The newest entry tipped us off to what sounds like a must-see KC band called The Straight Ups. Here are some excerpts regarding their recent performance at the Record Bar:
"Bacon wore a full gi (you know, the karate uniform) ornamented with lightning bolts and a curious bike helmet...".
"At one point Moroso produced a bag from the back of the stage, informed the audience it contained treats for later, and then knowingly demanded that no one touch it until then. Moments later a masked ninja sprung from the back of the stage, grabbed the goodies and slipped into the audience. Bacon shouted "Ninja Attack!" which launched the band into that selfsame named sloppy punk-infused number, and launched Moroso awkwardly into the audience to retrieve the treats. After some Power Rangers-styled fighting amidst the audience, the ninja was finally subdued. Once the bag was given up, the ninja slinked off, and Moroso, sounding like a Saturday morning breakfast cereal commercial, explained that "The ninja tries hard, but he never gets the candy."
"Somehow it made perfect sense that drunken fans booty dropped throughout the set, or that another dancer "flossed" her crotch with a scarf while the band rocked through ridiculous numbers like "She Loves My Rock and Roll" and "Cock Mountain."
Richard: "Let's admit, first off, that 'Cock Mountain' is truly a brilliant song title, rivaled only perhaps by the tune that Larryville's own Leotards recently penned about yours truly, which is titled "Sugar Dick" And I think it's safe to say that if the Leotards would simply get themselves a ninja and start flossing their crotches on stage, they'd be offered some gigs immediately."
Yesterday's NY-Time Sunday Styles section offers a fascinating account of a "campy, nautical-themed bar in the West Village" which has recently begun bussing in hipsters from Williamsburg on Monday nights to ensure their bar is always full. The bus is "tricked out with a dance floor, moody lighting, a D.J. and free alcohol."
“This bus is a little bit like going back to the New York of the ’70s or ’80s, when it wasn’t about the money, it was about the spirit,” said Richard Mark Jordan, an actor from Bushwick who was gyrating in the aisle with friends and high-fiving strangers. His revelry, while enthusiastic, seemed tame when compared with the crazed riders chanting “Party bus! Party bus!” while pounding their palms on the bus’s windows."
Chip: "Morons. It's a little bit like going back to the 'party-bus' of the frat boy days (a world these hipsters never knew), except that this bus is filled with boring hipsters instead of sweet college pussy."
"A woman in preppyish attire who in another context might be mistaken for a Congressional aide tried to crawl through a roof hatch, but her progress was blocked by a bolted cover... “This is raging!” said Ryan McGaffigan, a 32-year-old sales manager in a wool cap, plaid shirt and ’50s-style glasses. He had just polished off two Buds “shotgun” — puncturing the can and finishing it in one long swig."
Readers, Monday night is fast approaching. Will Captain Chanute be boarding this bus?
Check out the article here, which begins with a nod to Hunter Thompson, insulting the good Doctor's reckless reputation by comparing him to this bunch of half-assed hipsters who couldn't party, Gonzo-style, if their lives depended on it.