Saturday, January 23, 2010

This Week in Sports News / This Week in Local Crime / Dumb Band Name of the Day!

Two interesting sports story have entered the news in the past few days.

1) Tyshawn Tayl.r, apparently up to his usual tricks of saying stupid shit in Facebook statuses, has had his account permanently taken away by the athletics department. Is this even legal? Coach S.lf seems so annoyed by Tayl.r's on-line proclivities he can't even speak in complete sentences in interviews:

“Some of the things posted on Facebook ... I heard yesterday somebody reported on Facebook, but didn’t even know the exact deal, what they were reporting" (LJ-World).

2) Jimmy Tucker, AKA "White Owl," beloved local sports fanatic, has been banned from the KU campus after being convicted of violating a non-KU-related restraining order. Is this even legal?

Richard: "Dumb move on KU's part. White Owl is good for business. Every time I see that crazy hippie loudly and inanely professing his love for KU on Wescoe Beach I end up buying a new piece of KU-related merchandise. But sometimes I buy it at Joe College. So I guess maybe he's not good for business after all."


Larryville's increasingly bizarre crime wave continued early this week with a robbery at Great Harvest Bread Company (leading to a string of "How much dough was stolen?" jokes among on-line talkbackers) as well as an incident at Redbud Lane that led to this headline: "Man With Sword Subdued with Taser."

“It was a good example of the Taser doing exactly what it was supposed to do,” [Police Sgt.] Thomas said." (LJ-World).

Richard: "It's easy to make jokes, but I fear we're heading toward a war between the local sword-wielding methheads and the local drunks whose weapon of choice is cue balls wrapped in Crown Royal bags. Will police tasers be enough to keep things under control?"


The Jackpot brings UUVVWWZ to town tonight. says: "UUVVWWZ is the latest buzz maker from Lincoln, Neb. Pronounced “double U, double V, double W … Z,” the group has been called everything from avant-rock to power-jazz, drawing comparisons to Captain Beefheart, Deerhoof and even Bow Wow Wow."

Chip: "It's really fairly easy to say once you practice it a few times, but I still don't give a fuck."

Richard: "Don't be too hasty, Chip. Their Myspace picture is pretty cute:


Matthew and Emily Clothier said...

Did White Owl ever get married? I seem to remember he was engaged once?

unsure said...

Hello, Cl.thiers!

If he did, I never got an invite!

(actually, I think his restraining order issues may be due to the former fiancee?).

Not Anonymous--in need of Moniker said...

I'm pretty sure they got married. Or at least in their quadruple-blotter acid craze, both parties envisioned it. What better way to be married than by God Himself while tripping hardcore balls?