Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Boys Contemplate the New Phenomenon of "Avatar Depression"

James Cameron's Avatar 3D continues to shatter box-office records (it has now bumped Star Wars out of the #3 spot in all-time domestic box office grosses, leaving only Dark Knight and Cameron's own Titanic ahead of it).

But along with the thrill of ridiculous blue Na'vis cavorting about on magical alien horses to which they bond by connecting their hair comes a real problem: some fans have become so obsessed by Cameron's immersive 3D environment that they claim to be experiencing "Avatar depression," a terrible dissatisfaction with the real world that occurs following their visits to Cameron's Pandora.

A CNN report explains:

"On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie."

Richard: "I also have 'confused feelings' about this film, such as WHY is it so fucking popular?"

Chip: "Can't this 'depression' be attributed to the love of any film? I mean, after I spend an afternoon watching porn, I'm depressed that I'm not banging three chicks at once."

The article also offers quotes from the Avatar message boards, such as this one from "Eltu":

"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning. It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world."

Chip: "Wow, these Avatards are really sad, aren't they?"

Richard: "They sure are, Chip, and I don't want our readers to think that we don't sympathize with sad geeks, because we do. But at the same time I think they should just get over their 'Avatar depression' by doing what the rest of us geeks do, which is moving on to the next shitty fantasy film, such as Denzel's post-apocalyptic Book of Eli and maybe this weekend's flick about angry killer angels who come to Earth to wreak havoc."


Pastor J (I really don't make this up!) said...

When I ride my bike home from work, stopping by the Vermont Street Farmers’ Market on Tuesdays and Thursdays to pick up what I need for a nice dinner of grilled vegetables and couscous, I feel like the revolution and God is near me. It hasn’t always been that way. I’ve ridden my bike to the Farmers’ Market before and didn’t even think it had anything to do with God, but now it feels to me like God because my questions about whether God exists or not have all been put to rest. Riding my bike, buying fresh local produce and cooking instead of eating out, are all the things that are going to make me a “real man,” on the path which I believe God is luring me down.

I don’t think I’m special in this, either.

Anonymous said...

First, Pastor J: agreed. I also believe God lives through the small enjoyments in life. However, I almost feel this is irrelevant to what I am about to say so I conclude: well put, my friend.
Next, these Avatards; seriously, WTF? Why are these people so engrossed in a fuckin cartoon? Is Avatar really that much greater than the Smurfs or Fern Gully? Because it's clearly a blatant mixture of the two (I didn't make that up, but will claim some of the glory). Secondly, why did I decide against being a psychologist? I could make bank off these fuckin retards...but maybe I've made a good choice after all with education. Maybe I could fix the problem before it begins by teaching our kids to not be connected with real life in such a fragile and tenuous manner that a fuckin grade B movie by Jimmy C could make their lives feel hopeless! Coming full-circle to Pastor J, I really hope God has more in store for these pathetic losers. Or else I hope he blows the Earth up. Whichever will suit me.

ferngully is better said...

Yes, in many ways, Ferngully actually IS better.

Smurfs too.

"Smurfette doesn't fuck." --Donnie Darko

brain of j said...

"potencies in common things" - Robert Duncan
"wherever we watch, concordances appear" - RD
"Smurfette, the choice is clear, the smurf of your dreams is here. Forget about Hefty and all the rest, yours truly, Handy, is still the best." - Handy Smurf