Friday, January 29, 2010

The Boys' Box-Office Report / Hipster Pick of the Day

Well-known lunatic Mel Gibson makes his return to the multiplex this weekend in the revenge-thriller Edge of Darkness, his first lead performance since 2002's Signs. Are moviegoers ready to forgive his drunken Anti-semitism and take comfort in his patented cinematic head-bashing, or is the film best avoided? Let's see what the fanboys at AICN have to say:

Skyway Moaters says: "He's not a good actor. He is a racist anti-semitic bastard. On top of that he has not aged well AT ALL. He's CREEPY now. Wrinkly and grotesque. I Don't blame George Miller one bit for wanting to keep a wide berth of this motherfucker for his Mad Max SEQUEL. The son-of-a-bitch is batshit crazy IMO, and all you sycophantic fanboys who suck his syphilitic dick can kiss my ass!"

NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks says: "Skyway Moaters, have fun with Steel Magnolia's and The SisterHood of the Travelling Pants. I'll be off watching Edge of Darkness. Y'know, the new movie starring a dramatic/action icon and directed by the guy who reinvented Bond TWICE with Goldeneye and Casino Royale."


Hipsters who show up early to hear Pitchfork-approved Fat Possum recording artist AA Bondy at the Jackpot tonight may find themselves on local television soon: the opening set by Kaitlyn Conroy (last year's Farmer's Ball winner) is being recorded for an episode of Turnpike. Conroy's debut has received strong reviews from Pitchweekly: "...perfect for curling up in a blanket with some headphones on and staying inside."

Chip: "Then why should I go out to hear it?"

Kaitlyn's Myspace lists such instruments as the "trumzoo" (which we assume is some sort of unholy combination of trumpet and kazoo?) and "sleigh bells" as part of the band's sound and includes this picture of the band members:

Richard: "Conroy's good, but I prefer Hawley Shoffner."


Capt. Chanute said...

Hmmph. Guess I'll be staying in SEK tonight considering my entertainment options. Oh well. Nothing like a little country cruise, a 30-pack of Milwaukee's Best Ice, some country music and a slightly unwilling-while-sober underaged female. Yee haw!

Beasts Are Best said...

Why is Conroy always posing with animals? Does her music prominently feature cuddling with animals? Maybe the trumzoo actually involves blowing animals to make music?

Capt. Chanute said...

Now THAT I would get out of the house to !see

klinker said...

I'd pay a quarter to watch monkeys fuck.

(okay, so this is not really Klinker, but that's his catchphrase! that guy was nearly as vulgar as the Captain and needs to start reading this blog!).

kim's watermelon gun said...

So Kaitlyn's band is the road crew for The Flaming Lips? Good choice, I guess. I would have just gotten The Flaming Lips.