Monday, October 12, 2009

The Boys Read Playboy Magazine! . /Richard Attends Larryville's Third Annual Zombie Walk!

Thanks to the interweb, we all have a world of excellent hardcore pornography literally at our fingertips, which has made past tools for beating off, such as Playboy magazine, seem a little...quaint (Chip: "Playboy leaves me semi-erect at best." Richard: "These days, I actually DO read it for the articles."). However, the boys, being long-time fans of The Simpsons, are intrigued by the upcoming issue of Playboy featuring Marge on the cover.

Chip: "Finally, it's going to feel more normal to have a boner for Marge."

The issue hits shelves this Friday, and you can expect to see the boys in line with their copy sandwiched discreetly between a copy of The New Yorker and Cigar Afficionado.


Sure, this year's Zombie Walk took place (somewhat mysteriously) late on a frigid Sunday evening in early October, but that didn't stop upwards of 150 hipsters from dressing up as zombies and parading up and down Mass. Street to the delight of, oh, maybe a dozen or so fans. Richard took his customary position in the window of Harbour Lights, where he saw such sights as: a frat boy zombie with a case of Natty Light; a zombie pulling along her dead zombie dog; and a zombie reading The Zombie Handbook.

Here's a look (which contains none of those aforementioned sights):

Chip: "Idiots, every last one of them."


Anonymous said...

The zombie walk is a treasured hipster event. As a side piece, our foreign correspondent out of the NYC would like to relate a similar pre-Halloween festivity that is worth...well, note. Whereas Lawrence indulges in zombies, the NYC undead have set up a series of haunted houses (i.e. old commercial real-estate in the lower East Side). These houses are not for amateurs that require a bit of blood, gore, monsters, zombies, etc. They are for the more refined in taste, namely vampire lovers. One such house, features vampires only and gives Brooklyn's female hipster subculture yet another reason to spread their legs in public a la Twilight, this time. So far, out of 150 incidences, only 2 have been reported as rapes (coincidentally they were actually men dressed in drag) while an astounding 120 new blogs have been started by females that claim to have "banged some vampire that looked like Robert Pattinson." All things considered, NYC has one-upped Lawrence in its never-ending effort to give hipsters free rein of the City and to do whatever they deem pleasurable wherever they (and their 6 half-emptied PBRs) deem it necessary.

count chocula said...

Adam! Excellent report. And I thought vampires were only for tween girls and goth kids these days!

Fuck __! said...

I find your reporting offensive.

Because everything offends me.

Including this complaining that I'm doing.

I'm really very smart to see this you know!


--A very smart person who is easily offended by everything... and I'm smart.