Friday, October 23, 2009

The Boys Consider Eco-Friendly Sex Toys! / Also, the LC Offers Corrections to a Previous Piece

An article in this week's Time magazine regarding the increasing popularity of environmentally-friendly sex toys struck the boys as unintentionally hilarious. To entertain you on a dreary Friday afternoon, we offer you some choice quotes from the piece followed by some vulgar commentary! Enjoy!

"In many ways, choosing a sex toy is not unlike buying a car."

Chip: "I disagree. Any time I ask the owner of a sex shop if I can 'test-drive' the pocket pussies, they always refuse."

"As the green movement makes its way into the bedroom, low lighting is a must--to conserve electricity--but so are vegan condoms, organic lubricants and hand-cranked vibrators."

Richard: "I'll bet half the women on the East Side of Larryville use 'hand-cranked vibrators.' Sure, it might not ever actually get them off, but the self-satisfaction they take in energy conservation makes up for any number of missed orgasms."

Chip: "What do vegan condoms taste like? Tofu?"

"Walker recently attended her first Tupperware-style pleasure party, thrown by Oregon-based Earth Erotics, where the goods for sale included organic massage oils and whips made of recycled inner tubes."

Chip: "Myself, I'm not particularly into S&M, but I suppose if certain Quinton's waitresses wanted to whip me, I wouldn't say no, as long as we had a designated 'safe word,' such as 'woodchuck.'"

You can peruse the full article, called "Sex and the Eco-City" (get it?) here:,9171,1930503-1,00.html


On Tuesday, we mis-identified the author of "The Moon For Its Citizens" as Drakkar Sauna's Jeff Stoltz, but the actual author is Drakkar Sauna's Wallace Cochran. We apologize for any confusion. In response to that article, we also misquoted Chip as saying "I think I'm going to skip it [the book reading at the Raven] and reread Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol again instead." What Chip actually said was "I think I'm going to stay home and beat off while watching Hercules vs. the Moon Men instead."


Il Barbaro said...

So that's where my copy of Hercules vs. the Moon Men went!

Chip said...

I pretend they are Moon Women.