Monday, September 7, 2009

Hipsters on Film / Also: At Long Last, Hipster Porn Has Arrived!

Most hipster bands are content with a few years of drunken gigs at local bars before dwindling into the recesses of hipster-memory (a happy place full of "cow clouds"), but others, more pretentious and ambitious, insist on transferring their ideas to film.

Ssion, the gay performance-art band out of KC, began their career parading around in cowsuits and performing karaoke-style (you may remember them from the first Yeah Yeah Yeahs show in Larryville). Somewhere along the way they must have learned to play guitars and worked "with local art-scene mystic and musical prodigy J. Ashley Miller" (Wayward Blog) to become one of KC's most beloved hipster acts. "It started out as us making a gay record. And then pop trumped gay," Ssion's lead singer tells the Wayward Blog (Chip: "It's still very gay."). Now, with their film Boy, they're out to conquer new territory.

The Wayward Blog describes the plot as follows:

The film begins with Boy and Woman, who are "fat teenagers driving around country roads and coming to a school building that houses the Church of Satan. With a $50 swipe of his mom's debit card, the boy and girl become members. The girl begins lusting after money and power and grows quickly into the Woman, a deranged, Russian-accented, pseudo-Fascist businesswoman. Meanwhile, after breaking free of his tyrannical Ma (played by an all-in Chadwick Brooks) the Boy stumbles through a technicolor fantasia of underground gay clubs, leather-clad punk bands, fireside rituals, brushes with debased celebrities and so forth to emerge as a Prince-like cult phenom."

Chip: "That 'technicolor fantasia' is exactly how people from Forttt Scottt imagine Larryville to be."

Richard: "I hope this is better than the Lips' Christmas on Mars and I look forward to checking it out."


Readers, if you've ever wanted to know what hipsters say and think while they are fucking, you are in luck. Thanks to our friend Beth, we have learned about a website called "Look at this hipster fucking."

Yes, it's a pornographic website (more or's really pretty hard to get aroused by hipsters fucking).

If you check it out, I recommend you do so in the privacy of your own home, perhaps with your best hipster girl or boyfriend by your side along with a case of PBR.

Since this is a family-friendly blog, we won't offer a picture here but we will offer one of the captions from the site:

"No, you get up and put ‘Surfer Rosa’ back on."

Highly recommended!


A PSA from Dr. X said...

Well, isn't this just perfect:

Thanks, Richard: you've ruined fucking.

The whole fucking thing: ruined.

Before: I loved sex.

Now: I hate sex.

Noggle: you ruined sex.


--And that, my friends, is fucking irony.

I knew it! said...

Only a mention of pornography could lure our old friend Dr. X back into the fold!

(but Beth is to blame here...she's the one who turned us on to this...if "turned on" is the right phrase to use to describe hipster fucking).

With concern for his peener said...

Beth has been trying to destroy sexuality in all forms and ways so that she could horde the entirety of the concept for herself and distribute only as she pleased and pleases her.

--As such, the Republic should acknowledge her and her Communist Sexuality as a clear and present danger and certainly the greatest threat to our American way of life.

you mean second greatest threat said...

The first, of course, is the President's speech to the schoolchildren today!

Directed to the peener who was offended said...

The president gonna take my peener?