Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hipster Pick of the Day: The Leotards at the East Side Block Party! / Also: The LC Checks in With "Style Scout!"

Sure, there are more obvious hipster choices for the day. For instance, Fourth of July and Naomi What? will be taking their legions of hipster followers to a rare Jazzhaus show, where the usual fun-loving crowd who goes there to dance along to regional funk bands will surely be entirely baffled by What?'s bouncy Yo La Tengo covers and by all the fans standing quietly in the back with PBR's, steadfastly refusing to enjoy themselves in any outwardly noticeable fashion. And over at the Replay, the Ants will be doing...whatever it is that the Ants do (their Myspace lists their influences as: "savory, history, contra-sandinista, shia-sunni, norf-souf...").

But the true action may be at Hobb's Park, and we're not talking kickball. We're talking the local debut of Larryville's most-feared, least-seen band: The Leotards, starring LC-fan King Tosser and a drum machine (which presumably has a name of its own). Supposedly strongly influenced by New Order, we expect the annual East Side Block Party to turn into a full-on dance party or a booze-fueled orgy or a street brawl (perhaps all at once).


It's been too long since we checked in with's Style Scout, so let's take a look at the newest edition (compiled by one Ms. Katy Seib.l!) and see what's fashionable.

Eric Jorgensen, 24, is unafraid to label himself a "hipster" (most deny the charge), describing his style as "L.A. hipster meets New Haven prep." His fashion influences are "Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Brad Pitt, my friend David Jones and the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," and his attire of choice is "a slim, well tailored light gray suit." His Style Scout secret is that "I’m a lip-biter when I kiss a girl."

Chip: "Do girls like a lip-biter? I thought light nibbling was preferred?"

Judging from the picture, Jorgensen's suit must have been at the cleaner that day. Ladies, is he stylish, or isn't he?


Beth said...

He isn't.

EW said...

Yeah, I'm with Beth. Those boots are fucking unfortunate. The jeans are ill-tailored. And he needs to wipe that grin off his face.

nog said...

Okay, then I'm not going to emulate his fashion sense tonight!

And no grinning!

Beth said...

And EW didn't even mention the shirt! There's a whole lotta wrong going on with his look.

"And he needs to wipe that grin off his face." EW, I miss you.

The LC'S Fashion Report said...

I mean, if we're going to attack this poor monster, this lesser burrito of a man, should we not attack the schluby hat that seems to be hiding an indiscreetly receding hairline.

Losing one's hair is no excuse for a fishing attire, my paisley-plaid wearing friend. If Mr. Tim G*nn can all but expose his head as an albino baboon's ass and look fabulous with the quietest of pin-stripes, you, my friend, can have the courtesy to visit the fucking local haberdasher or at least wipe that shit-eating grin off your face.

Grade: Fail.

--Tangible hipster forecast: anyone that thinks they're hip and commits the most audacious sin of not being hip is doomed to be unlaid for the rest of his natural life. Likely this youn man will spend the better part of this evening masturbating to the dulcet tones of the Pussycat Dolls video on MTV 2 while reading Najib Aminy's Guide to Being a Hipster Douchebag as he cries himself to sleep tonight.

PS: I'd bet Red money that this silly bitch has tried to make paid donations to Pitchfork and plans to visit their Chicago offices on an ill-planned day-trip getalong adventure.

Oh, and one more thing said...

Holla at your boy... bitches.

Anonymous said...

Also: Scissor Fuck!

--I saw someone had mentioned that, and I personally think it's a great idea.

nog said...

Gosh, it's enjoyable when people actually respond to my silliness!

You know who I is. said...

I hate art.

Your readers want to know said...

Isn't Eric Jorgensen that piece of shit write for the Kansan that used to write piece of shit columns that not only exposed him as a local cum national toolbag... but also were incredibly douchey?

a hipster said...

Don't know. I only read

Jeanne said...

It looks like he has breasts.