Today in Larryville / Plus, The North Side is Coming to the West Side!?

For those who enjoy amazing displays of athleticism, the local kickball games are not your only option of the day. The town's second annual Ironman competition is underway at this very moment at Clinton Lake. The event draws participants from all over the country, most of whom wait till after the swimming, running, and biking to enjoy a PBR and a smoke. Will Chip win this year?

And in downtown Larryville an event is slated which we all knew was inevitable. Yes, the epicenter of musical hipness (Replay) and the epicenter of artistic hipness (Percolator) are forging an unholy hipster alliance in a Replay benefit to raise money for everybody's favorite quirky art gallery. Percopalooza promises music, poetry readings, an emcee, as well as: "Door prizes! Photo Booth! The famous make-it table! Clown paintings! Zines! Win a Farnsworth Bicycle Laboratory construction" (Lawrence.com).

Richard: "If all goes as planned, I'll be painted like a clown, reading a 'zine, and drunk on PBR by nightfall, at which point I'll ride home on a Farnsworth Bicycle construction, whatever that means."

The importance of this event aside, however, Larryville's true hipsters will likely be across the street at tonight's "super secret surprise show" at the Jackpot. But the surprise has leaked as of today to the general (unhip) public. The rumors are true: after a decade, legendary local hardcore band Coalesce is performing again! Don your t-shirts (which many hipsters have never stopped wearing) and join them tonight along with fresh-faced hipsters the Rooftop Vigilantes. Lawrence.com assures us that "Singer Sean Ingram's throat is coated with a fresh coat of RAAAAAWRRR."

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In bar-related news, Johnny's Tavern, a NorthSide institution known for its burgers, pizza, and bar brawls, is opening a second location on the West Side (in the former home of JB Stouts). As we know, everyone west of Kasold is as boring as they are rich, so you can expect the new Johnny's to feature lacrosse tournaments on the television and a lot of discussions about how the patrons really should support "the downtown" but the new Wal-Mart is just "so darned convenient."