Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Boys Check in With the City Commission / Plus, Happy Cinco de Mayo, Readers!

The Larryville City Commission now has new members to carry on the important work of the city, and it remains to be seen how they will handle hot-button issues such as domestic hedgehog rights and proposals for changing street names to honor the pure berserker rage of Missouri-hating former football coaches. Tonight, however, provides a test: will they pass a proposal to allow a "tent city" to be constructed in Burcham Park, providing legal camping for up to 50 of the area homeless population? The Burcham Park campground, if approved, would be located just north of KU's pricy new boathouse for the rowing team.

Chip: "If this happens, we're likely to see a lot of rowers suddenly turn up 'missing.' I mean, how could this proposal be seriously considered, given the recent surging crime rate in this city, with nightly stabbings and drive-bys?"

Richard: "I'm pretty sure none of those have been linked to the homeless, Chip."

Chip: "And I'm pretty sure you're naive."


Like most Americans, the boys have no real clue what Cinco de Mayo is actually celebrating ("Isn't it when Sancho Panza and Che Guevera liberated the Mexicans from the clutches of the dictator 'Speedy' Gonzalez?" --Chip). But nonetheless it's a fine occasion to don a sombrero, eat some queso, and get hammered on cheap margaritas ("Queso means cheese" --Richard).

The boys spent last year's Cinco de Mayo at the Sandbar and, judging from the report on that evening, they had a very nice time. Here's an excerpt: "Also spotted on this night: one of the most beautiful women yet seen in local bars, wearing a short, tight, black cocktail dress. When I see such a dress, Richard said (in his mind), the first thing I think about is removing it."

Richard: "What I meant to say was that I wanted to remove it...with my teeth."

See you on the town.


cl.thier said...

I just watched the Transmittens' video. O dear God. That's worse than I ever thought it could be. Please tell me that the Transmittens are really a zany satirical comedy troupe. That's really the only plausible explanation for such...such...well, I have no words to accurately describe, as the kids say, the fail that is that video.

future Transmittens biographer said...

It's all completely sincere and, I believe, quite fantastic.

They'll be returning to Larryville for a few shows in June and I hope that all of you will be in the front row with me so you can say "I saw them when...".

like the care bears after anger management classes said...

"...they completely sucked - thank God they haven't changed a bit!"

Dr. C said...

The Transmittens were all I expected and more! They completely fill the potential space of their subgenre: of cute, small-time indie music based on the themes of young love and innocent yearning. I like how the video focuses on jamming things together, just like their name and the song title. Cows and clouds, yes, but also donuts and fruit loops. Pop rocks and Coke. Ice cream and bavarian-style inns? Well, that last one was a little unexpected, but . . . still fun.

Dr. C said...

Wild Chipmunk on the other hand . . . maybe I'd feel different after a few more oat sodas, but it seems to me all their songs are about 10 seconds long, and then they repeat them about 14 damn times in a row. That S--- is not worth listening to, although maybe it might make good background music for a burlesque.

a pleased fan said...

Ah, leave it to Dr. C to "get" the Transmittens and understand their minimalist perfection. Truly, they are Larryville's most loveable dreamers, surrounded by so much hipster cynicism!

I'll see them strung up said...

I will destroy their cowcloud dreams and force their useless asses into menial labor digging ditches for Republicans in Power!

--The Transmittens days are numbered.