Friday, May 8, 2009

The Boys' Guide to Summer Blockbusters / Plus, Cougar Recap and Today's Art Pick!

Readers, it's Stop Day and the boys are completely spent after last night's sorostitute-orgy. But nonetheless Richard has found time to don his Romulan battle gear and hop in line for the new Star Trek "reboot." You might think that sounds a bit geeky, but you'd be wrong, because the geeks all dress as Spock. In fact, even Chip has some interest in Trek as a cultural phenomenon: "It really has added a lot to the language: Nanoo-nanoo! May the force be with you! ET phone home! It's hard not to be somewhat impressed by the depth of its cultural impact." (Chip).


Although the newest episode of "The Cougar" did not quite deliver the red-hot cougar-den action that the previews promised us (providing instead a bit of sensitive "pillow talk"), it did teach us several important lessons, as always. The episode began with the cubs revealing their darkest secrets to the cougar, who then chose the two most interesting candidates for a skydiving date. The secrets chosen by the cougar were: a stint in rehab; cheating on a girlfriend with her best friend. Later, the cougar excused the ex-rehab cub from the house and chose to keep the philandering cub, making him promise never to hurt her should they fall in love. He promised; she believed him. Later, the cubs were asked to write a song for the cougar. Her pick: the one that sounded most like John Mayer, proving once again that women can never resist the lure of sweet nothings played acoustically by boring white men. Next week's trailers reveal another trip to the cougar-den, this one actually featuring a make-out session with a shirtless cougar (Chip: "Even prior to a first kiss, I always remove my shirt. It's just something I do."). Stay tuned.


Today's art pick takes us to La Esquina in KC: "On May 8, 2009, beginning at noon, Kansas City based artist Jason Dixon will attempt to complete the most performance art pieces ever enacted by a single person in a single day. Clad in competitive swimming gear and acting through his alter ego, Tito, Dixon plans to re-create a selection of seminal performance art works of the past, from Bruce Nauman’s “Bouncing in Corner” to Vito Acconci’s “Turn On,” and Theme Song,” to Paul McCarthy’s “White Line.”

Richard: "I'm guessing that 'bouncing in corner' is pretty much exactly what the title suggests."


yIn nI' DaSIQjaj 'ej bIchepjaj said...

1. More on the history of the klingon language:

2. Fuck art.

old school Trekkie said...

The fanboy websites are abuzz. Here's a good one:

"Anyone who likes this movie...
by Fa_Tass_DinoMolester May 7th, 2009
08:12:16 AM
deserves to be reamed in the anus by Chancellor Gowron and Gul Dukat until they're completely dead! Burn in Sto'Vo'Kor, JJ and Orci and Kurtzman, you useless pustules!"