Thursday, March 31, 2011

Das Racist and Ebony Tusks: The Reviews Are In / Read Across Larryville Begins Tomorrow

Ultimately, we weren't hip enough to attend last night's Das Racist/Stik Figa/Ebony Tusks/Team Bear Club hip-hop extravaganza at the Granada, but we feel like we can piece together a good sense of the evening from Chewyfally's Channel 6 commentary and the Pitch's review.

" a grand gesture of support, the entire Team Bear Club crew had crawled onto the stage and danced throughout Ebony Tusks' entire set. The entire crew was decked out in black, with the men wearing leather jackets and the women donning shimmering black tights." (Chewyfally).

Chip: "What IS this Team Bear Club? Is it a cult, like Polyphonic Spree, and how can I become a part of it?"

"Das Racist kept you second guessing their musical identity. Just when you start to get into a serious beat, they start running circles around the stage while making animal noises." (Chewyfally).

Richard: "I'm certain that Pitchfork would see these 'animal noises' as a powerful political statement of some sort, perhaps a commentary on how pop culture is forcing us all to devolve into a more primal state."

And the Pitch says:

"[Martinez] Hillard is perhaps most known for playing in Cowboy Indian Bear, but without a guitar and microphone stand to anchor him, he raced around the stage, his iconic-in-Lawrence dreadlocks spinning like chopper wings. Hillard's Cowboy Indian Bear pal Katlyn Conroy grooved behind him onstage, wearing a homemade shirt that read "Ivory Hooves," a no-doubt subtle allusion to a forthcoming Lawrence supergroup, Cowboy Indian Bear Club. (The scene can only hope.)"

Richard: "Indeed 'the scene' does hope for that. Personally, I'd like the supergroup to get one step more 'super' by incorporating the Rooftop Vigilantes and becoming Cowboy Indian Bear Club Vigilantes."

"During one song [by Das Racist], as I took the above picture, my camera's flash caught the attention of Kandabolu, who promptly lobbed a half-full can of Bud Light across the crowd, hitting my left leg. "I don't think he wants his picture taken," said the guy next to me. I threw what was left of the can back at Kandabolu, splattering his left leg as well. He shrugged with an impressed nod. Retribution was mine."

Chip: "Once again, violence erupts at a hip-hop show. But at least it's nerdy, Larryville-style violence."

Read Chewyfally's piece (with photos and video) here

And read the Pitch review here


The proclamation has officially been made (photo below; click to enlarge): April is Read Across Lawrence month and the book is Harper Lee's beloved masterpiece To Kill a Mockingbird. Expect to see hipsters at the Replay reading dog-eared, PBR-stained, paperback copies. Expect to see pseudo-intellectuals at the Pig reading on their IPAD 2's while discussing the book's use of 'the Other'; expect to see hippies on the Free State patio reading copies they dumpster-dived and discussing how the book tells us we've all got a right to be free, man!

We'll be discussing the book on Twitter off and on throughout the month at the hashtag #TKAMB , along with our Twitter-buddies @nuthousepunks and @theraymondmunoz and whoever else wants to tweet along. Come join us.

Find a list of the complete slate of Read Across Lawrence events here

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Public Service Announcement from BARRR: ADD Hotline / Burlesque Pick of the Week: Frivolitease in KC

One of our favorite recent drunken activities in Larryville is calling BARRR's new ADD Hotline at (762) 233-6619, where anyone can leave a message and find themselves immortalized on a future podcast. Listen closely to last week's podcasts and you'll even hear Chip (normally shy about public speaking) calling in to promote a boner that he was especially proud of.

Here's BARRR himself to give you the full details:

"The last voicemail left [on the hotline] asserted that I might be the Mike Jones of Lawrence KS...I don't know what the fuck that means but that dude is good at creating hype so I'm down with that as long as substance follows! The messages are getting better and more often. I'm going to have to stop getting text messages whenever a new one comes down the pike. It's starting to wake me up at night now that word is spreading. If you think about it, this is just like the KU line the paper had where you could call the "free for all" and say anything. A person would then edit down or just censor what you said and post it in the paper. It was stupid but a hit. Funny and sometimes profound. That is exactly what I want from the A.D.D. hotline for the new BARRRHEAVEN.COM blog! The best part is....I'm not necessarily going to censor anyone and you actually get to hear your own voice in some form...maybe sampled or perhaps your whole thought. This is also a podcast for adults. No rules, you can say whatever you want and I'll pick the best stuff to put out. So, that's one side of the hotline. It also is going to function as an event hotline. I don't have time to call all the local business's and ask what they want me to hype. If they want to be on the podcast they have to call and I'll just post it with a little music thrown in. This has the possibility of becoming so amazing. I'm stoked. Hope you are too. This is a new way of interaction! This makes it easier to create new fun podcasts and keep it from EVER getting boring! What do you think? Call the hotline! (762) 233-6619

Richard: "I'm hoping that all of my comments are sampled along with some bleeps and blips from the Transmittens."


Burlesque remains popular in these parts, though perhaps no longer hip. But the Pitch sold us on this weekend's cleverly-titled "Frivolitease" burlesque show by Bazooka's Show Girls in KC at the 17th and Main Club. Make sure to visit the address below for a slideshow and titillating bits of description such as this: the girls "[create] a human centrifuge with just two strips of silk and a too-tight corset."

We're not sure what exactly is happening in this photo, but we're intrigued by it.

Chip: "I think he's inspecting them to make sure they're capable of creating a human centrifuge."

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

LOL With the OED! / Pitchfork Reviews: The Weeknd / Das Racist and Ebony Tusks

Sure, you've heard a lot of jokes already about the Oxford English Dictionary adding on-line/texting acronyms such as "LOL" and "OMG" to its listings, but have you actually taken the time to look up the OED entries and trace the origins of the terms?

The first usage of "OMG" is traced to 1917:

1917 J. A. F. Fisher Let. 9 Sept. in Memories (1919) v. 78, I hear that a new order of Knighthood is on the tapis—O.M.G. (Oh! My God!)—Shower it on the Admiralty!

Chip: "I thought for sure 'OMG' would have been invented by a sorostitute on a cellphone."

And here are some later usages:

1997 C. Parker Joy of Cybersex 183 OMG Oh my God!

2006 Elle Girl Mar. 134/4 Is this ridiculous to anyone else? Are we dreaming? OMG, What is going on?

The OED justifies the inclusion of such terms by explaining that "there often seems to be a bit more than simple abbreviation going on."

Richard: "I'm pretty sure it's just abbreviation and laziness."

We're pleased, however, by the OED's inclusion of the phrase "muffin top," defined as "a protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers."

Chip: "Muffin tops often give me a boner."


Any band with a prominent missing vowel is sure to be embraced by the blogosphere, and Pitchfork gives The Weeknd's debut an impressive 8.5:

"Less than two months ago, few of us had ever heard of the Weeknd. Then, as soon as the creepy R&B tracks from this free mixtape began to circulate, the hype engine revved up. There was the Drake cosign, the album art that looked like Spiritualized crossed with Tumblr art-porn, the missing vowel, the stylish samples, and the project's creators hiding in the shadows."

Richard: "They had me at art-porn."

Of the opening track, "High For This," Pitchfork writes that lead singer "Tesfaye handholds a partner through some strange sex act, singing, "Trust me, girl, you wanna be high for this."

Chip: "I will listen to this record for however long it takes me to figure out what 'strange sex act' is being performed. And then I'll toss it aside."


Over at Channel 6, Chewyfally offers more press for Wednesday night's long-anticipated Das Racist show at the Granada, with openers Ebony Tusks, Stik Figa, Greg Enemy, and all sorts of shenanigans from the Team Bear club crew:

"Team Bear Club, along with oh!mr. and Sneakhype, are pulling out all stops for Wednesday's show. Concert-goers will get treated to some of the most energetic hip hop performers Lawrence has to offer, and Ebony Tusks' set will include a surprise performance. "Bear Club is definitely going to be in full force," says Hillard [of Ebony Tusks]. "It's just the way it always is when we all get together. We're just hoping everybody else is as entertained as we are."

Scenesters, it's time to start spreading wild rumors about the nature of the surprise performance. Janelle Monae, maybe?

Read Chewyfally's full piece here:

Monday, March 28, 2011

KU Exits the Tournament / Nudity on Stage / Bears of Blue River

It wouldn't be Spring Break in Larryville without a snowfall or two and a devastating tournament loss by the Jayhawks, who crashed and burned during yesterday's match-up with VCU. But surely we must congratulate the boys on a fine season, right? After all, only eight teams make it to the Elite Eight.

Let's see what the LJ-World talkbackers are saying.

First, the angry "fans":

HawkfromHays says: "See you next year...when we choke again."

Next, the conspiracy theorists:

This_guy says: "it's not choking when the refs have family in Vegas can't get anything going without a bullsh@t foul will all come out soon ...".

And, finally, the sports-haters:

dsplawrence says: "I hate sports, and I particularly hate all of these clones who walk around this town by the thousands in identical blue Jayhawk T-shirts. The photo of the two frat-types looking as though they've just learned that their trust funds have been taken away from them has really made my day. Too bad this town's identity hinges upon a college sports team. Boo hoo."

Chip: "Hey, I own one of those shirts! Also, one of the saddest aspects of the loss seems to be totally forgotten in the talkbacks. With no Final Four in our future, our chances of seeing titties on Mass. Street next weekend decrease significantly."


Luckily, there's still one great space where public nudity is celebrated: the theatre. Our greatest local theatrical experience (mentioned here on numerous occasions) occurred a few years back when one of Dr. X's nubile students performed full-frontal simulated sex scenes on the stage of the Lawrence Arts Center (in a play by Adam R. Burnett whose title, but not content, now escapes us).

If we could see one show in New York right now it might be "Ha: A Solo," a performance art/dance piece which opens in this fashion:

"The tone is set by the entrance of three performers — Natalie Agee, Carmine Covelli and Neal Medlyn — who rush around, screeching wildly. Mr. Medlyn, it might be noted, is in black body tights with a hole neatly cut to allow his penis to hang out." (NY-Times).

Chip: "This sounds like the greatest public penis performance since Sherron Collins performance on the elevator."

The show continues in this manner:

"Ms. Truscott enters by backflipping naked after Ms. Agee’s speech, then poses in a backbend, sculpturally lighted (by Kathy Kaufmann), before gleefully announcing, “I’ve been raped, twice!” (NY-Times).

Our feminist readers: "Obviously, the power of dance has allowed her to transcend her victimization."

Richard: "No asking price is too much for this kind of art. But I'd also jump at a chance to see the trouble-plagued Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark, even though Julie Taymor has now been ousted and the play's Geek Chorus, which seemed like the only halfway intelligent aspect of a fucking MUSICAL based on Spiderman, has been excised in an effort to make the play more coherent."

Chip: "Despite all the problems, I remain convinced that the show will, and in fact MUST, go on. America needs this play."


We haven't really done any research on Bears of Blue River, playing tonight at the Replay with our twitter-buddy Katlyn Conroy, but we find their name and the following picture adorable. See you there.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

KU vs. VCU: Our Obligatory Elite Eight Post

KU's Elite Eight match-up between this year's "Cinderella," VCU, is fast approaching, and we imagine many of you are drunk already.

Chip: "I haven't been this nervous since KU/Davidson in 2008. I love my Jayhawks, but if we lose today I will boo and jeer them until next year's Madness."

Always forward-thinking, the LJ-World is already printing articles about how the Larryville PD is amping up its police presence for next weekend's Final Four crowds downtown.

In the talkback, Kris_H offers this suggestion on how best to deal with the crowds:

"How about plenty of trash barrels so the drinkers can be responsible enough to throw away their own plastic cups? Oh, wait, then they might throw trash barrels."

Richard: "That's right. If we lost during the Final Four, I'd totally throw a trash barrel through the window of the nearest pizzeria, just like Mookie in Do The Right Thing. I'd possibly do the same thing if we won."

Most fans are (over?) confident going into today's game. But what about the team?

In an LJ-World piece today, Marcus Morris says:

“I enjoy being the Goliath. We’ve been a No. 1 seed two years running, and we’ve been Goliath two years running. When have we ever been Cinderella? I don’t think ever in the history of Kansas we’ve been Cinderella."

Chip: "Marcus tends to mix up his Bible characters and his Disney characters. He's possibly also forgetting that David slayed Goliath. But in some ways I prefer his mixed-metaphor. Can you imagine pretty-princess Cinderella slaying Goliath? I can't."

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Final Friday Recap / Elite Eight / The End of Hipster Runoff

In Larryville's Friday night showdown between basketball and art, we're pretty sure that basketball won. But, as for us, we found time to squeeze in a little art during halftime and after the game.

First we stopped at Invisible Hand for Dave Loewenstein's "Them," an examination of the idea of "the Other," a perennial favorite term of literary types such as ourselves (Chip: "Are hipsters Others?"). Loewenstein gets our vote for the most timely work of art we spotted last night: a silhouette of a pig-eared Virgil Peck (he of the recent, infamous, "feral pig" immigration comments).

Next we stopped at Wonder Fair to chat with BARRR about the value of the scenester "mustache art" on display down at Teller's (verdict: we prefer other kinds of art).

And, post-game, we basked in the glow of Leo Hayden's paintings of Mario Chalmers at Henry's Upstairs, beginning to dare to dream that KU might be headed toward one more championship game.

Chip: "Actually, I'm fairly certain VCU will beat us tomorrow."


While visions of NCAA championships dance in the heads of most Larryvillers, plenty of interweb pundits are poking fun of our "easy" route to a possible Final Four and beyond. Look at these thoughts from a piece on containing this headline: "Kansas turning into NCAA Tourney's embarrassment: Easy draw (not pregame tussle) taints title race":

" team in the history of college basketball may have received the E-Z pass lane to the national championship game that Kansas has..."Not at all," Kansas forward Marcus Morris says in the Kansas locker room on being asked if the talented Jayhawks crave a test in the tournament. "I feel like we have been tested. It doesn't matter what the seeds are. These are good teams." And Hot Tub Time Machine was a good movie."

Chip: "First off, Hot Tub Time Machine WAS a good movie, so the logic here is lost on me. Second, even though I'm a raging pessimist when it comes to KU basketball, I urge you to ignore and turn instead to the Atlantic's piece called 'March Madness: If You Root Against Kansas, You Root Against America," which contains this bit of pure truth: "...rooting against KU also means that you support slavery, hate America, and want the President of the United States to fail.'"

Read the piece here:

And read the Atlantic piece here:


An important era in hipster history ended yesterday when mysterious blogger Carles, of Hipster Runoff, called it quits with this final message:

"I think I've accomplished everything I wanted to with this project. I can't imagine myself blogging about anything else ever again because I feel like I have already blogged about everything and I am just a slave to boring alt memes. It's probably time to move on and find a real career & some challenges that can actually make the world a better place.

Thanks for the memories. We had a good run. I apologize to every one who I have hurt.

The Blogger Formerly Known as Carles."

Richard: "It's a touching message, and we're also pondering shutting down the LC to accomplish better things (on Twitter). When that happens, we'll also apologize to those we've offended along the way, primarily Wayne Pain and the Shit Stains."

Chip: "In the meantime, can I be the new Carles?"

Sure you can, Chip, but you have to abandon the impeccable grammar of your boner jokes and start writing like this:

"...there is some sort of krazie sex party going on in the video. Steve Aoki is trying to brand himself as HARD... hard core, hard bangers, hard peens, hard sex, hard drugs, hard everything. Sorta get scared by this video, but at the same time, rlly, rlly turned on."


Here's a piece from Loewenstein's "Them":

And here's the greatest piece of art we've seen recently, on display at the 6th Street Hy-Vee, according to our Twitter-sources (Chip: "Finally I understand the term 'pop art.' Get it?"):

Friday, March 25, 2011

Weekend Picks for Geeks: Sucker Punch and Planet Comicon / Plus, IFC's 50 Greatest Sex Scenes

Remember when you heard that Zack Snyder was adapting 300, and you geeked out, and then the movie came along, and it was sort of worth geeking out about, and then you heard Snyder was adapting Watchmen, and all the trailers called him a "visionary," and then you geeked out like you'd never geeked out before (except for maybe the Star Wars prequels), and then Watchmen came along and it pretty much blew (but not as much as the Star Wars prequels), and then you heard Snyder was doing an original "vision" for the first time called Sucker Punch, and that it would be about sexy women in prison (and also dragons), and you geeked out again, but then the trailers were just increasingly awful, and today the movie has arrived, and you really don't feel like geeking out about it all, and in fact may even skip it.

Slant magazine writes of several of its action scenes: "All bloodless, weightless, inconsequential sound and fury, these dynamically composed but masturbatory centerpieces are cast as the reveries Baby Doll experiences while she performs dance numbers that mesmerize Blue and his gentlemen clientele."

Chip: "Hmmm. I probably DO want to masturbate to them, but I may wait for DVD."

Probably a good idea, Chip. Maybe you should just head over to KC's Planet Comicon instead and meet the real-life Bionic Woman, Lindsay Wagner, and the dude who played Boba Fett. Details here:


One never knows what one will encounter on Twitter. This morning, for instance, an unusual number of people seemed to be discussing the legendary Donald Sutherland/Julie Christie sex scene from Don't Look Now. We soon discovered why this discussion was occurring: a new book is out in which author Peter Bart claims he can verify the long-standing rumors that Sutherland and Christie are actually having sex in that scene:

"It was clear to me they were no longer simply acting: they were fucking on camera."

As we engaged with this discussion and its links, we also stumbled upon IFC's list of the 50 Greatest Sex Scenes, which ranks the Sutherland/Christie fuck as THE greatest in film history:

"Christie and Sutherland start out in the bathroom -- she's in the bath, teasing him about encroaching love handles as he dawdles around in the buff. Later, lounging on the bed, they exchange kisses that lead to poignant, unplanned lovemaking, the scene intercut with shots of the two dressing for dinner afterward."

Chip: "As I don't watch 'films,' I admittedly haven't seen this scene, but the description barely even gives me a boner."

Richard: "I'm confident you'd get a boner, if you can sort of tune out the Sutherland portion of it, but I'm more fond of IFC's 3rd choice: the lesbian scene in Lynch's Mulholland Drive. IFC writes: 'Definitely hot, but points lost for the digital blurring out of Harring's genitals.'' I'm also hoping the list will soon be revised to include a new Sapphic classic: Portman and Kunis in Black Swan."

Minor criticisms aside, IFC has compiled an important list that will make you want to discover or revisit films such as 1985's French drama Betty Blue (clocking in at #6):

"Beatrice Dalle and Jean-Hugues Anglade spend most of this movie nude (in Dalle's case, nude and/or going berserk), and the opening scene, depicting a good minute of Dalle's shrieking, shoulder-gnawing orgasm beneath Zorg, is a fitting intro."

Chip: "Maybe I SHOULD watch more 'films.'"

Peruse the full list here, adjust your Netflix queues, and enjoy:

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Final Friday Art Guide / Tips on Drinking PBR

Tomorrow brings an interesting cultural conflict to Larryville: should you watch KU's Sweet Sixteen match-up against Richmond, or should you go out and look at art for Final Fridays? Since most of Larryville seems to be treating this weekend's game(s) as a mere formality along KU's inevitable road to the Final Four, we assume that most of you will choose art.

Chip: "Or perhaps some of the galleries will have the game on, so I can look at sports INSTEAD of art?"

Here are our picks for this month's event:

We're especially excited about "Build This Cardboard Thing" at the Percolator, in which guests (along with Larryville artist Eric Farnsworth) can participate in the construction of some sort of cardboard creatures which will then be part of a parade on April 1.

As Farnsworth puts it, "I have built a few fairly large cardboard things, so I thought it would be nice to get people together to build an animal-like thing, and walk around with it" (

It sounds very nice indeed, and we are anxious to be part of it.

We also plan to get interactive at Wonder Fair:

"Just in time for the coming summer, Wonder Fair presents 'Eyeteeth Summertees' -- a live interactive print event by the Wonder Fair Family! Gallery goers will create one - of - a - kind tshirts by choosing the placement of eyes and teeth designed by Wonder Fair Family Members Kelly John Clark and Jason Barr on tees hand dyed by Eric Dobbins" (

We're planning to create a fantastic Larryville Chronicles logo by adding eyes and teeth to a PBR can.

And at Invisible Hand, artist Dave Loewenstein presents "Them," "An installation of cut-paper tableaus that follow Drones, Nimbys, and Frame-up Specialists as they try to rid their back yards, business districts, and border towns of Them" (

Chip: "?"

Also recommended: our Twitter-buddies in Tangent Arc will be rocking at Love Garden; Teller's will still have the March Mustache Madness exhibit; and our friends at the Q5 gallery are doing something at Henry's Upstairs (instead of upstairs at Quinton's, much to Chip's chagrin).

See Molly Murphy's complete guide to events at


At, chef Erik Desjarlais offers this loving tribute to PBR, which we print here in full:

"From 1882 to 1916, Pabst Brewing Company tied little blue ribbons around their bottlenecks. These days, PBR is the quintessential cheap can of beer. I enjoy it served icy cold with a pinch of salt. And any good bartender will put a thumb indent in the can for you for sipping ease upon opening. I’ve seen an individual drink 30 PBR tallboys, and at the end of the day, anyone who survives that gets a blue ribbon. If you’re feeling fancy, stick your pinky out and call it a Pabst Cordon Bleu. And do try the salt trick... it works wonders on the beer."

WHEN will the Replay get hipper and start placing salt shakers at each table on the patio?

Read the full "Bringing Back the Can" piece here:

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Art Review: March Mustache Madness / Larryville Bands at SXSW

Last night's March Mustache Madness art opening at Teller's may have been billed as a "reverent" approach to the subject matter, but the scenesters on hand for the event were decidedly irreverent, donning fake mustaches and taking pictures of each other next to the art.

They annoyed us, especially after we'd gone to the trouble of growing real mustaches especially for this event.

But how was the art itself? We especially enjoyed the following:

--BARRR's Golden Parachute, a colorful piece involving a parachuting mustache (symbolic of the resiliency of scenesters' favorite facial hair?).

--a collage of mustaches throughout history, including such favorites as Wilfred Brimley and Magnum PI but (sadly) leaving out a contemporary favorite (unless we overlooked it): Parks and Rec's Ron Swanson!

--Wayne Propst's Mustache Baby Doll, in which Propst had added a mustache to one of his patented Baby Doll Heads (as seen recently at Invisible Hand and the Pig). As we walked by, Propst himself was staring into the eyes of his own work, a mystical communion between artist and baby doll head: it will haunt our dreams. Mustache Baby Doll can be yours for $300.


Chip: "A powerful exhibit which really made me think...about mustaches...and how silly they look on scenesters."


As mentioned last week, we weren't hip enough to trek down to Austin for SXSW (or maybe we were TOO hip?). Luckily, our Twitter-buddy @chewyfally was on hand and made a point of rocking with many of the Larryville bands at official showcases and otherwise. Make sure to read her piece, complete with videos and photo galleries, at this address(or via direct link in our "Important Local Resources" section):

What we like about @chewyfally's music reporting is that she loves everything (as opposed to those fickle sons-a-bitches over at Pitchfork). Here's an excerpt from her piece:

"Lawrence bands have dedication. They live and breathe their music and work hard to bring it to the masses. I talked to a photographer from a London publication at the Graveface showcase. Upon learning that two of the bands there that night were from Lawrence, he said "Oh, I hear there's quite a scene out there."

And here's a picture of one of the "Noise boys" from The Noise FM showing the Brits our devotion to Pabst:

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Mustache Art! / Scenester Pick of the Day: White Mystery at Replay

Final Friday is on the horizon, but you'll want to get a head start on art this evening at Teller's at the opening for "March Mustache Madness," a "a group show of mustache themed/inspired/reverent art" ( The event runs from 6:00 to 8:00.

Richard: "I'm glad that the subject is being approached reverently. Mustaches are such an easy target for facile hipster observation, but I suspect there's some complex cultural work to be done here and I look forward to seeing it."

Here's a picture from the Rathaus's coverage of the event. Read their full coverage of Final Friday art at the following address (or via direct link in our new "Important Local Resources" section in the sidebar):


The following sentence from Pitchfork immediately convinced us that we need to see White Mystery, the brother/sister duo of Miss Alex White and her younger brother Francis, who are slated to rock the Replay tonight:

"It's great fun to see the redheaded siblings headbanging like matching "Fraggle Rock" puppets in their ecstatic live show."

But perhaps you need more convincing than we did. If so, know that Pitchfork gives the album a perfectly respectable 7.2:

"Don't be dissuaded by other, more infamous "White"-themed guitar-and-drums duos: [Miss] Alex White still has swagger for miles as a guitarist and vocalist. To compare younger brother Francis to his counterpart from the aforementioned White Stripes, he's a more accomplished player but less present as a personality."

So, let's sum up. The guy in White Mystery is a better guitarist than Jack White and they look like Fraggle Rock muppets. See you there.

Photo from

Monday, March 21, 2011

Local Hip Hop Event of the Week: Ebony Tusks' Midas / The LC Book Club Reads Green's Dictionary of Slang

If you love local hip-hop, today's an important day: Ebony Tusk's Midas is now available! Go to the address(es) below for a free download (direct link in our sidebar) and prepare to shake your ass with Ebony Tusks at the Granada on March 30 ((alongside Das Racist, Stik Figa, Greg Enemy and the BEAR CLUB BOYZ).

Chip: "Do you think Das Racist will play that song about the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell?"

Maybe, Chip, but Pitchfork says they've moved on from that novelty tune into something much more sophisticated. Indeed, Pitchfork bestows a very-high 8.7 on Das Racist's 2010 release Shut Up, Man:

"...all of a sudden lowbrow humor gives way to subversive social commentary and a culturally literate wit that was too hilarious to immediately draw attention to how really fucking smart it was."

Chip: "Do you think anyone will ever say such a thing about our blog?"

Richard: "Doubtful, Chip. We're too fond of boner jokes."


If you're like us, you're still working and cooking your way through the six-volume Modernist Cuisine (Richard: "My next attempt at the '30 Hour Burger' should be ready by noon tomorrow!"). But now we must turn our attention to another massive and important project, the newly-released Green's Dictionary of Slang , which was 17 years in the making and being heralded as the "largest-slang dictionary ever published in English."

Here's an internet commentary on some of Green's entries regarding sex slang:

"One of my favorite euphemisms—“Ugandan discussion”—is included, as well as many variations on themes, such as “playing.” You can “play at” itch-buttocks, all fours, belly-to-belly, blindman’s bluff, bo-peep, fathers and mothers, and handie-dandie. You can also play “night baseball,” “the first game ever played,” or “Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet.” The most romantic term might be “bouncing refrigerators.” I’m going to add that to the hobbies list on my dating profile immediately."

Chip: "Obviously, this book is absolutely invaluable! As for me, I recently learned a new use of 'boner' from watching Katie Aselton's mumblecore film The Freebie. Lamenting the decline of his marital sex life, one of the leads of the film proclaims: 'You still give me major boners, only these days they are mainly snuggle-boners.' I get those too."

Richard: "Does Green's tome include the word 'bitch-cakes,' or doesn't it? Because I've tried for years and years to get it to catch on and I just can't do it. It's driving me absolutely bitch-cakes."

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Party Pic of the Week: Young Scenesters in Love

After a long hiatus, intrepid scenester photographer A. Ruscin ventured into the wilds of Larryville to document the St. Patty's revelry. We're fond of this picture of two young scenester-sweethearts outside the Jackpot.

Chip: "He doesn't look like he's into it. He's probably late to see a band."

Name these scenesters and win a prize.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

UFO Summit Review / Scenester Pick of the Day: Jaill / SXSW: Odd Future Wolfgang Kill Them All

We enjoyed mingling with the true believers and Eastside conspiracy theorists down at the Reykawvik Summit at Liberty Hall yesterday. Perhaps you were drawn there yourself by the giant Batman-like spotlight sweeping the Larryville skies last night?

We offer this brief selection of highlights.

--From a lecture: "Most flying saucers spin counterclockwise and many look like crouching spiders."

--From a Q&A: "Did you see the dead alien bodies at Roswell yourself?" "No, but my father had friends who saw them."

--A scary looking fellow sitting in front of us wearing a jacket with "Cold War Veteran" on the back who purchased a blinking, flying saucer-frisbee.

--Raw footage!!! Go to the Youtube address below to witness "UFO battleship" footage and a presentation from Sam Maranto, who offered an afternoon session yesterday on "mass sightings" (but why did he not also screen the footage he claims to have seen in which giant mechanical alien tools and such protruded from a cloud as bright as a sun?):

Final verdict: three out of four Free State beers served in souvenir "OzUFO" pint glasses!


Tonight offers a good chance to catch a SXSW band on their journey back home to Milwaukee. Jaill hits the Jackpot tonight (along with the Spook Lights). Pitchfork gives a 6.5 to their 2010 album That's How We Burn:

"Jaill exhibit the most promise on early single "Everyone's Hip". The song is pure pop overload...Kircher fits syllable after syllable into his own vocal endurance test, rattling off barely discernible lyrics and at one point breaking into what sounds like Spanish. The song is a weird pleasure."

Richard: "Sold. I love bands that act extra letters to their name."

Chip: "And I love the song's positive message about how all of us are 'hip.' Or am I missing some irony again?"

Go here for a free download of the tune and see for yourself:


Pitchfork joins the rest of the blog-world in championing LA collective Odd Future Wolfgang Kill Them All, writing of their SXSW showcase:

"Compared to Odd Future, almost everything else at SXSW can't help but seem a little dusty and faded. These potty-mouthed kids with punch-something beats and the kind of exuberance only youth allows are easily one of the most talked-about at the festival this year. And watching them gun through a half hour's worth of the best material from their wealth of mixtapes only justified the hype."

Chip: "I can't listen to them without getting their lyrics stuck in my head: 'We go skate, rape sluts, and eat donuts from Randy's.' There's just something wonderfully universal about it, despite the specificity, that I think really speaks to the youth of today."

Friday, March 18, 2011

St. Patty's Recap / Weekend Guide: Basketball and UFO's / More SXSW Coverage

St. Patty's Day has come and gone, leaving us all with a lingering green-beer hangover and fuzzy memories of what seems to be some sort of Jayhawk-powered rocket ship.

So how should you spend this weekend? First and foremost, basketball. Louisville's stunning first-round loss yesterday only solidifies Larryville's belief that the Hawks are coasting right into the championship game. Get drunk and keep believing.

But make time for the UFO Conference at Liberty Hall as well. We'll likely be on hand this afternoon for the panel on "Mass UFO Sightings," which focuses especially on the 2006 O'Hare incident.

Chip: "Nanoo, nanoo!"

Richard: "Don't joke, Chip. This shit is real."

Go here for details:

Or perhaps you prefer your extraterrestrials to be foul-mouthed, pot-smoking little creatures voiced by Seth Rogen. In that case, check out Greg Mottola's new film Paul, in which Nick Frost and Simon Pegg befriend the titular alien. The AV Club says:

"Pegg and Frost’s relationship is depicted with an almost homoerotic tenderness that doesn’t always extend to other aspects of the film."

Chip: "I was really hoping the homoerotic element would extend to the interspecies relationship of the film as well, because the concept of boning an alien (in my case, of course, an alien woman) is fascinating to me, and I plan to ask the experts about it down at Liberty Hall today."

Richard: "I wish Greg Mottola would have made Adventureland 2: Return to Adventureland instead of Paul."


And here's your daily helping of SXSW coverage. Pitchfork reviews a set by Montreal's Braids:

"Braids were already running late when they finished their soundcheck with Raphaelle Standell-Preston announcing that they'd be leaving for a few minutes, "because that's what we always do." Annoying! Hey guys-- some of us are on a pretty tight schedule here! But then I saw why they had left: the four members of the Montreal band were standing to the left of the stage, engaged in a passionate group hug. Adorable!"

Richard: "Real hipsters don't hug. I'm distressed by this warm-and-fuzzy aesthetic infiltrating much of the scenester community lately. I like my indie bands apathetic and emotionless."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patty's / Style Scout / SXSW

It's St. Patrick's Day, and we assume most of our readers are drunk by now, and we're on our way downtown to join you, so let's be brief.

First off, today's Style Scout is the best in a very long time. Thanks, (now put up some new party pics!).

Jensina Endresen decribes her style as "Karen O. meets the Grey Gardens estate sale." She's into "super high-waisted pants, sailor stripes, funky tights, fur, feathers, leather and lace" and does not care for "inappropriately short dresses."

Chip: "I was with her until that last bit."

Our vote: stylish! And her photo gives us a craving for Taiwanese dumpling soup. (Chip: "Is that some sort of innuendo?" Richard: "No, Chip. Click to enlarge and look at the sign behind her.").

Next up is our Twitter-friend Tyler Waugh (we had a link to his mixtape in the sidebar for a long time: did you download it, or didn't you?). He describes his style as "bright, eclectic and sometimes obnoxious." Does his flowery vest encapsulate all three of those styles? Tyler would like to see more "house shows and people dressing up to dance" in Larryville.

Chip: "When I dance, I like to be as close to naked as possible. More freedom of movement."


SXSW is underway and we're keeping close tabs on it through reviews and tweets. Today we offer this excerpt as an excellent representative example of what we imagine the festival mindset is like:

"Sometime between watching the English duo Mount Kimbie wash a room in deep pulses and heading out, I noticed one person — amid a sea of discarded folding-paper 3D glasses — holding a pair of actual plastic red-and-blue 3D Wayfarers. Two other people were discussing it: Where do you get those? Is that person working? Did you have to come early for those?" (

Chip: "The bands are right in front of you, scenesters. You do not need 3D glasses to see them."

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Bracketology, Plus a St. Patty's Preview

March Madness is our second favorite tournament of the year (just behind the local KVKL kickball tournament), and we've been hard at work on our brackets this week.

Chip has KU going out in the first round.

Chip: "Here's my logic. (A) We all know about the dreaded curse of the 'B' teams and (B) a 16 seed inevitably has to beat a #1 at some point."

Chip often claims that he can tell you "exactly where I was and what the weather was like" for every tournament loss dating back to 91. And he's not exaggerating.

Richard, however, is caught up in the (delusional?) optimism of the rest of Larryville and assumes there's not even a possibility of a KU loss until at least the championship game (and then only to Ohio State).

Win or lose, we'll be drunk throughout the tournament, starting tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day, where we'll be stationed outside the Granada in order to catch the post-parade performance by the rapper B Double E, who will be singing 'Red and Blue KU' from atop the Granada marquee. The Granada's special for the day: $4 Irish car bombs.

Chip: "They're as delicious as they are culturally insensitive."

But don't ever try to order one at the Tap Room, where one of the bartenders is noted for his refusal to make the drink. They say the customer's always right. But not at the Tap.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Kansas Political Controversy of the Week / SXSW-Bound Scenester Picks of the Day

During yesterday's House Appropriations Committee Meeting, which involved a discussion of the state's handling of feral swine, Republican Representative Virgil Peck suggested (jokingly?) that the state's illegal immigrants might best be handled the same way: shooting them from helicopters.

Peck later explained that he "was just speaking like a southeast Kansas person." (LJ-World).

Chip: "Well, yes, that is how we speak. But it's also the reason we shouldn't be elected."


Perhaps, like us, you're not hip enough to be in South by Southwest this week. Luckily, the festival always insures that a few bands en route to or from Austin will stop by Larryville to entertain us.

Tonight brings Pitchfork-approved Ty Segall to the Jackpot. His 2010 album, Melted, earns a 7.5:

"Melted, his latest, boasts a 30-minute runtime that feels closer to 15. Segall gets in, gets out, and gets it done nearly every time."

Chip: "Is this an album review or a description of my lovemaking prowess?"

But what does Segall sound like?

"Ty Segall pens crackling classic-sounding rock'n'roll tunes about as lean and economical as they come, pushing his rangy shoutalong hooks so far forward there's rarely room for pesky little details like verses."

Richard: "As for me, I've always enjoyed the presence of 'verses' in music, so I'll probably opt for another SXSW-bound showcase over at the Granada: alt-country 'supergroup' Middle Brother. I'm not exactly sure that members of Deer Tick and Dawes necessarily constitute a 'supergroup,' as critics insist on terming them, but I predict a hootenanny nonetheless."

Chip: "Isn't the Deer Tick dude banging one of those darlins' from Those Darlins?"

Richard: "Don't be crude, Chip. They're engaged now. I read that he proposed by presenting her a 'toe ring' at a recent show in Brooklyn."

And, if you prefer your SXSW-bound bands to have local connections, don't forget that the presence of Dri and Extra Classic at the Tap Room tonight will tranform the venue from the award-winning "best place to dance" in Larryville to the best place to dance in the entire universe.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Recent Concert Reviews: Shows We Didn't See (Plus One We Did)

As usual, we miss a lot of shows that we really should attend.

First off, why were we unaware of the existence of Emilie Autumn, "the vegan, bi-polar, asexual Victorian industrial, classically trained violinist, who has a tattoo on her arm of her cell-block number from her stay in the mental. Oh, and she's also obsessed with rats." (Pitch). Sadly, we missed her show at the Beaumont, much of which, based on the Pitch's review, consisted of the women on stage making out with each other and, at one point, a member of the audience:

"Veronica invited an 18-year-old girl with hot-pink hair onstage, who was wearing little cardboard rat ears... After much titillating fanfare -- an eskimo kiss, a hair caress -- Veronica smooched the girl passionately, knocking off her cardboard rat ears," while "An upsetting number of bearded dudes with ponytails and leather jackets stood toward the back of the venue with their hands in their pockets."

Chip: "If I'd only known about this show, I could have been one of those dudes."

We also missed the Get Up Kids return to a hometown stage last night at the Bottleneck (we'll assume their return was triumphant). The Pitch says:

"Outsiders tend to dwell on the whole emo thing, holding the Get Up Kids responsible for the rash of sappy dreck that flooded the airwaves with whiny tales of unrequited love in the early '00s."

Richard: "Well, yes, I do hold them personally responsible for that dreck, so much so that I didn't indulge in my desire to attend last night's show and sing along with 'Mass Pike' with the rest of the aging scenesters. Do I regret my decision? Yes."

Chip: "I still love emo. But only new emo."

Another recent show we didn't attend: Tapes n' Tapes at the Jackpot. The Pitch says:

"...some of Tapes' cables weren't working, or the Jackpot's speakers weren't working correctly. For a brief moment, I was nervous that the show would be called off and that Tapes would suffer the same fate Tame Impala did in November. Luckily, the show went on, and Tapes began to play. (The sound was terribly distorted, though. I had a hell of a time hearing vocals and keyboards.)"

Looks like things never change at the Jackpot!

So what WAS hip enough to lure us out over the weekend? We chose the ukulele stylings of Sadie Mae at the Replay. Silencing a crowd of hipsters with a lovely version of "Tonight You Belong To Me," from The Jerk, Sadie then held us in thrall with an adorable song about her cat (sometimes it wants food and sometimes it gets in the shower with her) and a song about her fondness for Pokemon. Prior to Sadie's short set, we might have thought Larryville was over-saturated with adorably quirkly ukulele-strummers, but she proved us dead wrong.

Following Sadie was MAW, Larryville's all-female traditional bluegrass act, who cozily draped a (presumably self-stitched) quilt across the stage before their hoedown. Here's hoping this idea catches on. We'd love to see a quilt from the Rooftop Vigilantes.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The LC's Book Club Reads The Six-Volume Modernist Cuisine / Help Find This Scenester!

We first blogged about Nathan Myhrvold's massive six-volume, $625, Modernist Cuisine in a post from September of last year, but now that it's finally set to be released this week, we need to revisit the work, which many claim will become a revolutionary guide to the way we think about modern cooking (at least for those who can afford it).

Like everyone in Larryville, we love a gourmet burger, so we're especially excited about the work's recipe for the "ultimate cheeseburger":

"Prepping the lettuce and tomato requires a vacuum sealer. The cheese is restructured—heated with ingredients like carrageenan and cooled in a mold—for a gooier texture. And making the burger itself requires hand-grinding the beef and using half-cylinder molds to catch the strands and gently form the patties. Total time for the recipe: 30 hours, including time for the bun dough to rise, 2½ hours for preparation and 20 minutes for assembly."

Richard: "I can only assume that Bates and Krause down at the Burger Stand will live by this book. We may have to start placing burger orders 30 hours in advance."

Go here for a fascinating "interactive" look at the "ultimate cheeseburger," and make sure to order your copy of Modernist Cuisine today:

Here's a picture from Modernist Cuisine:


Readers, let's put our heads together and help out this fellow whose Craigslist Missed Connection post seeks a woman he spotted at Mass. Street Music:

"Ratty houndstooth coat and what might be the largest beehive I've seen outside of a John Waters movie. You went to Mass Street Music on a Saturday and played the electric guitars downstairs then went upstairs and played Kinks songs on the acoustic guitars upstairs. I wouldn't bother posting over a month later, if I was able to stop thinking about you."

Perhaps he's referring to the Spook Lights' Curvacia Vavoom?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Public Meeting of the Weekend: Library Expansion Design

Sure, today is all about the epic (inconsequential) Big 12 Tournament match-up between KU and Texas, but make time tomorrow at 2:00 to stop by the Lawrence Public Library for a public discussion of the library expansion plans. Here's an excerpt from today's LJ-World piece:

"Kirk McClure, a West Lawrence neighborhood member, said he had heard concerns that the new library would have an entrance only on the Vermont Street side. That would make it less convenient for Old West Lawrence residents to walk to the library."

A chorus of Eastsiders: "Why must we kowtow to the Westside fatcats when we all know that Eastsiders use the library more than anyone else? Walk around the block, lardasses."

Richard: "Of course there should be a West side entrance. There should also be a North side entrance."

Chip: "But aren't most residents of North Lawrence illiterate?"

Richard: "I'm thinking primarily of the hobos who need a warm place to rest up after their long trek across the bridge and before attacking Free State with their railroad spikes."

On the LJ-World talkback, Monkeyhawk has this to say about library director Bruce Flanders' request for public input: "That's mighty big of you, Flanders. It reminds me of the nasty little girl who stole the dime my mother gave me to buy a popsicle at school. Nasty girl bought herself an orange popsicle and had the gall to ask me if I wanted a bite."

See you at the meeting (which we'll be attending primarily to promote our Twitter participation in next month's Read Across Lawrence project).

Friday, March 11, 2011

Weekend Guide: Basketball, Music, Movies

First off, let us say that we enjoyed mingling with our fellow Tweeters (and even a few blog readers) at the Lawrence Tweet-Up last night. And we apologize for Chip's rudeness (he spent the evening communicating, like some hipster Darth Vader, through a PBR box with holes for eyes and mouth). Maintaining his secret identity is very important to him.

Now on to the weekend.

We're not sure if the Hawks won accidentally or on purpose yesterday but, either way, their journey through the unimportant Big 12 Tournament continues today. For a 6:00 tournament game, we usually try to be drunk by noon at the latest. See you downtown.

Tomorrow brings "Fake Patrick's Day" to the Replay, which serves as a benefit for the Social Service League and features bluegrass and biscuits and gravy.

Chip: "Sausage gravy?"

Richard: "No. I think they use Hamm's."

Another music highlight occurs late on Sunday. Make your way to the Tap Room, where our Twitter-buddies in Noise FM play a homecoming show (what hip new things have they learned while living in Chicago?). We hope the "Noise boys" are aware that the Tap just won the prestigious "Best Place to Dance" award in Best of Larryville: you better play a set that will let us shake our asses!

On the film front, there are several prime opportunities.

If you thought the hippest theological event in town was Plymouth's Theology on Tap (at the Tap Room), wait till you experience the "Sanctuary of the Cinema" film series of our Twitter-friend @Saint_Upid , who screens unusual choices at the First Baptist Church on Kasold Drive, followed by a post-film theological discussion. This Sunday's choice: David Lynch.

Chip: "Is it Mulholland Drive? Because those lesbian scenes give me a boner that may not be suitable for a house of worship."

Relax, Chip, it's Lynch's G-rated (but excellent) film The Straight Story.

Chip: "Oh, that's the one where the old man rides the lawnmower across the country, right? The lawnmower symbolizes God, does it not?"

Richard: "I think so. But make sure to ask that question during the discussion."

Showtime is Sunday at 6:30. Get the full press release at this address:

If you prefer multiplex fare, Battle: Los Angeles opens today. According to Ebert's half-star review, it's "noisy, violent, ugly and stupid."

Chip: "He had me at 'noisy.'"

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Style Scout and Local Hip-Hop

We love it when Style Scout is useful to us, profiling local bartenders or musicians that we are likely to encounter in the scenester circle.

Today's subject is Katlyn Conroy, newest member of Cowboy Indian Bear. Her favorite fashion trends are "hair brooches, knee-high socks, red lipstick, and lace."

Chip: "Women in knee-high socks give me a total boner. It's the only thing I like about kickball season."

She'd like to see more "harpists" in Larryville.

Chip: "That's where our views differ."

But let's turn from Katlyn to another member of Cowboy Indian Bear, Martinez Hillard, who is soon to release a "mini-concept" hip-hop album called Midas under the name Ebony Tusks on March 21. If they get 500 downloads in the first week of release, Ebony Tusks will re-release their much-in-demand single "Sioux Empire." Help them out, Larryville! Go to the address below (or direct link in the sidebar) for more info and to watch an invaluable short video that offers a glimpse into the Larryville hip-hop scene. It's so rare to see scenesters actually having fun!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Larryville's Missed Connections / The LC's Album Of the Week: Starfucker's Reptilians

After the debauchery of Fat Tuesday, today seems like a slow news day in Larryville, with many citizens still lost in idle, often delusional, speculation about what will replace Borders. It's NOT going to be a Trader Joe's. A real-estate agent quoted in the LJ-World assures us of this: “They like really big markets, or else they like markets with per capita income of about $80,000. I think hell will freeze over before Trader Joe’s comes in here.”

Let's take today and visit the Larryville Missed Connections on Craigslist for this moving tribute from a lovestruck young artist:

"It seems like just yesterday that I watched you from a safe distance. Your confidence blew me away. I'm a sucker for brunettes. As an aspiring artist, I tried to draw you once but you moved away from the window before I could finish, and before I could finish the drawing, too. I know you're graduating soon, but where are you moving after you graduate? I'm afraid I'll lose you forever. If you respond, please tell me the color of the bra I stole from your room is, so I know it's you."

Here's wishing you find true love, or perhaps get arrested for breaking-and-entering, whichever the young lady deems fitting!


So what are we listening to this week at the LC, you ask? Everything out of Portland remains hip (have you tried Free State's new Stumptown Stout, made with Portland's Stumptown coffee?), and Chip is currently enamored by the new Starfucker record, Reptilians, which receives a solid "A" from the AV Club, which calls the album:

"An exuberant, life-affirming synth-rock gem full of catchy keyboard squiggles and inspired by, interestingly enough, a meditation on death by leader Josh Hodges, Reptilians proves that really good bands can also have really stupid names."

Chip: "How is Starfucker a stupid name?"

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Boys Celebrate Fat Tuesday / Larryville Prepares for UFO Conference

It's Fat Tuesday, readers, and we've been downtown all day marching with Truckstop Honeymoon's Mardi Gras parade, drinking homemade Hurricane's out of a thermos, and asking women to show us their tits. Why the aversion to public nudity, Larryville? We thought you were liberal?

Chip: "The only time you can count on a public titty display in this town is if we win the national championship."

We snapped a few photos from the stairwell at Free State during the post-parade concert, and you can view the whole parade (courtesy of Chewyfally and Channel 6 News) via our link in the sidebar today. Which reveler is Chip? Try to guess.


Occasionally Larryville decides we don't have enough kooks and eccentrics of our own and insists on inviting more to town. Prime example: BuskerFest. Upcoming example: the Reykawvik Summit, bringing a "rare consortium" of UFO experts to Liberty Hall for a conference on March 18-20.

Chip: "I look forward to telling them that there are more important things that live in outer space than little green men. Yes, I'm talking about God."

Richard: "I've already perused the schedule and circled my 'must-hear' presentations, such as 'The Connections Among: ETs, Shadow People & Djinn' and 'Shoot Them Down" The Flying Saucer Air Wars of 1952.'

Go here to learn more, purchase tickets, and read why Larryville is the perfect location for this conference:

Monday, March 7, 2011

We Consider the Best of Larryville Award Winners / The LC's Book Club: The Tiger's Wife

If there were a Best of Lawrence award for the longest and most drawn out poll, the Best of Lawrence awards would easily win. After months of compiling every possible nominee for every category and months of counting votes, the nominees have finally begun to appear (with winners being rolled out hourly on throughout the day and, yes, we are riveted).

Here are a few of the early highlights.

Unsurprisingly, 715 takes the Best New Restaurant category. 715 is known for its fried bologna, butchery dinners, endless variety of fluffy-bunny dishes, and cheap High Life cans. What's not to love?

The Tap Room won out over The Cave and Abe and Jake's as Best Place to Dance.

Chip: "Obviously, college students did not vote for these awards. Who in their right minds would rather dance to obscure funk with sweaty hipsters than grind with the coeds at Abe and Jake's? Mind boggling."

And in perhaps the biggest upset of the day, the hipster kitties at Love Garden were defeated in the Best Store cat award by Stanley, the cat down at Sunflower Outdoor and Bike. Those Love Garden cats are going to need to drown their sorrows in an extra saucer-full of Hamm's tonight.


Just when we thought no one could ever possibly write a greater novel than Franzen's Freedom, along comes Tea Obreht, 25, whose debut The Tiger's Wife is earning rave reviews: "every novel that comes after it this year is in peril of falling short in comparison with its uncanny beauty" (Time). We'll be reading Obreht's tale of a "wayward zoo tiger" and "the man whose life's path was formed by the tragic beast" very soon, but in the meantime Obreht moves to the top of our "authors we want to bone" list."

Chip: "Move over, Joyce Carol Oates."


Our scenester pick of the day is Seattle band The Head and the Heart at the Jackpot tonight. Are Seattle bands still hip? Who knows, but we like their album cover, which we find strangely terrifying.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

We Consider the Northwestern University Sex Toy Controversy

Let's take a break today from cursing CBS and muttering about "sunspots" and focus on an important story concerning education.

Sure, it was controversial, but we applaud Northwestern professor J. Michael Bailey's decision to allow a live sex-toy demonstration in an optional after-class lecture.

Chip: "It WAS optional, after all, although I can't imagine who would opt out on that sort of opportunity."

Apparently, Chip, a majority didn't bother to stick around:

"Nearly 600 students are in Bailey’s class this quarter, and most didn’t stick around for the after-class show..." (Sun-Times).

Richard: "See, this is the problem with students today: so apathetic they can't even stick around to watch a sex-toy demonstration. It's just like that Monty Python sketch where the teacher is boning his wife in front of a class of disinterested kids."

To be completely accurate, however, the live-sex portion of the lecture was apparently spontaneous. We can only hope that more students would have stuck around had they known what was about to occur.

Here's a statement from the professor:

“My hesitation concerned the likelihood that many people would find this inappropriate. My decision to say ‘yes’ reflected my inability to come up with a legitimate reason why students should not be able to watch such a demonstration.” (Sun-Times)

Chip: "Exactly. In fact, I can't believe KU's Dennis Dailey didn't think of this first. The ball's in your court now, sir."

And we'll end with our favorite quote, from Justin Smith, 21, one of the students who witnessed the event:

“It was for me academic like everything else."

Chip: "This fucking kid was probably taking notes instead of enjoying his boner."

Read a full account of the story here:

Friday, March 4, 2011

Weekend Cultural Guide (Movies and Dining)

Liberty Hall's "midnight movie" series returns tonight with a screening of Donnie Darko. We're not sure the demographic for this, but we assume it will mostly consist of late-night stoners who get baked before the film and head to Java Break's cereal-bar afterwards for a post-film discussion of the nature of time and giant mechanical bunnies. Are we fans of Darko? Sure. Richard often brags about how he was one of the eleven or so people who saw the film during its first theatrical run, long before it garnered its cult following and before Richard Kelly tainted our memories with his "Director's Cut" which tried to make the film make sense.

On Sunday, Liberty offers another special film event, Luna Fest, a series of films "by, for, and about women."

Chip: "At first I assumed this would be a series of lesbian films. I looked at the titles and saw one called 'Top Spin,' which I imagined would be about one lesbian spinning around on top of another. But then I saw this summary, and my boner subsided: 'With hard work and family sacrifice, a young table tennis champion works towards becoming one of the top players in the world.'"

And one other film option in KC has caught our attention. As scenesters, our favorite genre right now is "mumblecore," so we're thinking of heading over to see what's being called the first "mumble-noir" film, Cold Weather, which is set, unsurprisingly, in Portland. J. Hoberman writes that the film "steadily build[s] in intensity from sluggish interest to mild excitement."

Larryville Westsiders are looking beyond the weekend to Monday's opening of Famous Dave's barbecue way out on West 6th.

Westsiders: "It's no Olive Garden or Red Lobster, but it will satisfy our corporate cravings for now."

Our friends at Biemer's (no doubt a little nervous) are cleverly greeting their competitors with a new billboard:

"Not Famous but damn good."

A chorus of townies and scenesters: "No barbecue shall touch our lips until Vermont Street BBQ returns."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Weekend Show Preview: Tapes 'n Tapes / Plus, a Larryville "Missed Connection"

Tapes 'n Tapes is a good example of the fickle taste of the scenester world, as illustrated in this middling 5.5 Pitchfork review of their new album, Outside:

"In 2005, it was surprising-- occasionally, even thrilling-- to hear such indie rock élan from a new band. The music was youthful and fresh, the sound of a band who seemingly happened to get famous for its wide-eyed, innocent hero worship. This, however, is the sound of a band trying desperately to get back to that exuberance, and failing."


"The trouble with Tapes 'n Tapes is that they sound a little like a lot of bands but never very much like any one band-- namely, themselves."

Richard: "Isn't that last statement true of at least 90% of all hipster bands?"

So, even though they've lost a little of their critical luster, tomorrow night's show at the Jackpot might still be worth checking out for openers Dale Earnhart Jr. Jr, a Detroit duo whose Horse Power EP has a cover that Chip finds "delightful."

Chip: "It's a colorful pony!"


It's been a long time since we showcased a Larryville "Missed Connection" from Craigslist. Here's one that appears to be from a good-hearted citizen yet still creeps us out terribly:

"I just wanted you to know that me and my friend were NOT trying to molest you. I almost hit you with my truck when I was dropping my friend off around 2am on Sun. February 27. You were standing in the middle of Mass. St. near Central Jr. High, you were on the phone. You seemed very drunk and we didn't want to see you get hit by a car or get arrested, so we tried to offer you a ride to where you needed to go. You were too drunk to communicate with us and then you walked back into the middle of the street. Some people pulled up and you got into their car. I hope they were you friends and that you didn't get raped."

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Spring Arrives in Larryville / Also, Read Across America and Read Across Lawrence

Yesterday brought two of the surest signs yet that spring has sprung in Larryville: March Mustard Madness got underway at Free State Brewery and KVKL kickball registration began. Rumors flew on Twitter (as rumors do) that the boys would be fielding their own team this year, called the Larryville Life Boners, with a giant boner mascot and Chip's identity constantly protected by a PBR box with eyeholes cut out. Sadly, these rumors are (probably) not true. But make sure to register your own team at the KVKL website:


March 2 is Read Across America day, a national celebration of reading coupled with the birthday of Dr. Seuss. The boys are considering a series of "guerrilla readings" this evening, in which they infiltrate various venues and "go Seuss on everybody's ass" (Chip). Watch especially for our Free State performance, in which Richard reads "Green Eggs and Ham" while Chip dines on the titular dish, slathering it liberally with fancy mustards.


But let's turn away from rumors and possibilities and end with truths. The Larrvyille Chronicles (or, more specifically, our Twitter counterpart @larryvillelife ) is extremely pleased to join forces in April with the Lawrence Public Library and our Twitter-friend @bananasuit for one of the many events of Larryville's Read Across Lawrence program, which focuses this year on Harper Lee's perennial favorite To Kill a Mockingbird. We'll be heading up a Twitter book club that offers a hipster perspective on the work: what can Atticus and Boo and Scout still tell us about ourselves, as contemporary scenesters? Joining us as discussion leaders will be our friends from @nuthousepunks and @theraymondmunoz and possibly others. The event will have its own hashtag (still to be determined) so you can easily follow along and participate while drinking a PBR. Please read or re-read Mockingbird prior to April and join us. More details to come.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Pop Culture Corner: We Consider the Fake Rahm Emanuel Account and the New PG-13 Cut of The King's Speech

We've always been vocal fans of fake Twitter accounts. Local and regional favorites include @EvilTurnerGill and @fakenedyost. And a highlight of last year was @EmperorFranzen, a fake account which helped deflate the hype surrounding Jonathan Franzen's Freedom.

The most recent fake account to gain a lot of publicity has been the Fake Rahm Emanuel account, which earns this piece of incredible praise from

"The profane, brilliant stream of tweets not only may be the most entertaining feed ever created, but it pushed the boundaries of the medium, making Twitter feel less like a humble platform for updating your status and more like a place where literature could happen. Never deviating too far from the reality of the race itself, @MayorEmanuel wove deep, hilarious stories. It was next-level digital political satire and caricature, but over the months the account ran, it became much more. By the end, the stream resembled an epic, allusive ode to the city of Chicago itself, yearning and lyrical."

The account's mastermind has now outed himself as Dan Sinker, founder of the legendary Punk Planet zine.

Read the full piece here:

Let's take a look at a few of the @MayorEmanuel tweets and see if they are as brilliant as they've been declared:

"Watching Axelrod eat at Manny's is like watching Da Vinci paint the motherfucking Mona Lisa: a work of art."

"I've held the motherfucking pulsating heart of Chicago in my hands, and I know that it beats true."

"Now let's go dump some fucking Chico signs in potholes brimming with dogshit-infused rainwater runoff."

Richard: "Obviously, this is quintessential American poetry on the scale of Whitman and Sandburg yet combining the anarchic political spirit of Hunter S. Thompson. Can a Twitter feed win a Pulitzer? Let's hope so."

Chip: "What makes it great is the use of so many 'fucks.'"


And speaking of 'fucks', let's consider another current pop-culture story. In a (successful) effort to garner the film a PG-13 instead of its current R and make some valuable family-audience money, Harvey Weinstein is recutting Best Picture winner The King's Speech, muting a few of the 'f-words' in an important scene between Firth's King and his speech therapist played by Geoffrey Rush. Both Firth and the film's director Tom Hooper are on record as opposing the changes.

What's our view?

Richard: "FUCK this. I supported Weinstein's (successful) efforts to repeal Blue Valentine's NC-17 because that was a matter of artistic principle as well as financial concern, but this is just money-grubbing Hollywood bullshit."