Monday, December 19, 2011

The LC's Christmas Vacation

Readers, we're officially on holiday break, so we'll be blogging intermittently, if at all, for the next few weeks, depending if there are any stories (such as #heblowsalot) that require immediate attention.

In the meantime, we urge you all to gather around your tree made of PBR cans, like the one pictured below in Williamsburg, and enjoy the holidays.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Wilders Tear the Roof Off / Alarmist LJ-World Editorial of the Day / Odd Photo of the Weekend

Readers, some things are too good and pure for us to heap any snark upon them and such is the case with the Wilders' "end of an era" show at Liberty Hall last night, a masterpiece of breakneck fiddling, heartbreaking honky-tonk, and certainly the best harmonica playing we've ever witnessed (courtesy of Pokey Lafarge's ace multi-instrumentalist Ryan Koenig). The evening culminated with both bands joining the crowd on the dance floor and taking turns solo-ing atop a chair for a singalong of "I Wish I Was a Catfish." If you didn't wish YOU were a catfish by the end of the set, you probably weren't paying attention.


We can't get enough of editorials by East Larryville progressives up in arms about the possibility of Doug Compton's new hotel. Here's one from today's paper called "Death Knell":

"I see where they want to build another tower in East Lawrence: the “iSoar Tower.” Is that grandiose enough?

This seems an odd neighbor for the old veterinary office, the Social Service League, the Percolator, the ancient Turnhalle and the other venerable buildings along Rhode Island Street.

Apartments, condos — gosh, even a hotel. Perhaps they’ll have a casino. The winner would get the last parking place in Lawrence.

Let’s be serious. This tower would toll the death knell for East Lawrence. It must not happen."

Richard: "The writer should have printed that last sentence in all caps."

Chip: "A casino sounds terrific."


And we leave you today with this photo of KU basketball's Naadir Tharpe being pushed around in a shopping cart at Wal-Mart. It's one of Coach Self's more unusual training methods.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Weekend Cultural Coverage: Honky-Tonkin' with the Wilders, Booze-Fueled Mayhem with Scroat Belly, and Cavorting With Drunken Santas

Signs are pointing to tonight's Wilders' gig at Liberty Hall being an old-fashioned barnburner. A) It's one of their last gigs before taking 2012 off. B) They are joined by Pokey Lafarge and the South City Three. C) The gig is not billed as the usual ultra-family-friendly Holiday Hoedown (which had grown a bit forced in its jolliness lo these past few years). But yet there is still special child-pricing ($2.50) making us fear the room will be full of kids crying like babies when we spill our beers on them.

Here's Pokey!

And you should probably follow up the Liberty show with a trek down to the Replay to catch the legendary Scroat Belly (have they played without Kirk before?) and Snakebite, which features members of Split Lip, Grain and Demise, and Hell Cat Trio, or so says the Replay's site. This show will be rowdy. Someone send us a report (since we'll certainly be passed out already by then).

And don't forget to join the drunken Santas of SantaCon tomorrow as they booze it up at the Sandbar, the Granada, the Red Lyon, the Replay, and Henry's. Check out their itinerary here

Look at Santa on stage at the Replay from last year's event:

And we leave you today with this video of a Senior Citizen flash mob dancing at the Larryville Wal-Mart. Old folks are so hip right now!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Nerd Nite Recap / KC Scenester Pick of the Week: La Guerre at Record Bar

Larryville's second installment of Nerd Nite has come and gone and, like the first, it packed Pachamamas full of nerds. After the Nerd Nite origin story had been invoked (this is a nice touch, conjuring the feel of a comic book...or a religion), the presentations began.

Here is what we learned:

--Sometimes a lecture about orchids can sound like a lecture about boners ("Long." "Veiny." Size is very important in judging.").

--"Some orchids smell like rotting meat."

--Children's activities can work just as well with a roomful of intoxicated nerds as they do with children ("Zip Zap Zop!").

--If a lecturer asks an audience of nerds whether they remember the terrible 1996 film version of The Phantom the audience will all sigh "Billy Zane" in unison.

--Nerds may not ask a lot of questions following a presentation about orchids or a presentation about "attunement," but they will ask A LOT of fucking questions after a presentation about comic books.


That Katlyn Conroy sure is prolific. Her new solo project, La Guerre, makes its debut tomorrow night (Dec. 16) at the Record Bar in KC at 10:00 (preceding sets by the Fullbloods and Hidden Pictures). You should probably go.

Chip: "I think 'La Guerre' is French for sex, isn't it? And I've heard that Katlyn will be dressed as a French chanteuse. And why do I know the word chanteuse?"

Check out the La Guerre Tumblr site over here

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Nerd Nite Is Back for Round Two / Indie Flick Pick of the Week: Julia Leigh's Sleeping Beauty

Readers, we had a good time at the first Nerd Nite last month and we're ready for Round 2. The line-up looks like this.

Paphiopedilum Dreams: Confessions of an Orchid Freak by Brian Donovan

Attunement- 4 Steps Toward Making A Connection by Sam Bunnyfield

Superheroes as Symbols of Justice by Blake Wilson

Our initial reactions:

What's a Paphiopedilum?

We know Sam Bunnyfield and she's cool as hell.

The third title seems kind of obvious.

Look for us in the back taking notes (drunkenly).


Our indie flick pick of the week is Julia Leigh's Sleeping Beauty, which is currently in theaters (not near us) and OnDemand. It makes for a good unsexy, sex flick to tide you over until the Midwest finally opens McQueen's Shame and Cronenberg's A Dangerous Method in late January.

Look at this excerpt from The Guardian's review:

"In a way, Sleeping Beauty is a very unmodern film, a throwback to the artporn and chateau-erotica of the 1970s, epitomised by the delirious, and once much-banned fantasies of Walerian Borowczyk: Immoral Tales and The Beast... Yet Leigh carries off her semi-surreal fantasy, mostly, just by keeping it utterly deadpan. She audaciously tests her audience's patience, quite a bit, by preceding one sex scene with an extended dialogue about the Austrian author Ingeborg Bachmann. This scene has caused many to groan, and yet it is all part of Leigh's elegant, asymmetric style."

Chip: "Will this film give me a boner, or is it just some artsy feminist tract?"

Chip, the answer is yes to both.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

LJ-World Rant of the Week / Bizarre "Best of the Year" Choice of the Week: Fast Five

Our favorite editorial this week comes from a reader who's finally had just about enough of...FDR.

"The [Pearl Harbor] bombing, of course, precipitated World War II and allowed one of our most incompetent Presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, to assume a larger role in history than he deserved...His now-famous “Day of Infamy” speech should have included a mea culpa for this hubristic putridity...Roosevelt, who would die in a room with his mistress — not his wife — should be relegated to the lower tier of U.S. presidents, a rather despicable creature for whom Hell no doubt would open wide its gates."

Chip: "This seems like a cogent argument, but I tend to feel that the limited space of the LJ-World editorial section should be devoted to more contemporary or local anti-liberal screeds."

The letter also elicited this great rejoinder from Cato_the_elder:

"No FDR apologists out there to respond to a very provocative letter impugning the integrity and reputation of a liberal Democrat icon? Too early in the morning, or have all of the juvenile leftists who post on this forum never heard of FDR?"


We continue scouring Best of the Year lists and our favorite bizarre inclusion this year (thus far) comes from TIME's Richard Corliss, who lists Vin Diesel's Fast Five in his tenth slot with this explanation:

"The dialogue, characterizations and acting are irrelevant to the success of this first great film of the post-human era. As if recalling the epochal heist in 1903′s The Great Train Robbery and, a decade later, the auto carnage of Mack Sennett’s Keystone Kops, director Justin Lin goes back to basics with another train robbery and vehicular violence in police rides — souped up and stripped down like stock cars in a death race — on the streets of Rio. A carnival of roguish heroes and pretty girls, car chases and cliffhangers, Fast Five is as much a tribute as The Artist or Hugo to the cinema’s primal thrills."

Post-human era, eh? We're pretty sure that most films (including this one) still contain humans: isn't Vin Diesel technically a human?

Chip: "When I saw The Artist, the sound and color in the theater was off almost the entire time."

Richard: "The Artist is a silent film in black and white, Chip."

Chip: "That can't be right, can it?"

Monday, December 12, 2011

SantaCon is Coming (Back) To Town / Missed Connection of the Week From Aladdin's Cafe

Last year marked Larryville's first experience with SantaCon, a nationwide gathering of bar-hopping Santas.

This Saturday the event returns. Hopefully the weather is fit for frolicking, so locate a Santa suit and meet up with the participants at 2:00 at the Sandbar.

But will there be any naked Santas of the sort that assembled in San Francisco this past Saturday attempting to set a record for "largest gathering of naked Santas?" We sure hope so. You can watch a short video of the naked Santa gathering here via Buzzfeed (warning: video contains naked Santas) and you can get the full scoop on the Lawrence SantaCon over here .

And here's a patio full of Sandbar Santas at last year's event. How many can you recognize?


Here's a new Larryville Missed Connection from Aladdin's. Somehow we have a feeling this gentleman is not going to get a call from the lady in question, but maybe we're wrong and she's totally into orgies with obnoxious dudes.

"You were wearing a black shirt and jeans. I can't stop thinking about your amazing rack (D cups?). I wrote my phone number on the bill, but you must have lost it since you never called me. I thought we had real chemistry. You giggled when I tried to pronounce Gyro as JI-ROH...I am open to just one on one sex or an orgy with your hot friends (I mean you're hot, so you have hot friends right?). Sorry, no long term relationship, I'm a playa ya know?"

Sunday, December 11, 2011

What We Missed On Stop Day Eve / Weekend Multiplex Guide: David Gordon Green's The Sitter

Readers, we had a rollicking time at Noise for Toys last night. Chip almost won the ugly sweater contest (inadvertently, as usual) and Hawley Shoffner embraced her inner sex symbol and rock star with a kick-ass opening set. Head over to I Heart Local Music for a full gallery of shots such as this from last night's proceedings:

But let's turn our attention today not to pictures of bands but to pictures of drunken scholars taking a well-deserved study break on Stop Day Eve. Luckily, the KU Nights site gives us an important glimpse into this culture.

First is this pic from the Miss Phoggy Dog contest photo gallery (which includes not a single shot of the actual Miss Phoggy Dog contest):

Meanwhile, over at Saint's, this happened (Free PBR for whoever comes up with the funniest caption to explain what's going on in the photo).

And at Abe and Jake's, things got a little sexy (Chip: "When I was young and 'going steady,' we used to walk around with our hands in each other's back pockets. These days, it's right down the front of the pants. Certainly it's a change for the better.").


Readers, it's awards season, and that means each week brings a new film looking for Oscar gold, such as...Jonah Hill in The Sitter, this weekend's raunchy babysitter comedy from (once well-respected) David Gordon Green.

NY Mag says: "The opening scene has [Hill] giving epic head to a furiously climaxing Ari Graynor...".

Chip: "The last great film I saw that began with a scene of cunnilingus was Sam Mendes' Away We Go. And the last great film I saw before that which began with a scene of cunnilingus was probably Twat Lickers 3, which I picked up on a whim from Miracle Video without even having seen the first two films in the trilogy. It was quite good."

Richard: "Seriously, is David Gordon Green ever going to make another REAL film? Did anyone actually make it to the end of Your Highness?"

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Scenester Pick and Worthy Cause of the Day: Noise for Toys at Bottleneck

Each year around this time, the Noise Boys of The Noise FM roll into town from Chicago, bringing rock and roll to hip boys and girls and raising money to make sure tots have toys (all proceeds go to Douglas County Toys for Tots). But don't think the Boys have forgotten their humble roots in Fort Scott, Kansas, where they spent their teenage years with none other than Chip himself, doing whatever it is young boys do in Fort Scott (chasing farmer's daughters around the hayloft, probably).

Also on tonight's bill is Cowboy Indian Bear, who have been making A LOT of noise recently, opening for Florence and the Machine in KC and recording a Daytrotter session complete with the typically nutty Daytrotter description full of lines such as this: "The new heart would act as potting soil and tender loving care to bring something shiny and sunnier to this area of such ugly and cold topography."

Rounding out the line-up will be KC's Making Movies (we're gonna shake our asses, Latin-style!), Team Bear Club (hijinks), and Hawley Shoffner ("Adorkable!"*), whom you may remember from the era when Larryville still had a Style Scout column (here is Hawley's Scout ).

*Chip is responsible for the above obnoxious use of the word "Adorkable," a Zooey Deschanel/ New Girl reference. He watches with a faithful Zooey-boner each week even though it's 100% dreadful.

Doors at 8:00. Show at 8:30.

Friday, December 9, 2011

We Welcome New KU Football Coach Charlie Weis / Scenester Pick of the Day: Paradise Cookbook Party / Sexy Pick of the Day: Winter Wonderland at R Bar

The KU Athletics Department has been severely lacking in big ol' boys since the departures of Lew Perkins and Mark Mangino but all that changed yesterday when new KU football coach Charlie Weis flew into town.

Chip: "Seriously, there is NO way that man fit in that teensy little airplane."

But let's get beyond the weight jokes and turn to the LJ-World talkbackers for some trenchant sports analysis regarding the new hire, a man who knows his way around not only BCS Bowls but Super Bowls.

thepianoman says: "I say we take this new coach out and hit up the buffett at the Habitachi Grill over by Jason's Deli!"

520dude says: "Is he not doing anymore Mike and Molly shows?"

And hawkster007says: "Weis knew that Kansas' topography would support his frame because of Mangino's prior tour of duty here."

So, is ANYBODY talking about his coaching capabilities?

drgnslayr says: "It feels like we are a restaurant hiring a waitress who seems very qualified, but has worked at 30 or 40 other restaurants in the past 5 years. The formula for success is right next door in Manhattan. KSU was a zilch in football (pretty much like us) and built a program with a guy who put his roots in Manhattan.
Do any of you really think Weis will be here in 5 years? Until I read something different, my first impression is we just hired a very qualified waitress."

And here's another photo that looks like an outtake from Scorsese's Goodfellas:


You can't talk to an aging scenester in this town for more than 10 minutes without at least one reference to Paradise Cafe. So we assume that tonight's Paradise Cafe and Bakery Cookbook release party and book-signing will draw a nice crowd to The Raven (5:00-7:00). If you take a walk early tomorrow in East Lawrence, expect to smell a lot of the Paradise's breakfast enchiladas cooking.

Get the full scoop from The Raven's site .


But maybe you're looking for something a little sexier, something that skews to a younger demographic. We recommend tonight's Winter Wonderland event at R-Bar (former Jet Lag) which features a "Sexy Santa Helpers" costume contest that can land you a trip to Mexico. The very idea of it is giving us a major Christmas boner the likes of which we haven't experienced since Alison Brie's Christmas song on last night's episode of Community (which geeks across the land are masturbating to even as we speak: you know that it's true.). Please watch said video on YouTube right here if you have somehow not seen it yet.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

We Watch the Naked Lola Episode of Work of Art / Scenester Pick of the Day: Hidden Pictures and Minden at Tap Room

Readers, we watch Bravo's Work of Art regularly anyway, but we watched more closely than ever last night, since this "Lola gets naked" episode had been heavily promoted for weeks, keeping Chip in a state of constant agitation. And did it live up to his expectations? Yes. In fact, he added it to his list of "most erotic TV moments" alongside "Audrey and the cherry stem on Twin Peaks" and "Quinton's waitress appears on The Bachelor."

Here's a look at Lola's work of art, which consisted of a naked photo of herself with brutally honest "secrets" superimposed over the top. Get it? The idea of "baring all" has a double meaning here. Naturally, her piece was one of the winners. (sorry for the small pic, dirty-minded readers, but go watch the episode).

The AV-Club raises some interesting points about televised nudity in their review:

"As with Kymia early in the season, Lola’s actual breasts threaten to send society into a Caligula-esque spiral of decadence and must be censored, but life-size photographs of her breasts are A-OK. I guess that once the female form has been processed through TWO different layers of conglomerate-sanctioned mediation, it is suitable for viewing by America. Quite a culture we got here!"

Indeed, during the actual photo-shoot, Lola's "naughty parts are obscured in the TV image by superimposed flesh-colored shapes—a post-production technique far weirder than the traditional pixelation route" (AV-Club).

Chip: "Weirder, yes. Better, definitely."

Read the full AV-Club review over here .


It's Stop Day Eve in Larryville, and that means pure debauchery, but if you're like us you're a little too old too partake in the best of it (we'll just peruse the KU Nights website instead to see what we missed). The best bet for scenesters this evening is to check out our adorable buddies in Hidden Pictures at the Tap Room. They're joined by Minden who, according to HP's Facebook page, "will be covering the new Mariah Carey Christmas album." That's probably not true. But expect plenty of surprises and catchy pop tunes.

Go to HP's Bandcamp and get the new song "Tangerine," along with a cover of the Cranberries' "Dreams."

And make sure to get Minden's new EP "Gold Standard" over here and watch the very funny title video, Warning: the video contains powerful imagery such as this:

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

KU vs Porn / Plus: Checking in With Seapony (ex-Transmittens)

When Chip heard the news yesterday (via this Channel 6 story ) that KU was buying up pornography websites, he got very excited. He was bummed to learn, however, that the university was simply buying Dot XXX websites that "contained its own trademarks" and did not plan on actually using those sites.

Chip: "In today's porno-centric culture, why not embrace the revenue that a site with a name like, for instance, "KU Chi Omega Fountain Fucking" could generate? Loyalty to the KU brand runs deep, even among perverts. Maybe even especially among perverts."


We haven't checked in with Danny and Jen from the Transmittens in far too long, but their new project Seapony, out in Seattle, is still going strong. The debut album, Go With Me, even got reviewed by Pitchfork in May, although it received only a middling 5.3 (making us shake our sparklemitten-covered fists in mild fury!):

"If your anorak pockets are stuffed with indie pop show flyers, or you are a daily reader of Skatterbrain, Go With Me has a place in your record collection. But until they can really stand out from the crowd, Seapony just come across as garden-variety twee."

And a little research reveals they have a new song called "Sailing" on Bandcamp:

"Sailing" pushes the Seapony sound into new territory, featuring xylophone, syncopated hand-claps, and acoustic guitar, all layered over a wash of memorable guitar melodies."

We find it adorable! Go listen to it here .

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

We Check In With Pitchfork to See If It's Still Okay to Like The Black Keys

As scenesters, we always feel like we should turn against a band once they achieve the level of fame The Black Keys have reached in recent years (they were on SNL, for goodness sake!). But the truth is that we still dig them, perhaps primarily because we saw one of their blistering early career gigs at the Replay for three bucks and we can forever lord that little bit of scenester-knowledge over the heads of any recent fans.

But let's take a look at Pitchfork's review of their new album, El Camino, which is out today.

The review first offers a terrific assessment of the band's full career, including this description of the debut: "...The Big Come Up emerged in 2002 and offered a walking rockist orgasm: two gawky white dudes from Akron, Ohio, drums and surly guitar and burning-oatmeal-mouthed yawps of not terribly articulate romantic frustration, all powering cartoonishly virile garage-blues jams of prison-phone-call fidelity and sentiment. Ridiculous and kind of awesome. (This assumes racially uneasy cultural appropriation is no longer an issue for you, but if so, feel free to evoke the Blueshammer scene in the Ghost World movie and the hell with it.)."

Richard: "Believe me, I evoke the Blueshammer scene in Ghost World every chance I getn during debates about 'uneasy cultural appropriation.' "

And the new album itself. We're sold simply on this description of a single song: ""Gold on the Ceiling" is just filthy, like George Thorogood scoring porn, all raunchy organ and licentious handclaps and chorus help from ladies attempting to sound like the sorts of ladies Steely Dan loved to write songs about."

Chip: "I have a feeling this song is going to give me a boner."

Final verdict from Pitchfork is 7.4: "...their best and (not coincidentally) goofiest album, a veritable frat-worthy "Pimp 'n' Ho" party in which T. Rex has somehow been tricked into serving as house band."

Read the full Pitchfork review here .

Also, holy shit, look at these photos from The Black Keys and The Hefners at the Replay circa 2003 over here .

Monday, December 5, 2011

The East Side vs. Doug Compton / Hanging Dong on the Big Screen

An important local showdown is slated for tomorrow, when the City Fathers will consider plans for the new six-story hotel/apartment building next to the Arts Center. The Percolator folks are hard at work on protest signs that read "Please don't take our sunshine away." But will this be enough to stop the march of "progress?" Let's see what the talkbackers are saying.

Consumer1 says: "Look where the shadow falls this time of year??? There is almost no shadow at all, and in the summer time they should wecome the shadow from the intense evening summer sun. What a bunch of crybabies!! Grow a pair!!"

Deec counters with a Compton-attack (complete with a fantastic zebra reference): "Compton rarely if ever has built a project without taxpayer subsidies. His company is a predatory landlord. He had an unoccupied house that was within the environs of a historic structure that he didn't want to build around mysteriously burn to the ground. He buys up buildings and lets them deteriorate for years, then asks for taxpayer funds to fix them up. A zebra he owned attacked an employee. That's for starters."

And beatnik says: "we obviously don't care about preserving historic downtown except as a growth area so why don't we kill 2 birds with one stone and build the hotel/apartment building on top of the masonic temple?"

Chip: "Great minds think alike, Beatnik!

Eastsiders, If you don't support this plan, Compton might sic his vicious zebra on you!


If you've watched more than a few raunchy bromances in recent years you've no doubt noted the number of stars "hanging dong" for laughs. The censors are cool with it. But to go full-frontal in the context of a searing indie-drama about sex addiction will earn you an NC-17 and a lot of attention. Check out this description of Michael Fassbender's member in this AICN review of Shame:

"Now I don’t know if Fassbender was rocking a stunt cock or what, but let’s just say that my reaction to him in his fully uncensored glory was approximately that of Tom Hanks in BACHELOR PARTY upon seeing “Nick The Dick”: reluctant amazement, giving way to awe. As I straight man, I am here to tell you that this thing in its fulsome magnificence is the kind of talisman that can unite a divided nation, and has such power that it will lift us out of our economic malaise. Audiences will be blown right past revulsion or defensiveness into a state of wonder formerly achievable only by meditation or reflecting upon the cosmos. And that’s the real reason SHAME can’t be anything less than NC-17. Its best supporting actor would end up on the cutting room floor."

Chip: "All this is well and good, but will I see Carey Mulligan naked or won't I?"

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Wilco and Nick Lowe at the Uptown Theater in KC: Peace, Love, Understanding, Weed, and Scorching Rock and Roll

Scenesters, you can say what you will about Wilco: that they haven't been truly great since A Ghost is Born, that the last three albums sometimes feel a bit interchangeable, that they've embraced their jammy tendencies a little too much in the live show. And there are elements of truth in all of those oft-delivered critiques. But all that melts away (along with your face) in the midst of a truly monstrous Nels Cline guitar solo like the one at the end of "Art of Almost," which arrived two songs into last night's set and more than made up for the five minutes of unecessary drone at the end of the first song and the seizure-inducing light show accompanying "Almost." You snarky scenesters can throw around the term "dad rock" all you want but it's VERY unlikely your dads can rock like motherfucking Nels Cline.

Guitar wizardry aside, however, at the center of Wilco is the lyrics, which is what drew us to them from their very first album (AM is far better than anyone gives it credit for, and "Box Full of Letters" was a set highlight last night). Here are a few lines that stuck in our ears during last night's set:

"I dreamed about killing you again last night...and it felt all right to me." ("Via Chicago.").

"Oh, distance has no way...of making love...understandable." ("Radio Cure.").

"His goal in life was to be an echo." ("Hummingbird").

When we first listened to Wilco's sophomore album Being There, way back in 1996, we already knew they were evolving into something (dare we say) important, but it never occurred to us that a song like "Misunderstood" might become a singalong anthem for sold-out crowds fifteen years down the line with its cynical shout-a-long final lines: "I'd like to thank you all for nothing at all." But we know that Tweedy is very thankful his fans have been so devoted for so long (look no further than his good-humored but obviously pissed-off comments last night about some sort of ticket snafu that resulted in those who waited the longest in the rain not necessarily being able to stand the closest).

And what about Nick Lowe? Looking dapper and dressed in black (below that shock of white hair), he regaled us with a short set that included a Rockpile song, a cover of his pal Elvis Costello's "Alison," and, of course, the song that Costello made legendary: "(What's So Funny Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding." Generally, he charmed everyone's pants off for about half an hour (except for maybe the dude behind us, who spent most of Lowe's set telling a rather loud anecdote about pajamas and gerbils). At the end of the evening, Tweedy referred to Lowe as "our hero" and brought him back out for the night's final song, with the two swapping lyrics on "Cruel To Be Kind."

"Do you still love rock and roll?" Tweedy asks, in "Misunderstood." We sure do, Wilco.

Random observations:

KC brought out its finest weed for the elegant Uptown Theater. This stuff smelled far superior to that skunky shit you all are always smoking outdoors at the Crossroads.

Our personal set highlight was the one-two hootenany punch of Tupelo's "New Madrid" followed up by "Someday Soon," a little gem from Being There.

Readers, do you realize that, if you purchased four "large" beers at this show, you spent the same amount of money you spent on your concert ticket? Ten bucks for a beer? We certainly weren't in Larryville anymore! So we drank "small" beers out of what appeared to be a thimble and still spent too much.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Cheap Beer: Drink It and Listen To It

Sure, every night is cheap beer night in Larryville, but tonight it's official: Cheap Beer, the debut vinyl compilation from Replay Records, will be available at the Jackpot for ten bucks (which also scores you a Jackpot rock show tonight, a Love Garden rock show tomorrow evening, and a Replay rock show tomorrow night). We recommend carrying the record around for the rest of the weekend to prove that you are hip.

Will we be in attendance? Unlikely, since tonight also brings the coolest Christmas party of the year at Free State Glass Company. Glassblowing, Free State beer, bands, dancing, and smoked meats.


And we'll leave you today with this picture of former KU basketball star Scot Pollard trying on some red heels. (The annual Red Shoe calendar is available starting today).

Thursday, December 1, 2011

KU Basketball Condom Art / KC First Fridays Art / Unhip But Titillating Local Website of the Week: KU Nights

Readers, we hope you stopped by campus to check out the Latexhibition, an exhibit for World AIDS Day that features some giant condoms with a few basketball players' heads attached to them along with the slogan (not visible below) "Keep Your Head in the Game." But is Taylor, with his many recent sloppy turnovers, really the best spokesmodel for safe sex? We're not so sure.

If you prefer your art to be a little cuter than a giant Elijah Johnson johnson, you might want to head to KC tomorrow for MicDanDanLand during First Fridays. It's a multi-artist opening at FOKL featuring Micah Buzan, Daniel Forth, and the prolific Danny Joe Gibson (who single-handedly united the divided local scene with his recent three-month poster exhibit). There's live music at 9:00.


If you're like us, you enjoy looking at pictures of locals while they are partying. But's Party Pics don't always appear regularly, plus it gets boring looking at the same old scenesters. So lately we've found ourselves turning to the KU Nights site , where Chip has been delighted to discover numerous photo galleries from events that we are far too old to witness ourselves, such as Ladies Night at Quinton's, which apparently looks like this:

Wait. Wait. It gets better.

And then it gets even better still. Chip has moved this site to the top of his bookmarks.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Missed Connection of the Week: A Dirty Dillons Reverie / We Begin Studying "Best of the Year" Lists

Dirty Dillons is nothing but a pile of rubble these days, but the sweet memories remain, as witnessed in this romantic recent Missed Connection from Craigslist:

"we used to meet up at the Dillons on Mass St a couple years ago, and drive to the park and suck each other off. hit me up if you're still around."

But where should they meet now?

Chip: "There was definitely something about Dirty Dillons that made people horny. I think it was the desperation. I almost masturbated once in Aisle 2."


It's almost December and that means it's time for us to start constantly perusing "Best of the Year" lists to make sure we didn't miss anything hip this year. PopMatters' already has their list up and "the best rock song of the year," they say, is "We Bros" by Manchester's Wu Lyf.

"Here’s a fun party game: drop the needle on WU LYF’s debut record, Go Tell Fire to the Mountain, and take a drink every time you understand something gravel-throated frontman Ellery Roberts says. Chances are you’ll end up stone cold sober by the time album closer “Heavy Pop” fades away."

We're not sure why ending up stone-cold sober is a fun party game, but we do like song titles such as "Such a Sad Puppy Dog."

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tuesday Scenester Picks: Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin at Wonder Fair and Horror Remix at Bottleneck

Let's take a (brief) break from talking about #heblowsalot and concentrate on what to do in Larryville tonight.

With the Jackpot scenester era nearing an end, where should one go for an $8 rock show? How about Wonder Fair? They stake their claim as a musical contender tonight with a show by Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin (who have played the Jackpot on numerous occasions). Sure, a few of you will miss the full bar at the Jackpot, but most of you only drink PBR anyway and, let's not kid ourselves, both the sightlines and likely the sound will be better in the intimate confines of Wonder Fair. Ghosty opens the show at 8:30.

Tonight's other event of note is the Thanksgiving-themed edition of Horror Remix at the Bottleneck. Why is it happening AFTER Thankgiving? Who cares? Any time is a good time for "2 hours of turkey terror," as far as we're concerned, and the website information on tonight's offering has already given Chip a boner:

"SHADOW WOODS randomly places leftover edits (or trimmings) from nude scenes already in the film and redistributes them out of context to the story’s timeline... it’s just about the cheapest thing I’ve ever seen. And I love cheap, but this was obviously not the director’s decision, just a butcher job by a producer trying to make a boob quota."

Chip: "Why doesn't EVERY cheap horror film employ this technique? Most horror films today don't even seem to have a boob quota."

And is another of tonight's films seriously about a giant killer turkey who drinks the blood of drug addicts? This poster would suggest so:

Monday, November 28, 2011

Nice Guys Finish Last (And $6 Million Richer): We Say Goodbye To Turner Gill / "He Blows a Lot," Part II: The Ballad of EmmaKate988

Readers, college football is a business and, if you lose enough games, you're eventually going to get sacked, no matter if you are a big fat bully or an upstanding Christian gentleman. So we bid Turner Gill farewell today and hope his players immediately get drunk, open Twitter accounts, and have sex after 10:00 pm.

But what will the future of KU football hold? We've got our fingers crossed for former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, who's currrently suing ESPN and is prone to making offensive comments about his players' "fat little girlfriends." Sure, he'll no doubt get into trouble and have to be fired within a couple years as well, but at least it will be a fun ride while it lasts. We might even win a few games.

Here's Gill preparing to thumb a ride on the private jet he can purchase with his $6 million dollar buy-out:


Local progressives have been in desperate need of a new Kansas folk hero, and teen-tweeter Emma Sullivan is proving just the ticket after last week's Brownback/#heblowsalot controversy. Word spread last night that Sullivan would NOT be writing the school-mandated apology letter to the Governor, assuring us all that certain rights (namely, the right to tell each other via Twitter who blows a lot) are worth protecting no matter the consequences.

Today the governor's office issued a statement of apology for his staff's over-reaction (an act of damage control, no doubt), which included this statement: "Freedom of speech is among our most treasured freedoms."

But we personally won't be satisfied until he issues a statement admitting that he does blow. A lot.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

"He Blows a Lot": The Governor Brownback Story / Documentary Pick of the Day / Courtneybelle Watches Breaking Dawn, Part One

Readers, if we learned one thing during Reconciliation Week, it's that one shouldn't tweet silly things about the governor during Reconciliation Week or you'll be made to write a letter of apology.

During a Statehouse Field Trip for the Youth in Government program, a KC teenager fired off the following tweet:

“Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”

Sure, the tweet may have been untrue in its specifics (she didn't really say this in person to the gov) but it's certainly very true in a larger sense (He does blow. A lot.). The governor's office flagged the tweet and passed it along to the Youth in Government program who passed it along to the school whose principal ordered her to write an apology. Forced "reconciliation" is so hip right now!

Here's the gov drinking some beers, perhaps to celebrate another successful reconciliation:


Whether you're a hipster or a hippie, you've no doubt had more than a few good times with Split Lip Rayfield during your time in Larryville, so you should probably see the new documentary Never Make It Home at Liberty Hall tonight at 7:30. It chronicles the band's final tour with Kirk. Check out the official website here


Since our intrepid field reporter Courtneybelle decided to camp out four hours early to see the new Twilight film, we asked her to document the madness for us. Here's the result, which becomes a rather profound inquiry into the idea of "vampire masturbation." Enjoy.

Breaking Dawn Part 1

Look, we know these movies are bad and that teenage abstinence is folly as well as a statistical unlikelihood. That’s not the point. There are many reasons highly functioning, basically rational American females will wait in line anywhere from 4 to 19 hours to see the worst acting of the year. Of course, we have to be there at midnight or the whole saccharine fairy tale will turn into a pumpkin latte. It’s clearly just porn for girls. You don’t justify men’s porn, so we shouldn’t have to justify ours. While you roll your eyes at our vacuous choice of fare, remember that Breaking Dawn made 139.5 million in two days. Beat that, Ron Jeremy!

With that defense in mind I will say that being at Southwind at 9 a.m. (4 hours before it's open) is top-level crazy (although, no one looks askance at Star Wars fans doing the same or worse). The next craziest women arrived at 1:30 p.m., replete with matching hoodies, T-shirts, and jewelry. Naturally they brought the books, since you never do know when a girl fight may break out over some minute detail of the story. A couple of women were having a very serious discussion about which names from the books were going to be used to name a litter of puppies. It also came out that these two ladies had made a pilgrimage to Forks, Washington, the setting of the film's improbable tales. An industry which caters to droves of romance-starved women is mounting there. Moreover, I learned that Forks has a parade in honor of Bella's fictitious birthday and tourists can get "tribal elders" to spin their yarns.

Even though I dig the books (and tolerate the movies), there’s always been one liberty taken with vampire canon that is unforgivable. VAMPIRES DON’T HAVE SWIMMERS! Sure, they can wander in the day. There’s precedence for that. Vampires that don’t prey on humans? - fine. Sparkles? - whatever. Corpses with functioning sperm is out of the question. That leaves the reader thinking about vampire masturbation. That is an image I don’t need. And it rather takes the sheen off the fun of living forever, don’t you think? Imagine our favorite tragically romantic monsters, Dracula, Lestat, Nosferatu, furtively disposing of ejaculates into a tube sock? I’m not having it.

Look people, this Twilight thing is real and inescapable, like Top Gun, Titanic, and women in bikinis with machine guns. The top two baby names of last year were Jacob and Isabella. The only way to sleep after learning that little factoid is to embrace the madness. I hear a lot of bitching about Stephanie Meyer’s "heteronormative vampires". I think we're giving the author more credit for insidious, right-wing messages than she deserves. Mormons wank too! It Hasn't occurred to anyone that Stephanie Meyer just wanted a nice, clean, teen menage a trois fantasy to toss off to?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Thanksgiving Break / Late Night Sports Event of the Week

Readers, we're taking the week off from blogging, but we're reasonably confident you can find enough on-line porn and/or pictures of cute fuzzy animals to entertain you in the meantime.

Also, don't forget to hit the bars tonight for KU's 11:00 tip-off! It's a good chance to close the bars down on a Monday.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

LJ-World Rant of the Week

We love the continuing series of LJ-World articles about Doug Compton "stealing the sun" with his seven-story building across from the Pig and the potential six-story hotel complex likely to go up just across from it.

Here's a furious LJ-World talkbacker named Swan_Diver considering the implications of the new building:

"This proposed monstrosity represents nothing less than the on-going rape of an important national historic site, related to the epic conflict of the American Civil War. The building has absolutely nothing to offer this cultural legacy, which has been designed for a vacuum. Its bought-and-paid-for 'architects' understand that they can vulgarly thumb their noses at Lawrence's history and heritage, it's toothless Historic Resources Commission, powerless and ineffective Historic Resources 'Coordinator,' and so-called 'Downtown Design Guidelines.'

Dozens of men, some as young as teens, died at the hands of the mass-murderers from Jackson County, Missouri, on the morning of the Lawrence Massacre of August, 1863 -- in the two-hundred yards surrounding this site. This irrelevant mass of thoughtless hubris will serve only to desecrate their sacrifices, and further erase the physical context of the era in which this community was born.

Furthermore -- you definitely won't see see such development proposals for the west side of downtown, along Vermont. These new high-rises will be exclusively reserved for Lawrence's east side, where the race and social and economic class of its residents can continue to be denigrated and ignored by wholly-unrepresentative officials seated at the poorly-designed and outmoded City Hall at 6th and Massachusetts."

Chip: Swan_Diver must not realize that this building is slated to have a rooftop pool. It's imperative that Larryville be able to compete with KC's rooftop pool at The Jones, a place where, according to my best research, every day looks like this:

Saturday, November 19, 2011

We Celebrate Brownback's "Reconciliation Week" / Required Reading: "The Hipsterfication of America"

Readers, we hope you are aware that Governor Brownback issued a proclamation on Thursday that the coming week should be known as "Reconciliation Week":

“Reconciliation involves owning the past and looking forward to the future. As Mahatma Gandhi said: ‘Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' I urge all Kansans to contact and attempt to reconcile with anyone with whom they are estranged by harsh feelings or anger."

So call up your scenester friends and apologize for spilling PBR on them during the 11/11/11 festivities and call up Chip and forgive him for his many embarrassing and inopportune boners. But will you forgive the Governor himself for his many crimes against Kansas and art? Personally we won't go that far.


A hip friend sent us this NPR piece yesterday called "The Hipsterfication of America." Do you agree with this assertion?

"You might think that as hipsterism ripples out, in concentric (and eccentric) circles farther and farther from its big-city epicenters, the ultra-coolitude would lose its authenticity, Furia says, "but the opposite may be true. Cities are known for setting trends; hipsterism is about anti-trends. It sounds funny, but hipsters in Omaha may actually be cooler than hipsters in New York City — everyone knows about New York City."

We don't trust any piece about the idea of "hip" unless it quotes John Leland, who wrote Hip: The History. Luckily, this piece contains a choice quote from Leland:

"I like to believe there's something smarter lurking within our romance with hip ... an idea of enlightenment and awareness."

Isn't it pretty to think so?*

[Free PBR for the first person to name the literary reference of our last sentence.]

Friday, November 18, 2011

Weekend Guide: Sparkly Vampires, Sparkly Singers, Royal Bangs and Bear Hands

If you're a tweenage girl, a vampire freak, or have a boner for Kristen Stewart (Chip: "Guilty!"), the movie of the weekend is of course The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-- Part I (which has been divided, Harry Potter-style, into two parts to gauge as much money out of you as possible).

In a surprisingly un-scathing review, the AV Club asserts: "In directing these final films, Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) has created something that’s half shameless wedding fantasia and half David Cronenberg-worthy body horror."

Richard: "I'm literally crying right now to see Cronenberg's name invoked in connection to these films."

But how do the snarky AV-Club talkbackers feel:

bukaball says: "My wife guilted me into watching the first one. I didn't even need to ask for the blowjob, that's how bad she felt."


If you're looking for an early excuse to booze it up tonight (7:00-9:00), we recommmend you stop by the Jazzhaus (that's right: the Jazzhaus!) and listen to KC's Li'l Rachel belt out some blues with the Rhythm Busters. She's quite popular in Europe, she dresses in sparkly dresses, and you might remember her from such local booze-soaked evening as the Free State Glass Christmas party from a couple years ago. We'll be on the scene.


And of course you'll want to spend as much time as possible at the Jackpot in the next few weeks before it transitions into...something else. Saturday offers two Pitchfork-approved bands: Royal Bangs and Bear Hands. The latter is pictured below. The dude is wearing a shirt with the Morton's salt logo! That's got to be hip, right?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Work of Art Review: The Tiger Penis Episode / NachoTron 3000 / Local Theatre Pick of the Week: Brecht Meets Miller

We've been huge fans of Work of Art since the beginning, and last night's episode was one of the strongest yet, with our favorite artist of the season, The Sucklord, spray-painting nipples on China Chow's dress and this year's resident sexpot, Lola, creating a giant street mural of a group of orgiastic tigers with "striped tiger dicks" in which passers-by could paste more tiger-boners to the piece, creating an important communal boner-bonding moment.

Chip: "How that piece did not win is a mystery I'll never understand."

The AV-Club review seems to agree: "You can create serious art with tiger penises...this is a phallic episode of Work Of Art, and thus a kind of delightful one for those of us who appreciate the show’s willingness to engage in discourses not often seen within other reality programming. Which, yes, in this case means penises."

If you're not engaging in these discourses every week, you're missing out!


Readers, we hate Missouri more than ever right now due to their decision to jump ship and head to the SEC, and we were fully prepared to swear off this year's Border Showdown altogether until we heard about the Nachotron 3000:

"Fans are invited to experience NachoTron 3000, the world's first interactive, competitive nacho-making machine created by “scientists” to analyze how human football fandom correlates to delicious nacho toppings. Before the Jayhawks and Tigers go head-to-head on the gridiron, their fans will compete in a test of wits and brute athleticism off the field as they throw footballs at close-range targets in hopes of winning nacho toppings for their Mission tortilla chips and scoring points for their beloved team."

And look at this quote, which we swear to you is not from The Onion but is indeed real:

“The Border Showdown represents the perfect blend of competitive sportsmanship and ravenous fans that NachoTron 3000 was made for,” explained Pete Thornfield, Director at Mission Foods, the company who funded the NachoTron research. “Fans should come hungry, both for their team to win and for nachos."

Read more here and behold the Nachotron 3000:


Finally, are you excited about KU University Theatre's experimental Brechtian interpretation of Arthur Miller's American classic All My Sons, which runs through Sunday:

Richard: "Yes. Look for me during intermission expounding on Brecht's use of 'the alienation effect.' If I don't leave the theatre completely alienated, I'm asking for my money back."

Chip: "That would probably be amusing if I knew who Brecht was. Also, based on the official trailer for the performance, it's going to be fucking hilarious. But I didn't realize it was a comedy?"

Watch the trailer on YouTube here

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Local Music Compilation of the Winter: Replay Records' Cheap Beer

Readers, after all the distressing news about the Jackpot sale this week, we need a hip event to anticipate, ideally one that is occurring at the Jackpot during its final days of scenester glory.

Luckily, we've found just the event.

On Friday Dec. 2, ten bucks will grant you the following: admission into the Jackpot's Replay Records release party featuring numerous bands from the debut compilation; a free copy of said compilation album (featuring a kick-ass cover by Kenneth Kupfer); and free entry into the following night's Replay show featuring many more of those bands. Get the full scoop on the bands here .

Now check out the cover. The AJAX graffiti is an especially nice touch.

Chip: "I think the serpent symbolizes how the Replay is a den of iniquity."

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Twitter-Tone Poem to Celebrate the End of the Jackpot Scenester Era / Required Reading of the Week: Hipsters and Bobos

It's been too long since we assembled one of our Twitter poems for your reading pleasure, but the sale of the Jackpot seemed a perfect time to engage in a little scenester nostalgia and ask our Twitter army to send us your #favoritejackpotmoments. So here it is: a poem assembled from your tweets (with minor edits and at least one line presented totally out of context for humorous artistic purposes and a few of our own ideas tossed in for good measure). Enjoy!

double-fisting PBR band-beer pitchers the time I got to open for bill Callahan!
drunk metal tom climbing on the stage and karl of the donkey show throwing him off skidding in a puddle of beer
Watching KU win the championship with a packed house.
playing with delta saints and spirit is the spirit.
getting obliterated in the basement then chasing down a punk kid in the alley that stole a mandolin
getting drunk and ignoring the legendary arcade fire show there! #crowdsmakemenervous
Getting a free beer from a guy at a show just because I was a KJHK DJ.
Having a beer with Jason Molina from Magnolia Electric Co before the show, which was amazing. My hero.
John Darnielle politely shushing a cellphone conversation during his set.
BARRR doing an artist talk with like 10 people there.
Win Butler destroying the old drop ceiling with his guitar.
Seeing The Architects punk rock jump, and then come down THROUGH the stage. They had to reinforce that sucker early on.
Opening for Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros in 09'...jackpot was packed Top to bottom, left to right, front 2 back

Seeing Deerhoof, Damien Jurado.
And Arcade Fire. And Black Christmas.
a pretty epic evening with the the antlers
tUnE yArDs rocked it pretty hard

April 15. Such a crazy night.

Shiner Bock on tap.

The time this drunk girl was hanging all over me and E kept referring to her as "Sweaty Boobs"

The time I gave a guy a wedgie while bouncing him-- tore his undies COMPLETELY out of his pants.

Favorite Jackpot moment: Where's my face? On the Jackpot floor. Because Dan Deacon arrived, glowing skull in hand, years ago.

Jackpot bathroom graffiti:


We love articles in which authors try to define the term "hipster," and Sunday's NY-Times piece called "Generation Sell" is certainly worth a read. It argues that "hipsters and bobos are symbiotic" and have combined to produce the following mentality:

"Today’s ideal social form is not the commune or the movement or even the individual creator as such; it’s the small business. Every artistic or moral aspiration — music, food, good works, what have you — is expressed in those terms."

The piece builds to a conclusion that Chip finds terrifying, which is that hipsters (as we know them now) are possibly here to stay:

"...hipsters, who’ve been around for 15 years or so, appear to have become a durable part of our cultural configuration."

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sad Scenester News of the Week: The Jackpot Gets Sold / KU Quidditch and Dirty Dillons Demolition Photos

If you're hip, you've probably heard the rumors for awhile now, but the word is officially out today (via the LJ-World's bizarre, speculative Town Talk column ): the Jackpot is getting sold.

According to the piece, the new owner is Eric Berman, who "hopes to still have some local music shows but also wants to add some "typical bar fare, a pool table or two, dart boards, a juke box, that sort of thing." Berman said he went to school in Lawrence in the '70s and '80s, moved to San Francisco and then spent a lot of time trying to persuade his California wife to move to Lawrence" (LJ-World).

San Francisco, eh? Perhaps he'll be bringing in a lot of noodly jambands. Expect to see puzzled scenesters crying outside the Japes as early as December.


Sadly, KU's young wizards didn't prove victorious in the Quidditch World Cup this weekend, but we celebrate their valiant efforts and strongly encourage you to click this UDK link for a photo gallery of images such as this, which appears to be some sort of broomstick boner-fight:


The UDK is really doing a bang-up job of images lately, and here's one that's sure to make you cry: it's the directory sign from Dirty Dillons, still hanging amidst the rubble of the demolition. Go here for a demolition photo gallery .

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Football and Quidditch Photos of the Weekend / Missed Connection of the Week

So yesterday's KU-Baylor game was hardly the slaughter we predicted. But in many ways it was far worse, with KU blowing a 21 point lead in the fourth quarter and losing in overtime on a bold or crazy (depending on your point of view) attempt at a two-point conversion.

The day also brought a rare display of emotion from Gill, as witnessed in this great LJ-World shot of him being restrained by the refs. Will we soon see him sacked, paid off, and dragged off of campus in a similar fashion?

We're not sure exactly how the Quidditch World Cup works, but apparently one plays A LOT of matches in a two day time span. We do know that KU Quidditch suffered their first tournament loss yesterday afternoon, 30-20, due to a "Hofstra snitch snatch" (via @UDK_Quidditch).

And here's our favorite photo of the tournament, taken from the Gothamist website. That kid in the background is using what Chip refers to as a "boner-grip."


Here's an intriguing W4M Missed Connection from last night's Guns N' Roses show in KC. If the dude discovers the post, he might just hook up with this lady AND her mother (and please note the clever lyrical references throughout):

"I was wearing an American flag bandana, you had a red bandana coming out of your back left pocket...I don't usually go for gingers but I think we got what it takes to make it. You're a bit older than me but I feel like I've known you forever. I think my mom would love to meet you, too. Please e-mail me if you're ready to meet your rocket queen. I still love you, baby."