Saturday, December 18, 2010

Closed For the Holidays

Readers, we're taking a long winter's break, but look for our musings on Twitter while the blog is away, and rest assured that Chip's New Year's resolution is to make even more boner jokes when we return, which is saying quite a lot, since he made a record number of boner jokes this year.

Happy hipster holidays! We hope your stocking is stuffed with PBR.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Weekend Cultural Guide

For children, old folks, and traditionalists, Liberty Hall offers up the annual Holiday Hoedown this evening. According to a piece in this week's Pitch, the Hoedown is traditionally the "rowdiest" of area holiday music events, but obviously the Pitch writers haven't attended in many years or they'd know that the event has morphed into a decidedly non-rowdy Hee Haw-like musical revue whose audience mainly consists of dancing children. The balcony, however, is still a fine place to drink beer and listen to some of Larryville and KC's best pickers and grinners. We'll be there.

For the hipper, the Rooftop Vigilantes Tour Kickoff is at the Replay. According to, DJ's Zach and Seth from the Vigilantes will be holding court from 8:00-1:00 but, as with most information from, we have our doubts as to its accuracy. Presumably, however, the band will be performing one of its patented 30-minutes gigs at some point (likely around 1:00 am).

For the hippest, the Vigilantes and Fourth of July are also playing a house party this weekend. It's posted publicly on Fourth of July's Twitter, so don't worry: we aren't sharing "secret" hipster information.

And for the artsy, the Percolator's annual benefit is at the Jackpot tonight, featuring performances by Danny Pound and Kirsten Paludan, who also happens to be profiled in this week's Style Scout: she "love[s] the return to lady-like fashion right now. Women are dressing less disheveled, more polished and sophisticated."

Is this true, or isn't it?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

This Week in Local Sports: Selby, Mario, Bubba, and Barbie / Important Hipster Article of the Week: "Brooklyn: The Brand"

You can't go outside in Larryville this week without hearing two words: Josh Selby. Yes, the highly-touted recruit is FINALLY slated to emerge from probation during Saturday's home game against USC and turn us from a great team into...possibly the best team that's ever played the sport of basketball (Good timing, too, since Mario Little, according to a Breaking News headline at this moment, was arrested last night for wreaking havoc along Ohio Street). Even the boys are excited about Selby's debut, and yesterday entered a contest to win tickets which required them to post a review of a local business in the LJ-World Marketplace. Read our review of the Replay here:

But Selby isn't the only news of note this week in the world of local sports. Tulsa's Bubba Cunningham will (almost certainly) soon replace former AD Lew Perkins. Based on our Southern heritage, we mistakenly believed that all Bubbas were portly gentleman rarely seen without a big dip of Skoal, but this Bubba looks like a respectable fellow and we wish him well. If someone asks if you want to borrow some exercise equipment, just say no, Bubba!

And in holiday sports news, the KU basketball team found time in their busy schedule this week for a little Christmas shopping. Enjoy that Barbie, Markieff!


We love articles about hipsterism, especially Brooklyn hipsterism, and this past Sunday's NY-Times offered a piece called "Brooklyn: The Brand," which explores how "Brooklyn hip" is expanding into Manhattan with the recent opening of a new bar called The Brooklyneer:

"This new bar is dedicated to all things Brooklyn, particularly, the menu declares, the borough’s 'newly-emerging food artisans.' There are Brooklyn hot dogs and Brooklyn pickles and Brooklyn whiskey. You can order toast points spread with Boerum Hill-made ricotta and Carroll Gardens-jarred jam, slam oyster shooters with Greenpoint-brewed kombucha."

Naturally, true Brooklyn hipsters are worried about the co-opting of their hipness, while others, such as the managing editor of Brooklyn Based, celebrate such expansion as inevitable and positive:

"Some of the country’s top movements start in Brooklyn, N.Y...trends soon to be sweeping the nation.” Among those trends: “gourmet canning” and “the art of urban farming.”

Here's our personal favorite line from the article:

"There is a $9 chocolate bar produced exclusively for Cool Hunting by the Mast Brothers of Williamsburg, whose preindustrial production techniques and picturesque beards have been celebrated by numerous enthusiasts." (picture below)

Why does no one ever celebrate our picturesque beards?

And could the Captain please make a field trip to The Brooklyneer, slam a few oyster shooters with Greenpoint-brewed kombucha, and report back to us in a new column?

Read the full piece here:

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ask Tweetnastyy: The Debut of Larryville's Hottest Advice Column! !

Our Twitter-buddy Tweetnastyy's recent guest column proved so popular that we felt compelled to offer her a recurring an advice columnist. In the debut of "Ask Tweetnastyy," she takes on such important topics as cuddling, farting, hooking up, and indulging in polyamorous relationships. Listen and learn, and send future questions to our comments sections or directly to Nastyy at her e-mail address below. Enjoy!

Dear Nastyy: What's the proper way to cuddle with a new squeeze?

Glad you asked! I like that this question indicates there are different ways to cuddle a new squeeze than how you would cuddle an "old squeeze". After a while, you find out what they like and are able to talk openly about what feels good, or where their old people joints/muscles hurt. For a movie, or an upright sitting situation, nothing beats the comfy nuzzle. I'm going to speak in terms of how I do things. I'm progressive and everything but my experience is mostly me (a girl) cuddling boys. Apply your gender specifics accordingly, you crazy horny children. Just rest your dainty little lady-head on his shoulder while he wraps his meaty man-gun around your shoulder. If that gets old, just bone down ASAP. You probably don't have much hope if you can't even be comfortable in each other's arms for short periods of time so it's best to just have one last sweaty hurrah and part ways. If you find yourself in a lay-down snuggle conundrum, spooning is WHERE IT'S AT. Don't gasp now, but I'm a pretty good little spoon. There's the ever-present dilemma of where to put the arm on which you decide to lie. I curl it around my head like a pillow. Figure I've got a good hour before my shit falls asleep and by then I'll probably be on my back anyway.

Gonna two-parter this answer because someone asked me how I stifled my farts with a new suitor. (I have since gradually introduced said suitor to my special brand of gasoline and things are still going well.) Somehow you must mentally change the way your insides work. That is the only way I can explain it. You have to will your guts to just chill the fuck out until release is acceptable. If you HAVE to do this, somehow you will. Just convince yourself you will die if you fart. You just might (of embarrassment).

Dear Nastyy: Do you have any tips for hip guys/gals for meeting people in Lawrence?

Well, for casual hook-ups, you can't really go wrong in the bar scene. Do you guys know how horny drunk young people are in Lawrence? Like, waaaay horny! You can take advantage of this, and it's affordable. Usually, you can just show up at the Replay at 2am and scoop up a stumbling ball of lust. No cover, no risky drink purchases, just sweet sweet hottie harvest. If you're looking for something more than a one-night stand, I say just stick with part one and eventually you'll wake up next to someone and won't be inclined to gnaw your own arm off. Keep them around. Make (or buy) them breakfast. Get their phone number. But like, actually keep it and use it. Someone's gonna like the way you work it. No diggity.

Dear Nastyy: Why do so many people frown upon polyamorous relationships?

Excellent question. I read up a little on polygamy because I was uneducated on the subject. It turns out there's more to polyamory than just fucking around. I don't really understand how people still "frown upon" what others do privately, especially polyamory (especially in Lawrence). Everyone's fucking. Who are we kidding? Why should your desire to sleep with new people hinder your chances of being in a healthy relationship? People are uptight, even in Lawrence. They're going to be skeptical of anything they don't understand or haven't practiced themselves. I say if you're happy, and your partners are happy, who cares what other people think? This is kind of obvious, but really. Anyone who is not okay with it has every right to decide it's not for them and back out. No one's in the dark when it comes to polyamorous relationships and honesty is the best policy. To be honest, the thought of polyamory just wears me out.

Hope I helped one OR ALL of you. Please feel free to send all your burning questions, love letters, and nudes, to!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The LC's Best of 2010 Continues (Local Edition) / An LC Teaser Trailer is bringing back its "Best of Lawrence" awards this year, but we aren't fully satisfied with their categories and nominees (HOW did the Tap Room get left out of the "Best Place for a Date" category?). So this week we offer a few choices of our own. Feel free to submit alternate categories and winners in our comments section, and we might just print them on the main page if they make us laugh and/or give us a boner.

Most terrifying local moment: April 14 started out like any other. You were all hanging out on the Free State patio, enjoying a peaceful, sunny afternoon, when your beer-fueled reveries were shattered by the rude arrival of Larryville's most-feared hobo, a man known only as Horse Shit, who attacked the brewery with a railroad spike before being heroically subdued by one Mr. Craig Hoffman. Thanks again, Craig. You win our Hero of the Year award!

Most important local scenester event: Sure, October's GarageFest may have been the hipster event of the year, but the "you had to be there" moment of the year was easily Janelle Monae's triumphant "homecoming" show at Liberty Hall. If you weren't there, it's a miracle we still associate with you at all.

Hottest local blogger: The boys lobbied hard to win this award themselves, but let's face facts. This category belongs to (newly-blonde) Katy Seibel over at Kansas Couture. Go visit her blog and see if you agree:

Best new restaurant: No, we're not going with Esquina or the Burger Stand at the Casbah or 715 (when did those open anyway). We're going with Oh Boy Chicken. The boys have been wanting a downtown fried chicken joint for years now, and their dreams have finally become a (delicious) reality.

Chip: "The irony that Oh Boy replaced the 10th Street Vegetarian Bistro is almost as delicious as the chicken. In fact, the only problem I have with Oh Boy is that their chicken is gluten-free, and I tend to like extra gluten in my chicken."

You should follow Oh Boy on Twitter (since they don't seem to have an actual website):

Best addition to the local scene: This one is easy. Larryville's Final Fridays Art Walk has done a great service by providing us a monthly opportunity to talk pompously about art not just in the expected locations but in a multitude of venues. Our only wish is for the event to get just a little...weirder. Come on, Larryville!


Readers, we're very excited about a new column slated to debut soon at the LC in which everyone's favorite new guest columnist, Tweetnastyy, will answer your questions about Larryville life and love (and lust and boners and all manner of sexual escapades). We encourage you to submit potential questions in our comments section and, if you're lucky, maybe they'll be selected for "Ask Tweetnastyy!"

Monday, December 13, 2010

The LC's "Best of 2010" Series Begins! / Holiday Gift Guide

Readers, we won't bore you with a bunch of Top Ten lists, but we can't resist a chance to zero in on a few of the things we found most hip, most fascinating, and most boner-inducing this past year.

Book of the Year: The choice is obvious. Franzen's Freedom provided a sobering tour of the modern moment that (a) left us very concerned about mountaintop removal and (b) provided us with a new euphemism for boner that we'll no doubt be using for years to come: "protruding pencil of tenderness."

Song of the Year: We could join the rest of the blogosphere and proclaim the genius of Kanye here, but we won't. The song that moved us most this year is the "LC Theme Song", in which the mysterious local hipster-pimp Sugar Dick, backed by the estimable Leotards, "toasts" (reggae-style) the local establishments that help to keep us hip. Please download from our sidebar and add to your end-of-the-year mixtapes.

Runner-up: Transmittens' We Disappear. Now that our twee friends have moved on to bigger, less twee projects with Seapony, this may well be your last chance to hear them at their bleepy and bloopy best. Don't miss it:

Film of the Year: Admittedly, we haven't actually seen Black Swan yet, due to the fact that Hollywood believes Middle America is composed entirely of rubes who won't even consider seeing a film about ballet. But we think it's safe to assume that any movie containing a Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis love scene is surely the year's best. It's certainly made our pencils protrude with tenderness, if you catch our meaning.

Chip: "Wait. This is a movie about ballet?"


Sure, local establishments such as Free State, the Replay, and Quintons offer T-shirts that make nice gifts, but why can't these venues get a little more original. Take KC's Knuckleheads, for example, which is selling thongs that read "Take me to Knuckleheads for some blues." Why can't the Replay sell a thong with a PBR can on it, possibly containing a pulltab?

Order your blues thongs here:

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sunday Scenester Pick and a Visit to Foodspotting!

Readers, it was so frigid and windy last night that even the hippest of local hipsters stayed home, drinking PBR by a roaring fire. Sadly, we even missed Santacon and can only offer you this LJ-World picture, which looks sufficiently jolly to us. Santas, if you're reading, identify yourselves:

If you're like us, you're probably getting cabin fever by now and will want to venture out this evening. Your choices are limited, but we recommend the Replay (naturally), where an Omaha folk collective of 10+ members called Midwest Dilemma will take the stage (can 10+ members FIT on the stage at the Replay? that alone is reason to attend). Their album, Timelines & Tragedies, is a concept piece (containing 20+ players, with a woodwing and string section) which "explores the journey of [lead singer] Lamoureux’s ancestors from days of French Canadian fur trading to his present day life in Omaha. Along the way, notes of the Vietnam War and his parents’ generation highlight the tale" (

If you're not intrigued yet (Chip: "History is still boring even when it's sung."), note that a solo Art Dodge is opening the show, and nothing says winter in Larryville like an evening of whiskey and basking in the glow of pinball machines as they reflect off Dodge's beard.


We're huge fans of, where intrepid foodspotters from across the globe post photos of their meals, and we often check in to see what's been spotted in Larryville (mostly gourmet burgers). Our recent visit to the site uncovered this startling photo, of the Jolly Green Giant chowing down on palaak paneer at India Palace. Identify that Giant and win a beer. Ho ho ho!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Hero of the Week: David Booth / Spot That NEON Scenester!

As you've no doubt heard, KU alumni David Booth paid a (perfectly reasonable) $4.3 million dollars yesterday at a Sotheby's auction to secure for KU an original copy of Naismith's 13 rules of basketball (a copy of the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Lincoln went for slightly less).

The rules will be displayed in an as-yet-to-be-decided place at the university.

Exciting news, yet a few essential items of KU basketball memorabilia are yet to be secured. We particularly hope the university can obtain the knife from Giddens' legendary Moon Bar knife fight and the mysterious, never-released "evidence" from the Collins-pulls-his-cock-out-on-the-elevator incident.


A. Rusc.n has outdone herself with the "Party Pics" from Thursday's final night of NEON. Go to to check out all of them, but we offer a few of them here for your consideration. As always, identity the scenester and win a beer from the LC! Click to enlarge the photos.

Is this scenester dancing, or is she raising her hand to solve a problem in math class?

Chip: "This chick is about to get topless!"

The robot is never not hip. And is that a Rolling Rock can? We are pleased to see cans of High Life and Rolling Rock appearing more frequently on the scene.

A scenester in a nice sweater flashes a gang sign. We aren't afraid. And his girlfriend seems appropriately embarrassed.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Weekend Guide to Larryville Culture: Drunken Santas, Art, Rock and Roll

If you're like us, you've waited your whole life to witness a horde of drunken Santas chugging PBRs in tandem at the Replay Lounge. Tomorrow, that time has come. Larryville's first annual Santacon kicks off at 1:30 at the Sandbar. They'll be at the Replay at 3:30. Click the link in our sidebar for a full schedule. See you tomorrow in your Santa suit!

Chip: "I'm going to invite A LOT of ladies to sit on Santa's lap."

But that's not the only event of interest this weekend. If you're like us, you jump at any opportunity to hang out in Stan Herd's studio/performance space, and tonight at 8:00 an "electro-accoustic performance art group" called Postcommodity will perform a piece called "Your New Age Dream Contains More Blood Than You Imagined."
Admission is free. We were sold as soon as we read this line from

"The performance itself incorporates amplified deer antlers...".

And after Saturday's Santa spree, you may want to relax with some tunes from our Twitter-buddies Noise FM and Cowboy Indian Bear, who are headlining the Noise For Toys benefit at the Bottleneck to raise money for Douglas County Toys for Tots. The event will feature an "ugly Christmas sweater" contest. Chip won the contest last year, without even knowing there WAS a contest. See you at the show.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Stop Day Eve / Scenester Pick of the Day: NEON Comes To An End

Stop Day Eve may not mean much to our scenester and townie readers, but we'd be remiss not to mention one of Larryville's most tradionally debaucherous evenings for KU students, in which local scholars take a much-deserved break from their studies before finals to get well and truly hammered. Here are three facts you may not know:

1) More people get laid on Stop Day Eve in Larryville than on any other day except Halloween (which easily wins due to the inspiration of all the slutty costumes).

2) More Jager shots are poured today than any other day.

3) Richard once spotted a drunken sorostitute lying on her back in the rain like a turtle (Chip: "A sexy turtle") along Ohio Street one Stop Day Eve. Our friend Dr. C tried to help her, but she was beyond help. However, we're pretty sure she didn't drown. Yes, we've told this story many times before, but you may have forgotten about it.


It will be a bittersweet evening for scenesters as Larryville's longest-running dance party, NEON, comes to an end after nine years and various locations. See you on the dancefloor at the Jackpot!

You can read a piece on the history of NEON and tonight's grand finale at, which contains passages such as this:

" [DJ's] Morales and Cruz have seen it all over the years: people stealing money out of the bar’s cash register, couples having sex in the middle of the dancefloor and four (four!) wedding proposals."

Chip: "Sadly, I can't claim to have had full-on sex on the dancefloor at NEON, but I HAVE had my boner out on several occasions, for various reasons."

Read the story here:

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Checking in With Larryville's Transmittens (Who Are Now Called Seapony and Live in Seattle) / Also: The Boys Discover Whipahol

It seems like only yesterday that Larryville was enjoying the delightful toy instruments and Casio bleeps of our twee heroes, Transmittens, but the joys they brought us were fleeting, and we have now discovered that they have moved to Seattle, evolved into the three-member group Seapony, and apparently begun to play surf guitar!

They've even made Pitchfork's Playlist:

"The band's named Seapony, the song's called "Dreaming", the single's cover art is a picture of a girl in ocean water, and the label that's putting it out doubles as a Tumblr blog."

Check out Seapony's Bandcamp at the address below to hear three songs (their 7', Dreaming, is sold out, as it should be). We think you'll find the adorableness and catchiness remain. Stay gold, Seapony, and come play at the Replay for us as soon as you can!

And recall the fond days of Larryville cow clouds and sparklemittens here:


They've taken away our FourLoko, but lately we've discovered something almost as ridiculous. It's called Whipahol--multi-flavored, alcohol-infused whipped cream in a can--and it's currently available at a liquor store near you (Chip: "Until the guvmint takes it away from us!").

To compete with 715's "Butchery Dinner" this weekend, the boys are hosting a special "Whipahol Meal" in which all dishes will be prepared using the delicious topping. Chip's dish is rumored to be chicken-fried steak, slathered with gravy and topped with Whipahol, whereas Richard is simply squirting Whipahol into half-empty cans of PBR to make a tasty beverage.

Visit the official website here:

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Local Foodie Events of the Week / More Film Criticism's Burger Stand and Esquina aren't the only local establishments helping to make Larryville an important foodie destination. There's also 715, which is hosting a "Butchery Dinner" this Sunday evening: "The private dinner, which still has a limited number of reservations, will include a session in which the Italian-trained Beard will demonstrate how he butchers a whole hog each week for the restaurant’s use in the hand-created pork products that pepper many of its entrees" (LJ-World).

Richard: "Sounds fun, but I'd prefer they were hosting a rabbit-butchering seminar/dinner."

Our vegetarian readers: "We agree, simply because we suspect that a lot fewer people would order the rabbit ravioli dish if they saw the cute fluffy bunnies being needlessly slaughtered for their dining pleasure."

Chip: "I dined at 715 recently and found my portion of lasagna to be distressingly small. True story."

For those who like their food/entertainment options a little less high-falutin' (and a little more hipster) than a private dinner, we recommend the Jackpot's second annual chili-cookoff tonight at 7:00, accompanied by "rock Djs playing deep dish blues" ( Our guess is that the secret ingredient of almost every single pot of hipster chili is either PBR or Hamm's.

And in other food-related news, word arrived today that Old Chicago will be abruptly closing on Friday.

Our foodie readers: "This would be a great opportunity for to expand his gourmet empire far enough to reach the fucking Philistines who dine along Iowa Street."

Our Westside readers: "Please let it be replaced by a Red Lobster or Olive Garden."


When the boys occasionally see romantic comedies, it's almost always in an effort to get laid, but they found a surprising amount to enjoy in the new Jake Gyllenhaal/Anne Hathaway film Love and Other Drugs, namely the fact that Hathaway is extremely naked throughout much of the film. But just how great of a match are Gyllenhaal and Hathaway. Let's turn to the New Yorker's David Denby to find out:

"...what [the film] delivers at its core is as indelible as (and a lot more explicit than) the work of such legendary teams as Clark Gable and Joan Crawford, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn."

Exactly right, Denby. When we saw the scene where Gyllenhaal experiences a raging Viagra-boner and his wacky brother keeps accidentally slapping him on his boner, we thought to ourselves that we were witnessing nothing less than the rebirth of an 'indelible' leading man in the manner of Gable, Tracy, or (we might add) Cary Grant.

Chip: "I also like the scene where Gyllenhaal and Hathaway make a sex tape and the wacky brother gets caught jerking off to the sex tape!"

Monday, December 6, 2010

Gifts for the Hipster On Your List / Film Criticism of the Day

As the holiday season approaches, we'll be offering occasional advice on what to get the hipster on your list who isn't satisfied with the perennial case of PBR. Today's choices:

1) Dave Eggers' new book of animal sketches, titled It Is Right To Draw Their Fur: "Most of these works are of unusual mammals, most often accompanied by slogans with ancient, heroic, or just plain odd overtones" (McSweeneys).

Here's an example:

Chip: "I rarely tire of looking at beavers."

2) Children's shoes designed by the members of Animal Collective: "the band has teamed up with the apparel company Keep to create a line of shoes. Proceeds from sales go to the Socorro Island Conservation Fund...and each shoe pre-order comes with a cassette of previously unreleased music" (Pitchfork).


We're big fans of Soft Skull Press (after all, they published our friend King Tosser's book: Rebels Wit Attitude: Subversive Rock Humorists). Now they're releasing a series called Deep Focus, four books of film criticism. In the first book of the series, novelist Jonathan Lethem tackles John Carpenter's They Live:

"At first, this seems like a parody of postmodern ideological criticism, with its mania for reducing all culture to a codified system of consensual oppression (indeed, Lethem quotes long passages from an admiring essay on “They Live” by the ­Marxist-Lacanian critic Slavoj Zizek). But Lethem excels...Lethem may deconstruct “They Live,” but he does not destroy it" (New York Times).

Chip: "Well, he destroyed it for me. I don't want to think about Lacan. I just want to hear Rowdy Roddy Piper say 'I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum.'"

Go here to enjoy one of the greatest lines ever:

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Boys Read Three Books For (and About) Hipsters

A recent piece in the Washington Post offers three tips for books about hipsters.

The first (and likely best) has already been spotlighted on this blog in recent weeks: What Was the Hipster? A Sociological Investigation by Mark Grief.

The second, which we're only just learning about, also looks intriguing: Hipster Christianity: When Church and Cool Collide by Brett McCracken. According to the Post's summary, McCracken "believes that Christian hipsters at "wannabe hip churches" led by pastors with spiky hair who talk about the latest episode of "Mad Men" in their sermons are increasingly getting their inspiration from pop culture rather than scripture, shifting the emphasis from God to consumption and image."

We wonder if McCracken is aware that Larryville's own Plymouth Congregational is currently selling T-shirts printed with the phrase "We put the hip in worship" (along with a guitar)?

Richard: "I keep waiting for a special 'PBR service' but no luck yet. At least there's Theology on Tap, though it would be hipper if held at the TapRoom instead of Henry's."

And finally there's Stuff Hipsters Hate: A Field Guide to the Passionate Opinions of the Indifferent, by Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz.

Do hipsters hate books about hipsters? We suspect they do.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Unhip Event of the Weekend: Jason Mraz Visits KU

Late yesterday afternoon word started spreading via social media outlets that popular, unhip crooner Jason Mraz would be performing an unscheduled, unpromoted-in-advance gig at the Kansas Union. The show ended up attracting a few hundred students (and a few townie fans) while hipsters, presumably, clustered somewhere far away, complaining about the state of American music.

Chip: "I collect Mraz on vinyl, and I totally got him to sign my copy of Waiting For My Rocket To Come!"

We leave you today with the LJ-World musings of Alceste, who enjoys referring to himself in the third-person:

Alceste says:

"The sheer fact it was a live show done in a throw down moment made it a very enjoyable musical interlude and brought "class" to Lawrence....something this town has not had music wise since before the Bottleneck became the bottleneck.......over priced, super hyped shows by the Grade C likes of "Kelly Hunt" or "Blued Riddims", blah, blah, blah. "Kansas Rock and Roll Hall of Fame"....hahahahahahahahah....that's some funny stuff!!! Even Mike Finnigan knew when the getting was good.....

Add to the fact this 33 year old can actually play and not take himself oh so ever seriously was a wonderful 2 hours of good time music.....

Alceste just has a way of being at the right place at the right time despite being Alceste. There was no Lied Center Blue Haired elite to wade through; every person watching was just "chill" and those that missed this....those that were not there.....they're just square.....a good time was had by ALL......Alceste even had time to, quick like a bunny, go get a taper DvD....YouTube it shall not be....I promised his "people" it was for my private use only and they took pity on this ancient old person. Way cool.....unlike oh so many: $1.00 discount for the Aged to go to Lied? $0.00 discount for Lawrence "Community" Theatre? jokesters....the lot...."

Friday, December 3, 2010

Weekend Scenester Guide / Also: King Tosser Interviews Rooftop Vigilantes in PopMatters

Here are our picks for your weekend scenester itinerary:

Start your Friday evening at the Holiday Sip and Shop in the Alton Ballroom of Pachamama's (6:00-10:00) where local artists (such as our Twitter-buddies @BARRR and Patrick Giroux) will be selling their wares in a beer-fueled atmosphere.

Chip: "I hope I don't get so drunk that I accidentally purchase some art."

End your evening at the Replay (of course) where Mammoth Life, everybody's favorite local costumed indie-rockers, will offer up some new material, which you can download for free at the address below. ML has recently downsized from an eight-piece scenester collective to a duo, but we suspect they are still adorable.

And in between these events, make sure to stop by the Free State Glass Company's annual Christmas party (which we THINK is tonight). Oh, is that a scenester secret? Sorry for revealing it, but all of our readers are easily hip enough to attend.

Don't get too hammered, however, because you need to be up and around for Saturday's Old Fashioned Christmas Parade at 11:00 tomorrow.

Chip: "You might expect us to say something cynical about this event, but we're not going to. The horses are beautiful!"


Larryville is making a splash in PopMatters today with the publication of our friend King Tosser's piece on garage rock, the recent Garage Fest, and the Rooftop Vigilantes, who make for great interview subjects as revealed in these excerpts:

"I’m glad we played first so we could get to drinking and enjoy the rest of the festival."

"Collectively, we change our clothes about every 2.7 days."

"Quiet bands are weenies."

"We aim for the cheapest, fastest way of getting it done, of getting it to that level where it sounds shitty but no shittier, just this clean but no cleaner, and with a just-out-of-tune cool."

Read "Bullshit Detectors! The Garage Is an Outside Place, and a Place for Outsiders" at this address:

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Checking In With Style Scout and the Rangelife Records Best-of-the-Year List

When you are picking up your Rustic Italian Round down at Wheatfields, do you ever wonder what's on the mind of the man who bakes your beloved bread? Today's Style Scout has answers.

Willie Stein describes his style as that of "a pretentious French intellectual who got Freaky Friday-ed into the body of a teenage grind-core fan who sometimes takes on a third identity as a pro-cyclist." He'd like to see more "well-read Leftists" in town (Chip: "Go to the Pig, Willie!") and would like to see less "fake haute-cuisine downtown that [manages] to trick people into thinking that spending more money equals better food." (is that a potshot at Mr. Krause?). Stein's fashion influences are "Inspector Clouseau, David Vincent from Morbid Angel, and Mario Cipollini."

Nicely Scouted, Style Scout. Now how about a look into the hopes and dreams of the man who fries our Wednesday night Wheatfields chicken?


For three years running, the folks at Rangelife Records have been delighting us with year-end picks of their favorite songs. #3 among this year's picks is from Zaguar, who considers the Seams remix of "You" by Gold Panda:

"The sleight of hand he does with the weaving rhythms between 2:40 and 3:20 is the freshest and most fun electronic music got in 2010."

Zaguar must have forgotten that the Transmittens We Disappear, with its lovely bleeps and bloops, was released earlier this year. Otherwise, great choice!

Go here to check out the Rangelife picks (and send in submissions of your own):

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Free Local CD of the Week / Spot That Scenester / Is It Art, or Isn't It? (Miami Edition!)

According to, the two fellows pictured below (is the photo ironic?) are quite likely to approach you in the street bearing gifts during the holiday season.

Chip: "My first inclination is to run."

Relax, Chip, those adorable be-sweatered gents (Sam Billen and Josh Atkinson) just want to give you their Christmas album, titled A Word of Encouragement. Billen claims his contributions to the albums are influenced in part by "Shugo Tokumaru (who he describes as “kind of a Japanese Sufjan Stevens”)."

You can read the full article and stream a song on, but hopefully you'll be receiving a hand-delivered copy of your very own.


If you're a scenester, you almost certainly spent Thanksgiving evening at the Jackpot listening to cover bands take on Bikini Kill, Minor Threat, Nirvana, and Jawbreaker. A. Rusc.n was there, and we're especially fond of the following photo. Are they scenesters, or are they...zombies? As always, spot the scenester and win a free beer from the LC (click to enlarge).


Thanks to Final Fridays, Larryville is getting artsier by the month, but nothing yet compares to Art Basel Miami Beach, the center of the art world this week, an event described by the NY-Times as a "bacchanal disguised as the Western Hemisphere’s most prestigious art fair."

Hopefully our Miami friend Beth will bask in the artsiness and report back to us, especially on this food-related art event:

"To score their meal, guests must squeeze through a jagged hole in the courtyard wall and wander through an overgrown field to an empty house. There, they will find a buffet installation: thousands of bowls and pedestals of porridge, brown sugar, raisins and milk. It’ll be the hottest brunch spot in town" (NY-Times).

Is it art, or isn't it?

Chip: "Anything this dumb is almost certainly art."

Richard: "Agreed."

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Old Canes Need Your Help / The Bad Sex in Fiction Prize is Awarded / And a Proud Moment for the LC!

If you're a local scenester, Chris Crisci has brought you a lot of joy in the form of Appleseed Cast and Old Canes. Now he and the Canes needs a little financial assistance to record "a three disc 7" vinyl series called Shapeshifter." We know you are hard-pressed to part with more than whatever an evening's worth of PBR costs, but there are incentives here, as Crisci has arranged a reward system based on the amount of your donations. For you cheap scenesters, a pledge of $3 gets you MP3's of the entire series. A mere $15 gets you the series on vinyl. Higher dollar donations will be rewarded by signed copies, guest passes to shows, your name in the liner notes, etc. And for $1000, Crisci will hang out with you and cook fish tacos.

Scenesters, let's stockpile our PBR money and have ourselves a fish taco party!

Check out the complete info and reward system here:


Sadly, our literary hero Franzen did not win the Bad Sex in Fiction prize yesterday. Instead, the award went to Irish writer Rowan Somerville, whose The Shape of Her was singled out in part for this line:

"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her."

Chip: "I feel it's unfair to call this 'bad.' Taken in the context of the novel, it might be perfectly boner-worthy."


We recently voted Boobs Only Lesbians as our favorite blog of the week, and in recent days we've been noticing a little traffic from their site (yes, we are as vain as the next scenester, and occasionally check our stats to see if any of you are paying attention to us, and we are delighted to think that a number of beautiful "boobs only lesbians" are now reading our work!). A quick visit to their blog reveals that a direct link to the LC has been included in their recent publicity recap:

" This Week In Sex, which seems to imply we are dumb but maybe doesn’t get that we’re not calling ourselves LESBIANS, we’re calling ourselves BOOBS-ONLY LESBIANS. Who’s dumb now?!, which suggests lesbians might not be enamoured with our principles – but so far we’ve had nothing but encouragement!, which claims we don’t exist. Which we clearly do.

The Larryville Chronicles name us blog of the week.

No such thing as bad publicity, eh?"

Yes, indeed, we have found ourselves sandwiched between a picture of a topless woman doing laundry and a topless woman wearing a Pink Panther mask! Check it out:

Thanks for paying attention to us, you lovely boobs-only lesbians, and we are honored to be included next to those other boner-worthy sites (and also AfterEllen).

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Chronicle of Higher Ed Takes a Culinary Tour of Larryville / The Boys Examine This Year's "Bad Sex in Fiction" Nominees / Hipster Pick of the Day

Writers from the Chronicle of Higher Ed were in town recently to take in a performance of KU's much-ballyhooed "original pronunciation" version of A Midsummer Night's Dream, the first full-length OP Shakespearean production in America. As best as we can tell, they haven't published a piece on it yet, but they did publish a piece on their dining experiences at Burger Stand, Esquina, 715, and Wheatfields. The Burger Stand, with its variety of fries, even inspired the article's title: "Our duck-fat tour of Lawrence, KS."

At Esquina, the Chroniclers dined on "a fish taco with ancho-lime coconut cream, plantain, and rice; a tofu and mushroom taco with chorizo-style marinade and chipotle sour cream; and the “Calabaza”—pumpkin and butternut squash puree, grilled zucchini, and goat-cheese cream."

Chip: "I've said it before and I'll say it again: I miss the days when tacos contained meat and cheese."

Our favorite part of the article, however, is when Love Garden's Kelly Corcoran gets a shout-out:

"Kelly Corcoran, the owner of Lawrence’s excellent Love Garden record store, told us that students rarely eat downtown. Which is, I have to say, their loss."

Is this true? We suppose that perhaps downtown is more of a drinking than a dining destination for students.

Read the full piece here:


One of our favorite competitions each year is the award for Bad Sex in Fiction, although we've never agreed with the contest's stated goals: "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it." "Bad" or not, the nominees almost always give us a boner, and we are thankful to them for their prose. The nominees for this year's award were recently announced, and guess who's among them? Yes, it's our old pal Jonathan Franzen, singled out especially for an over-the-top phonesex conversation in Freedom (we'd happily quote it for you, but our copy is on loan to some of our East-side friends).

Luckily, a Huffington Post article on this year's competition provides excerpts from another of the nominees, Adam Ross's critically-acclaimed Mr. Peanut, which we read over the summer and quite enjoyed. Take a look:

"Love me!" she moaned lustily. "Oh, Ward! Love me now!"

He jumped out from his pajama pants so acrobatically it was like a stunt from Cirque du Soleil. But when he went to remove her slip, she said, "Leave it!" which turned him on even more. He buried his face into Hannah's [vagina] like a wanderer who'd found water in the desert [. . . .]"

Chip: "I suppose Ross should have stuck with the circus metaphor for that final sentence. Perhaps 'He buried his face into Hannah's [vagina] like a lost clown who'd found water in the desert."


Scenesters love it when international bands grace our local stages, and the Jackpot offers a good chance tonight to catch Aussie rockers Tame Impala, whose album Innerspeaker earns a very impressive 8.5 from Pitchfork:

"...a cleanly executed and frequently dazzling debut: Innerspeaker is a psychedelia-heavy outing that toys with paisley pop, stoner vibes, and an expansive array of swirling guitars."

Richard: "I love paisley pop, yet I dislike stoner vibes. I'm on the fence on this one."

Chip: "The problem with stoner vibes is that they tend to attract stoners. Count me out."

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Catching Up With Recent News: Football Controversies, Scenester Art, and a Local Children's Book

We feel like the most important story in town this past week was a bit under-reported: Coach Gill's decision not to ask former Coach Don Fambrough to deliver his longstanding annual anti-Missouri tirade prior to the Border War.

Gill cited Fambrough's health concerns, which Fambrough denied, leaving most of us convinced that the decision largely stemmed from Gill's strict "no profanity" policy. But surely our team, after a discouraging season in almost every respect, deserved to bask in the passionate, profanity-laced hatred of a beloved tradition? Right?

Chip: "Fuck yes!"


Hopefully you found time to enjoy Final Fridays over the break. We stopped by Wonder Fair's new group exhibition called "Sharing," where we spent most of our time contemplating a piece by Kenneth Kupfer which depicted a very large can of Hamms.

Richard: "Sometimes I feel disconnected from local art, but that piece spoke to me on some deep level, a level that enjoys cheap hipster beers."

The exhibit runs through January 24, so make sure to visit (click to enlarge the photo below, from Wonder Fair's website, for a sampling).

We also stopped by Teller's, whose upstairs room had been transformed into a nice little gallery that was, at the time of our visit, patronized solely by Richard and an old lady who was lost and looking for the restrooms.


So many of our local scenesters are incredibly prolific. Artist and DJ Justin Marable can now add children's book author to his resume. His new book, Noco, traces the adventures of Noco the prairie dog who makes his way home across Kansas while visiting Kansas landmarks. The book release and a new art opening from Marable take place this Friday evening at Signs of Life.

Richard: "So many of my hipster friends have children these days and I'm planning a hipster children's book, which will involve Hipsy the hipster hedgehog running through various venues like the Replay while pursued by the villainous Bob, who wants to turn him into a gourmet hedgehog hot dog."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Holiday Box Office Report / The Boys Take a Few Days Off

Readers, if you're like us, you love to go to the movies during the holidays, and this week brings a fine batch of films such as...that movie where The Rock kicks ass...and that movie where Anne Hathaway gets very, very naked in several more-explicit-than-usual sex scenes:

Here's an excerpt from a NY-Times piece on the Hathaway film, which is called Love and Other Drugs:

"Mr. Zwick speaks of the sex scenes in his new film as a kind of dramatic icebreaker: the ingredient necessary to “break down the wall” with which contemporary audiences guards their emotions. “A sex scene is gratuitous when it only exists for its own sake,” he said, adding, “We thought if we were to look at these scenes as we would look at any other scene, to advance the plot, or drive conflict, or overcome an obstacle, then we could apply all that we already knew about scene work and craft to the scene.”

Chip: "He's forgetting the most important question involved in any sex scene: Will this scene give us a boner?"

See you after the holiday break.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

KU is Poised to Break a Basketball Record / FourLoko Gets Banned

Aside from today's brief campus fire at Anschutz Sports Pavilion (which our Twitter-friend Evil Turner Gill claims was ignited in a volleyball player's panties after she witnessed him without his shirt), the talk of the town at the moment is tonight's potential record-breaking game at Allen Fieldhouse. With a victory over Texas A&M Corpus Christi, the Hawks can surpass their all-time home win streak of 62 games

Perhaps a more interesting game tonight, however, is the match-up between K-State and Duke at the Sprint Center in KC.

Chip: "I've said this many times, but I think I mean it more than ever: I hope they BOTH lose."


First the state took away our synthetic weed (K2). Now, as of yesterday, they've banned our favorite alcohol/energy drink (Four Loko, and also Four Maxed, Joose, and Max). Luckily, the boys have stockpiled enough of this shit to keep us Loko for months to come.

Chip: "FourLoko is going to be the secret ingredient in my turkey gravy this year."

Monday, November 22, 2010

Pitchfork Gives Kanye's New Album a Rare and Perfect 10.0

For the first time since 2002 (Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot), Pitchfork has bestowed a perfect 10.0 on an album, and that album belongs to Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, which is officially available as of today, following what New York Magazine terms "perhaps the greatest promotional cycle in the history of pop music." Obviously, we must all buy it immediately.

According to Pitchfork, the album is a "hedonistic exploration into a rich and famous American id" in which Kanye "cherry-picks little things from his previous work and blows them up into something less than sane."

Chip: "Hipsters always believe that insanity equals genius. It doesn't. Also, I'll never forgive him for what he did to Taylor Swift."

We'll be hosting a listening party for the album tonight, and we hope to see you there for a sing-a-long of the album's greatest mantra:

"no more drugs for me, pussy and religion is all I need"

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday Hipster Picks / More Harry Potter Coverage

If you're a true scenester, you already shelled out a few months ago to watch Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti at the Jackpot. So why should you do it again?

Because they're opening for "tropicalia legends" Os Mutantes tonight, of course, and this will provide a good chance to pretend you know something about music outside of the States.

This Philadelphia Inquirer review of a show from a few nights ago should give you a good sense of what you're in for:

"Pink's homemade productions race back to the '80s, '70s and '60s, but Os Mutantes, in the '60s themselves, redefined psychedelic futurism. Sérgio Dias and company do not disappoint on the Salvador Dali front, all dressed in caftans (save Bia Mendes in a short black jacket) with a flutist in tow, dabbing Tropicália rhythms with flourishes of English folk and opera betwixt drum breaks worthy of James Brown."

Richard: "I love psychedelic futurism, but if I were going out tonight I'd opt for The Moaners early show at the Jackpot. That Melissa Swingle, formerly of Trailer Bride, can play the saw like nobody's business. Who was at the legendary show in KC where the room was stifling and she played most of the set in her bra?"

Here's a picture of some of the Mutantes, looking like they just came from a Harry Potter screening:


And speaking of Potter, the new film is projected to rack up $125 million bucks at the box office this weekend (Chip: "This weekend will be remembered as the one where the world came together and collectively mourned the death of a house elf."). We're amused by this line from Harry Knowles' review on AICN:

"That said, that row of chatty cunts that made sexy whistles and comments everytime Potter had his shirt off. Seriously - you middle-aged Potter Porn readers - keep your mouth shut at the midnight premiere of the films."

Chip: "I can't judge, because that was my piercing wolf-whistle you may have heard at Southwind last night during the topless Hermione make-out scene."

Indeed, the film left us wanting to write some erotic Harry Potter fan fiction. Here's a line from an article called "Taking Liberties With Harry Potter," which examines the genre of Potter "fanfic":

"No one wants to put words in J. K. Rowling’s mouth, but it’s safe to assume that when she hails her readers’ creativity, she has in mind something other than tales wherein Professor Snape is fellated by the Sorting Hat."

Chip: "I can't believe someone beat me to that fellating-hat idea!"

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Spot That Scenester! / The Boys Look at this Week's Controversial Style Scout Subject

When Rusc.n offers up a new set of Party Pics, it's time to play "Spot That Scenester." The new photos (posted in a timely nice!) are of this week's Delta Saints show at the Bottleneck. We've spotted several familiar faces in the crowd, such as "That dude from Cowboy Indian Bear" and our friend Nezbeat, local hip-hop wizard. But who is this bearded fellow in the nice sweater? Identify him and win yourself a hipster beer of your choosing!


Has any Style Scout subject ever inspired as much as LJ-World talkback as this week's Natasha Kastl, owner of the Bauhaus boutique. The comments break down as follows: (a) those who think there's no way in hell this woman is 27, as she claims, and (b) those who are enraged that she spends so much money on clothing ($298 dollars for that blouse!) when people are starving on the streets of Larryville.

During her Style Scout interview, Natasha "challenge[s] all of Lawrence’s men to wear more fitted jeans."

Chip: "Not going to happen. Skinny jeans are for hipsters and they stifle my boners."

Is she stylish? Is she really 27?

Friday, November 19, 2010

The LC's Guide to Friday Night

Local scenesters face a tough choice tonight, as there are two Pitchfork-approved bands playing simultaneously: Wolf Parade at the Granada and Shearwater at the Jackpot.

How does one decide?

The most obvious way would be to look at the Pitchfork rankings of the bands' most recent albums. Wolf Parade's Expo 86 gets a respectacle but not spectacular 7.5 ("more dependable than revelatory"). Shearwater's The Golden Archipilago gets a slightly higher 7.9 ("the record is introduced by a field recording of what sounds like an island choir."). We give Shearwater the hipster edge here because their work is more pretentious.

But there are other factors to take into account as well. The opening act for Wolf Parade is called Ogre, You Asshole, and they are from Japan, which is kind of hip. But then again Shearwater's opener is the dependable Damien Jurado, whose new album also gets a 7.9 from Pitchfork ("meditations on 1950s girl-group balladry, thorny Neil Young-esque guitar rock, and cavernous chamber-pop.").

Then you must factor in that the Jackpot is infinitely hipper than the Granada, as well as a few bucks cheaper.

So where will the boys spend their Friday evening?

Richard: "I'll be at the Replay to see the Danish metal band with the unpronounceable name."

Chip: "I'll be at the Jazzhaus for Yucca Roots, mon!"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Boys Consider the New Harry Potter Film and Read This Year's "Sex on the Hill"

For millions of geeks, there's only one thing on your mind right now: tomorrow's release of the new Harry Potter film. The boys are currently ironing their wizard robes and preparing to take their place in line for tonight's midnight showing (Chip: "My 'wand' is fully erect in anticipation, if you catch my meaning.").

According to a glowing review on AICN, the film is spectacularly dark, with images that are likely to be etched into young viewers' minds for a lifetime:

"I’d be willing to bet that this generation’s small children will point at this film as one of those that made a huge impression on them. For me it was watching Artax sink into the Swamps of Sadness, that fucking horrible bog witch from Legend and Toht’s face melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark."

But what are the true fanboys most excited about?

In the AICN talkback, Gabba-UK says: "...don't feel bad about cracking one off over Emma Watson. She's 20 now for gawds sake and if you've seen the photos from the premiere you'll know she merits a sprained wrist."

See you in line, readers.


The boys have a long and complex relationship with the University Daily Kansan's "Sex on the Hill" issue. During his years as a young Master's candidate, a fresh-faced Chip often waited near the paper stands with a massive boner for the issue to appear. And during the heyday of "Sex on the Hill," one of the boys' all-time favorite Quinton's waitresses, a budding journalist, wrote a piece for the issue about faking orgasms, for once giving our friend Dr. C. a more-or-less acceptable reason to quiz her about sexual topics. In recent years, however, the issue has become a little dull (although we did enjoy the recent controversy that erupted over a sexy picture of a couple making out in the sacred Campanile, which we'll reprint below in case you've forgotten or didn't see it the first time around).

The new installment of "Sex on the Hill" is out today, and while it largely falls on the dull, and obvious, side ("Europeans are more comfortable with their sexuality" ), we did enjoy the article with advice on which songs are best to fuck to, such as Janelle Monae's "Faster, Faster" ("It’s all about pace with this one. If at any time one of you are waning, the recurring “faster and faster” should fix it." ) and Katy Perry's "Peacock" ("Katy Perry is not talking about the bird. The innuendos are not subtle at all and Katy Perry doesn’t waste any time trying to get what she wants: “Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?” ).

Chip: "When I listen to Katy Perry while having sex, I tend to find myself fantasizing about Katy Perry, and specifically about her breasts."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Important Hipster Article of the Week / Blog of the Week: "Boobs-Only Lesbians"

Each week the boys scour the New York Times Book Review in search of pompous fiction they can pretend to read in order to impress intellectual women (current favorites: Tom McCarthy's C and, of course, Adam Levin's The Instructions). During this week's search we came across an important piece called "The Hipster in the Mirror" by Mark Greif.

Grief feels that the "couch-surfing, old-clothes wearing hipsters...seem the most authentic but are actually the most socially precarious": "They are the bartenders and boutique clerks who wait on their well-to-do peers and tourists. Only on the basis of their cool clothes can they be 'superior': hipster knowledge compensates for economic immobility."

Richard: "Well, of course 'hipster knowledge compensates for economic immobility.' Chip and I have Ph.D's in the humanities and still can't get jobs. Why do you think we find the 'sparklemitten' and 'cow cloud' fantasies of the Transmittens so appealing?"


During today's perusal of Vice magazine, the following sentence immediately caught our eye: "Boobs-only Lesbians is an important blog about tits written by two partially gay girls." (their blog title refers to "women who appreciate the company of women, the beauty of women, but with an aversion to the vag.”).

Vice offers a stimulating interview with the blog's authors in which they provide such insights as "Tits are great and should be enjoyed."

Chip: "I've been saying that for years, and I'm not even a boobs-only lesbian."

The Vice piece also offers an important poll, complete with pictures: "What kind of knockers make you want to be a boobs-only lesbian?"

We voted for "deliciously suckable." (Chip: "Actually, I voted for "Big, with nipples like sun-dried tomatoes.").
Go here to take the poll yourself:

And visit the blog here:

Chip: "It may be a blog for lesbians, but I'm finding A LOT of things there that I can also enjoy.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Guest Columnist Tweetnastyy Considers the State of Stand-Up Comedy in Larryville / Local Mixtape of the Week / MTV Remakes Teen Wolf

Readers, we can't make it to every hip event in town and we didn't make it to @BARRR's "secret" stand-up comedy showcase at Wonder Fair on Saturday (rumor has it that Chip was denied entrance at the door because he was wearing a KU sweatshirt and the WF gang believed he might be a frat boy attempting to enter and vandalize the art). Luckily, our Twitter-buddy Tweetnastyy was in attendance and willing to share a few thoughts with us. Who's this Tweetnastyy, you ask? Well, we're not quite sure, as we haven't actually met her in person, but what we've gathered is that she works at a local coffee shop and tweets things that are so shockingly sexual they make Chip's boner jokes look like the innocent musings of a small child. Thanks for the review and, if we ever meet you, you've got a free PBR coming. So, without further delay, here's the state of hipster comedy in Larryville:

"Jason Barr has been doing his part to keep Lawrence weird and, judging by the performances Saturday night at the Wonder Fair Gallery's SHHHHH: SECRETS comedy show, it's going very well.

The 1st openers (I can't be bothered to remember names when free booze is involved but one of them was Tyler Waugh of Suede By Perfection) were mustashioed brothers bantering about boning vs. boyfriending and just generally giving each other shit. The girl behind me even remarked "You can tell they used to do this at Christmas dinner.". The second act consisted of a fraction of Baiowolf, with Rob Schulte doling out jokes on note cards as he saw fit and Sean Wilson reading and throwing said cards into the audience (mostly at one guy in the front, to be honest). My favorite part of this was the fact that the subject matter of each joke was written on the back of the note cards in large print. Some of my favorites were "JIMMIE WALKER", "HOT BITCHES", and "MEAT EATERS ARE FAGS". Excellent work, boys.

Finally, onto the main event. Barr came out with drunken guns blazing, chugging FourLOKO and yelling into the reverb-heavy mic. "I'm Jason Barr, but you probably already know that because I'M A FUCKING CELEBRITY!!!" I have to hand it to him, J-BARR (as he says he's called but I can't say I've heard it from anyone) lets it all hang out. Fact or fiction, he doesn't seem to give a good goddamn what people think of him. It makes for good entertainin'. He was ticking jokes off with a pen that started to turn his tongue blue after just a few strokes. Couldn't have been the FourLOKO, because that was clearly green flavored. I think he even coined a new phrase which I've already used twice since the show. "Rape cottage" is sure to sweep the nation. J-Barr (hey, let's just go with him on this, okay?) has great timing, energy, and the perfect absence of shame to make great comedy. I look forward to more showslike this. Not too many, though. He's not getting any younger and just watching him yell and pace around gives me chest pains.

Much love to him and the Wonder Fair Family for all their hard work/drinking
to keep us weird."

Our feminist readers: "Rape jokes are NEVER funny, J-Barr."

Presumably the evening will soon be available in podcast form for the rest of us to laugh with (or at)? Keep us posted, @BARRR.


Tweetnastyy mentions Tyler Waugh in her review, and that guy is certainly one prolific scenester. When he's not riffing about boning in his comedy routine or making bleeps and blips in Suede By Perfection, you might spot him doing weird things with Team Bear Club or distributing his own mixtapes (a hobby of most local scenesters these days). Tyler passed along a link to his mixtape to us, requesting a review, and we are happy to oblige.

Dr. Chip: "From its opening sample of Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven is a Place on Earth', Waugh's tape deposits us in a scenester heaven that manages to feel both strangely unfamiliar ("Girl with a Fanta in her hand...eating some afternoon flan") and utterly universal ("Feeling cool by the pool"). My hips swayed throughout this mellow mix, with the possible exception of Track 5, which seems to simply consist of Waugh talking about some delicious Mexican food he'd just eaten."

Download it at this address (or via direct link in our sidebar):

Here's the cover:


Next year, MTV will sully our beloved childhood memories of Teen Wolf with a series that updates that film for the Twilight crowd, with moody, leather-jacket-wearing werewolves who play lacrosse instead of basketball (seriously). Trailers appeared on-line yesterday if you dare to witness them.

Our prediction is that, good or bad (and it's almost certainly VERY bad), the show will be far more successful than the LC's attempt to raunchily reinvent werewolf fiction for tween-age boys. But will the series contain anything to rival the immortal first line of our Harry Lupus series? Doubtful. We reprint that line here to refresh your memory:

"As the full moon rose outside his bedroom window, Harry Lupus woke up with a very furry boner."

Monday, November 15, 2010

Local Food Trends, Kanye's New Album, and Good News for Public Masturbators!

Perhaps you thought the only local food trend was gourmet burgers, but according to a piece in InkKC there are at least 19 other KC and Larryville food trends going strong right now, ranging from edamame (Chip: "Never heard of it, and frankly it sounds made up!") to microgreens (which Krause uses atop his gourmet burgers, though we'd much prefer a comforting slab of iceberg).

By far the boys favorite trend, however, is "carnival foods," such as funnel cakes,"which are finally getting the respect they deserve in Kansas City."

Chip: "I've always said that a funnel cake should be considered a main dish, especially when paired with fries."

Richard: "This post seems to contain at least two Seinfeld references already."

Full article from InkKC is here:


It's almost impossible to ignore Kanye West these days, especially on Twitter, where he tweets thoughts such as this about 60 times per day:

"Like yo this Mark Rothko is the shit! You see it works. This is a break through people. I now know how to communicate art! YES!!!!"

But how is his new album, which officially drops next week? According to Rolling Stone's 5 star review, it's pretty much the greatest thing recorded by anyone, ever:

"In "Dark Fantasy," he rhymes "mercy, mercy me, that Murcielago" with "diablo," "bravado" and "My chick in that new Phoebe Philo/So much head, I woke up in Sleepy Hollow."

Chip: "Wait, I thought Sleepy Hollow was headLESS?"

Personally, we hate rap that makes us work, and we had to look up two references from that single excerpt.


According to a piece in today's UDK, two women recently reported witnessing a man masturbating to porn on the Watson Library computers. The Public Safety Office issued this statement: "Unfortunately, the reported incident did not meet the strict requirements of the statute on indecent exposure." (since the women did not actually witness the man's penis).

Chip: "I've always been a little nervous about rubbing out out in the library, but that's about to change!"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The LC's Pop Culture Corner: Runaway Trains, Sarah Palin's Alaska, and Captain Chanute's Celebrity Sighting!

This weekend at the box-office we've moved on from the topics of recent weeks, such as 3D puking, invisible demons, sawn off 3D body parts, and masturbating dogs. It's all about runaway trains right now. Yes, the newest Denzel Washington/Tony Scott collaboration is drawing big crowds. What did the boys think?

Richard: "The movie tips from awesome to brilliant when it begins a series of repeated cuts to a group of Hooters' waitresses who are watching the runaway train saga unfold on television...and bouncing up and down with excitement. We hope this technique becomes standard for all future action films."

Chip: "I wish there could be an action film set in Lawrence, possibly The Day After, Part II, so that this technique could be employed using Quinton's waitresses."


Tonight is the premiere of the 8-part TLC documentary series Sarah Palin's Alaska. The boys are celebrating by hosting an ironic "tea party" in which they and their guests will be (cross) dressing as "Mama Grizzlies" and making snarky comments. Get in touch for directions to Chip's place.


We haven't had any exciting celebrity encounters in Larryville in quite some time (perhaps not since Chip urinated next to Coach Self at the Yacht Club). But our New York friend Captain Chanute found himself out hobnobbing with the beautiful people this weekend. Here's his report:

"Though it started off simply enough, last night was incredibly fucking hip for me. On a night where the only premise was for the Captain to sneak off to hip Williamsburg to drink whisky until he couldn't feel feelings, the Captain decided to set up shop in a new, hip spot called The Legion.

After a handful of shots and a couple 3$ Atomic Lagers (the Captain guesses this is old, poured-out Budweiser repackaged as a cold, refreshing draught with a weird aftertaste--very hip), the comfortably-numbed Captain noticed a star in his presence. Michael C. Hall had made an appearance at the bar and was currently standing within inches of our hero.

Momentarily stunned, the Captain gave him an ocular patdown. In real life, M.C.H. isn't a midget like Tom Cruise, is pretty broad-shouldered and he tends to wear about the same thing he wears on "Dexter." Yes, his celebrity aura was as intoxicating as the Evan Williams. Nonetheless, despite the Captain's better judgment, he asked to take no photos with his phone (though he tried in vain to snap one before dropping the goddamn thing and missing the opportunity) or autographs like the rest of the starry-eyed, starstruck wastoids.

Rather, the Captain enjoyed another libation (or four) and watched from afar as Mr. Hall picked out the hottest girl in the bar, bumped and ground (grinded?) to two songs then wisped her away into the night--probably to fuck her then tie her down and murder her in deliberate, methodical fashion before cutting her up, placing her (dis)members in trash bags and dumping them in the East River.

Yes folks, the Captain and Dexter himself were good company last night to many hip individuals. Though we ended up in different places by eve's end, the Captain thanks M.C.H. for being a hip sideshow for the night. The Captain also thanks White Castle for pumping him full of chemical sliders that undoubtedly dampened an immense whisky hangover. Finally, the Captain thanks himself for this wonderful opportunity to experiment in third-person self-reference: Now that's hip!"

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Local Literary Event of the Day / Also: Pretentious Hipster Musical Project of the Week

Are you aware of the existence of Johnny America, Larryville's "little magazine of fiction, humor, and other miscellany?"

Visit their website here:

And stop by the Pig tonight from 6:00-9:00 where they'll be celebrating the release of their eightth 'zine."

And enjoy this excerpt from a piece called "The Antietam Whore" by Shawn MADDEY, which Chip has pronounced the sexiest thing he's read in ages:

"Her sex was what I found most sexy about her. The way her sex glistened her eyes; the way she would sex all her sextences into a sextion at the end; how she would sex up in the middle of the night after sexing sexmares and need to be sexed and have a lullaby sexed to her before she could sex back to sexleep; even the way she would sex all the blanketsex in bed."


Do you love it when pretentious bands do pretentious things? We do, so we're closing a keep eye on Matt Friedberger (of The Fiery Furnaces), who is "releasing eight solo albums exploring the "Cretan-Lacedaemonian principle" (AV Club). Here are the details from the official press release:

"His 6+2 record set, Solos, in which he plays only a single given instrument per album (though not necessarily the same actual individual example of the single given instrument), is designed to illustrate the following Cretan-Lacedaemonian principle. Every group of instruments against every other group of instruments; every instrument against every other instrument; and especially, every instrument against itself, all alone."

You can download the first single, "Shirley," from the piano album here:

But we think you'd be better off downloading the much-less pretentious LC theme song from our sidebar.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The LC's Weekend Cultural Guide: The Bard vs. @BARRR / Also: Sexy DVD Pick of the Week

Perhaps you're tired of the same old hipster haunts and in need of a little culture this weekend. Consider KU's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, which has the distinction of being the first full-length North American OP production of the Bard.

Chip: "Does OP signify that the play will be modernized and set in Overland Park, with the four young lovers driving SUV's?"

No, Chip. It stands for original pronunciation, and the cast has been working closely with a renowned Shakespearean scholar for months to get it right. Are locals excited? Let's check the LJ-World talkback.

Sad_Lawrencian says: "I watched the video [clips of this production]; these people sound like idiots."

And the boys saw it last night. Were they impressed?

Richard: "I like any play that allows me to get onstage for a dance party."

Chip: "Several of the lady faeries gave me a total boner. They were just so...flexible."

If you're not in the mood for high-culture (or you're looking for a different kind of "high" culture, meaning "Drugzzz," as BARRR would say), you should seek out a secret weekend house show where Larryville's favorite podcaster will be performing a stand-up set. We know where it is (and we're even invited), but we're sworn to secrecy, because only the hippest of hipsters are allowed (and those like us, who are unhip but contribute to local hipness).


Readers, do you love watching people fuck but occasionally long for something "artsier" than what's available in the back room of Miracle Video? Consider checking out Destricted, a compilation of short films by cinematic provocateurs like Matthew Barney, Larry Clark, and Gaspar Noe, which "attempt[s] to crossbreed the world of adult film with that of legit cinema." (Variety).

The film premiered at Cannes a few years back, to terrible reviews, and is just now hitting DVD shelves this week. Based on these excerpts from a piece in Variety, we find ourselves more than a little intrigued:

"Matthew Barney's "Hoist" is a typically symbolic effort that seems to depict a bizarre mating ritual between a man (played by Barney) who has what looks to be a giant cucumber for a penis and what is identified by the press notes as a 50-ton deforestation Caterpillar truck."


"Gaspar Noe's "We Fuck Alone,"...overdoses on the strobe-lighting effects of Noe's previous "Irreversible" as it humorlessly depicts one man's encounter with a plastic blow-up doll."

Richard: "It's up next in my Netflix queue!"

Chip: "I'm planning a triple feature with Michael Winterbottom's 9 Songs and John Cameron Mitchell's Shortbus."

Go here to see the trailer:

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The LC Has a Downloadable Theme Song, The City of Larryville Has An "Official" New Blog, and Chip Has a Ph.D!

Readers, we encourage you to devote a few minutes of your day to downloading and listening to the LC's official theme song (click link in sidebar). Yes, that's Sugar Dick himself (Richard) on lead vocals, supplemented by The Leotards, Stephanie Stix and King Tosser, who are about to be big in this town...we're talking Transmittens big!.

We recommend playing the song each time you tune in to the LC, as it rewards repeat listening (our personal favorite moments right now are Dick and Stix trading vocals on a repetition of Hamm's at the two minute mark, which builds into an orgasmic crescendo from Stix, and also the moment, soon after, in which King Tosser follows Richard's assertion that "Chip has a boner tonight" with a playful series of guitar licks that somehow suggest a boner).


We like to think of ourselves as the "unofficial" blog of Larryville, but you might want to check out a new blog billing itself as "The official blog of the City of Lawrence, KS":

The first entry assures us that, "in most cases, comments will be left on. We disagree with the concept of having a blog only to have the comments turned off, leaving the discussion one-sided."

We're guessing, however, that it's easy enough to leave a comment which will be removed. Go test it out.


As of this morning, Chip (or, more accurately, the man behind the myth of "Chip") joins the ranks of numerous long-time LC writers, contributors, and readers who have PhD's, such as Dr. (Sugar) Dick, Dr. C (the Colorado gentleman), Dr. X (the mysterious vulgarian), and Dr. Cl.thier (the poetic troubadour...does he still read this blog?).

If you know Chip (or feel like you know Chip after having read his remarks for awhile), congratulate him.

Chip: "I have a feeling my boner jokes are about to become a lot more intelligent."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Facebook Group of the Week / Local Collective of the Week: Team Bear Club

Unhappy with the release of the George W. Bush memoir this week, a Facebook group has arisen called "Subversively move George W. Bush's memoir to crime section in book shops," the goal being to "Make bookshops think twice about where they categorize our generation's greatest war criminals." The group currently has 4679 members (Richard: "Make that 4680!") and encourages people to post photos of their subversiveness.

Chip: "I'm going to be conducting some stakeouts at Borders and, if I catch any Eastsiders attempting such a stunt, I'm prepared to make a citizen's arrest."

Here's a photo from the group:

And go here to join the group yourself:!/group.php?gid=126089424106953


Now that the long-running Neon dance night is no more, it's time for the hippest kids to reclaim the dance party scene, and our Twitter buddies from Team Bear Club are up to the challenge. The Pitch (notice we didn't say offers an excellent profile of the hip-hop collective this week, which includes this sentence:

"With influences that range from J Dilla and Diplo to Soulja Boy and, Canty says, "Topeka grittiness," Team Bear Club's sound is hip-hop as only well-educated Midwesterners could fashion it."

Chip: "They make me grind, AND they make me think."

Read the piece here:

And go here to read more and download some tunes, such as the album below:

And study this photo to see how many Team Bear Club members you've partied with:

And make sure to attend their Jackpot "Swag Thursdays" party tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Locals Fight To Keep Dillons Dirty! / Larryville Gets An Important New Holiday Event / NY-Times Reviews The Instructions

As expected, locals showed up en masse last night at a meeting at Central Junior High to discuss plans for the razing and renovation of "Dirty Dillons":

"Some residents offered suggestions for improvements to the store, such as a mural painted by a local artist on the back of the building, or a locally owned coffee shop inside the building instead of a Starbucks" (LJ-World).

Chip: "This is East Larryville at its very worst. You offer them a nice, modern building and they want to muck it up with 'art.'"

And, in the online talkback to the article, deskboy04 makes an important point:

"I hope that they still sell the chicken gizzards. They are fantastic. You can't get them at KFC."

Richard: "Indeed, the lack of gizzards would be a dealbreaker for me too, except that I can also get them at the 6th Street Dillons and at Checkers."


Larryville already has numerous important holiday events, such as the night when Santa lands on Weaver's Department Store roof and has to be rescued by local firemen and the night that Art Dodge puts on a Santa cap and plays holiday standards in the Tap Room basement while calling himself Dusty Rhodes. But an important new event is coming to town on December 11, and we urge you to participate.

It's the first-ever Larryville installment of an event called Santa Con:

"SantaCon is for adults - where guys & girls of legal age dress up like Santa and go cavorting around town for no better reason than that it's huge fun."

Chip: "I love cavorting and am also a fan of gamboling."

Go here for more details:

And follow the Larryville event here:

We've been in touch with some of the organizers directly, and they've assured us that there will also be "frolicking" and "prancing."


If you're a literary hipster, you're obligated to read everything published by McSweeneys, especially when it's a 1030 page tome about a Chicago kid who might be the Messiah. Our friend Dr. X is meticulously working his way through Adam Levin's The Instructions now, and we hope for a review from him when he finishes (sometime late next year). In the meantime, the NY-Times has beat him to the punch with a not-so-flattering review (in which the reviewer also chastises readers for not reading his own super-long Jewish novel and claims that no one will ever finish The Instructions: prove him wrong, Dr. X!):

"As in the Talmud, there isn’t much plot, just water-fountain tattle, summaries, lists and, interspersed, charts and strange doodled maps that only distract."

Chip: "I'd rather read the Talmud."

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Boys Read the GQ (British Version) "Guide to Hipster Women" / Scenester Pick of the Day

We've been showcasing an important new article on hipsterism each week and today's may be the most important yet: a piece called "Guide to Hipster Women" from the British GQ.

Here's a representative excerpt from the piece:

"In recent years, the Hipster Girl, far from that mysterious creature spotted in Western society's white, middle-class cultural youth hubs - Hoxton Square in London, Williamsburg in New York, or the Mission District in San Francisco - has landed slap-bang in the middle of the road...Hipster Girls are everywhere, and have become very big business.

Vintage band T-shirts taken from her mother, lumberjack shirts found in Help The Aged, skinny jeans torn from Iggy Pop's carcass, Bob Dylan's Ray-Ban wayfarers: the 21st-century Hipster Girl magpies the cool stuff from decades past and assembles it in a smorgasbord of appropriated Hipness."

The article also classifies hipster girls into various categories, our favorite being "austerity girl," whose characteristics are amusingly delineated as follows:

"Makes her own lemonade; describes the process of being drunk as "getting tight" despite never having read Brideshead Revisited; endlessly extols the virtues of Sixties line bras; loves receiving mail from admirers ("and by that I mean 'actual' letters rather than those impersonal, indifferent electronic notes, darling!"); can't abide the philistine indoor smoking ban; plays nothing but Vera Lynn on 7ins vinyl; enjoys kinky "bunker" sex to the sound of a WWII air-raid siren."

Chip: "The kinky Larryville equivalent of that final sexual preference is 'enjoys sex outdoors while roleplaying Quantrill's Raid.'"

The article closes with a list of the top ten "hipster heroines," with number one being...Chloë Sevigny:

"The absolutely unimpeachable princess of downtown NYC anti-cool since 1994, Chloë has a weirdly fleshy face and dresses like an undergraduate performance-art project or a walking jumble sale - sorry, thrift store. No wonder she remains, without any eye-shadow of a doubt, the Hipster Girl crush to end all Hipster Girl crushes. Like, ever!"

Richard: "I thought her hipness peaked with the blowjob scene from The Brown Bunny? And how can she still be hip after the not-very-good-at-all recent season of Big Love?"

Go here to learn many important things:


Tonight's Replay show is a band called Nuclear Power Pants (pants, not plants, get it!?), which contains members of the Dan Deacon Ensemble. That fact alone should lure you out. Remember when you all packed the Jackpot a few years ago to hear Deacon make funny noises?

If that isn't enough to get you interested, how about this interweb review:

"From the opening skree of Flipper-feedback on “Got Soul, Need Body,” density is key."

We love any song that begins with dolphin noises, so count us in. See you at the Replay.

Chip: "Actually, I'm headed to the Black Swans show at the Tap Room, since we need to cover both of them."

Meet Nuclear Power Pants:

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The LC's Box-Office Round-up / The Boys Record a Theme Song for the LC!

Readers, is it just us, or has it been especially great to be a moviegoer for the past month? Four weeks ago we all shelled out a record amount of cash to be puked and pissed on (in 3D) by the Jackass gang. Three weeks ago we invested our hard-earned cash to stare at static shots of a few rooms, punctuated by occasional doors opening of their own accord which made us squueeeeal like little girls (Paranormal Activity 2). Last week, as Halloween tradition dictates, we contributed to the undying success of the Saw franchise (with body parts hacked off in 3D this time around!). And this weekend Todd Phillips' raunchy follow-up to The Hangover, Due Date, delighted us all with about 35 close-ups of a dog, making us all say "Awwww" every.single.fucking.time. (it opened at #2 behind 3D superheroes) Here's our favorite review of Due Date so far (from the NY-Times):

"Regurgitation and a self-pleasuring dog define the limits of the new film’s ambitions."

Chip: "I laughed so hard at that masturbating dog that I drowned out the five minutes worth of dialogue immediately following the masturbating dog, so I had to watch the film twice in a row, but then the same thing happened again. Can anyone tell me what was said during the five minutes after the dog masturbated?"


Last night the boys holed up in a studio with Larryville's greatest underground hipster band, The Leotards, to record a theme song for The Larryville Chronicles. (if you are hip enough, you may have once seen the band recently emerge from hiding and play with the Vigilantes at a local house party). The band consists of Stephanie Six on sultry vocals, simulated sex noises, and Too Short rap interludes, complemented by the penetrating guitar riffs (and Manchester attitude) of local punk scholar King Tosser. After a few cases of PBR (and some Hamm's) the boys emerged with a three minute masterpiece in which they contributed lead vocals to a song that encapsulates most of what interests them (beer, bands, boners, and venues, with the venues being chanted and followed up by the memorable intonation of "These are the only places that are hip enough for us to go."). Once the track is mixed to the high standards of The Leotards, we hope to offer an MP3 link in our sidebar so you can judge for yourself: Is it art, or isn't it? (but we assure you that it IS).