Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Final Fridays Coverage Begins (Again) ; Campus Event of the Week: Sextival! / DVD Picks

Readers, if you're anything like us you're looking forward to gawking at and talking pompously about some art that you'd never actually consider purchasing during the second Final Fridays this week. We don't have our full trajectory planned yet, but here are a few certain stops for us:

1) The Pig is hosting an opening called "Anecdotes of the Undead," which we can only assume involves zombies. Count us in.

2) Wonder Fair is hosting an opening called "Golden Corral," which reminds us of that delicious all-you-can-eat-buffet restaurant of the same name. It features works by the old guard (Stan Herd) and the new (Molly Murphy). Keep a PBR cold for us, @BARRR, because we plan to mingle. The artist known as Jouvelt is also involved, somehow, and all artists with one-word names are important.

3) We were vocal in our disappointment with Love Garden's first Final Friday offering, but this time they are promising an actual art opening with tunes from Suzannes Johannes, whose rhyming name never fails to delight us. Save a Hamm's for us!


Wescoe Beach is hosting an event this week known as a "sextival" and described as a "celebration of positive sexuality." We don't know exactly what goes on at a "sextival," but we can only assume that, at some point, a spontaneous orgy will break out, and we want to be around for that. The advertising for the events contains fascinating sex-related facts, such as:

"Vigorous sex for half an hour burns 150 calories."

Chip: "Let's just say I'm probably not going to lose much weight from boning."


"...up to 40% of people who use condoms do so incorrectly."

40% percent?! Are people wearing them on their heads?

Chip: "I think they are meant to cover the dingus."


AICN is doing us a real service lately in keeping us posted on 70's softcore erotica re-releases. This week brings us, Red Hot Zorro, "a soft core early 1970’s French/Spanish Zorro erotica."

And if you're looking for a holiday gift for our good friend Dr. C out in Colorado, look no further than this (but avert your eyes if you don't like naked asses).

Chip: "I suspect 'Cheeky' is a sexual innuendo, referring to her ass cheeks."


Dr. C said...

I certainly wouldn't object to Volume II, but I don't have volume I yet, and it has the most delectable Cosi Fan Tutti on it:

Just in case anyone is thinking of getting me a present.

And what would our Chronicler hope to get from Santa?

Chip said...

Is there a new Pocket Pussy on the market?

Keith said...

This is squaresville, Richard. Nunsploitation! Now that's a genre to sink your sugar dick into.