Chip: "Sounds good but I have just one question: Why would anyone pity a dude with a huge cock? I think the reviewer meant to say 'envy.'"
Richard: "It does sound good, but it's going to be hard to top television's other show about a well-endowed man: HBO's Hung."
For cinematic thrill-seekers who aren't afraid to venture beyond Marmaduke's multiplex fart jokes, The Human Centipede, this year's most controversial cinematic provocation, has arrived at KC's Screenland for special late-night screenings. The Pitch offers this succinct plot description (which those with weak stomachs might want to skip):
"The plot: A German doctor has captured some luckless tourists with the goal of surgically attaching them, mouth to rectum, to make a single, not very efficient digestive tract."
Richard: "I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather watch Sex and the City 2."
Chip: "Will this be as enjoyable as the '2 Girls 1 Cup' video?"
Richard: "I also have a sick feeling that I'll see some fucking hipsters portraying The Human Centipede at the Replay next Halloween."
And Sunday brings us MTV's movie awards, which throws all notions of film-as-art out the window and offers nominations in categories such as "Best WTF Moment" (this year's nominees in that category include Megan Fox's projectile vomiting in Jennifer's Body and Bill Murray's surprise cameo in Zombieland.
Richard: "If Bill Murray doesn't win this, there is no justice in MTV's Movie Awards."
But who are we rooting for in the "Best Kiss" category.
Chip: "OMG! I'm for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in Twilight: New Moon, of course."
Richard: "I'm for Stewart and Dakota Fanning in The Runaways, but how did Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body get left out here? I have beat off to that scene so many times."
Happy viewing, readers: