Today's Hipster Pick (Complete with Obligatory Michael Jackson References) / Also: Recent Concert Reviews

Readers, it's a safe bet that, even as we speak, local hipsters are organizing a major musical tribute to Michael Jackson that will likely include: Drakkar Sauna reworking the upbeat "ABC" into an eerie funereal march; Black Christmas performing an extended 40-minute version of "Thriller" featuring a video installation of zombies and war footage; and a "secret" headlining appearance that serves as the long-awaited reunion of beloved late-90's local funk act Jesse Jackson Five.

But that's a few weeks down the road. In the meantime, you'll have to be content with yet another performance of "Secret Diaries," an all-star hipster tribute to the music of Twin Peaks (featuring, naturally, Ms. Suzannes Johannes singing the Julee Cruise parts). This "fully orchestrated" event is emerging from the Taproom tonight and headed for the big stage (down the street at the Jackpot).

Richard: "As much as I know about the work of David Lynch, I'm almost certain to get laid here, but I'm a little afraid that I'll pick up some freaky chick that wants me to call her Laura Palmer or something."

Chip: "This post is too esoteric!"

Richard: "No, I don't think The Esoteric is involved in the Peaks show."

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As we predicted early in the week, the "secret" Phoenix show at the Record Bar on Tuesday was perhaps the hipster event of the year, attracting a line that reportedly stretched around the strip mall with people still being turned away. The boys, obviously, are far too hip to trek over to KC for such an event, so we're left to rely on the Pitch's concert review of this French buzz band.

Any band opening a show such as this is both lucky and doomed (massive exposure, but in a room where everyone wants you the fuck off the stage immediately). Pitch reporter Jason Harper takes the easy route and opts to slag the opener, Brooklyn's Amazing Baby (even including a moderately amusing Dirty Dancing reference):

"At one point, the singer boy polled the audience about which was the best barbecue joint in town, and many in the crowd were foolish enough to respond. He may as well have asked us to show him our buck teeth and Toby Keith albums... Baby was done by 9 p.m. -- 30 minutes after it started -- and then went and put itself in a corner."

Harper happily boards the hipster-train and praises Phoenix, however:

"However diminutive, these birds brought a big, bright sound, bouncing into "Listzomania," the leadoff track from their newest, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix like boisterous kids jumping on a bed after school before their parents get home. The crowd mirrored the band's enthusiasm; many had been waiting for this moment for hours."

Richard: "In the last sentence, I assume he's referring to the literal hours the hipsters waited in line, but he could just as well have been referring to the amount of time most people in the crowd have actually known this band existed."