Saturday, July 10, 2010

Kickball Coverage / Ridiculous One-Man Band of the Day / "Baby Gaga" Contest on InkKC

Tomorrow night's Hobbs match-up between the Eastsiders and Slow Ride Roadhouse may not officially be the "game of the week," but it's getting a lot of press nonetheless. Let's check in with Sunday(s) in the Park for their take on the matter:

"The Eastsiders are still rebuilding the pieces of their KVKL legacy team. They have a core group of veteran, skilled women who have kept the team together and recruited a bunch of young, athletic guys who have demonstrated a quick learning curve. Slowride is coming out of the “pool of death” battle tested and ready, with an impressive win over Jazzhaus, a narrow loss to Red Lyon, and a convincing win over interpool opponent Liberty Hall. PREDICTION: winner gets bragging rights on the podcast. Here’s for some Cougar trash talk E 9 S 8"

Richard happened to be at Free State last night where most of the Eastsiders had gathered to talk shit about the game. Here's what he overheard:

Honorable Reverend H: "The Eastsiders haven't lost a single game since I rejoined the team and I don't see it happening against a bunch of biker pussies."

See you at Hobb's tomorrow at 7:00.


If you missed Tuesday's NoBunny show but are still hoping to catch something utterly ridiculous this week, consider The Emotron at the Replay tonight. Yes, it sounds like a torture device in which one is strapped down and spun around and forced to listen to the entire oeuvre of Dashboard Confessional, but actually it's a one-man band described on the interweb as "a whirling dervish of high energy, synth-pop/punk songs thrown together in a sequencer and belched out live on stage in one of the most over the top, totally committed, maniacal, one man band performances in the history of music."

And here's a live review of an Emotron show:

"This dude is one of the best performers around, I swear. 7 outfit changes (including a leotard and zebra striped tights) and a crotch fire later we’re all sweaty and out of breath from dancing and smiling to classics like “As Your Teenage Vagina Bleeds,” “1989,” and other things that can probably get you arrested."

A chorus of Larryville hipsters: "Awww, this sounds great but I was planning to join all my friends at the Old Canes gig at the Jackpot tonight and talk loudly in the back during their entire set."

Your loss, hipsters.


Since continues to suck, we find ourselves turning more and more to coverage in InkKC, which still produces a hard copy (whose first pages reveal that it is staffed almost entirely by women we'd love to bone) and features awesome contests such as the "Baby Gaga" competition, in which readers are asked to submit photos of their offspring dressed as Lady Gaga.

Chip: "I'll bet a lot of the entries come from the gay baby scene in Larryville."

Go here for a chance to win a contest and permanently scar your beloved children.


@BARRR said...

whoa...pretty sure you posted this while I was commenting earlier. I want 3 more posts today while I'm stuck at Wonder Fair.....ENTERTAIN ME!

I might just have drunk thru most of this said...

Hey, Hey -- Fuck you, Fatty!

We do not live to entertain your shit.

While we may, in fact, entertain your shit -- but we are not fucking performance art. This is fucking brilliant newsworthy commentary on the lazyass fuckrods of Lawrence and their mischief.

That fact that no one here ever seems to get laid should entertain you enough (present company excluded of course... )... the wilted cocks of this fucknut breathe the holy discourse of the lothario and the lecher and that shit should be good enough for you to get your rocks off the fuck rock candy mountain.

And sometimes Kip fucks a farm animal. It's like that Marky Mark shit -- except it's with his dick in a goose!

Pedestrian Mutha Fucka. Now where is the talk about fucking predators?

--That's even more 1980's than this shit about kicking balls....

...although if there's some kinda naked titty (women-only you harry bastards) chick league where they kick a ball, run to first, licky honey offfa titty... run to second... and then just fuck -- well, I would like to hear about that as it sounds like an impressive league full of go-getters.

dick in a goose said...

Chip calls that game "Fuck Fuck Goose."

Get it? Get it!?

Shtik Man said...

I like how Richard is more impressed by the moustached hipster dumbfuck than he is by the young lady in style scout this week. Not even a fucking comment.

What should have been written: "See ladies, this is a fine example of how you don't need to be beautiful to become attractive..."

How will Richard develop his satire now that he is in direct dialogue with the butt of his shtick?

Bilbo said...

An excellent question.

Can one have his PBR and drink it too?

--Answer: Yes, as long as he has the toilet paper to care for the diarrhea.