Friday, November 13, 2009

This Week in Larryville / Recent Concert Reviews

In this new series, we try to offer a concise summary of the most important local events for those of you who are too lazy to tune in on a daily basis. Here we go:

Following their fourth consecutive loss, KU football message boards were bombarded with thoughts this week regarding's mysterious, increasingly poor performances. One prominent theory: a little too much cocaine use at Johnny's each Thursday (Richard: "Well, it is widely known that Thursday is 'cocaine night' at Johnny's.").

Plans to blow up part of the old Kansas River bridge along the Kansas Turnpike were finalized: first blast is this Sunday at 12:30. Local rednecks are invited to a 'watch party' at Burcham Park. (Chip: "Finally, an event for the rest of us!").

Plans were also finalized to launch three butterfly larvae (KU's beloved Monarchs) into space to reside on the International Space Station. After reading today's article, the boys can't really figure out the purpose, but it's still pretty fucking cool, don't you think? (Chip: "Butterflies are pretty.").

And finally, a dog, Tinker, missing for eight months, was reunited with his owner. Full story today on the front page of the LJ-World. (Richard: "There's no joke here, folks. It's just a lovely, inspiring story.").


Har Mar Superstar, the pudgy hipster rocker with the Prince-like voice and penchant for performing in his underwear, rocked KC this week. The boys couldn't make it, but luckily the Pitch's Wayward Blog sent their sole female reviewer out to cover the spectacle. Was she impressed?

"I know some people came to see Har Mar because they'd been promised the spectacle of some nasty dude who thinks he's Prince. I hope they realized that the guy's no joke. Sure, he took the stage in orange jeans, silver sneakers and an Egyptian-print dashiki over a shirt with parachute sleeves and gold-sequined arm cuffs...
The man has soul...I screamed for "Power Lunch" after the set's finale, "Tall Boy," but to no avail. Har Mar had a plane to catch. And I had to go wring out my underwear."

Richard: "It's not well-known, but hipster chicks are surprisingly slutty. The thing is, many impoverished hipster bands need a place to crash after shows, which provides plenty of opportunities for local hipster chicks to sleep with band members, which they do primarily for hipster bragging rights, such as: 'I totally blew the bass player from Satan's Persimmons back in the day when they were still playing the Replay and not even big enough to play the Jackpot.' "

Here's a picture of Har Mar in action:


Satan's Persimmons said...

Now I'm really looking forward to our show at the Prelay--as soon as we have a band.

nog said...

I'll play bass.

See, I read the blog! said...

I'd like to see the dog fuck Kip.

Right in the brown eye. Yup.

cl.thier said...

I finally know why I can't get pretty women up and dancing like the women in Har Mar's crowd...I'm going to start eating as many donuts as I can get my hands on, start growing out my mullet, and only shopping for "clothes" at Sarah's Fabrics. Oh, and wearing briefs and only briefs. Maybe the Yacht Club will take me back.

local promoter said...

I don't know about the Yacht Club, but you can get easily get yourself a Jackpot gig with that behavior.