Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Larryville Case On Judge Judy! / Plus, the Boys Have a New Favorite Blog

Larryville's Bigg's Barbecue is widely known as the fratty barbecue joint (just as Yokohama is the sorority sushi joint), but owner Doug Holiday was so upset at his recent exorbitant fine for serving alcohol to a fake ID-using underage patron that he took his case all the way to the most respected court in the land, Judge Judy, after learning that the patron's fine for using a fake ID was actually less than the bar owner's.

The episode is slated to air locally today at 4:00 and the restaurant is hosting a watch party which "will include a special fake ID amnesty program. Holiday will give anyone turning in their fake ID a $10 gift certificate. Holiday then will destroy the fake IDs, not turn them into the police — or Judge Judy" (LJ-World).

Richard: "Yes, I'm sure kids will come out of the woodwork to let Holiday burn their beloved fakes in exchange for ten dollars worth of shitty ribs smothered in Bigg's special 'Jagermeister sauce.'"

Chip: "This is destined to be the most important case since Roe v. Wade."


Imagine the boys' delight (and erections) when yesterday they stumbled across a new blog on the LJ-World written by a local stripper who works at the Outhouse! Calling herself "Anna Undercover," the author offers her mission statement in her inaugural blog:

"I am not here to tell you how to feel about me, or my job. I am not here to tell you anything at all, really. Rather, I am writing this blog to show you stripping in Lawrence, Kansas, and offer you a source of information on an industry that appears at once both over- and under-exposed."

Chip: "The first problem is that she didn't bother to 'show' us a picture of herself."

True enough, but her profile information is quite intriguing. "Anna" loves movies ranging from Pineapple Express (not surprising) to Nights of Cabiria (pretty surprising).

Richard: "I'm totally going to get a lapdance from this chick while discussing Fellini with her."

Her first post offers none of the sordid details one might expect but instead focuses on her love of the job in a tone of almost-childlike wonder:

"Stripping feels amazingly different than I expected. What I was brought up to see as humiliating now feels so exciting and empowering. At a place we will affectionately refer to as the East Lawrence Ballet (ELB), I'm on top of customers physically and as well as in conversation. I have at least something most of them want: a pretty face to look at, skillful repartée, and other desirable aspects of the girlfriend (or even just friend) experience. A professional party girl, I gently but firmly guide every interaction from clever "pick-up" lines, through entertaining anecdotes and engaging conversation, to buying a lap dance. The challenge is a fun one and I have a great time doing it."

Chip: "It's really nice to know that the women enjoy grinding on my lap as much as I enjoy them doing it. I always suspected it was a beneficial transaction for everyone involved, but now I have the proof to go along with the boners."

You can read "Anna"s blog here:

1 comment:

cl.thier said...

Jagermeister sauce?!?! Count me in!