Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Boys Consider the NY-Times New Theories About Cougars!

Just because we haven't written about the phenomenon of "cougars" in awhile doesn't mean we've quit thinking about them (and banging them). An important article in yesterday's NY-Times "Sunday Styles" section entitled "In Cougar Territory, Cubs Take The Lead," suggests that it's no longer primarily the sexually ravenous older women who are doing the hunting but rather the cubs themselves, who are seeking out more experienced females due to their boredom with women their own age. A 27-year old graphic designer quoted in the piece, for instance, says he's grown weary of women who are into "immature partying and drinking, and being stupid and irresponsible."

Chip: "After two shots of Jagermeister, a sorostitute will do anything a cougar will do, sexually, and look--and feel--a hell of a lot better doing it. Cougars feel like worn leather."

The article also tipped the boys' off to the increasing popularity of "cougar/boy toy" speed-dating events and the existence of a website called www.urbancougar.com which advises cubs on popular cougar "dens" across the nation (such as Austin's in Olathe, Kansas!) and features elements such as the "cougar of the month," "cub chronicles," and "cougar confessions."

The boys have been enjoying the site so far and have found some excellent Christmas gifts (for themselves) in the merchandise section, such as this "urban cougar mousepad":

See you at Austin's in Olathe!


When Animals Attack! said...

See Beth the Cougar!

See Richard the Manther!

See Kip... The Werebitch... in:

Sexual Predators on the Prowl... with Kip, the Werebitch, acting like a jungle pygmy or something!

I don't have a script yet, but I think it's a lot like the Babysitters Club crossed with Encyclopedia Brown (and Nailin Palin!) where Richard and Beth are a couple of horny Private Dicks who take cases around Lawrence from drunk douchbags who have lost their pot... possibly their virginity!

For, when they come to Dick and Cuban's PI office, they pay out the ass. (and sometimes up it!) ...and Kip is the Gimp or some shit, all head to toe in leathers... confused becausehe can't unzip his eye zippers... and comically fucking a variety of sliced deli meats!

--I think it might be a little Black Dynamite as well!

Horny Private Dick said...

I'd watch this show!

(but it still won't be as good as VH1's Celebrity Sex Rehab!).

Dr. C said...

I'd watch that, too.

Although it's typically piss-poor fare, AskMen actually had a pretty good column on Milfs/cougars about a month ago:


beth said...

I'm not a cougar (yet)! I'm still a kitten.