Monday, October 25, 2010

Guest Column: The Captain Seeks (Rooftop) Vigilante Justice In NYC / Sports Photo of the Week: An Aggie Eats Cheese Balls!

Larryville's loudest hipsters are on the road and rocking CMJ in New York and our foreign correspondent, Captain Chanute, crossed paths with them over the weekend. Here's his report (and a dimly lit photo which the Captain says is of Hannah taking a break from her keyboards to rock the bass on the evening's final song, which we can only assume was the 'Mats "Can't Hardly Wait"):

"Out here in hip New York, we rarely experience things that cause us to let down our pretenses and enjoy pure artsmanship. Tonight, Larryvillains, was an exception. The Rooftop Vigilantes graced hip Brooklyn with its presence and they absolutely wowed. And your dear Captain was on the scene to report.

The Larryville champions of rock slipped in quietly to the softly-lit, red-toned bar scene (a la Jackpot) and set up quickly. On mere appearance, you would know them not from any other hipster platoon in Williamsburg; however, once the music started, one would have no choice but to take note of the out-of-town party responsible for raping the shit our of one's eardrums.

Yes, folks, Rooftop Vigilantes shocked and awed, their lightning warfare nearly too much for the smallish stage and elementary sound system (a la The pRelay) to handle. On stage, the mild-mannered Oscar screamed himself into chaotic disequilibrium, falling into walls and speaker stacks in cathartic release; the squirrelly Zach, keeping beat for the entire band blistering fiery bass lines, one after the other, into the crowd like a weathered infantryman; the unassuming Seth, maniacally smashing his drum heads in tune and breaking sticks in a stereo onslaught that reigned down fury over the venue; and the delectable Hannah, delicately fingering a waltz of horror, a micro-soundtrack to Rooftop's audio Blitzkreig. Indeed, Larryvillains, this was not a show to be missed.

Upon finishing, all four Vigilantes happily indulged in some friendly banter with our Hero, the Captain, and even let him buy them a beer on the LC budget (a can of Rolling Rock, because it's hipper than PBR). From there, they were to saddle up and ride on to their next gig, a 1230a massacre execution-style in the Bowery.

In close, aside from the all-out destruction of my eardrums and the subsequent display of genuine appreciation for their hometown fans, the Rooftop Vigilantes reminded the Captain of just how close to home he really was. From their seamless transition into the hipster masses to their retaining their almost-naive-yet-mature uniqueness, the RVs embodied a sense of nostalgia and pride for the Captain, forcing him to reminisce on our great Midwestern Mecca. Truly, the Vigilantes made me realize that this place we call NYC is much like a Quinton's waitress: it dresses up real nice and boy, it sure can suck a mean dick; but when it comes down to brass tacks, there's no one I'd rather settle down with than the tried-and-true, classy-yet-quirky woman that is Lawrence, Kansas.

Thanks, RV; you had me at 'hello.'"


Sure, every team in the Big 12 is capable of dealing our football team a severe thrashing, but that doesn't mean we can't still laugh at the redneck tendencies of the opposing teams' fans. Thanks to the Topeka Capital Journal for this photo of an Aggie muching on some cheese balls. Click to enlarge and have a laugh.


starving artist said...

Wait...the LC has a budget?

LC treasurer said...

One beer per article (as long as it's cheap beer).

The Captain said...

I do whatever it takes to get the story. If that means spending 40$ on Rolling Rock and shots of whisky to loosen myself- and the talent up, then so be it. Dr Nogs is always good for a payback.

And hell, if he's not, I'll take it out of Chip's ass.

Anonymous said...

Are we fucking Kip again?

Because I'll return for that!