Happy Halloween, Hipsters!

Were you out last night? Did you see us at a table at the Replay, dressed as our blog personas, Chip and Richard, and sitting with Lisa P (of Adventureland) and The Crow (who kept unhappily being mistaken for a member of Insane Clown Posse)? Well, we saw you, and we liked some of your costumes, perhaps especially the Yip Yip Martian from Sesame Street, who seemed to be having such a nice time dancing by himself in front of the DJ dressed as Prince. Props also to the guy dressed as "Shark Week" and to Kenny Fucking Powers, shouting Powers-isms across the room.

Yet somehow we felt that the hippest of the hip were not out last night, perhaps ceding Halloween-eve to the drunken amateurs and saving themselves for something tonight that's so hip that the poseurs don't know about it (such as the Bates Motel party hosted by the Burger Stand's Chef Bates, which will no doubt feature some delicious Hitchcockian inspired foodstuffs).

What else is hip tonight? Let us know, but chances are you'll find us in front of a television, eating delicious Halloween candy and watching AMC's The Walking Dead.

Are the horror fanboys excited? You fucking bet they are! And of course they've already downloaded and watched the leaked pilot last week. Let's take a look at an AICN review from PlayerHater_of_the_year: "Damn good show. First time I ever saw horse get eaten by zombies."

We're sold. Thanks, AMC!

The Boys Mingle With the Beautiful People at the Replay's Fashion Monsters Fashion Show

Readers, it's too bad that the LC can't afford to hire an official staff photographer, because much of what we witnessed at the fourth annual Replay Fashion Monsters Fashion Show gave us a boner. Hopefully, in a few months, L-Com and A. Ruscin will offer up some "party pics" of the event. Until then, let us know if you have some good photos we can borrow for humorous purposes.

Although we enjoyed the show, our appearance there was brief (we stayed till intermission), primarily because we found the overpacked crowd annoying. It's too bad the doormen can't administer some sort of hipster-quiz to weed out the element that doesn't really belong at such an event, such as the following people:

1) The drunk guy behind us who was loudly heckling the opening spiel about the Social Service league (yes, the spiel was too long and should have been saved for intermission, particularly after we'd all been made to wait an extra 35 minutes after the posted start-time, but it's a good charity, so shut up and wait five more minutes!).

2) The two (very young, surely too young to be there) dudes standing near us who stayed for only one group of models while proclaiming the event to be "totally gay" (Chip: "It's a fashion show, dummies!) and "totally retarded." They soon decided to "bounce" and "get their drink on" at the Jazzhaus. Too bad they didn't stay to witness the Westboro Baptist-inspired models (carrying "God hates PBR!" and "God hates after-parties!" signs), whose performance included an impressively protracted make-out session between two young men (Chip: "I honestly thought those guys were going to fuck onstage, and I found myself to be surprisingly okay with that.").

Verdict: two out of four PBR's, because it was damn near impossible to get to the bar to fetch another and because the event (at least the first half) was not always as horror-film inspired as we had been led to believe.

Sexy Pick of the Weekend and Your Weekend Hipster Itinerary

Sure, you COULD spend your Halloween weekend doing the normal scenester Larryville activities (ironically enjoying the Hall and Oates cover band at the Replay), but if you're more adventurous, like the boys, you could attend BOOBtacular Halloween Weekend. The Pitch tipped us off to this important event, which is a three-day house party hosted by "KC's longest-operating lifestyle-friendly club" (Club Erotica KC). The event begins today at an "undisclosed swinger location" which features an "indoor hot tub, love pit, massage table, stripper pole, and pool table."

Chip: "I'll bet the pool table is for fucking on as much as it is for playing billiards."

The event is free for single women but $75 for single men. We suspect it's worth it.

Go to www.cluberotica.kc if you're ready to swing (with Chip).

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If you remain in Larryville, you'll want to begin your evening at Final Fridays. Go here to check out @BARRR's interview with Briana Lauterbach, who makes art AND co-directs a bicycle collective:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-d-d/id393281425

Then go to the Percolator and try to beat us to the punch in purchasing Mike Hoffman's portrait of "Zombie Sal Maglie":




















And later in the evening you'll naturally want to visit the Replay's Fashion Monsters fashion show ("Nightmare on Mass. Street"), which features models "wearing new takes on classic scary films such as The Birds and A Clockwork Orange." There are always costumed Clockwork "droogs" at the Replay on Halloween, so now they'll be onstage as well.

And on Saturday at 8:00, you'll want to hit the Love Garden to celebrate the release of Drakkar Sauna's 45 on Jack White's Third Man record label. Here's the info from the record label:

"For their Blue 45 Drakkar Sauna perform the original compositions Leave That Hole Alone which questions the existence of anything beyond the self, even the suffering of saints; and Brundlefly, My Chariot which drinks deep, so as to taste of the plasma spring."

Chip: "I was hoping a song called 'Leave That Hole Alone' would be a little...sexier."

Richard: "To be honest, I grew sort of weary of Drakkar's eccentricity awhile back, but I never tire of their song titles. 'Brundlefly!' Fantastic Cronenberg reference, gents!"

The Boys Spend a Sophisticated Evening in the Theatre / Also, Style Scout and Final Fridays, Part III

The boys aren't always huge fans of musical theater (Chip: "Well, I do like Annie, that spunky little redhead. And Cats, of course. And Nunsense. I'm a sucker for a singing nun."). But they couldn't resist the lure of Spring Awakening last night at the Lied Center, a Tony-award winning Broadway musical featuring "brief nudity."

Richard: "I was on the fence about going at first. And then I came across this line in a review: 'There are other funny songs, like the ensemble number "My Junk," in which Devon Stone sings while masturbating in time under his nightshirt.' At that point, I knew I would pay any price to see this."

Chip: "The show is remarkable in its use of conservative, repressive late-19th century German society as a way of drawing parallels to our contemporary era. And I also liked the use of titties just prior to intermission, except that it gave me such a boner I couldn't even leave my seat during the 20 minute break."

Richard: "The late-play circle jerk, too, was also wonderfully symbolic of a world whose repressive values have locked its members into these unfruitful, unsatisfying, often perverse cycles of behavior."

Chip: "Well, in rural Kansas we don't consider a circle jerk to be perverse or unsatisfying, but I did think it was one of the most realistic stage portrayals of a circle jerk I've ever seen."

Verdict: a standing ovation (Chip: "And, yes, there's a boner joke embedded in that verdict, if you catch my meaning.").

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Now that we've complained to Lawrence.com this morning about their tardiness in publishing this week's Style Scout, they have remedied the situation and rewarded us with a look at David Hall, originally of Colombia, Missouri, who describes his style as "old-school prep Americana" and would like to see less "sidewalk hecklers and Missouri haters" in Larryville.

Chip: "Go back to Missoura, preppie!"

Take a look. Stylish, or no?




















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Tomorrow offers the third installment of Larryville's Final Fridays art walk and today we opt to promote The Percolator, which hasn't received much attention here of late but brings us a spooky opening tomorrow called "Imagined Ghosts: Tributes for Halloween and Day of the Dead." Artist Mike Hoffman is known for his "tramp art carving," which strikes us as very intriguing. Tramps as in hobos? Or tramps as in Quinton's waitresses? Either way, it's probably worth a look. See you there.

And head over to The Rathaus for extensive coverage of Final Fridays (remember the days when we might have said Lawrence.com instead of The Rathaus?):

http://rathausartprojects.com/blog/

The Boys Read An Important Article on Hipsterism

Readers, we realize that our investigation of Larryville hipster culture often consists primarily of easy jokes about PBR and the Replay (Chip: "Because that's primarily what local hipster culture consists of."), but occasionally we like to turn our attention to more trenchant critiques of such culture, written by people who actually get paid for their work.

One such piece is Mark Grief's "What Was The Hipster?," published in this week's New York Magazine. Notice the past tense in the title. The piece, among many other things, questions whether hipsterism is dying out (Chip: "Obviously, this guy hasn't been to the Tap Room lately"), whether we need a new term for hipsters ("fauxhemians," perhaps?), and also offers a brief history of hipsters and attempts to establish a definition for this elusive term.

Consider this excerpt:

"We do know what hipster means—or at least we should. The term has always possessed adequately lucid definitions; they just happen to be multiple. If we refuse to enunciate them, it may be because everyone affiliated with the term has a stake in keeping it murky. Hipster accusation has been, for a decade, the outflanking maneuver par excellence for competitors within a common field of cool. “Two Hipsters Angrily Call Each Other ‘Hipster,’ ” a headline in The Onion put it most succinctly.

The longer we go without an attempt to explain the term simply and clearly, the longer we are at the mercy of its underlying magic. In the interest of disenchantment, let me trace a history and offer some definitions. If we see the hipsters plain, maybe we’ll also see where they might come undone."

Richard: "Yes, this is EXACTLY why my definition of the term has always been so frustratingly wide-ranging: because I want to keep it magical!"

Chip: "There's nothing magical about drinking shitty beer."

So what IS Grief's definition of the hipster? Here it is:

"The hipster is that person, overlapping with the intentional dropout or the unintentionally declassed individual—the neo-bohemian, the vegan or bicyclist or skatepunk, the would-be blue-collar or postracial twentysomething, the starving artist or graduate student—who in fact aligns himself both with rebel subculture and with the dominant class, and thus opens up a poisonous conduit between the two."

Personally, we never knew that skatepunks could be hip, because they listen to such shitty music, but we love the idea of a "poisonous conduit" between classes (Chip: "Because, ensconced as I am in my dominant class, I certainly do feel poisoned by those fuckers.").

The article is full of important statements such as this:

"The most exemplary hipster artists are probably the early Dave Eggers, of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (2000) and his journal McSweeney’s (1998), and Wes Anderson, director of Rushmore (1998) and The Royal Tenenbaums (2001). These and other artists who were referred to as hipster produced a body of work that was otherwise classed more precisely as “precious” or “twee.”

Richard: "I believe one day the Transmittens will be added to this list."

Anyway, our point is: go read this piece if you want pseudo-academic hipster analysis. And continue to visit us if you want potshots at local "hipsterism," supplemented with boner jokes and pictures of Minka Kelly in various states of undress.

Read the full article here:

http://nymag.com/news/features/69129/

And here's a picture from the piece. Is that a ferret? Are ferrets hip?

Vote No On Library? / Spot That Scenester / The Boys Gaze at Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive

Readers, if you're a true local progressive, you've been shocked and outraged lately by a series of "Vote No For the Library" signs that have been popping up around town and threatening your sense of civic superiority. Luckily, the LJ-World today solves the mystery of where they are coming from. They are made by Micah Garber, owner of Garber Automotive, who says:

“I’ve seen a lot of the Vote Yes for the Library signs and I hadn’t seen any vote no signs. I just wanted to make sure people knew it was OK to think differently than everybody else.”

A chorus of local progressives: "It's certainly NOT okay when it comes to our library, Garber. We NEED an elegant reading room overlooking scenic Watson Park."




A. Rusc.n is back with "party pics" from the recent Kaw Valley Kickball Classic, which means we're back with another round of "Spot That Scenester" (which means that @BARRR is probably going to win his sixth straight PBR).

So, a free beer goes to the first to identify the scenesters in this strangely terrifying photo:




















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Each year the boys falsely believe that the "Sexiest Woman Alive" is one of their Quinton's waitresses, but each year Esquire comes along and corrects them. This year's sexiest woman alive is Minka Kelly, of Friday Night Lights. We can't argue much, as we've wanted to bone her since Episode 1.

Parents Television Council: "But she plays a high-schooler!"

Here's a picture from Esquire:




















Chip: "The mirror serves here as a metaphor for celebrity narcissism but also serves as a way to reveal both ass and breasts in the same shot. It's as clever as it is boner-inducing."

Guest Column: The Captain Seeks (Rooftop) Vigilante Justice In NYC / Sports Photo of the Week: An Aggie Eats Cheese Balls!

Larryville's loudest hipsters are on the road and rocking CMJ in New York and our foreign correspondent, Captain Chanute, crossed paths with them over the weekend. Here's his report (and a dimly lit photo which the Captain says is of Hannah taking a break from her keyboards to rock the bass on the evening's final song, which we can only assume was the 'Mats "Can't Hardly Wait"):

"Out here in hip New York, we rarely experience things that cause us to let down our pretenses and enjoy pure artsmanship. Tonight, Larryvillains, was an exception. The Rooftop Vigilantes graced hip Brooklyn with its presence and they absolutely wowed. And your dear Captain was on the scene to report.

The Larryville champions of rock slipped in quietly to the softly-lit, red-toned bar scene (a la Jackpot) and set up quickly. On mere appearance, you would know them not from any other hipster platoon in Williamsburg; however, once the music started, one would have no choice but to take note of the out-of-town party responsible for raping the shit our of one's eardrums.

Yes, folks, Rooftop Vigilantes shocked and awed, their lightning warfare nearly too much for the smallish stage and elementary sound system (a la The pRelay) to handle. On stage, the mild-mannered Oscar screamed himself into chaotic disequilibrium, falling into walls and speaker stacks in cathartic release; the squirrelly Zach, keeping beat for the entire band blistering fiery bass lines, one after the other, into the crowd like a weathered infantryman; the unassuming Seth, maniacally smashing his drum heads in tune and breaking sticks in a stereo onslaught that reigned down fury over the venue; and the delectable Hannah, delicately fingering a waltz of horror, a micro-soundtrack to Rooftop's audio Blitzkreig. Indeed, Larryvillains, this was not a show to be missed.

Upon finishing, all four Vigilantes happily indulged in some friendly banter with our Hero, the Captain, and even let him buy them a beer on the LC budget (a can of Rolling Rock, because it's hipper than PBR). From there, they were to saddle up and ride on to their next gig, a 1230a massacre execution-style in the Bowery.

In close, aside from the all-out destruction of my eardrums and the subsequent display of genuine appreciation for their hometown fans, the Rooftop Vigilantes reminded the Captain of just how close to home he really was. From their seamless transition into the hipster masses to their retaining their almost-naive-yet-mature uniqueness, the RVs embodied a sense of nostalgia and pride for the Captain, forcing him to reminisce on our great Midwestern Mecca. Truly, the Vigilantes made me realize that this place we call NYC is much like a Quinton's waitress: it dresses up real nice and boy, it sure can suck a mean dick; but when it comes down to brass tacks, there's no one I'd rather settle down with than the tried-and-true, classy-yet-quirky woman that is Lawrence, Kansas.

Thanks, RV; you had me at 'hello.'"














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Sure, every team in the Big 12 is capable of dealing our football team a severe thrashing, but that doesn't mean we can't still laugh at the redneck tendencies of the opposing teams' fans. Thanks to the Topeka Capital Journal for this photo of an Aggie muching on some cheese balls. Click to enlarge and have a laugh.

The Boys Catch the Space Madness From Janelle Monae!

Sure, last night's Homecoming over at Memorial Stadium may have been predictably miserable (45-10 against Texas A&M?), but there was a jubilant homecoming of a different kind at Liberty Hall, as a KC hero beamed back into the region for her first performance as a bona-fide superstar. Yes, Janelle Monae, the ArchAndroid her own self, touched down from the future at Liberty with an hour's worth of funky dance moves, a selection of dancing and boxing robots, a balloon drop, and a baffling interlude where she set up a large easel and drew what appeared to be (from our balcony vantage point) a pair of tits with LOVE written vertically down the middle.

Chip: "I think the sketch was a commentary on her own artistic process. As we see Monae literally 'doing art' onstage, resulting in a simple sketch of love and sex, we realize that beneath the carefully crafted complexity of her persona and stage show, she is really speaking to us on a basic, universal level. Also, her drawing gave me a stiffy."

Verdict for Monae's set: four out of four space beers! (and if you weren't there for Monae's set, we recommend telling people that you were, because it's going to become a local legend).

And to the guy in the restroom during Monae's set who was whining loudly about how he wished Of Montreal would come onstage already, you are an idiot, as their antics paled in comparison to the talent on display from Monae. Yes, readers, it's true. We never thought a man in a dress having simulated sex with a humanoid pig-creature could become boring, but that's exactly what happened during Of Montreal's set. When every song works that same white-boy disco/funk groove, your "performance art" can only take you so far.

Verdict for Of Montreal: 2 out of 4 hits of Ecstasy (because surely something more than beer was required to fully "get" their dance party hi-jinks).

The Boys Look at the Controversial GQ Glee Photos

But first off we'd like to congratulate The Will Nots on winning the Farmer's Ball last night. May you have a long and hip career in Larryville! (and notice, readers, that The Will Nots are one of the two bands we showcased here this week, surely proving that we have a good ear for what's hip in Larryville).

Now, on to the Glee photos. The sexy spread features cast members posing in Pout-by-Victoria's Secret bras and American Apparel panties and was immediately slammed by the Parents' Television Council:

"Many children who flocked to 'High School Musical' have grown into 'Glee' fans. They are now being treated to seductive, in-your-face poses of the underwear-clad female characters posing in front of school lockers, one of them opting for a full-frontal crotch shot. By authorizing this kind of near-pornographic display, the creators of the program have established their intentions on the show's direction. And it isn't good for families."

Chip: "It's not nearly pornographic enough, for my tastes, but should I be embarrassed by my boner? Both of these women are 24 years old. But yet they DO play high-schoolers on TV. This is one of the most confusing boners I've had in awhile."

What do you think, folks? Can you give Chip some advice on his boner? Here are a couple of the shots (click to enlarge that crotch shot...it's sort of like 3D!).

Cute Band of the Week / Redneck Pick of the Day / Local Author Makes the Canon

At the LC, we're always on the lookout for adorable new bands, and our pick this week is KC boy-girl duo Saharan Gazelle Boy (thanks to the Pitch for tipping us off to them). Here's a description from their MySpace:

"The melodramatic, synth-pop is the soundtrack for the shy, 1980s, pretty-but-doesn't-know-it high school girl in all of us."

We think our 80's-loving readers (such as the Captain and our friend Beth), might just fall in love with songs such as "Halfhair Girl."

Go here and listen: http://www.myspace.com/saharangazelleboy












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According to yesterday's Jayplay, Outlaw Jake and Domestic Violence will be performing at the Gaslight tonight. Presumably, the Outlaw (who also owns the Gaslight) has changed his band's name (they were formerly called Outlaw Jake and the Chain Gang). What do you think of the new name, readers? Edgy and hip? Or unfunny?

Our feminist readers: "I think you fucking know what we think."

Chip: "Oh, I didn't realize that 'Domestic Violence' was part of the band name. I thought it was just a description of the evening's activities north of the river."


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On a recent trip to Hastings, we were delighted to discover that a book written by our friend, local punk scholar King Tosser, is included in the "Required Reading" section, nestled quite cozily between Kafka and Heller. Yes, that's it with the banana on the cover. It's called Rebels Wit Attitude: Subversive Rock Humorists. Go buy it and make yourself more knowledgably hip. But don't buy that particular copy. Because it looks good there.

Style Scout Gets Sophisticated / More Farmer's Ball Coverage

Style Scout is too often full of country rubes who believe themselves to be savvy urban hipsters, so what a treat to check out the Scout today and discover the delightful Margaux DeRoux, 27, of Alaska, who dislikes "unoriginal American sloppiness" and says that her fashion influences are the "same as everyone": "I like Lou Doillon and Francoise Hardy. Growing up my dad had a thing for Jean Seberg, so I imprinted on that. I also really like Haider Ackermann, who makes crazy leather."

Yes, those are EXACTLY the same as our influences! Margaux is a waitress and, if you know where she works, please let us know, as we'd love to meet her and discuss Jean Seberg.

Readers, we vote "stylish" for Margaux! Do you?




















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Perhaps the Farmer's Ball competition has lost a little of its hipster luster over the years, but it's still an important opportunity to catch up-and-coming local bands before they move on to bigger and better things, such as...playing to tiny audiences in the TapRoom basement.

Yesterday we lent some LC support to Radar Defender, but today we turn our attention to The WillNots, who feature this information on their MySpace page:

"In 2007 the Will Nots got together with fellow musician Yossarian Cardin-Ritter, and tapped into an initiate known as, The Screaming Lantch. During this time, the Will Nots became the ILL KNOTS, manifesting themselves as messengers from past worlds, both light and dark."

Personally, we wish they were STILL the Ill Knots, a band that apparently held "drum seances." But they're still pretty hip anyway. Check them out here:

http://www.myspace.com/willnotsmusic

The Boys Play Larryville's New Public Piano / Righteous Local Indignation of the Week / Farmer's Ball Coverage Begins

Readers, have you stopped by Cottin's Hardware to play the new public piano outside the store? Here's the scoop on public pianos from the LJ-World:

"What started this summer with 60 pianos as part of a public-art exhibition in New York City has expanded into downtown Iowa City and, just recently, even the south-central Kansas town of Hutchinson"

Apparently the Larryville piano is getting some use. Assistant manager Joe Cottin says: "“We’ve had people who can play full concertos and whatnot, playing them all the way through...We’ve also had people playing ‘Chopsticks.’ Little kids play while their parents shop. Kids from the junior high stop by on their way home from school."

Chip: "I stopped by recently to offer a performance of Forttt Scottt's favorite drinking songs, all of them absolutely filthy. And I ran away when the cops were called."

According to the article, there is also talk of installing public pianos downtown as well. We certainly hope so, as we'd love to see Larryville's hobos gather to lead us all in a sing-a-long of their favorite train songs.

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As we noted last week, downtown merchants are joining forces to combat panhandlers with a new campaign. Are Larryville's hobo-loving progressives mad about this? You bet they are! In an LJ-World editorial today, Richard Sullivan offers a wonderfully indignant piece of purple prose (titled "A Little Boycott" by the LJ-World) as he vows to launch his own boycott of downtown merchants. Here's a bit of it:

"We could choose to let our homeless nomads remind us of the broader illusion we all would prefer to hide in these days, of the consequences of war and capitalism run amok and what being a community really means. For me, Lawrence has been an oasis amid a seething Kansas, a place of vibrant, artistic grit. Today, it feels more like a peeling, faded mural that once proudly celebrated its diversity. So, in honor of this season’s communal spirit, I hereby revoke my charity — to the downtown merchants."

Chip: "When I accuse this town of being full of 'artistic grit,' I do NOT mean it in a positive fashion."

Richard: "Sullivan is right. Let's repaint that mural, meaning ourselves (I think?), and quit seething against the noble nomads. But how does this connect to war? I think I got lost somewhere in that righteous indignation."

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The annual KJHK Farmer's Ball kicks off tomorrow at the Jackpot. Which band is the LC endorsing? Well, this could change, but right now we're going with Radar Defender, largely because their influences (via Myspace) are pretty hip ("Pixies, Swirlies, My bloody Valentine, autolux, Jesus Mary chain, Breeders") and because we like their album cover.

We'll consider other contenders later this week.

In the meantime, go here and familiarize yourselves with Radar Defender:

http://www.myspace.com/radardefender

The Boys Get Their Podcast On With BARRR! / Also: An Important New Film List

If there's one thing that scenesters love right now, it's podcasts about music, film, art, etc. But local man-about-town BARRR has discovered that a podcast can be more than something to amuse yourself while riding your bike to Jensen's to pick up some cheap beer. As it turns out, the recording of a podcast can also be an occasion to get a (very small) group of scenesters together to drink cheap beer at the Jackpot and cheer while BARRR interviews local banjo plucker Sam Billen (who told us about his days on a "Christian commune" outside of Larryville) and the remnants of former musical collective Mammoth Life, who are now drifting in a more "twee" direction (good choice, ML, but don't forget that NO ONE can out-twee the Transmittens). Also on tap last night were ML's "uniform" designer, who explained his design process (something to do with cow urine and putting "found objects on top of found objects") and DJ's Josh Powers and Aaron Marable, along with performances from the artists and BARRR's patented freestyling! Would the boys attend such an event again? Sure, and especially if BARRR interviewed us about the LC.

Chip: "But would I remain in persona or would I let listeners meet the real me?"

Richard: "Let's worry about that when the time comes, Kip. I mean, Chip."

Verdict: three out of four Shiner Bock Monday night beer specials (we're docking one Bock because no one ever offered us one of those free posters we were supposed to get for being one of the first 30 in the door).

Check out the podcasts and the live recording (coming soon) via the link in our sidebar. If you hear someone clapping in an extra hip manner, that's us!

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Readers, there's a LOT of information on the web, and not all of it gives us a boner, but we were very aroused yesterday upon discovering a list at the AV Club of 19 films and television episodes that open with sex scenes. At the #1 position is a nice choice: Laurel Canyon. Indeed, any film that opens with Kate Beckinsale having an orgasm is aces in our book). Some of our other favorites on the list are Betty Blue (which played an important role in young Richard's artsy-film awareness), the "Right Place, Wrong Time" episode of HBO's Treme ("There may be no bolder opening shot on television this year than a tight close-up of Wendell Pierce’s thrusting ass at the beginning of Treme’s third episode."), and the Japanese film called The Wayward Cloud:

"She lies on a bed, naked from the waist down, with half the watermelon positioned between her legs. What follows is one of the most inexplicably outré “sex scenes” of all time, as Tsai’s usual lead actor, Lee Kang-sheng, proceeds to lick, finger, and otherwise molest the woman via the watermelon, as if she actually had a giant fruit for genitalia. (Even when he finally screws her, he’s wearing the watermelon rind as a hat.)"

Chip: "I have GOT to try this."

The AV Club article is called "Start With a Bang" (get it? get it?!). Go here to read it, watch some of the scenes, and adjust your Netflix queue accordingly:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/start-with-a-bang-19-films-and-tv-episodes-that-op,46436/

The Boys Rock Out With Their Beards Out With Blitzen Trapper, Examine the Kanye Album Cover, and Watch Jackass 3D

Now that Portland, Oregon's Blitzen Trapper have taken their "indie-folk" stylings from the hipster bars (like the Jackpot) to bigger venues (like the Granada) have their crowds followed along? Not last night. The crowd at the Granada on Saturday was sparse, but suitably beardy and beflanneled.

Chip: "My understanding of the indie-folk genre is that the beards are actually directly responsible for the sound, something about how the vocals emerge from the beer-matted beard hair of the members to produce fantastic harmonies?"

Richard: "That's right, Chip. And, while I don't completely understand the scientific basis of the phenomenon, the indie-folk movement is easly the best thing to happen to music for square hipsters such as myself since the alt-country era."

And how was the show itself? Mostly nice, with the band's harmonies filling the half-empty room with a warmth that could warm the coldest hipster heart. Like many of the indie-folkers, the Blitzen Trapper aesthetic is perhaps, above all else, about channelling The Band (Chip: "Which band?" Richard: "THE Band."), about simultaneously sounding loose and ramshackle yet perfectly controlled. At certain moments of the set (the one-two punch of "Furr" followed by "Big Black Bird"), the goal was mostly achieved (in the louder, proggier moments, much less so).

Verdict: three out of four New Belgium beer specials.














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If you follow Kanye West on Twitter (and who doesn't?), you were treated to a veritable tweet-storm yesterday as Kanye reacted to the banning of his new album cover. A few of our favorite tweets:

"So Nirvana can have a naked human being on they cover but I can't have a PAINTING of a monster with no arms and a polka dot tail and wings"

"In the 70s album covers had actual nudity... It's so funny that people forget that... Everything has been so commercialized now."

"Banned in the USA!!! They don't want me chilling on the couch with my phoenix!"

And here's the cover:




















Chip: "I'm not sure what the fuss is about. It barely even gives me a boner. Also, angels don't have tails."

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Forget the Oscar-bait fare normally associated with the fall moviegoing season. What audiences really want, we learned this weekend, is to have piss and shit hurled at them in 3D. Yes, Jackass 3D set records for an October opening with an astonishing $50 million opening, leaving a little movie about Facebook in the dust.

Chip: "I saw it three times this weekend, once for each dimension."

Richard: "I saw a wonderful Australian crime film called Animal Kingdom at Liberty Hall."

Chip: "Boring."

Late Night in the Phog

Readers, we're taking the weekend off, because it's Fall Break, and we've got a lot of PBR to drink (Chip: "And perhaps some day trips down to the Maple Leaf Festival to look at pretty leaves"), but we'll leave you with this photo from last night's Late Night in the Phog and hope that the coming basketball season redeems the continuing horror of Gill-era football.

Here's Coach Self portraying Vanilla Ice in a skit. Yes, it's good to see that the humor at Late Night remains fresh, relevant, and edgy! Click to enlarge and we'll see you next week.

KU Football Recap / This Week in Panhandling News / Hipster Pick of the Day: C V L T S at Replay!

Luckily, the boys were passed out drunk long before last night's KU football massacre by the Wildcats, so they turned to LJ-World sports columnist Tom Keegan this morning to find out what happened. The answer: fat players.

"For the past eight seasons, Kansas University had a fat football coach. This season, the Jayhawks have too many fat players. So far, given the choice, I’ll take the fat coach. KU doesn’t look like a football team. Too many players have gained substantial weight since last season, and it’s not muscle-weight. They look so immobile. By halftime, they’re so gassed they walk into the locker room when other teams sprint."

Chip: "Exactly right. The players are fat gassy babies. And the coach stinks too."

---

Downtown business owners are once again teaming up against local "panhandlers," according to today's LJ-World:

"Downtown Lawrence Inc., with some help from City Hall, plans to launch a new educational program designed to discourage downtown visitors from supporting panhandlers."

Richard: "This seems like a reasonable idea, since not everyone knows how to defend themselves against attack by railroad spike or cue-ball-in-Crown-Royal-bag."

The educational campaign will involve distribution of a card with tips on how to deal with panhandlers, such as " to “walk with confidence” on the city’s streets, and to “above all, please do not give directly to panhandlers. Data show that the money received from panhandling goes to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes — not to food and shelter.”

Our progressive readers: "Is this story a fucking joke? It sounds like a fucking joke? And not a funny one."

---

Remember, not so long ago, when Dri's dub project Extra Classic was the hippest thing going, and you all packed the TapRoom to be hip with Dri? Well, somehow we have a feeling that the hippest of you will skip the Extra Classic gig at the Jackpot tonight in favor of the C V L T S show at the Replay. Based on our Twitter findings, the hippest of Larryville hipsters are totally digging the "trance/visual/minimalist" sound collages of C V L T S (we've already posted on them once, you may recall).

But don't take our word for it. Look at this review from a blog called Proverbs for Paranoids:

"Judging from their taste in mix-selection, [C V L T S] seem to be influenced equally by the Faltermeyer/Vangelis school of electrokosmiche and the acid-scarred Ferraro camp. Just watch this video to see what I mean: a glittery synth-collage detunes itself into a swampy, neo-gothic Popol Vuh type krautjam, including some kinda Catholic hymnal chant sample."

Chip: "I understand even less of that than I did of the Captain's Die Antwoord review yesterday."

See you at the Replay tonight, and here are some tips on enjoying the show:

1) Pretend to understand exactly what C V L T S is doing.

2) Pretend that C V L T S understands what they themselves are doing.

Go here to study up on "songs" like "Pizza Reality" and "Liquid Dinosaurs" before the show:

http://www.myspace.com/cvlts

Game Day! / And Captain Chanute Drops By to Review the Die Antwoord Album

Readers, it's the day of the long-awaited KU/K-State game, and you can bet we've been drinking since sunrise (Chip: "Indeed, the only way my nerves can handle the onslaught of purple fuckers is to get knee-walking blitzed.").

So we're turning the blog over today to our New York cultural reporter, Captain Chanute, who has fallen in love with Die Antwoord (taking a break from his usual favorites, Duran Duran and the Wu-Tang Clan). Listen up as he enlightens you on the complexities of South-African hip-hop:

"Ladies and Gentiles,

you may not have known this, but Tuesday was the hippest day of 2010 because it marked the release of $O$, the American debut of South African hip-hop trio Die Antwoord. The rappers, Ninja and Yo-Landi, hail from the streets of Cape Town with their toxic hipness in tow. In brief, this is the hippest shit you've ever heard and it'll likely rot your brains if you listen to it (which is a prerequisite for all hip activity, as we all know). So let's take a closer look and see what we can steal from them and claim as our own in order to be the hippest among Larryvillains.

Upon first glance, Yo-Landi and Ninja are fatally stylish. And as with any hip style, this one also has its own nomenclature. Die Antwoord incorporates many “Zef” elements into its music. Zef is endemic to low social-class S. Africans, roughly translating to kitsch. Described by Yo-Landi, “you're poor but you're fancy. You're poor but you're sexy, you've got style.” In essence, it's America's equivalent to we're-White-trash-and-we're-proud-of-it! Only hipper. Mainly because this is based around a subset of S. African society that had a penchant for Ford Zephyrs (hence the moniker, Zef). Like its American counterpart, the hipster, Zef draws on dead cultural influences, reviving them to fit into- and at once contrast with- modern society.

Not only style do they bring, but Die Antwoord spits their South African brogue along with a delightful smattering of Afrikaans, a vestigial language of the Dutch colonization, whose guttural Germanic origins shine through lyrical tone and content (Die Antwoord is Afrikaans for The Answer). Take for example this lyric from “Rich Bitch:” Versigtig, ek's nog steeds fokken giftig, which hiply translates to 'Careful, [cuz] I'm street-fuckin-toxic.' Capitalizing on the Hun-like barbary of their local dialect, Die Antwoord is famous in S. Africa for its vulgarity, as evidenced by “Evil Boy,” a song about big dicks and what to do with them. Furthermore, they are thoroughly educated in the foundations of American hip hop, taking beat references from Eric B & Rakim, incorporating multiple instances of Cypress Hill lyrics and holding a godlike reverence for the artistry of the Ninja, a la Wu-Tang Clan. Aside from their lyrical presence, they are playful and ironic in content (referencing video games and Luke Skywalker) while oscillating between the abrasive and lullaby as exemplified in “I'm A Ninja.”

Clearly, Hip, in this case, is an understatement. To fully understand, you must experience this shit. In doing so, some resources may be of use. For example, Google translate is effective for aiding in interpreting the ubiquitous Afrikaans rhymes (http://translate.google.com/#af|en|). If you want to undertake the Zef look, do a Google search of the term for various explications or simply consult Die Antwoord's Wikipedia page. If you want to see the “poor but fancy, poor but sexy” in action (and Yo-Landi is sexy, she has great tits), check them out on YouTube. In the process, take notes so that you can use Afrikaan slang down at the Replay and be fokken lekker. It may prove quite useful with the ladies; here's your first lesson: kan ek my piel binne in jou poes sit?

That's all for now. Captain Chanute innie moederfokken huisie!

Downtown Larryville Makes Another Prestigious List! / Recent Concert Reviews / Hipster and Geek Pick of the Day

According to a report in the LJ-World today, Massachusetts Street has been named one of the "Ten Best Streets" in the nation by the American Planning Association.

Chip: "I'm dubious of this list, since New Orleans' Bourbon Street is not in the top ten. How can Mass. Street be better than a street which contains a lot of titty bars and Hurricane stands. Answer: it can't."

And how do the on-line talkbackers feel?

Healthcare_Moocher says: "Backing out of a parking place and hitting a bicycle. Dog crap on the sidewalk. The smell of BO and pacholi oil. Inflated sales taxes that fund empT busses. Yep...my kind of place."

---

We didn't make it to the Menomena show at the Bottleneck last night, but according to the Pitch their "abstract art-rock" was served up quite nicely, even without our presence. Here's an excerpt from the Pitch review:

"The baritone sax -- perhaps Menomena's signature instrument -- almost didn't make an appearance during the night's set, after it was broken in an "emo freakout" during a concert in Atlanta. (Pleading to Lawrencians over Twitter, the band promised V.I.P. passes, karma, and high-fives to anyone that would let them borrow a sax.)"

So, which local scenester loaned them the sax? If you're reading this, we'll buy you a beer, as we wouldn't have wanted Larryville to be denied an "emo freakout" of its own.

---

We're a sucker for any band with a costume, so we'll certainly see you tonight at the Peelander-Z show at the Replay, which should provide a nice opportunity for hipsters and geeks to mingle. Here's the band's Myspace bio and a photo:

"PEELANDER-Z, the Japanese Action Comic Punk Band based in NYC, was originally formed in 1998 by Peelander-Yellow, Peelander-Red, and Peelander-Blue, after meeting in New York City (although they'll tell you they're all from the Z area on the planet Peelander). Peelander-Green was welcomed in July 2008 after Blue left the band...

At their live show, you'll see the band in colorful costumes reminiscent of Japanese Animation, though they describe their outfit as their skin. Their shows guarantee intense audience participation and chance to exercise with the band. "Do human bowling with us. Do limbo dancing with us. Do karaoke competition with us. Hit our cowbell with us," says Yellow. "Don't be shy, give us your smile! We can beat your stress! See you at our show!"

More Library Expansion Coverage / The Boys Consider the Brett Favre Sexting Scandal / Sexy Pick of the Day: Air Sex Competition in KC!

Perhaps due to growing opposition to the proposed $18 million dollar library expansion, alternative ideas for growth are now being considered:

"In a televised forum leading up to the Nov. 2 election, voters...also were presented with an alternative idea of creating several smaller library locations in rented space that currently sits vacant." (LJ-World)

Richard: "I'm intrigued by this. Perhaps, for instance, a space near the Replay could be used simply to house books that appeal to literary hipsters, and we could give it a catchy nickname, like 'The Chabon Station.'"

Chip: "I'm opposed, as I favor all empty storefronts being turned into new bars or restaurants, specifically sports bars and fried chicken restaurants."

---

This week's Brett Favre sexting scandal is, in our opinion, the greatest scandal in the sporting world since Sherron Coll.ns (allegedly) whipped his johnson out on an elevator. But what do the boys think of Favre sending photos of his crank to Jets sideline reporter Jenn Sterger?

Chip: "Sending a picture of one's weiner is the modern-day, high-tech equivalent of asking a girl to 'go steady.' I'm not sure why she's made a big deal of it, as I suspect the guy's got a fine-looking rod. Would I complain if Quinton's waitresses sent me pictures of their cootchies? No."

Richard: "At first I thought such behavior was maybe a tad 'forward' on Favre's part. Myself, I usually wait until after the second date before I start forwarding tallywhacker pictures, but then I looked at some photos of Sterger, and I understood completely."
















Our feminist readers: "This story seems like nothing but an excuse to see how many euphemisms for penis you can use."

Chip: "Exactly right. And please rewatch this famous Monty Python skit to hear even more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ

---

It takes a lot to get the boys to KC, but tonight's Air Sex Championships at the Crosstown Station will do the trick. So head over and watch the boys make sweet love to the air tonight. As skilled as they are at masturbation, they've got a decent shot at winning this thing!

Here's a photo from the Pitch's piece on the subject, with the caption "Slut Truffle demonstrates perfect air sex form." To be honest, we're a little confused by this photo, but certainly aroused.

The Boys Examine the Pitch's "Best of KC" List / The LC's Pop Culture Corner Looks at Mad Men

Since Lawrence.com doesn't do anything cool, we have to make do with cultural coverage from the Pitch, and we always enjoy their Annual "Best of KC" list, which kindly includes a few Larryville favorites as well.

Local heroes Fourth of July win Best Album for Before Our Hearts Explode with the reviewer comparing Brendan Hangauer's lyrics to Dave Eggers.

Richard: "I'll agree with this choice but only because the Transmittens don't have a new record right now."

Abe and Jake's wins the "best college dance party" award.

Chip: "I've said it before and I'll say it again. There's no better place to grind."

And the Bourgeois Pig wins "Best Neighborhood Bar" of Lawrence award: "Don't let the Marxist name fool you; the Pig is far from an elitist clique of philosophy-spewing beatniks in turtlenecks."

Richard: "True. It's also full of breast-feeding women."

Turning to KC, the best bartender award goes to Sonya Limberg at Harry's Bar and Tables in Westport, "the redhead with the extra-large smile" : "Her sass level is pitch-perfect: witty and genuine but not too boisterous. And if you prove yourself a worthy, respectful patron, there's a decent chance that Limberg will reward you with delicious "bluemenade" (Stoli Blueberi and lemonade) shots."

Readers, who is Larryville's best female bartender? Our vote: Nanda at the Replay.

And the best male bartender award for KC goes to Chad Wilson of Charlie Hooper's, "a great guy, the type who comes around to the other side of the bar to shake your hand if he hasn't seen you in a while. Crowds don't faze him, and he's been known to leap over the bar to break up a fight."

And Larryville's best male bartender? Obviously, it's Jeremy Sidener at the Tap.

---

The boys love Mad Men so much that they'd abandon PBR for Old-Fashioneds if they could only afford it. Is a show this intelligent, this socially and culturally aware, actually raising the discourse level among on-line talkbackers? Let's check in today over at AICN to see what folks are saying as the show nears the end of its excellent fourth season.

Crow3711 discusses Don's newest secretary: "I mean she's certainly not unattractive, at all. But piping hot? You have to make some distinctions somewhere. Piping hot she isn't. A little horse faced Imo. I mean, I'd give it to her, no doubt. But she's second-rate compared to most of the tail dons had on the show."

And Greggers has some thoughts on Joan and Betty:

Regarding Joan: "I like my women with voluptuous, but I'm beginning to think Christina Hendricks has quietly crossed the line from voluptuous to whatever is past voluptuous. Something kinda like fat."

Regarding Betty: "Like I said, I like voluptuous women, but I call shenanigans on January Jones' GQ cover. It would be awesome (for Jason Sudakis) if she were actually carrying that equipment, but I think there were some creative photography tricks going on."

Here's the GQ cover in question, so judge for yourself. The cover headline is "Mad Men's January Jones Unzips."

Chip: "I'd like to unzip her, if you catch my meaning. I mean that I would enjoy seeing the rest of her breasts."

Will the Boys "Vote Yes for the Library?"

The "vote yes for the library" campaign currently underway in Larryville is easily the most important local progressive movement since we all rallied to "save the T," and perhaps even more important, since we actually use the Lawrence Public Library. If you're a true townie, you're currently on a number of waiting lists to receive various DVDs and books (most of the EastSide is slated to finish David Simon's HBO masterwork The Wire in about 2017).

But do local citizens love the library enough to pay higher property taxes for a 20 year period to fund an $18 million expansion? We'll find out next month. In the meantime, the Journal World embarks today on a four-part series exploring the issues. Today's first installment lays out the exact nature of the expansion, which includes a three-level parking garage and reading rooms overlooking Watson Park.

Will the boys vote yes?

Richard: "I assume the expansion means that the library will have more copies of Franzen's Freedom, so I'm for it."

Chip: "I'm against it, using the same logic."

And what about the LJ-World talkbackers? We haven't checked in with them in awhile.

WHY says: "Vote no. Save your money and buy the books you want yourself. If the library needs some repairs fine, but increasing parking for the pool and making more room for the homeless to hang out is not a good use of limited resources."

skinny says: "Vote NO!! Everything is going digital anyway. Read it online!"

And Solomon says: "I will vote against any spending measure in this town until our streets are fixed."

So if the talkback is in any way representative of local sentiment, there's no way in hell we're getting a better library. But we assume our local progressives are too busy planting "vote yes for the library" signs around town to get on-line and argue with the LJ-World regulars.

Another "Spot That Scenester" Contest / Geek Pick of the Week: Game Crush

A. Ruscin is back on Lawrence.com with photos from the Sept. 12 King Congo Powers show at the Jackpot, so make sure to check out the display and look at all your favorite local rockabilly cats.

But who are these two scenesters? And where can we get a Palomino shirt? We'll buy a Hamm's for anyone who can identify either or both of these folks?



















---

Lonely, geeky gamers are in for a treat with a new website. For a (fairly significant) price, you can sign up to play your favorite games with an attractive woman:

m>"The Web site pays girls to play video games and live-chat with gamers (presumably somewhat lonely gamer boys), who pay for the privilege...A Player (yes, they're called "Players") buys points--500 cost $8.25--and uses them to buy "game time" with a PlayDate (yes, they're called PlayDates)...Players browse through PlayDate profiles, and once they find one they're interested in they can send a gaming invite." (interweb).

Chip: "This sounds fantastic, but I'll need to find a game that I can play with one hand, as my other hand is likely to be occupied, if you catch my meaning. I mean that I'll be masturbating."

Richard: "I'm booking a Playdate with Lala10089 this afternoon. Her profile catchphrase is 'Bitches don't know about my jetpack.' Check her out:
















Go here and sign up:

http://www.gamecrush.com/live/gc.live.html

Zombie Walk Coverage

Initially an admirably weird event for freaks and hipsters, the local Zombie Walk, in its fourth year, has now mostly been ceded to the children. Fun for them, no doubt, but pretty miserable for the rest of us forced to listen to the piercing screams of middle-school girls (zombies don't emit high-pitched screams! your vocal cords are rusty from the cold, cold ground!). Anyway, here are a few pictures snagged from Lawrence.com (who have published in an unusually timely fashion!) to amuse our out-of-town friends who miss such events.

In a sure sign that the event has become mainstream, old ladies now line the streets in lawn chairs as if they're watching the Old-Fashioned Christmas Parade:















Real zombies are too busy eating your fucking brains to stop and take a picture of themselves.

















Chip: "Like so many children with 'hip' and 'progressive' Larryville parents, this poor child will be scarred forever."

The Boys Book Club is Back / Foodie Pick of the Fall / Cowboy Indian Bear: Tomorrow

Readers, we don't have much time today, because we're busy zombie-ing ourselves up for tonight's Fourth Annual Lawrence Zombie Walk. But let's think about books for a bit.

Now that we've finished the new Franzen (genius!) and beat off our way through the Duke "Fuck List" (arousing!), we're turning to the ever-hip publishers McSweeney's, for a 900 page epic debut novel called The Instructions, by Adam Levin, which spans only four days and centers around "ten-year-old Gurion Maccabee who may, in fact, be the messiah." (www.mcsweeneys.net)

And here's an assessment of Levin from the McSweeney's website: "Combining the crackling voice of Philip Roth with the encyclopedic mind of David Foster Wallace, Adam Levin has shaped a world driven equally by moral fervor and slapstick comedy—a novel that is muscular and rollicking, troubling and empathetic, monumental, breakneck, romantic, and unforgettable."

Richard: "I desperately want to be seen reading this book on various patios around town, but the fucking thing is so huge I may need to push it around in a wheelbarrow. Does that make it even more hip?"

---

Since today's Style Scout subjects don't particularly intrigue us with their fashion senses, let's think instead about today's Lawrence.com piece on how local chefs are "tweaking" their menus for fall. Our favorite foodie heavens, The Burger Stand and Esquina, aren't included, but we think it's safe to assume that Krause will be offering some sort of pumpkin burgers and tacos at his respective establishments (perhaps a slab of Kobe beef nestled between two whole pumpkins!).

But our other favorite local foodie paradise IS included in the article: The Basil Leaf Cafe on 6th Street. The Basil Leaf is ultra-hip because it's located in a gas station, and all good restaurants located inside gas stations are important (Oklahoma Joe's, for example). Chef Walters says he's going to be featuring an appetizer of "frog legs with a cayenne cream sauce and jalapeno apple jelly onto the appetizer menu." Richard, who was a champion frog gigger back in Arkansas, is especially excited about this one.

Our vegetarian friends: "There just seems something especially cruel about frog legs. We're not sure why."

Chip: "Shut up and go down to the 10th Street Vegetarian Bistro. They've got fried eggplant fingers on their appetizer menu."

---

And don't forget that our Twitter-friends in Cowboy Indian Bear are rocking at the Bottleneck tomorrow. It's our understanding that, with Halloween approaching, the band might buy a shot for you if you come dressed as a cowboy, an Indian, or a bear, but that might just be a rumor we heard.

Chip: "I'm dressing as Gentle Ben."

According to their Myspace (www.myspace.com/cowboyindianbear) the show will be followed by a dance party featuring South Sea Island Magic, which sounds pretty cool in its own right, and perhaps especially if you are dressed as a dancing bear.

And here's a picture of the band with new member Katlyn Conroy:

The Boys Look at the Rolling Stone "Hot List" / Plus: What's Hot in Larryville Hipster Culture?

Obviously, Rolling Stone is not hip, but we do love its annual "Hot List," because we enjoy knowing about "hot" things.

Here are a few items that caught our attention on this year's list:

"Skweee" is designated as a hot new "nano-scene," or mini-genre. And what is "skweee"? It's "spare Scandinavian electro featuring high-pitched analog synths. Devotees dig puns ("skweeed," "skweeelicious," etc)."

We're not sure those are puns, but we're certainly about to start listening to "skweee," a lot, perhaps exclusively.

Chip: "Ten bucks says someone writes in to the comments claiming to have been into 'skweee' for many years and laughing at us for just now having heard of it."

The "Hot Rediscovery" slot goes to Arkansas' own Charles Portis, since the Coens' are about to bless us all with their (supposedly much more faithful to the novel) take on True Grit this Christmas. Rolling Stone champions his other, more comic, novels, as "futile-quest picaresques marked by humor so dry that you almost can't explain what makes it funny."

Richard: "Actually, I can explain it, at pompous length, while reading you my favorite passages of Dog of the South and Norwood. I might even let you borrow my dog-eared copies, if you ask sweetly."

And the "hot breakthrough" of the year goes to Die Antwoord: "Ninja and Yolandi Visser, the surreal South African hip-hop duo...who play high-energy party rap in in a style they call 'zef.'"

Oddly enough, Richard encountered them via a tweet from Pitchfork earlier in the day. Watch the video here (perhaps not at work) if you enjoy truly crazy shit:

http://pitchfork.com/tv/#/musicvideo/8418-die-antwoord-evil-boy-cherrytree/

---

But what's "hot" here in Larryville today. We're going to give that prize to Larryville "sound collagist" C V L T S, whose new work is Black Hole, Hi Five. Check out the purple prose of this review from the website www.alteredzones.com:

"C V L T S lifts his looped compositions from the murky waters of cassette culture and lays them out to sparkle in the sun. “Flooded Forest” and “Microrangers” make the upper octaves of a synthesizer in a faux-piano setting seem as dazzling and awe-inspiring as the contents of your mother’s jewelry box. But they radiate with an internal warmth that can only come from plucking those black pearls from memory-- the glass beads of a remembered chandelier-- and holding them for an hour in your hand."

According to the site, "BLACK HOLE, HI FIVE EP is available for digital download via Atelier Ciseaux, and in a limited edition of 30 hand-painted black cassette tapes with vintage picture postcards + free download."

We want one of those cassette tapes very badly, and hope C V L T S will offer us one for plugging the work.

Chip: "Cassette tapes are hip? Then I may be hipper than I thought, since I was listening to Huey Lewis' Sports on cassette this morning on the way to work."

Go here for some sound collage:

http://www.myspace.com/cvlts

The Boys Rock Out With The Mountain Goats / The LC Pimps Another Local Show / Internet Sensation of the Week!

The Bottleneck was full of bookish hipsters last night for the Mountain Goats show, the type who, if they had not been at the show, would surely have been home reading Franzen's Freedom (or twittering about yesterday's bizarre London incident in which Franzen's glasses were stolen and ransomed).

And is there a more literary band out there than the Mountain Goats? Listening to their songs, we're always reminded of Nick Hornby's Songbook evalutation of an Aimee Mann song: "These few words do the job of perhaps as many as seven hundred recently published semiautobiograpical but deeply sensitive first novels." This is true of most all of Darnielle's songs.

Here are a few highlights of last night's set:

--For their second number, the band (yes, it's now a three-piece on tour) launched into "Old College Try" from their seminal album, Tallahassee, eliciting a collective sigh from the audience that sounded like a massive simultaneous hipster orgasm.

--"Psalms 4:20," from the new album, which is inspired by Carthage, Missouri's Precious Moments chapel (the song also includes a Kansas reference, proving that even hipsters will erupt when their state's name is mentioned in a rock show).

--During the mid-set solo section, Darnielle told a story about his shopping excursion in downtown Larryville ("I needed a cool dragon ring"), during which he encountered several establishments tuned to analysis of shitty Jayhawk football. This served as a segue into a heartbreaking version of "Fall of the Star High School Running Back":

"...selling acid was a bad idea.
and selling it to a cop was a worse one.
and the new law said that seventeen year olds could do federal time.
you were the first one, so i sing this song for you,
william stanaforth donahue,
your grandfather rode the boat over from ireland,
but you made a bad decision or two."

--Darnielle bet us all that we couldn't pogo for the entire three-minute set-closer, "This Year," We proved him wrong (Chip: "Actually, I only pogoed for about a minute and fifteen seconds, but I don't think anyone noticed.").

--The encore sing-along of "No Children":

I am drowning
There is no sign of land
you are coming down with me
Hand in unloveable hand
and I hope you die
I hope we both die"

Final comments:

It's not right to complain about a fantastic set, and we're sure that Darnielle gets tired of playing it, but we truly miss the crowd chant-along of "Hail Satan!" from "Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton." Our own personal favorite was also missing, "New Chevrolet in Flames":

"...we cracked a couple coca colas open
mixed them up with vodka and some coffee liqueur
poured in some cold milk and raised our glasses high to old friends
my love for you is ninety-eight percent pure.
but the two percent that remains
has fried the circuits in my brain."

Also, in every crowd, there is at least one person who will shout "Freebird" in between songs (as we all know) but there is also at least one person, somewhere else in the crowd, who will laugh. Both of these persons are morons.

---

Each week on the LC we're hoping to promote at least one local show. Last week, as you know, was Hurray for the Riff Raff, at the Gaslight, which we suspect none of you attended (we didn't either...North Lawrence is just too far away).

This week's pick is Cowboy Indian Bear (with new member Katlyn Conroy!), along with Ad Astra Arkestra, and A Lull at the Bottleneck on Friday. Why this show? Because our twitter-buddies at @bearmusic sent us a personal invite, that's why!

Today let's think about Ad Astra Arkestra. If you're a local hipster, you've probably spent some quality hipster-time at Ad Astra Per Aspera shows. How many of you were at that Replay patio gig where they played an entire evening of cover songs? We'll buy you a PBR if you can name at least three of the covers they played that evening. As for us, we haven't yet seen the band's newest incarnation as an "Arkestra," but we can only assume it's at least AS hip, if not hipper, than before.

See you at the Bottleneck on Friday.

---

Normally we spend our time reading long and pompous novels, but this week, like the rest of America, we're engrossed in a...thesis:
















Yes, the PowerPoint "fuck list" (as it's known) of a former Duke University student has gone "viral" this week, recounting in explicit detail her sexual exploits with most of Duke's lacrosse, tennis, and baseball players.

Here's a representative example of a section the author calls "memorable moments," in which she details the highlights of each encounter:

"Hooking up on Subject 4's couch, as he lay sleeping ten feet away. The quote: "I just want to come all over you." The subject successfully (and accidentally) marking his territory with reproductive fluid on the couch."

Chip: "I have used that exact quote SO many times, and no woman has yet to deem it 'memorable.'"

Enjoy the full "list" here:

http://deadspin.com/5652280/the-full-duke-university-fuck-list-thesis-from-a-former-female-student/gallery/

The LC Considers Garage Fest (One More Time!) and The Boys Eat Some Gourmet Hot Dogs

Sure, all of us Larryville hipsters loved every note we heard at Garage Fest, but did the bands feel as kindly toward us? Maybe not, judging from this tweet we spotted from gay-garage rockers Hunx and His Punx:

From www.twitter.com/HunxandhisPunx: "that garage thang we played was SRSLY lacking girls and gays. I NEVER wanna hear another boring white dude talk about records EVER again"

Chip: "I say the same thing all the time. All the time."

Readers, you should check out the comments section of Saturday's post to hear the blistering critique leveled at us from one of those boring white dudes. Sorry, our touchy friend! But we make no claims for perfect accuracy on a humor blog (Chip: "Aside from my boner jokes. I never exaggerate the size or quantity of my boners.").

Turning to other media coverage of the event, Chance Dibben has a nicely written piece in the Pitch. Dig this:

"The autumn air--crisp. The location of the venues--centralized. The hipsters--dirty, dressed in leggings and gauzy scarves. (Random notebook jot: "It's like an Urban Outfitters catalog was fucked by the "Do" section of Vice.")"

Here's Dibbens' take on Best Coast:

"Like 'em or not (I don't like them), L.A's Best Coast surprisingly translates well live. Singer Beth Cosentino was clearly high, letting out stunted nervous giggles between a couple of songs. She seemed slightly numb, yet her voice was clear and focused, especially on "Goodbye," a better track from the band's overpraised debut. (While Crazy for You isn't nearly as good as people are making it out to be, it does have one of the best album covers of the year.)"

We're not sure about whether she was high or not, but he's certainly right about that last statement. We've showcased the cover before, but here it is again.

Chip: "My favorite part is the kitty cat."


















Our twitter-buddy chewyfally has uploaded the already legendary little-girl-on-stage-with-Best-Coast moment to Youtube, so you should probably check it out if you weren't hip enough to be there in person:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBdKQv26ty0

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If you're like the boys, you love eating ridiculous gourmet hot dogs almost as much as you love eating ridiculous gourmet burgers. The current INK magazine offers a useful guide to the newest gourmet sensation: the piece is called "Haute Dogs" (Chip: "Is that a pun? I don't get it.").

Profiled first (of course) is Krause's "rabbit dog":

"Yep, this hot dog really is made with rabbit meat. Chef Simon Bates makes sausages by adding caraway seeds, onion, garlic, coriander and cumin to the meat, which is sweet and mildly gamey. To make the Rabbit Dog, he grills one of the sausages, slides it into a bun and slathers on jalapeño-apple jam, made from fresh jalapeños, brown sugar and Granny Smith apples. A sprinkling of greens and homemade roasted carrot ketchup (get it?) finish off the dog. The result: an incredibly juicy dog that nicely balances savory and sweet."

Richard: "I was tempted to ask, Does a hot dog need 'greens' on it? But then I remembered the better question: does a hot dog need to be made out of a fucking rabbit?"

The article focuses largely on dogs from KC's Dog Nuvo, such as Le Poodle Dog:

"This uber-gourmet hot dog is an ode to France. Chef Marshall Röth loads it with boeuf bourguignon, a classic French comfort food made with stewed meat, mushrooms, carrots, onions, bacon and Burgundy wine. Then he melts funky-in-a-good-way brie cheese over the top and sprinkles on radish slices that resemble confetti. Pinot noir mustard finishes Le Poodle off. Only in America ..."

Chip: "I'll accept the fact that the Frenchies have cornered the market on fries, but I want my hot dog to remain American, thank you very much."

Our Garage Fest Re-Cap / KU Football Recap

How hip was Garage Fest? It was so hip that we actually attended it. Here are a few brief thoughts on five of the bands we witnessed, and we'll be checking in with other local media coverage this week.

Rooftop Vigilantes: The Vigilantes have been mentioned on the LC perhaps more than any other local band besides the Transmittens but, believe it or not, this was our first time to actually witness them live. So, do they deserve their hype? Yes. Would they be twice as good if they turned the amps down from 14 to 11? Also yes. We hope to catch them sometime in their natural habitat (the Replay), as the cavernous (and largely unpopulated at that early hour) Liberty Hall didn't do justice to their onslaught. But we're rarely out and about during their normal 1:17 am slot at the Replay.

Best Coast: The Pitchfork buzz-band drew a large crowd to Liberty for their 7:00 set and, while most of Garage Fest was a sausage-fest, as the kids say, quite a few ladies showed up to hear the dreamy pop of Bethany Cosentino and her lyrics that sound like a teen girl's diary (crushes and kittycats!). Bethany was charmed by a nine-year old girl rocking on the front row--(Chip: "This event was all-ages? Anybody letting a child free to roam around with people like King Khan should be turned in to Social Services!")--and late in the set the girl was lifted on stage to join the band on tambourine (Richard: "Her poor tambourine skills detracted from my enjoyment of the set, but at the same time I was enchanted by the spontaneity and adorableness of the moment, until my cynical friend King Tosser called the girl a 'convenient prop' and possibly even a 'plant.'").

Down the way at the Granada, we caught most of a set from Hunx and his Punx, where a moderate crowd of hipsters cheered the gay antics of the band, whose schtick is putting a homoerotic spin on standard garage-rock girl-group tropes. Betweens songs, Hunx told us stories about shopping at TJ Maxx and showed us his ass at one point.

Chip: "What? It never occurred to me that Hunx was gay. But in retrospect I guess that explained a lot of this performance."



















Back at Liberty, Richard, who is a sucker for technical proficiency, enjoyed rocking out with the blues-based garage of the Greenhornes. But his companions, who prefer their garage rock a little more "sloppy," soon led us toward the evening's highlight, King Khan and the Shrines.

With his horn-y band and on-stage dancing girl, King Khan finally brought the dance party that Garage Fest was needing. Sounding like some unholy soul-shouting mix of James Brown and Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Khan led us all at one point on an ultra-lenthy sing-along chorus of "She's fat, she's ugly, and I really really love her / She's fat, she's ugly, and I really really love her."

Our feminist readers: "If you were over twelve and singing along, then fuck you. And we saw a lot of you twenty-something hipster chicks singing along. Guess what? You are traitors to your gender."

Final verdict for GarageFest: four out of four PBR's (and this was our first time witnessing the new PBR-tallboy bar in the Jackpot: brilliant!). We don't think it's an exaggeration to call last night the hippest event in Larryville history.

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At the end of yesterday's 55-7 Jayhawk massacre, Baylor fans began chanting "Kansas high school" at our beleaguered Hawks.

Chip: "I was shouting the same thing at my television. And worse. Much worse."

The LC Gets Hip at Love Garden's Garage Fest Pre-Party!

Readers, were you hip enough to attend the pre-fest in-store performances at Love Garden last night, complete with the last minute addition of legendary Memphis garage-rocker Greg Oblivian [we accidentally called him Jack, but have now corrected our mistake thanks to touchy hipster in comments section!] who served up a beautiful half-hour solo set unlikely to be topped by today's let-s-turn-everything-up-to-eleven mentality? Were the scenesters in attendance actually familiar with the work of the Oblivians? Unlikely, since Jack's request to shout out songs for him to play was greeted with stone silence from the crowd aside from one bespectacled hipster who shouted out "Medication Blues" (either his musical knowledge outshone the rest of us or he'd been doing some interweb research: either way, we hope that his hipster-knowledge got him laid last night). Also on the bill was San Francisco's Nodzzz, with wonderfully chirpy ditties like "Controlled Karaoke" ("lalalalala this song is funny!"). It was enough to make the most hardened hipster smile (slightly). Check out Nodzzz rocking the 5:00 slot at Bottleneck this evening, and be sure to shout loudly for "Controlled Karaoke," which local rock critic King Tosser has pronounced "possibly the unofficial anthem of the entire festival" (this is a loosely paraphrased quote, since we'd had a bunch of Love Garden Hamm's by this point).

http://www.myspace.com/nodzzz

In perhaps the oddest moment of the evening, local mentally-disabled downtown fixture Dennis approached the band between songs with a strange and unintelligible warning, prompting a few hipsters to shout "Dennis has an announcement to make, give him the mic," proving that a certain kind of dumbass local hipster is little better than the frat boys they detest (aside from the superior musical taste of the hipster, of course). Once he had the mic, Dennis seemed to be telling the band (and the rest of us) that they needed to get off-stage in five minutes, which may have been true: the set WAS running a bit late. So thank you, Dennis. And fuck you, hipsters, for publicly laughing at him. Did you ridicule any fat women on your way home? Or tip over any wheelchairs?

One Final Plug for Hurray for the Riff Raff / Garage Fest Coverage

Remember what we've been telling you to do tonight, scenesters. Enjoy the nice weather and take a relaxing stroll across the bridge to North Larryville for a Gaslight Tavern patio set by New Orleans' Hurray for the Riff Raff.

So, after this week's promotion, are the boys actually attending this show?

Chip: "Nah, I'm scared to go to the Northside after dark."

Richard: "Depends if I'm on the guest list and receiving any free swag."

We'll say this for the Riff Raff: they are touring their asses off. Look at their schedule, and maybe catch them when they come through your town:

http://www.hurrayfortheriffraff.com/tour.html

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This week we've covered the headliners at three of the four Garage Fest venues (Raveonettes at Liberty; Gories at Jackpot; Oblivians at Granada). That leaves only the Bottleneck, which offers us King Khan and the Shrines. The last time King Khan was slated to perform in Larryville, he got arrested en route, but we ended up spending a pleasant evening at the Jackpot anyway with Those Darlins', who took over the headlining slot and gave us major boners.

Chip: "Indeed, one of my major recent local musical regrets is not banging a Darlin'."

On the day before the event, Lawrence.com has finally decided to offer up a piece about Garage Fest, so head over there to read Fally's piece on King Khan. And check in with Abner the Owl's blog to see profiles and tracks of each of the Jackpot bands:

http://balancedforbroadcast.blogspot.com/2010/10/garage-fest-jackpot-music-hall.html

Here's the album cover for one of the Jackpot bands called Teenager. This pic's for the ladies! We'll see you on the scene tomorrow.