Kip says: "I'm sure it's a nice family event but why should I, Kip Sm.lie, stand in line an hour in the heat for a tamale when I could just as easily go downstairs at the Iowa Street El Mez and watch a bunch of alcohol-lubricated underage sorority chicks partying. Yes indeed, the basement scene at El Mez is an unappreciated local treasure. They'll serve beer to anyone over ten. They'll serve beer to a goat. The only basement in town that's better is Pizza Pete's at The Wheel, where Pete is always dishing out free slices to sloshed chicks who show him their boobies. That man has seen more titties than he can count, whereas I've only seen five."
In pizza-related news, Papa Keno's is reopening. Yes, the long local nightmare is finally over! Once again we can enjoy a large slice sprinkled with hippie sweat.