Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Locals Fight To Keep Dillons Dirty! / Larryville Gets An Important New Holiday Event / NY-Times Reviews The Instructions

As expected, locals showed up en masse last night at a meeting at Central Junior High to discuss plans for the razing and renovation of "Dirty Dillons":

"Some residents offered suggestions for improvements to the store, such as a mural painted by a local artist on the back of the building, or a locally owned coffee shop inside the building instead of a Starbucks" (LJ-World).

Chip: "This is East Larryville at its very worst. You offer them a nice, modern building and they want to muck it up with 'art.'"

And, in the online talkback to the article, deskboy04 makes an important point:

"I hope that they still sell the chicken gizzards. They are fantastic. You can't get them at KFC."

Richard: "Indeed, the lack of gizzards would be a dealbreaker for me too, except that I can also get them at the 6th Street Dillons and at Checkers."


Larryville already has numerous important holiday events, such as the night when Santa lands on Weaver's Department Store roof and has to be rescued by local firemen and the night that Art Dodge puts on a Santa cap and plays holiday standards in the Tap Room basement while calling himself Dusty Rhodes. But an important new event is coming to town on December 11, and we urge you to participate.

It's the first-ever Larryville installment of an event called Santa Con:

"SantaCon is for adults - where guys & girls of legal age dress up like Santa and go cavorting around town for no better reason than that it's huge fun."

Chip: "I love cavorting and am also a fan of gamboling."

Go here for more details: http://www.santaconlawrence.com/

And follow the Larryville event here: www.twitter.com/santalawrence.

We've been in touch with some of the organizers directly, and they've assured us that there will also be "frolicking" and "prancing."


If you're a literary hipster, you're obligated to read everything published by McSweeneys, especially when it's a 1030 page tome about a Chicago kid who might be the Messiah. Our friend Dr. X is meticulously working his way through Adam Levin's The Instructions now, and we hope for a review from him when he finishes (sometime late next year). In the meantime, the NY-Times has beat him to the punch with a not-so-flattering review (in which the reviewer also chastises readers for not reading his own super-long Jewish novel and claims that no one will ever finish The Instructions: prove him wrong, Dr. X!):

"As in the Talmud, there isn’t much plot, just water-fountain tattle, summaries, lists and, interspersed, charts and strange doodled maps that only distract."

Chip: "I'd rather read the Talmud."


knayte said...

I spend my weekends frolicking and prancing anyway, but usually solo. SantaCon sounds awesome.

I ordered The Instructions from Amazon last week, but I was never home to receive the delivery and was too lazy to go to UPS to pick it up, so it got returned. This does not bode well for my prospects of actually reading it.

Chip said...

I'm reading it as soon as I finish the Justin Bieber memoir.

@BillyGayCyrus said...

I bought The Instructions and carefully cut out a hiding place inside it to hold the Millennium Trilogy I picked up from the book & magazine aisle at Dirty Dillons. Now I can look hip at La Prima Tazza, w/o giving up my trashy Swedish thrillers.

the boy who played with boners said...


Capt. Octagon said...

Leave it to any NYT contributor to make a review of another's work about him/herself. Give me the fucking news and stay the fuck out of it, I say. I'm seriously considering resurrecting the World Cup octopus from his murky grave to give me my book reviews.

Anonymous said...

Wait, I had an option to read the fucking Talmud instead of this? *Sigh* For a book called "THe Instructions," someone didn't, apparently, read the first one.

Fuck. me.