Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Boys Consider the New Harry Potter Film and Read This Year's "Sex on the Hill"

For millions of geeks, there's only one thing on your mind right now: tomorrow's release of the new Harry Potter film. The boys are currently ironing their wizard robes and preparing to take their place in line for tonight's midnight showing (Chip: "My 'wand' is fully erect in anticipation, if you catch my meaning.").

According to a glowing review on AICN, the film is spectacularly dark, with images that are likely to be etched into young viewers' minds for a lifetime:

"I’d be willing to bet that this generation’s small children will point at this film as one of those that made a huge impression on them. For me it was watching Artax sink into the Swamps of Sadness, that fucking horrible bog witch from Legend and Toht’s face melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark."

But what are the true fanboys most excited about?

In the AICN talkback, Gabba-UK says: "...don't feel bad about cracking one off over Emma Watson. She's 20 now for gawds sake and if you've seen the photos from the premiere you'll know she merits a sprained wrist."

See you in line, readers.


The boys have a long and complex relationship with the University Daily Kansan's "Sex on the Hill" issue. During his years as a young Master's candidate, a fresh-faced Chip often waited near the paper stands with a massive boner for the issue to appear. And during the heyday of "Sex on the Hill," one of the boys' all-time favorite Quinton's waitresses, a budding journalist, wrote a piece for the issue about faking orgasms, for once giving our friend Dr. C. a more-or-less acceptable reason to quiz her about sexual topics. In recent years, however, the issue has become a little dull (although we did enjoy the recent controversy that erupted over a sexy picture of a couple making out in the sacred Campanile, which we'll reprint below in case you've forgotten or didn't see it the first time around).

The new installment of "Sex on the Hill" is out today, and while it largely falls on the dull, and obvious, side ("Europeans are more comfortable with their sexuality" ), we did enjoy the article with advice on which songs are best to fuck to, such as Janelle Monae's "Faster, Faster" ("It’s all about pace with this one. If at any time one of you are waning, the recurring “faster and faster” should fix it." ) and Katy Perry's "Peacock" ("Katy Perry is not talking about the bird. The innuendos are not subtle at all and Katy Perry doesn’t waste any time trying to get what she wants: “Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?” ).

Chip: "When I listen to Katy Perry while having sex, I tend to find myself fantasizing about Katy Perry, and specifically about her breasts."

1 comment:

Capt Gizmonic Institute said...

I like to fuck to Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episodes. I usually catch a boner during the intro song, am fully undressed by the first Tom Servo intro joke and in full-screw by the beginning of the movie.

I typically climax about the time of the first Crooow joke, around 30 seconds in.