We'll be watching at home, immersed in the usual Oscar drinking games (shotgunning a PBR every time a celebrity "goes political") and enjoying the many boners that will no doubt be inspired by host Hathaway, Natalie Portman, and Michelle Williams.
But the truth is, with this weekend's opening of Nic Cage's Drive Angry 3D, we're already looking ahead to next year's awards. Here's Ebert's take on Drive Angry:
"Here is an exercise in deliberate vulgarity, gross excess, and the pornography of violence, not to forget garden variety pornography. You get your money's worth."
Chip: "On second thought, screw the Oscars. I'm seeing THIS tonight!"
Sadly, America's desire to see Nic Cage barrel out of Hell and leap out of the screen in a muscle car must not have been as strong as ours: it earned only $5.1 million and the 9th spot in the weekend's Top Ten.