Sunday, February 21, 2010

Recent Concert Reviews

Once again, Richard missed an important show in Larryville: a performance by "hip-hop and punk fusion group" Eydea and Abilities at the Jackpot.

Let's see how the Pitch's reviewer felt about the show:

"Eyedea sputtered, spat, smoked, and screamed throughout the duo's surprisingly short set...A hipster with a molestache, Eyedea rocked the green chucks, rolled jeans and a plaid button-up as he tore through his opening number with a bleak sincerity..."People get lost in the looks," Eyedea admitted, with a swagger that was more punk-rock-asshole than high-rolling-rapper."

Richard: "Smoked? I thought Victor Continental was the only local performer ballsy enough to defy the smoking ban on stage." [The reviewer later recounts his experience of congratulating Eyedea at the merch table for defying the smoking ban].

Chip: "At first I wasn't clear what a 'molestache' was, but luckily the reviewer provides a link to the 'urban dictionary' website, which provides this explanation and pronunciation information: "MOLESTache,, the unfashionable mustache that rapists pedophiles(child MOLESTers) and dictators wear."

"Swinging the speakers, playing with the mic stand and fucking with the ceiling tiles, Eyedea futzed around the Jackpot's stage as he rolled out a flow of metaphors that seemed effortless... A relentlessly charismatic performer, Eyedea didn't simply interact with the crowd; he physically assaulted them. Grabbing a kid's shirt, Eyedea lifted him by his collar and commanded him to dance. (He actually tried to grab my camera away from me at one point, and successfully managed to snatch some chick's cell phone.)"

Chip: "I still did not dance, and Eyedea ruined my collar."

"As the duo catapulted into Eyedea and Abilities' new single from By the Throat, "Burn Fetish," Eyedea gazed out into the crowd with a desperate look, as if taken aback by the confessional power of his own lyricism. Suddenly, with absolutely no fanfare, Eyedea hopped off stage, storming off through the crowd and abruptly ending this set. The audience looked around at each other, dumbfounded, before dispersing back into the Jackpot's booths and barstools."

Richard: "Yes, I'm sure that Eyedea's short set and sudden departure was merely a result of his being "taken aback by the confessional power of his own lyricism" and not simply the fact that he'd fulfilled his contractual duties and was tired of playing to a small crowd of boring, non-dancing hipsters."

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