Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Boys Consider Larryville's Newest Ridiculous Hipster Sport / Also: Style Scout!

With the hipness quotient of kickball and dodgeball slowly declining, it is only natural that other contenders will emerge. Today, profiles one of them: Scary Larry Bike Polo, a "thrice-weekly meeting at Veterans Park of cycling/bludgeoning enthusiasts" (

Here are some excerpts from the piece:

"It's known to be a heckling sport. I think that's the most entertaining thing as a spectator to watch," enthuses Scary Larry super fan Amanda Intravartolo, always on the sidelines to root for her fiancé, Edison.

Chip: "She's probably right. I doubt I'd care much for the 'sport,' but I'd love to call the players assholes from the sidelines."

Edison himself is quoted later:

"At first, it just sounded fun and stupid - we could ride around on our bikes and hit balls," Edison says. "But now, the fact that bike polo is getting pretty big on an organizational level and has a huge online community, it's fun to be part of a worldwide movement."

Richard: "I'm not sure calling it a 'movement' is a good idea if you want to attract hipsters, who prefer to believe they are the only ones doing 'fun and stupid' things."

And, finally, organizer Peter Lewis offers this assessment:

"On the court, it gets a little intense, but it's all in good fun...Off the court, you see people essentially making out with each other since they're having so much fun."

Captain Chanute: "I highly fucking doubt there's more 'making out' going on here than in the world of kickball, and I daresay I've 'made out,' if not outright boned, 3/5 of the kickball 'movement' in this town."

Chip: "I suppose I can see the appeal of hipsters hurting each other while I engage in a free-for-all makeout session within the audience. Maybe I'll check this out."

Richard: "See you there, Chip."

Note: fails to provide actual days and times for the matches, so you should probably just hang around Veteran's Park till Edison and Lewis show up.


When Katy Seib.l is doing the Scouting, you can bet that Style Scout is going to be a good one. Both today's subjects are interesting.

First up is Margaret Perkins-McGuinness, who says she looks like Kristin Davis of Sex and the City and "occasionally wear[s] suits or ties as an homage to Diane Keaton’s enduring “Annie Hall” look."

Chip: "I don't know who this 'Annie Hall' is, but why would anyone want to look like Diane Keaton?"

Next up is Anson Stancliffe, who describes his look and fashion sense in this manner: "Kansas Boy. We wear jeans and T-shirts. It’s a practical, minimal style...I also like the trucker hat trend. I was already wearing my Boy Scout cap all the time. I wear all my hats crooked, never straight."

Chip: "It's nice to see a normal, truly fashionable person get profiled. I could probably be friends with this guy, except for the fact that he also claims to like Lady Gaga and enjoy Dungeons and Dragons."

Ladies and gents, Scout them for yourselves. Are they fashionable, or aren't they?


corrupt organizational structures limit individual volition! said...

It's good to see Margaret Perkins-McGuinness' friends and family have been trying to boost her esteem by lying their asses off and telling the poor woman she looks like Charlotte from Sex and the City. Unfortunately, it seems they're such good liars she's taken to propagating the lie to news outlets. Doh!

I thought hipsters hated anything that reached "organizational" levels.

Mr. Big said...

I think Anson looks more like Kristen Davis than she does.

EW said...

OMG, these fucking bike polo people. They play in my parking garage sometimes. I finally called the cops (I'm turning into a curmudgeon) cuz I didn't like their whizzing past and/or swatting balls at my car.

I hate Lawrence.

get off my lawn, hipsters! said...

You are right to report them, EW! Hipster games should be played in hipster territory, like Hobbs Field.