Foodie Pick of the Week: Downtown Larryville's Esquina Is Open!

As we all know, the greatest thing to happen in Larryville foodie culture in recent years was when Robert Krause opened the Burger Stand at Dempsey's, delighting foodies and hippies alike with his odd creations (the most recent special listed on the Burger Stand's Twitter page is this: "Black walnut dusted buffalo burger with blueberry-grape compote & goat cheese cream.")

Since the Stand opened, its fans have been asking themselves the same question: Could Krause possibly take a different everyday food and make it really weird?

Readers, it seems that the answer is a resounding "yes!" Krause's taco restaurant, Esquina, is now open in the former home of Round Corner Drugstore and, according to one local food blog (Jayhawk Girl's Kitchen), these tacos are indeed unusual (and absolutely delicious).

Let's take a look at the blog's commentary:

"There really are no words to explain my feelings about the pork tacos. Seriously, pork, pineapple and pumpkin seeds were made for each other!"

Chip: "Pineapple belongs on a taco in about the same way it belongs on a pizza, which is to say that it doesn't."

"Josh said that his favorite was the fish taco and I agree that it was pretty amazing with the fried plantains in there."

Chip: "Isn't a plantain like a banana? I don't want a banana taco."

Richard: "I've been hoping Krause would offer some sort of banana-burger at Dempsey's, perhaps with fried bananas and peanut butter as a tribute to the King, but no such luck yet."

Jayhawk Girl helpfully provides a photo of the menu (can't you offer us at least one good old-fashioned ground beef taco, Krause?), which we'll include below for you to peruse (click to enlarge). And check out Jayhawk Girl's food blog here:

http://jayhawkgirlskitchen.blogspot.com/2010/02/esquina-lawrence-ks.html

Picture of the Weekend: Local Hipsters Prepare for Spring

As spring approaches, local hipsters prepare to emerge from their underground lair (the TapRoom) and resume patio shenanigans at the Replay. This large banner caught Richard's eye yesterday as he made his rounds downtown:















Chip: "Why can't they just wait four more days until 'actual' St. Patrick's Day? Also, who would dare eat a breakfast prepared by the Replay bartenders?"

Richard: "I prefer PBR to orange juice with my breakfast as a general rule, so this sounds delightful to me. Also, this event is the same day as the Surfer Blood show, so in theory it's possible to drink at the Replay from 9:00 a.m until 2:00 a.m. This will possibly be the greatest day in Larryville hipster history."

"Is It Art, or Isn't It?" Considers "The Visible Vagina" Exhibition in New York!

If there's anything the boys love more than art, it's erotic art. We recently considered KC's exhibition called "Ripe," but a current exhibition in New York (through March 20) has the boys even more excited (Chip: "And by excited we do mean aroused.").

Let's take a look at some descriptions of the exhibition from www.theartblog.org, which we will present here without our usual vulgar commentary because the descriptions are amusing enough on their own:

"The most striking thing about the more than one hundred artworks is how few of them objectify women or suggest a salacious use of the imagery, other than as humorous or ironic commentary; the most egregious exception is Mark Kostabi’s large close-up of a vulva in the pallate of Las Vegas at night."

"Chuck Close’s Untitled Dauguerreotypes (2010), a diptych, is a loving study of what I assume to be the vulva of his beloved...".

"Each of the galleries includes an installation that visitors can enter. Allyson Mitchell’s wonderful and hilarious Hungry Purse; The Vagina Dentata in Late Capitalism at Nolan is a lair formed primarily of riotously-polychrome crochet of the sort recycled by Mike Kelly. The large clitoris above the entry is discretely shielded as one enters by a fringed g-string and the throne opposite is decorated with owls — Athena’s, no doubt. Pendant cages house chipmunks (squirrels?), one of which is visibly lactating."

"Close by is Maureen Connor’s wonderfully-deadpan video, Heads, from The Sixth Sense in which a woman’s thoughts are recorded on her forehead; as she puts on make up she fantasizes she’s Grace Kelly, then when she see’s a young Cary Grant and Paul Newman, she’s fingering her clitoris."

"Peter Saul’s drawing [pictured below], Relax Sonny, says it all concerning male anxiety about women’s bodies."















Is it art, or isn't it?

Richard: "I don't care much for Saul's drawing, but most of this is obviously art and I think the exhibit should allow some of these works, particularly the video about Grace Kelly, to be viewed in private booths as in an 'adult arcade.'"

Chip: "Lactating chipmunks are hilarious. Art."

Dr. C: "There is simply no way that I'm not going to New York for this exhibition."

Check out the article and some more pictures here:

http://theartblog.org/2010/01/reclaiming-women%E2%80%99s-anatomy-the-visible-vagina-at-francis-m-naumann-fine-art-and-david-nolan-gallery/

Front Page LJ-World Animal Story of the Day! / The Transmittens Have a New Album! / Style Scout

It's been too long since the LJ-World treated us to a front-page story about a local animal, so today was a rare treat when the boys picked up their paper to find this startling headline: "Elusive, lone turkey moves into neighborhood" (headline from the on-line LJ-World: "Random wild turkey annoying for some, enjoyable for others"). It seems that the bird has settled into the 1800 block of Learnard Avenue. If you want to see this glorious creature, do so quickly, because Chip plans to shoot and eat it by the weekend.


---

Huge news in the local hipster world today, readers: the Transmittens are back with a new album called We Disappear, which is just as adorable as their first (if not more adorable). Make sure to visit their "bandcamp" page to listen to the album and bask in the lyrics of songs such as "Hot Dog Suit," our current personal favorite which clocks in at a concise 1:10:

"Somebody told me that they know where Peter's at
(Where's he at?)
Somebody told me that they know where Peter's at
Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

He's in a hot dog suit dancing in front of you
(I knew it!)
He's in a hot dog suit dancing in front of you
Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah"

The album is already earning high praise from Pitchweekly: "Rowland and Weidl have mastered the craft of pairing playfulness with pathos, even when singing about goofy subjects (unicorns, dinosaurs, hot-dog suits, etc.)."

Go here to get twee: http://transmittens.bandcamp.com/
















---
This week's Style Scout has found an excellent subject in 25-year old Jack Wier, whose favorite fashion trend is sideburns and whose fashion influences are "Jimi Hendrix, the film "Easy Rider" and Steve McQueen in "Bullitt." Weir is a fan of "correctly fitted, proportionate clothing" and would like to see "fewer lurkers, less sheep" in Larryville. People say that he looks like Edward Norton and he claims to have 31 tattoos, including one "designed after a rare Alberto Vargas pin-up."

Chip: "This guy looks like the very definition of a lurker."

Ladies (and gents), is he fashionable, or isn't he?

LJ-World Article of the Day / More Olympic Coverage / And Pitchfork Bestows a 9.2 on the New Joanna Newsom Triple-Album!

A story in today's LJ-World laments, in exaggerated fashion, the imminent closing of the Casbah, Larryville's downtown grocery shop:

The establishment is referred to as "a ground-breaking urban organic grocery and deli" whose closing marks "the end of a short grocery renaissance for downtown."

Chip: "Face facts, LJ-World. Nobody fucking shopped there because an apple cost six dollars."

East Side President Deron B.lt is quoted in the article, urging residents of the area to make the most of what is available, namely the Dillon's at 19th and Mass.

Richard: "Deron bought me a beer at Dempsey's recently. That guy is cool and I'll do pretty much anything he says."

Chip: "The only grocery store scarier than 'Dirty Dillon's' is Checkers, which is full of drifters and hobos."


---

The boys are generally finding the Winter Olympics dull, a little dull (Chip: "Curling? I'd rather watch kickball!"). But future Olympics promise to be a bit more exciting, since a group of pole dancers, led by England's KT Coates, are petitioning for their "sport" to get a trial run in London's 2012 games. Coates says:

"After a great deal of feedback from the pole-dance community, many of us have decided that it’s about time pole fitness is recognized as a competitive sport, and what better way for recognition than to be part of the 2012 Olympics held in London."

Richard: "I find it quite inspiring to know that there's a well-organized pole-dancing 'community' out there, and I hope these women choose to compete naked in the Games, just as they do in their night jobs at the strip clubs."

Honorable Reverend H: "This KT Coates is a distant relative, but we generally don't claim her, as she's a bit of a tramp."

See the full article here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/02/23/2010-02-23_pole_dancing_could_be_recognized_as_a_sport_and_headed_to_the_olympics_.html#ixzz0gTtvpais


---

Any album scoring a 9.0 or better in Pitchfork deserves our attention. Everyone's favorite hipster harpist, Joanna Newsom (pictured below), has a new "triple album" which received a 9.2.

Richard: "Any time a hipster band releases a multi-album project, it's an important event. Naturally, the greatest of all time is the Flaming Lips' Zaireeka, whose four CD's are meant to be played on four different CD players' simultaneously, but I'm also a huge fan of the Magnetic Fields' 69 Love Songs. I'd say at least 62 of them are very good."

Pitchfork says: "Most of the songs here deal with love in some form, another quality that connects Have One on Me to the broader singer-songwriter tradition... Newsom sometimes approaches the subject from her elliptical perch, talking in pictures--"Each phantom-limb lost has got an angel (so confused, like the wagging bobbed-tail of a bulldog)...".

Chip: "I prefer my love songs simple, direct, and about fucking."

And let's end with this bold Pitchfork comparison: "The name you'll most hear in discussion of this record is Joni Mitchell. Part of it is that Newsom can sound a fair bit like her with her more richly textured voice."

King Tosser: "Did these wankers really just say that this bird has a better voice than Joni Mitchell?"

Richard: "I actually saw Newsom at the Bottleneck just when she was hitting it big with the hipster crowd. The show was spectacularly boring."

We recommend a piece from Vanity Fair called "The Virile Man's Guide to Liking Joanna Newsom":

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2010/02/the-virile-mans-guide-to-liking-joanna-newsom.html

This Week in Free State Beer News! / And The Boys Check In With On-Line Lost Geeks!

An article in yesterday's UDK brings good news for lovers of Larryville's locally brewed Free State beer: "Free State Brewing Co. anticipates beginning bottle distribution to Kansas and Missouri vendors sometime this April."

That's right: the brewery's Ad Astra Ale, Wheat State Golden, Oatmeal Stout and Copperhead Pale Ale (along with various seasonal offerings) will soon be on sale at a liquor store near you and on tap across the two-state area. But it's safe to assume that locals will continue to lug their growlers into the Brewery itself, since they are more eco-friendly and also because we have grown so attached to our growlers that many of us have given them pet names.

Richard: "I call my growler 'Growly.'"

Chip: "Is that a subtle reference to the Simpsons' line, 'I call the big one 'bitey.'"

Richard: "Probably."

For a fine article on growlers, check out this piece from the NY-Times, which examines their ever-growing popularity in the hipster enclaves of Brooklyn and contains this great line from a hipster entrepreneur: "Growlers have been around since Christ was a child."

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/27/dining/27growl.html

Captain Chanute: "I'm rarely seen on the streets of Brooklyn when I'm not drinking the local swill fresh from my favorite growler."


---

Tuesdays are for Lost geeks, so the rest of you "normal" folks can stop reading now (not that you've been reading anyway, judging from recent entries) and go back to doing whatever it is that "normal" people do, such as having sex or talking about American Idol.

Tonight's episode (6.5) is Jack-centric and titled "Lighthouse." But most of the talkbacks, as always, concern the Smoke Monster.

Let's see what Crow3711 thinks: "Ben "Controlling" Smokie Is A Different Bag of Marbles. That's one thing I still don't understand. Do you guys remember the episodes surrounding that encounter? First, Ben, faced with possible death, still INSISTS he knows nothing about the monster one episode. The next episode, he disappears into a room hidden inside a Dharma house (which never made sense to me...did Dharma know about it? Did the others build the hidden room after the took over post-purge? Why is that room in Dharma-ville?) pulls the plug on an ancient toilet, and Smokie comes charging in Freight Train style, like we've never seen. Then Ben says he lied about the Monster. Except..clearly he really didnt, cause he obviously doesn't know a fucking thing about Smokie/MiB or even Jacob. That whole series of events is baffling. The real question comes to, was Smokie playing with them still and only came to their aid on his own accord, and the toilet was coincidence, or being a "prisoner" in some way, is he actually forced at times, when certain things happen, to go and protect and serve etc? I think his prisoner status has to have something to do with why he answered the toilet bowl, right?"

Chip: "I think the toilet bowl is a potent symbol of the show being shitty. Get a life, geeks!"

This Week in Oread Hotel News: Fire! / Also, The Boys Check Back in With Anna Undercover's Stripper Blog!

The Oread managed to clean off its "SHOUT PEACE" graffiti in time for Saturday's swanky grand opening only to find Sunday evening marred by smoke that caused all guests (including the Oklahoma basketball team, who apparently travel in style despite sucking) to evacuate to the lobby for an hour or so.

Despite on-line rumors, however, the smoke was not the next step in a local anarchist revolution nor a K2 mishap by the stoned employees, but merely the result of some "oily rags" in the laundry room: "A basket of kitchen rags that had been washed and were sitting in the laundry room in the bottom level of the hotel spontaneously combusted, producing smoke" (LJ-World).

Chip: "I'm fairly sure that these rags did not 'spontaneously combust' and I blame the fucking Sooners."

Richard: "Myself, I suspect it was ghosts. Almost certainly ghosts."

---

Believe it or not, we haven't checked in with Anna Undercover's local stripper blog yet in 2010, but that doesn't mean we don't read it faithfully (Chip: "I usually read it with my pants off.").

Anna's newest entry is a particularly interesting tale of a recent trip to New York in which she tries to pay for the trip by getting hired for an evening at a strip club, only to discover that several clubs deem her not quite pretty enough ("...strip clubs are always hiring, unless they aren't hiring you...We were still wearing our jackets, but you know what? We're cute girls!"). Indignant, Anna agrees to visit the hotel room of a "banking executive" who pays her $400 dollars for some private dances (for the entirety of a Diana Krall album) and helps restore her faith in her own beauty: "I emerged, dressed in a matching bra and panty set I just happened to be wearing, and matching heels I used to wear to the office as an intern at an Ivy League university..."You look great," he said. I wasn't standing in the dark lighting at the Outhouse or wearing my usual Bettie Page-style fishnet thigh-highs, so I was flattered by his compliment."

Chip: "This is easily the most touching story I've heard in awhile. Also, I'm fairly certain that this girl is a prostitute."

Richard: "Well, Chip, it's like our parents always told us: any stripper will fuck for the right price."

Read the full tale here:

http://www2.ljworld.com/weblogs/anna-undercover/2010/feb/22/anna-undercover-working-in-new-york-or-not/

Recent Concert Reviews

Once again, Richard missed an important show in Larryville: a performance by "hip-hop and punk fusion group" Eydea and Abilities at the Jackpot.

Let's see how the Pitch's reviewer felt about the show:

"Eyedea sputtered, spat, smoked, and screamed throughout the duo's surprisingly short set...A hipster with a molestache, Eyedea rocked the green chucks, rolled jeans and a plaid button-up as he tore through his opening number with a bleak sincerity..."People get lost in the looks," Eyedea admitted, with a swagger that was more punk-rock-asshole than high-rolling-rapper."

Richard: "Smoked? I thought Victor Continental was the only local performer ballsy enough to defy the smoking ban on stage." [The reviewer later recounts his experience of congratulating Eyedea at the merch table for defying the smoking ban].

Chip: "At first I wasn't clear what a 'molestache' was, but luckily the reviewer provides a link to the 'urban dictionary' website, which provides this explanation and pronunciation information: "MOLESTache,, the unfashionable mustache that rapists pedophiles(child MOLESTers) and dictators wear."

"Swinging the speakers, playing with the mic stand and fucking with the ceiling tiles, Eyedea futzed around the Jackpot's stage as he rolled out a flow of metaphors that seemed effortless... A relentlessly charismatic performer, Eyedea didn't simply interact with the crowd; he physically assaulted them. Grabbing a kid's shirt, Eyedea lifted him by his collar and commanded him to dance. (He actually tried to grab my camera away from me at one point, and successfully managed to snatch some chick's cell phone.)"

Chip: "I still did not dance, and Eyedea ruined my collar."

"As the duo catapulted into Eyedea and Abilities' new single from By the Throat, "Burn Fetish," Eyedea gazed out into the crowd with a desperate look, as if taken aback by the confessional power of his own lyricism. Suddenly, with absolutely no fanfare, Eyedea hopped off stage, storming off through the crowd and abruptly ending this set. The audience looked around at each other, dumbfounded, before dispersing back into the Jackpot's booths and barstools."

Richard: "Yes, I'm sure that Eyedea's short set and sudden departure was merely a result of his being "taken aback by the confessional power of his own lyricism" and not simply the fact that he'd fulfilled his contractual duties and was tired of playing to a small crowd of boring, non-dancing hipsters."

Hipster Pick of the Weekend: Love Garden's Extra-Special Record Sale!

Love Garden will begin opening earlier on Sundays starting tomorrow (11:00 a.m, which is early for hipsters). And they're kicking off the new hours with a major sale of a new "collection" the store recently purchased. Here are details on what will be available:

"Lots of 4AD LPs, 12"s and 7" singles from the early-to-mid 80s, as well as tons of Sub Pop singles and LPs. Add to that lots of singles and albums from the shoegaze and pop Creation label bands, and a bunch of Rough Trade singles and LPs...and that's just for starters. There are some Amphetamine Reptile and Estrus records, as well as Beggars Banquet label material and lots of Wedding Present singles. That means we've suddenly got Pixies 12" singles on 4AD and New Order 12" singles on Factory. There are records from bands that were good and only sort-of caught on (think Primitives, Died Pretty, Killdozer & the Fastbacks) and records from plenty of bands that DID catch on (think Nick Cave, Sugarcubes, Cocteau Twins & Gary Numan."

Richard: "I will bite and scratch and kick my way through hipsters for some Pixies 12" singles."

Chip: "I've got a 7" Killdozer...in my pants. Get it! It's a dick joke."

See you there in the morning.

Preposterous Local Progressive Editorial of the Week! / Hipsterism at the Olympics?

As expected, local progressives were quite delighted by the recent defacing of the Oread Hotel with the slogan "SHOUT PEACE." Sam Anderson has written an (unironic) editorial to the LJ-World to praise the work of the vandals, which needs to be quoted here at length:

"To anyone with an eye for aesthetic, the painting was beautiful, before its untimely demise at the hands of the hotel. During its brief existence, it implored any who looked upon it to “SHOUT PEACE” in brave, white, simple characters against a backdrop of subtle blue. Its composition both fit solidly into the building’s broad, square architecture, and, more impressively, gracefully mimicked the Kansan sky beyond. The hotel owners, within days, unceremoniously destroyed it. Why? In Tuesday’s Lawrence Journal-World, Oread general manager Nancy Longhurst claimed, on behalf of the hotel, to be “saddened by this kind of vandalism.” Which kind? The kind that inspires peace? The kind with constructive ideals? The kind carefully integrated into the space it occupies?"

Chip: "First, only a Larryville progressive could be naive enough to believe that the power of this slogan might compel the hotel fatcats to leave it up on their new hotel. Second, I doubt Sam Anderson would be quite as impressed if the slogan conflicted with his personal ideologies. When I spraypaint 'MORE WAR' on his fucking Prius, in a very aesthetically pleasing manner, we'll see how long he lets it remain."


---

Although they are already a week old, the Winter Olympics have yet to be mentioned at the LC until now (Chip: "Because they are so boring."). But a friend's Facebook page today tipped Richard off to an important story at www.gawker.com about how hipster culture has "infiltrated" the games this year:

"Though Olympic fashion continues to revolve around flags and garish patriotic color, a strange undercurrent of hip infiltrated this year: jeggings-esque faux denim, a surfeit of plaid, and the world's most ironic mustache."

Read the full story here: http://gawker.com/5474449/hipster-style-infiltrates-olympics-with-ironic-mustache-jeggings-and-plaid/

Said mustache belongs to French half-pipe snowboarder Mathieu Crepel and is apparently drawn over his real mustache (photo below).

Richard: "If Larryville had an ice-skating rink, I'm fairly certain that local hipsters would embrace curling, because it (a) seems so silly and (b) looks capable of being performed while drunk off PBR's."

This Week in Local Crime / Style Scout

Yesterday's top news story was a massive (and mysterious) police raid on a residence at 1706 N. 1500 Road (yes, it's in East Lawrence). Despite constant reports from the LJ-World, however, very few facts are yet known about who was being raided or why. Luckily, we can rely on the on-line talkbackers for clarification.

The consensus seems to be that this is almost certainly "Scooter's house" and that the raid is likely due to dogfighting or meth labs (if not both).

The on-line forums can get a bit confusing, but luckily "OldEnuf2BYurDad" has stepped in to keep track of what all has been theorized at this point:

"Here's the score thus far:

- Drugs
- Dogs
- Guns
- Helicopters, vans and news trucks
- Deleted posts by the LJW
- Naked babies running around
- Possibility of a naked 18 year old running around
- A large pile of sh*t (reportedly: five tons)
- One potbellied pig
- Ex-cons
- Cons
- Old cars, some reportedly being used for visits to the parole office
- Suspicions regarding the handle "Scooter"
- Wood being chopped
- Baby chicks being petted
- Stolen goods
- Legal analyses from the informed and the uninformed
- Unsolicited testimonials regarding All Seasons Tree Removal's competitive pricing schedules and their quality of work
- Poor pothole maintenance
- Hippies naming their children according to the day's weather
- Communal living
- Statements regarding the high standards of living enjoyed by Amarr and Vangent employees
- Cousins
- Butchering of the English language
- Inconsistent use of common internet abbreviations
- Reminiscing about Richard Grissom (rot in hell) and Chris Bread (rest in peace)
- A dramatic escape from Wichita
- An accusation that "all of u have some dirty secret"


---

After a rather boring installment last week, Style Scout is back to its usual excellence this week with Katy Seib.l doing the Scouting (why can't she do the Scouting EVERY week?).

Loren Cressler, 22, was Scouted on his way to the recent Gov't Mule show (although he seems far too square and unstoned to be attending such a jammy concert). His fashion influences are "Robert Redford, especially in “The Sting,” and lumberjacks" and his favorite fashion trend is "when girls wear knee-high boots" (Richard and Chip: "Agreed."). He also enjoys beards but dislikes mustaches. His least favorite fashion trend is "excessive hipsterism" and he believes that people should "wear more ties" because "it's fun to be classy."

Chip: "I think I could be friends with this guy, but I wish he'd tuck his fucking shirt in."

Ladies, is he fashionable, or isn't he? (click to enlarge).

Recent Concert Reviews / Mardi Gras in Kansas Photo Blog!

True hipsters don't go to the Bottleneck these days, but apparently there were enough pseudo-hipsters willing to pay the venue's unecessarily high ticket prices to sell out St. Vincent's Monday night gig.

Here's an excerpt from Ian Hrabe's Pitchweekly review:

"Of course, there was that one asshole directly behind me chattering during the quiet parts (see: Clark's gorgeous rendition of Jackson Browne's "These Days"), but that's much better than four or five assholes chattering during the quiet parts, which seems to be the usual at Lawrence shows."

Chip: "Sue me, Hrabe. I was bored, and if I wanted to hear a Jackson Browne song I'd go see Jackson Browne."

Richard: "Every review of a Larryville show in the Pitch contains at least one remark about how Larryville concertgoers pale in comparison to KC concertgoers, who apparently never chat during the show and are always willing to dance. The difference between Larryville and KC hipsters certainly needs to be investigated, so perhaps we'll take a trip to the Riot Room and the Czar Bar soon."

---

Richard joined local revelers yesterday to experience the sights and sounds (Chip: "And smells, of hippies.") at yesterday's Mardi Gras in Kansas parade, a participatory sidewalk stroll from Aimee's Coffeehouse to Free State Brewery.

We offer two photos taken from inside the madness.

This is Mike West, of Truckstop Honeymoon, leading the parade in a lovely purple tutu:
















And this is a lady greeting the throngs below from a Mass. Street loft in a very New Orleans-y kind of moment (aside from the fact that she did not show us her titties, no matter how loudly Chip demanded):

Is It Art, or Is It...Graffiti? (Oread Hotel Edition) / Also: Fanboys Consider Lost 6.3

Larryville's new Oread Inn (which will "officially" open this Saturday) was welcomed with a bit of vandalism over the weekend. The words "SHOUT PEACE" were painted near the top of what the LJ-World terms "Lawrence's newest skyscraper" (what other skyscraper do we possess? Fraser Hall?). So, is it art, or is it vandalism?

Richard: "Normally, I might say vandalism, but this shit obviously took some effort. I'm not even sure how the painters gained access to that area. Plus, the seemingly simple phrase 'shout peace," framed in bright blue below the blue of the KU flag, cleverly equates our academic institution with the idea of warfare, as if the perpetrators are declaring their own (peaceful) war on the university itself. I have to vote art."

Chip: "My first thought, of course, is this: Stupid fucking hippies. But on second thought, the Oread did see fit to deny me entrance to The Cave and its martini rooms because my sweatshirt and hoodie did not meet their idea of a 'dress code.' All I wanted was to mingle with the beautiful people. So my final verdict is this: fuck rich people. I vote art as well."










---

The final season of Lost continues tonight with a Locke-centric episode titled "The Substitute." Let's see what the fanboys are saying at AICN.

JonJonB offers this bit of sarcasm: "A Locke episode?! No way, I was so overjoyed last week when there was absolutely no Locke and all we got was the misadventures of Kate's confused vagina. MORE OF THAT SHIT PLZ WRITERS, FUCK THIS SMOKE MONSTER AND ANSWERING YEARS OF QUESTIONS NONSENSE."

MacFaux, on the other hand, is convinced that the show is still as complex and cleverly constructed as ever: "...in 5.14 'The Variable' when Daniel is conferred DPhil at Oxford... their traditional academicals, their full dress gown is the combined Blue and Red of so common occurrence in the clothing of LOSTies. And now the temple folk. The colors, just like those in Flags have meaning. I don't think it is so easy as being a hat-tip to Star Trek, Boone's red-shirt assertion aside. Or simply Home and Away, Friendly and OppFor. Rather, I feature than in the end, when this show is watched back, the color codes can be identified as pieces being 'claimed' by certain forces...at certain times. And due note specific color reversals coupled to character actions as well as certain ...progressions...Blue and Red. specifically. I conjure will be seen as indicating that a particular character, game piece or pawn in the larger game is acting out of direction of free-will or fate, nurture or nature, decision or destiny in the course of action they are undertaking. And, also an indication that the character's actions in the larger game are in play and of import. Sometimes, both forces and colors are at work.
Which is why now, I feature James resembles Desmond in Island attire soon coming. Same such progression.. The symbolism of him removing the Tan, neutral color, Dharma jumpsuit. awesome.Think there are are more than those two action codes and forces as well. Sayid in Black... it ain't random. And thus it begins...".
"

Chip: "Gibberish. Complete gibberish. Why can't you geeks just watch American Idol like the rest of us?"

A Special Erotic, Post-Valentine's Day Edition of "Is It Art, Or Isn't It!"

As important as it may well be, Larryville's art scene can occasionally get a little dull. Once you've seen Zaguar paste Reagan's head on a supermodel's body once, you sort of get the point (Chip: "There's a point?"). But the KC art scene seems to be thriving with exhibitions such as Ripe, a collection of "erotic art" at the Keyhole gallery.

Let's take a look at a few excerpts from the Pitch's article on the exhibition:

"...the richly varied line-work of Gear's aptly titled "Ink Drawing of a Vagina" and "Penis in a Vagina" have the immediacy and sensuality of Japanese calligraphy...".

Chip: "This sounds like the kind of stuff I drew on my parents' walls when I was a mischievous youngster of 11, although I suppose mine may have lacked the calligraphic sensuality of these pieces."

"The sensitivity of Hector Casanova's luminous drawing of a female torso, a composition of high contrasts and the interplay of light and shadow, is undercut by its title: "BOOBS!!"

Chip: "Obviously, with his emphatic title, Casanova is attempting to critique our culture's increasingly crude perceptions of female beauty, but did he intend for me to get a boner?"

And possibly our favorite excerpt:

"David Hu has produced abstractions based on the patterns of his girlfriend's Gap Body underwear. "Low Rise Hipster," a clever painting on paper, is a field of cool-green acrylic offsetting rows of paler green stripes. His series also includes "Low Rise Bikini," consisting of a pattern of white polka dots against a pink background."

Richard: "Typical hipster: he's only interested in his girlfriend's panties to the extent that it benefits his 'art.'"

Chip: "I'll bet hipster women wear boring panties."

"The face of the man in Kansas City artist Mary Ware's smart, funny series of untitled "bored cunnilingus" sketches is never visible. While he's occupied, his partner is distracted in one of the pieces by her Nintendo console; in others, she's attempting to cook or read... The pieces are simultaneously cerebral and earthy, witty and not without mystery. Is the dude in Ware's drawings just really bad at giving head? Is the woman's disinterest a reflection of the man's?."

Captain Chanute: "I would love to debate these profound questions with an artistic hipster chick...while playing Bioshock 2 and getting a blowjob."

And we leave you with this mysterious description (noted without comment):

"Jori Sackin's headless, fishnet-wearing cartoon women are accompanied by one serious-looking chicken."

And here is the piece "BOOBS!!"

Happy Valentine's Day From the LC!

The boys love Valentine's Day (or, as they often call it, "Chocolate and Fucking Day"). But sometimes it's hard to figure out where to take their best sorostitutes for a romantic evening. Luckily, it's a no-brainer this year. The new romantic comedy called Valentine's Day will surely rake in the cash at the box-office today (will it topple last week's tearjerker Dear John for the #1 spot?). The film stars nearly everyone in Hollywood and also marks the acting debut of pop superstar Taylor Swift ("Swift, especially, seems entirely undirected, as she jumps around, makes faces and jabbers on inanely." --Variety).

Let's see what other critics think.

The AV Club says:

"Haphazardly toss in 15 more subplots, half a dozen wacky canine-reaction shots, a wall-to-wall soundtrack of romantic golden oldies, and an adorable young moppet who just wants to have flowers delivered to the girl of his dreams, and you have a fluffy soufflé of shameless sentiment and sitcom wackiness executed with the kind of flailing desperation that’s generally accompanied by an overactive laugh track. Valentine’s Day looks like Marshall’s director’s magnum opus of pandering schlock."

Richard: "I love canine-reaction shots, where an event is so wacky that even a dog takes notice. And an audience laughs every time that this happens, every single time, as well they should."

As usual, the fanboys at AICN are skeptical of all romantic comedies, and this one in particular:

YackBacker says: "Lady YackYack and I will not be seeing this "film." This weekend, we're gonna bake cupcakes, mess around in bed and watch some DVDs when we tire of our "majestic friction." She wants to see THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE- she loves 70s cops & robbers movies."

And Tina Turner's Vicodin wonders about the continuing popularity of Julia Roberts: "How this swamp donkey is considered a star these days is a mystery. Strap a feed bag on that hose-hound and put that mutt out to pasture. Damn."

Chip: "Look, with a film like this, the question isn't whether or not it sucks, because we all know it sucks. The question is whether or not it will get me a blowjob afterwards."


---

Do hipsters celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they do, so long as its made clear that they don't really believe in true love and fully understand the inherent artificiality of the "holiday." The best bet for V-Day hipsterism looks to be the TapRoom, which is hosting a "Valentine's Day Makeout/Grind Session with the Jet Set Bachelor / Iggybaby / Juiceboxxx." See the Juiceboxxx album cover below.

Chip: "This guy doesn't look capable of playing anything that would make me want to grind. And how can one grind to hipster music anyway?"

This Weekend in Local Art!

Readers, important things are happening in the local art scene. Hipster art-collective Asteroid Head Art Club has, prior to yesterday, been relegated to the hipster gallery Wonder Fair but last night they burst onto the mainstream art scene with an opening at the Lawrence Arts Center. The boys hope to visit the exhibition soon, but in the meantime we'll offer you this photo of an Asteroid Head hard at work in the studio (click to enlarge and see the boobies):
















Wonder Fair, in the meantime, continues its fine work with an opening tonight called "Let Me Have More Than You Want To Give And I Will Give Back More Than You Want To Take."

Is the art as thought-provoking as the title? Let's take a look at one of the "installations" from the artist (and we'll buy a PBR for the reader who provides the most entertaining pseudo-academic analysis of this piece in our comments section...click to enlarge and have fun):

Odd Website of the Week: "Hipsters Have to Pee" / The Boys Check in With the Huffington Post / Another Major Hipster Show Approaches: Beach House!

Since today's "Style Scout" is so outrageously boring (old people and foreigners are dull!), we've had to look elsewhere for entertainment today, and in our research we stumbled across an unusual collection of photos of hipsters who seem to be stifling an urge to urinate (perhaps the point is to humanize these strange and often inexplicable creatures we call "hipsters"). Yes, the site is called "Hipsters Have to Pee," and perhaps the funniest thing about it is that it features a picture of Larryville's favorite fashionista Ms. Katy Seib.l, looking like she has to pee. Here's the address of the site:

http://hipstershavetopee.tumblr.com/




















---

A faithful reader recently wrote in to inform us that the esteemed Huffington Post has basically stolen the LC's "Is It Art, Or Isn't It?" and transformed it into "Porn or Art," which features a number of famous supermodels such as Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell posing naked (photos are taken from the third issue of Love magazine). It's obviously art (sweet, boner-inducing art), and you can see the pictures for yourself here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/08/nude-supermodels-in-love_n_454153.html?slidenumber=iDqiYRjlGL0%3D&slideshow&slideshow#slide_image

Chip: "Wow, those ladies are fabulously naked, aren't they?"

Richard: "I like the one of Kate Moss's ass. Notice how the eye is drawn toward the ass in this photo. Now THAT's photography."
---

Readers, just when you thought the single most important hipster show of the year would be Surfer Blood's March performance at the Replay along comes the news that Beach House is performing at the Jackpot in April. Oh, it should indeed prove a fine spring for hipsters to revel in two Pitchfork-approved bands, and we believe our own friends and readers from local band The Leotards (Stephanie and King Tosser) should check out Beach House's new album, Teen Dream, which makes fine use of a drum machine.

Here's what Pitchfork says (bestowing a very impressive 9.0 on the new record):

"The choppy verses, nudged along by the sort of cheap drum machine Beach House use expertly to suggest loneliness, explode sideways into a shimmering chorus that finds Legrand busting out a time-heals-all-wounds affirmation over a calliope organ."

King Tosser: "We use our drum machine to suggest funkiness, and we think a calliope organ can go fuck itself."

Richard: "I prefer The Leotards' new tune 'Pretty Girls Who Like to Fuck' over anything on this record, but it's still a pretty good record."

Check Beach House's Myspace page here:

http://www.myspace.com/beachhousemusic

The Boys Examine an Important New Local Hipster Band: Burger Kingdom

At the LC, we do our best to keep you informed of notable local bands (you may recall our extensive coverage of Rooftop Vigilantes and Transmittens). Today let's check in with a new group that seems poised for local success (and possible more, as they are kicking off a national tour tomorrow night at the Replay).

Their band site at http://yardsandgods.com/burgerkingdom/ provides a fascinating bio:

"Masters of reverb, delay, fuzz, loops, puns, and supreme hipness, Burger Kingdom has been churning out hazey lo-fi shoegaze since summer 2008 when the instrumental guitar comedy duo formerly known as Umbros morphed into the current guitar and drums setup."

Richard: "The transition from comedy to music seems natural, and I wouldn't mind seeing the LC make this move someday, assuming Chip and I can learn drums and guitar."

A little internet sleuthing led us to a site called Too Much Rock (www.toomuchrock.com), which is likely going to prove a new favorite for us and offers a review of a recent Burger Kingdom show at the Replay:

"Although Moore announced "This is our last song" before beginning every number in the band's half hour set, he made sure to punctuate the actual conclusion by throwing his guitar into the drumkit. This sent the kit, and Howard with it, tumbling to the stage floor. Perhaps a grander finale than warranted?"

Sounds like just the right amount of "grand" to us, readers, and we look forward to their Replay show tomorrow.

In the meantime, check them out on Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/burgerkingdom

They are looking for a "HOTTIE FEMALE BASS PLAYER *ethnick girls a step above*).

The Boys Celebrate the Return of A.Rusc.n's Party Pics! / Also, Lost Fanboys Speak Out!

Larryville's foremost hipster photographer A. Rusc.n has been missing in action for months, so it was a pleasant surprise to check in at Lawrence.com today and find a new photo spread. Rusc.n provides an invaluable service to the community, taking us into not just the heart of hipster territory but also to other, less hip, events where the boys themselves might fear to tread (such as Wilde's Chateau's Pride Night).

Today's photos are from NEON, Larryville's longest running dance party.

Let's check out two of them (click to enlarge), followed by interpretation:
















Richard: "Look beyond the swaying girl, who is no doubt hypnotized by the sounds of Lady Gaga, and you'll notice that the dancing fellow behind her is holding onto the finger of an off-stage figure, a detail that Rusc.n has cleverly included to illustrate the tenuous bonds that hold our culture together. The poster of the Belles looming over the scene is reminiscent of the eyes of Dr. TJ Eckleberg that hover over Fitzgerald's Gatsby, only here the flier represents the omniscience of local hipster culture which overshadows these inherently 'unhip' events such as NEON, as if to say, You can have your night on the dance floor, children, but soon this venue will be ours again, and we will stand silently listening to the Belles and exhibiting no visible signs of having fun whatsoever.




















Captain Chanute: "Here we see a guy in a shirt with goats on it exaggerating about how long his cock is."

---

If it's Tuesday, you can bet that the world's geeks are already geeking out about tonight's new episode of Lost, "What Kate Saw," supposedly a "Kate-centric" episode (in the parlance of the show), which has led to many fanboy discussions of Kate's hotness and how much they'd like to bone her.

TheUmpireStrokesBach proposes an idea for a show of his own called "What I'd do to Kate": "The least mysterious episode yet. It involves a monster and a hatch covered with foliage. I'll be wearing the jumpsuit. Watch for it."

Chip: "If he means what I think he means, that the monster is his willy and the hatch is her vagina, this guy is hilarious."

Spud McSpud finds other female characters far preferable: "For my money, you'd want either Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) - badass, sexy as all hell, AND shagged Angelina Jolie in a shower in GIA, or Penny (Sonya Walger), also sexy as all hell, but has the added attraction of that posh totty accent."

Itchy says: "Hottest girl on Lost is Goth Claire followed closely by Kate. Seriously - even if I knew Kate would burn me alive as soon as I was done, I would still hit that ass. Just incredible."

Fain88, apparently uninterested in fucking, actually returns the talkback to important issues, such as the show's mysterious polar bears: "They were brought over by the Dharma Initiative (shown in the orientation video when mentioning animal research and the cages built at the Hydra station), and kept by the Others (Tom Friendly's comment to Sawyer about getting the fish biscuit) to test the Frozen Donkey Wheel (hence, Charlotte finding a polar bear in the Tunisian desert where Ben and Locke pop out after pushing the FDW)."

Richard: "No shit, Fain88!"

The Boys' Box-Office Report / Recent Concert Reviews

It was starting to look like nothing could topple Avatar's long reign atop the box-office. Jeff Bridges' superb, Oscar-nominated performance as Bad Blake in Crazy Heart certainly couldn't do it. Not even a revenge picture starring the crazed Jew-hater Mel Gibson could do it. But then along comes...Dear John, a new "weepie" based on a best-selling novel by Nicholas Sparks (of The Notebook fame) and starring young sexpot Amanda Seyfried (of HBO's polygamy drama Big Love) and young hunk Channing Tatum.

Were the boys impressed?

Chip: "I cried, of course, because I'm only human, after all, and the fact that I look a bit like Channing Tatum made it easy for me to visualize myself in the love scenes with Seyfried."

Richard: "Obviously, I'd bang Seyfried like a young Mormon bride, but I still think her best film work is the lesbian make-out scene with Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body."

Surprisingly enough, a reviewer on fanboy-site Aint It Cool News gave a moderate recommendation to the tearjerker, leading to numerous fanboy charges that he must be gay and that Channing Tatum fucking ruined the recent GI Joe film. Let's take a look at some of the responses from AICN.

IndyCollector asks the reviewer: "Did you receive a complimentary cock-shaped straw to go with your sodie?"

Ieatgarbage says (presumably sarcastically): "Imagine if A FEW GOOD MEN had sex with an OFFICER AND A GENTLEMEN and we begin to understand what this film is capable of doing to one's sense of purpose, love, fate, and honor. See it for Tatum, but stay for the Emotions."

But the snarkiest (and also often the cleverest) of on-line talkbackers reside at the AV Club website, where they delight in playing a game that involves condensing the site's film reviews into hilarious nonsense through a skillful use of ellipses. Here's a great one:

"[T]he... romantic fiction of Nicholas Sparks reads like a [t]erminal illness[:]... dreaded[,]... bittersweet[,]... indefinite[.] Just a few minor tweaks away from... eating... a block of wood... Lasse Hallström, the once-great director of Chocolat[] and Casanova,... is... in love with... a... horse[,]... but... he... is... [im]potent[.] Hallström’s gentle... Sparks adaptation... Dear John... is... a... polite, middlebrow 9/11[.]

"[G]eneric[!] [R]estrained[!] [A]utistic[!]"

-Scott Tobias, AV Club

---

Sometimes the boys feel a little bad that they don't see as much live music as they used to, but then they read the Pitch's concert reviews and realize that staying home is probably the wiser choice after all:

"In front of a crowd dense with fringed leather and body odor, Blakeslee (a dead ringer for George Harrison circa All Things Must Pass) shed his shirt--and his inhibitions--as the Entrance Band began their set on the Jackpot on Saturday night in a masterfully spewed Jackson Pollock-like smattering of sound."

and also:

"The band's meditative jam sessions extended out of enough explosive inertia to sustain themselves, but the longer instrumental stretches found the crowd laughing, chatting, and making shadow puppets in the band's static lighting."

Richard: "Actually, I probably would have gone to this show, but all my K2 connections have dried up, and I can't make good shadow puppets unless I've got my K2 on!"

Super Bowl Sunday!

Readers, we shouldn't even be blogging today, since this is practically an American holy day. A very drunken holy day. It's also a day when instances of domestic violence skyrocket (Chip: "I don't condone it, but it's natural to want to hit somebody when your team is underperforming."). Pre-game coverage is surely already underway, so we won't linger long, but let's take a quick look at the new reality show premiering after the game. It's called "Undercover Boss," and a lot has been written already about how its premise cleverly capitalizes on the country's current economic dissatisfaction: in each episode, a boss has to go to work alongside his or her employees.

Tonight's premiere "focuses on Lawrence O’Donnell III, the president and chief operating officer of Waste Management, a major trash collection company" (NY-Times). During the show, Larry learns "that hard work isn’t always fairly rewarded." The Times points out that the show's psychological motivations are nothing new: "this kind of wishful thinking has been around since ancient times, from Greek mythology’s Zeus Xenios, donning a disguise to test the hospitality of mortals, to the Duke who goes undercover as a friar in Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure.”

Chip: "Ten bucks says this show is better than Shakespeare."

Richard: "I do enjoy shows where people learn something. TV has strayed too far from good old-fashioned moralizing. But I think we all know that the greatest post-Super Bowl premiere occurred on January 24, 1983, when a little show called The A-Team hit the airwaves. I remember that moment like some people recall the moon landing."

Chip: "Everybody has such fond memories of post-Super Bowl premieres like The A-Team, and The Wonder Years, and Homicide, but why does no one ever recall 1991's Davis Rules. That shit was hilarious. Take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8isFdZ5BFQ

Enjoy the game, readers!

Souper Bowl Saturday / Weekend Video Pick: KU's Women's Soccer Team Parodies Jersey Shore

Today brings an event that recently made the LJ-World's "Bucket List" of things that one MUST do while living in Larryville. Yes, it's "Souper Bowl Saturday" at the Arts Centers, a day in which local progressives pay up to 50 dollars for locally handmade ceramic bowls that are then filled with soup.

Chip: "That soup better be delicious, because those bowls are NOT art."

---

Athletics at KU is more than just hard work and occasional campus brawls. KU's women's soccer team recently took time to make a video parody of MTV's Jersey Shore (called "Jersey Cribs") that has already received more than 48,000 views on YouTube. Do the boys love it?

Chip: "My extreme dislike of soccer threatened to stifle my boner here, but my boner eventually won out."

Richard: "The video is almost more obnoxious than the program itself, but I do wish there were more 'guidettes' in this town, because they seem like absolute tramps."

Please take 6 minutes and 38 seconds out of your day to check it out:

http://www.kansan.com/news/2010/feb/04/shores-jersey-hills-lawrence/

This Week in K2 News / This Week in Local Crime / Fanboys Discuss Lost (A New Series at the LC)

Thursday was a bad day for Larryville hippies when local K2 supplier/herb shop Sacred Journey was "raided" by police and FDA officials who seized the currently-banned and soon-to-be illegal substance along with a bunch of other shit they thought might be dangerous (apparently the store is suspected of "selling salvia divinorum, a hallucinogen outlawed in the state in April 2008"--UDK). The owner of the shop was arrested.

Richard: "The 'man' just can't understand that some of us use salvia divinorum for medical reasons, such as when the world has us very bummed out and we need to feel that it's really full of beautiful dragons."


---

Just when you thought the crime wave was subsiding, along comes this shocking LJ-World headline:

"Lawrence man arrested after assault with meat thermometer."

Chip: "The article does not elucidate, but it seems certain that this man was a zombie, albeit probably some sort of Eastside foodie zombie who demands his victims be properly cooked."


---

Lost is back, as all geeks know, and fanboys continue to debate whether the show is the most elaborately complex drama in television history or simply a whole bunch of metaphysical hooey.

Let's check in with The Alienist, posting his theories on an AICN talkback:

"If we find out, somewhere that the "Cerberus" system was NOT the Smoke Monster..or somehow Dharma had made a deal with the Smoke Monster and that's what the Blast Door spoke of as Cerberus I will believe the Man in Black was there all along. If not....The Man in Black or the Man in Black as the Smoke Monster was a recent development. Though I do remember Clare's dream, her nightmare, where Locke's two sides were represented by his eyes being covered by a white and a black Backgammon piece. Which one could argue presages The Man In Black's using of Locke's Body."

Chip: "Okay, wait. Is this show about Johnny Cash? Because I thought it was just a desert island fantasy series for sexually frustrated pseudo-intellectuals?"

The Boys Consider Larryville's Newest Ridiculous Hipster Sport / Also: Style Scout!

With the hipness quotient of kickball and dodgeball slowly declining, it is only natural that other contenders will emerge. Today, Lawrence.com profiles one of them: Scary Larry Bike Polo, a "thrice-weekly meeting at Veterans Park of cycling/bludgeoning enthusiasts" (Lawrence.com).

Here are some excerpts from the piece:

"It's known to be a heckling sport. I think that's the most entertaining thing as a spectator to watch," enthuses Scary Larry super fan Amanda Intravartolo, always on the sidelines to root for her fiancé, Edison.

Chip: "She's probably right. I doubt I'd care much for the 'sport,' but I'd love to call the players assholes from the sidelines."

Edison himself is quoted later:

"At first, it just sounded fun and stupid - we could ride around on our bikes and hit balls," Edison says. "But now, the fact that bike polo is getting pretty big on an organizational level and has a huge online community, it's fun to be part of a worldwide movement."

Richard: "I'm not sure calling it a 'movement' is a good idea if you want to attract hipsters, who prefer to believe they are the only ones doing 'fun and stupid' things."

And, finally, organizer Peter Lewis offers this assessment:

"On the court, it gets a little intense, but it's all in good fun...Off the court, you see people essentially making out with each other since they're having so much fun."

Captain Chanute: "I highly fucking doubt there's more 'making out' going on here than in the world of kickball, and I daresay I've 'made out,' if not outright boned, 3/5 of the kickball 'movement' in this town."

Chip: "I suppose I can see the appeal of hipsters hurting each other while I engage in a free-for-all makeout session within the audience. Maybe I'll check this out."

Richard: "See you there, Chip."

Note: Lawrence.com fails to provide actual days and times for the matches, so you should probably just hang around Veteran's Park till Edison and Lewis show up.




---

When Katy Seib.l is doing the Scouting, you can bet that Style Scout is going to be a good one. Both today's subjects are interesting.

First up is Margaret Perkins-McGuinness, who says she looks like Kristin Davis of Sex and the City and "occasionally wear[s] suits or ties as an homage to Diane Keaton’s enduring “Annie Hall” look."

Chip: "I don't know who this 'Annie Hall' is, but why would anyone want to look like Diane Keaton?"

Next up is Anson Stancliffe, who describes his look and fashion sense in this manner: "Kansas Boy. We wear jeans and T-shirts. It’s a practical, minimal style...I also like the trucker hat trend. I was already wearing my Boy Scout cap all the time. I wear all my hats crooked, never straight."

Chip: "It's nice to see a normal, truly fashionable person get profiled. I could probably be friends with this guy, except for the fact that he also claims to like Lady Gaga and enjoy Dungeons and Dragons."

Ladies and gents, Scout them for yourselves. Are they fashionable, or aren't they?

The Boys Consider Hipster Churches / Another Visit to Coach Self's Twitter Page / Recent Concert Reviews

"Hipster megachurch Mosaic hopes to 'crash the Super Bowl' with spoof Christ resurrection ad"

When the boys spotted that interweb headline, they simply had to read on.

It seems that Doritos is sponsoring a "Crash the Super Bowl" contest: people can submit videos promoting Doritos and one lucky ad will be chosen to air during the game. One of the six finalists was submitted by an LA church named Mosaic, described as follows:

"...a congregation full of hip twenty-somethings who mostly work in the film industry and make short films for a hobby...".

The ad involves a prank in which a man pretends to be dead, hiding in a coffin and munching on Doritos while watching the game on a tiny TV. The coffin gets overturned and he is miraculously "resurrected."

The church's pastor explains: "We're not trying to use Doritos to propagate a message, but I think we want people to know that we have a sense of humor, that it's OK to laugh."

Richard: "Yes, I often go to church and think that the service is not really hilarious enough. Surely Larryville too is in dire need of a hipster church, maybe one that occasionally offers a more lighthearted communion consisting of PBR and Wheatfield's bread, and where we occasionally drop in a Transmittens tune as one of the 'hymns.'"

Chip: "While I love the idea of mixing Doritos and religion, the idea of a hipster church is terrifying to me."

Honorable Reverend H: "Shouldn't I have a line in this church-related blog?"

Watch the video and read the story here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2010/02/02/2010-02-02_hipster_megachurch_hopes_to_crash_the_super_bowl_with_spoof_christ_resurrection_.html

---

Coach Self's latest "tweet":

"Watch lots colorado tape so much better tuf task 10-1 @hm head to mnts today...."

Richard: "Okay, I don't believe for a minute that he writes this near-illiterate shit and can't understand why he'd allow himself to be associated with it."


---

The boys love rap shows, but they don't care for the gunfire that tends to go along with them at the Granada. Luckily, the hipster/rap scene is growing stronger in town as evidenced by last night's Jackpot show featuring a female rapper named Dessa. The Pitch's review tells you all you need to know about the mixture of hipster and rap culture:

"Like a sassy, rapping Fiona Apple, opening act Dessa spouted lyrics crafted with a singer-songwriter intensity that was both confessional and political. Between her smart, sly verse, pretty face and read-aloud fan letter to Dave Eggers, at least half the crowd was crushing on her by the end of her set, me included."

The LC's Super Bowl Coverage Begins! / Geek Pick of the Day: Lost (Final Season Premiere!)

Like all true Americans, the boys love everything about the Super Bowl, from the eleven hour pre-show to the halftime spectacle (featuring a performance by The Who!) to the ads. (as for the game itself: not so much).

This year's ads (and rejected ads) are creating quite a scandal long before they even air (or don't air). The one getting the most press is, of course, the one sponsored by Focus for Family featuring Tim Tebow and his mom Pam, who recounts her decision to ignore doctors' recommendations to get an abortion due to an illness she had contracted abroad.

Chip: "In Forttt Scottt we are more excited about this Super Bowl ad than we have been about any Super Bowl ad since the Budweiser frogs. Those frogs were fucking funny."

Richard: "It sounds like a powerful spot, to be sure, and will no doubt lead to many women making dangerous decisions in the hope that their babies will be a lot like Tim Tebow."

But let's talk about the ad that you will not be seeing during the Super Bowl (CBS rejected its bid). It's a spot for a gay dating site called ManCrunch ("Where many many many men come out to play") in which two men accidentally brush hands in a potato chip bowl, leading to an inoffensively comical make-out session in front of another (skeptical) friend.

Chip: "Look, it's a good ad, surprisingly tender, but the networks' rejection is simply a business decision. Gay men don't watch the Super Bowl. I think Masterpiece Theater is on at that time and would be a more logical location for product placement."

You can see the Mancrunch ad here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VMqHb03p74















---

For geeks, today is a day of rejoicing: the premiere of Lost's final season is only a few hours away.

Lawrence.com offers a nice profile of some local geeks who are planning a major party for tonight:

"...they'll be video conferencing this year's premiere with one of their watch-party friends who's since left Lawrence. Food and drink will be provided - all "Lost"-related, of course. "We'll have mangoes and wild boar, and the beer will all be Dharma beer."

And the piece would not be complete without a comment from local Astro Kitty comic book store owner Joel, who gets the final quote of the article:

"If they don't pull off a really awesome ending, it's going to really suck."

Richard: "Joel is right, and nicely succinct, but let's see what the more long-winded fanboys at AICN have to say."


Oliver Hague says: "It's not like [these] two hacks [Lost creators] invented flash-forwards or anything... Besides, I've seen far bolder storytelling in a bunch of Japanese animated series (just try the "When They Cry" series for size... now, that's complex)... I really wish people would stop celebrating this goddamn series already... It's terribly written ("let's throw in invisible monsters, mysterious whispers, strange metallic structures, ghosts, etc to troll a bunch of viewers!)."

gomez33 says: "Oliver Hague, you are a prize cock. just re-watched the entire show and there are very few actual plot holes, the continuity is actually quite astounding considering the complexity of some of the story lines. The damn thing hasn't even finished yet but in your amazingly arrogantly warped brain you seem to think you know the ending. You are a typical pessimistic prick...".

Enjoy the show, everyone! (except for you, Hague, you prize cock!).

Recent Concert Reviews / The Boys' Book Club is Back

Less hip than he used to be, Richard skipped the Pitchfork-approved AA Bondy concert at the Jackpot this past Friday. Luckily, KC's Pitchweekly had a correspondent on hand to review the affair. The review is quite positive on the whole, even while beginning with this statement:

"Bondy's lyrics and stage banter from the Jackpot's stage were almost unintelligible."

Richard: "I think this comment on the Jackpot's sound pretty much goes without saying. Must be a new reviewer."

The piece also offers this interesting description of Bondy's work:

"Bondy's songwriting pinpointed the sound of coming down from a bender in a rural Midwestern town."

Chip: "Why not just say that he sounded like someone throwing up?"



The boys love books about cats, such as Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World (a major recent bestseller), and they are very excited about this week's release of Making Rounds With Oscar: The Extraordinary Gift of an Ordinary Cat. (almost certain to be a huge bestseller).

You've likely heard of Oscar, who was the subject of a controversial piece in the New England Journal of Medicine due to his ability to predict the imminent death of nursing home patients and even awarded a plaque for his distinguished service.

Chip: "That death-cat shares the shit out of me, but I will certainly read his extraordinary tale."

The book hits shelves tomorrow.