Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Harry Lupus: Boy Werewolf / Plus, the Boys Consider GQ's "Most Stylish Man in America"

Previously, on Harry Lupus: Boy Werewolf...


"As the full moon rose outside his bedroom window, Harry Lupus woke up with a very furry boner. He began to howl. Somewhere in the night, a lonely she-wolf was waiting for him, and he set off at a lope to find that bitch.

Even at a half-mile’s distance, Muffy’s musky wolf-scent seemed to invade his nostrils and Harry felt the fine hairs on his balls tingle at the thought of mounting her later that night: indeed, he was starting to love the wolf-life."


And today...


But the wolf-life had not always been so easy. Harry remembered his first transformation a year ago, which began in the midst of a perfectly human heavy petting session in the back of Muffy's mom's Oldsmobile. One minute he was incompetently pawing at her bra and the next he had long wolf-nails which slit that bra clean in half. Harry looked at his hands in horror, then back up at Muffy, who smiled a were-toothed smile and whispered, "I'm one too, Harry," at which point he leaped from the car half-naked and ran home, a wolf-tail springing from the back of his tighty-whities and fur sprouting where there was no fur before."


---

GQ magazine has named the "most stylish man in America" and once again the winner is neither Chip nor Richard. It's Justin Timberlake, and here's why:

"Timberlake has a knack for targeting trends just before they crest. He might not spark them, but he's the guy who broadcasts them-whom we point to for making, say, hats popular again, or for making suits look like they were meant to be worn with sneakers, or for wearing a beard that's not quite a beard per se but is pretty much what every guy at the club wears these days" (GQ).

Chip: "Fuck him. I've been doing that not-quite-a-beard thing for years and no one singles me out as 'stylish.' I also believe myself to be largely responsible for the local trend of hooded sweatshirts."

Richard: "We should all be grateful to Timberlake for bringing sexy back a few years ago and, sure, he's the reason I always wear a hat, but I'm just not ready for the suit and sneakers look yet."

1 comment:

department of social were-services said...

I heard some were-moms eat their were-babies! Eegads.