"As the full moon rose outside his bedroom window, Harry Lupus woke up with a very furry boner. He began to howl. Somewhere in the night, a lonely she-wolf was waiting for him, and he set off at a lope to find that bitch.
Even at a half-mile’s distance, Muffy’s musky wolf-scent seemed to invade his nostrils and Harry felt the fine hairs on his balls tingle at the thought of mounting her later that night: indeed, he was starting to love the wolf-life."
But the wolf-life had not always been so easy. Harry remembered his first transformation a year ago, which began in the midst of a perfectly human heavy petting session in the back of Muffy's mom's Oldsmobile. One minute he was incompetently pawing at her bra and the next he had long wolf-nails which slit that bra clean in half. Harry looked at his hands in horror, then back up at Muffy, who smiled a were-toothed smile and whispered, "I'm one too, Harry," at which point he leaped from the car half-naked and ran home, a wolf-tail springing from the back of his tighty-whities and fur sprouting where there was no fur before."
GQ magazine has named the "most stylish man in America" and once again the winner is neither Chip nor Richard. It's Justin Timberlake, and here's why:
"Timberlake has a knack for targeting trends just before they crest. He might not spark them, but he's the guy who broadcasts them-whom we point to for making, say, hats popular again, or for making suits look like they were meant to be worn with sneakers, or for wearing a beard that's not quite a beard per se but is pretty much what every guy at the club wears these days" (GQ).
Chip: "Fuck him. I've been doing that not-quite-a-beard thing for years and no one singles me out as 'stylish.' I also believe myself to be largely responsible for the local trend of hooded sweatshirts."
Richard: "We should all be grateful to Timberlake for bringing sexy back a few years ago and, sure, he's the reason I always wear a hat, but I'm just not ready for the suit and sneakers look yet."