First was this shocking proclamation from Newsweek:
Chip: "When I first saw this, I felt like I imagine people must have felt when they heard Orson Welles' 'War of the Worlds' radio broadcast. But then I quickly remembered, Obama or no-Bama, that I was still a capitalist pig, and I felt better after that."
But of course the major cover in the news last week was that of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, a moment that red-blooded American males wait anxiously for each year.
Richard: "Readers, we live in a world where it's so easy these days to just log on and watch real people doing it, and that's nice, don't get me wrong. But there's something so...old-fashioned and innocent about the SI Swimsuit Issue. It just makes me proud to be a man and an American, who likes sports and boning women, in that order. And this issue is even better, because we can all feel multiculturally aware, knowing that we're beating off to beautiful Israeli model Bar Refaeli."
Chip: "The cover serves as what journalists call a 'hook.' It makes me want to look inside and see if she actually removes that bikini bottom" (spoiler alert: "She doesn't.").