Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Boys Consider Larryville's Possible New "Diesel/Electric Hybrid" Buses! / Also, The Boys' Read This Year's Award-Winner for "Bad Sex In Fiction!"

Larryville's city fathers are expected to consider the possibility of adding three new "diesel/electric hybrids" to the city's bus fleet at tonight's meeting. The buses cost $600,000 each.

Are the boys excited?

Chip: "No, but this may actually increase the T's ridership. Local progressives might be willing to get on board if they can be further convinced they're saving the environment."

Richard: "But will they feel that saving the environment is worth sitting next to a smelly homeless person for a half-hour or so? This seems doubtful.


The boys, of course, are huge fans of intellectual, contemporary literature and they always feel like it's a nice treat when serious literary works include a sex scene or two (Chip: "I've probably beat off to Updike and Roth as many times over the years as I have to Hustler.").

Each year, the boys pay particular attention to the "Bad Sex in Literature" award, handed out to a "serious" writer whose sex scenes may not measure up to the standard of the rest of their work. This year's award has been given to Jonathan Littel's The Kindly Ones, a behemoth of a WWII novel that also checks in at #10 on Time's Best Books of the Year list.

Here's one of the excerpts that earned Littel the distinction:

"Her vulva was opposite my face. The small lips protruded slightly from the pale, domed flesh. This sex was watching at me, spying on me, like a Gorgon's head, like a motionless Cyclops whose single eye never blinks. Little by little this silent gaze penetrated me to the marrow. My breath sped up and I stretched out my hand to hide it: I no longer saw it, but it still saw me and stripped me bare (whereas I was already naked). If only I could still get hard, I thought, I could use my prick like a stake hardened in the fire, and blind this Polyphemus who made me Nobody. But my cock remained inert, I seemed turned to stone."

Richard: "I like the part where he reminds us that he's naked."

Chip: "I've never found 'vulva' to be a particularly erotic word, but I'll admit that this still gave me a boner, bad or not."


Anonymous said...

It's finals week. I don't have time for sex lit and shoving things in Kip's ass.

mulva? said...

I thought you always made time to shove a squash in.

cl.thier said...

So the vagina is both a Gorgon (with hair of snakes and, presumably, many eyes) AND a cyclops? Gorgons are famous for turning men to stone, yet this man, caught in the gaze of one, can't get "hard"?

Methinks the writer has disastrously mixed his mythical metaphors.

Check out Cleaving for cooking sex!

Matt Met His Mattch said...

I second clot.ier about the mixed metaphors, but does he mean that Cleaving has hot sex, or sex related to cooking (or at least salted cured meats)? Both are good, I just wanna know what I'm in for.

cl.thier said...

From what I've heard, Cleaving is about cooking (butchering at times) with some sex scenes (involving sado-masochism) thrown in.