The Boys Box-Office Report Returns For Oscar Season!

Readers, it's the time of year when most films playing at a theater near you have their eyes on box-office gold and are more likely to deal with overweight and illiterate young black women getting raped (Precious) and the kid from Spiderman as a confused war veteran (Brothers) than they are with giant fighting robots. But occasionally something light-hearted find its way into the mix, such as this weekend's Translymania, a parody which attempts to cash in on the recent vampire craze. It's clocking in at an unheard of 00% on the review-aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes, but is it really that bad? (somehow we suspect it's better than Twilight).

Let's take a look at a few reviews.

The Orlando Sentinel says that the film contains "One laugh -- Vampires, stuffed in their coffins on a horse-drawn wagon, whining to the driver -- "Are ve DERE yet?"

Chip: "That's pretty funny."

And the AV-Club delivers an "F" along with their wonderfully scathing review:

"Transylmania is such a colossal comedic misfire that it makes the execrable Scary Movie films look like masterworks of Preston Sturges-esque genius by comparison. The business of competently executing a joke seems utterly beyond the grasp of directors David and Scott Hillenbrand and writers Patrick Casey and Worm Miller... But no matter how many farting horses, vomit buckets, and penis-catching laptops they toss out, Transylmania slowly drains viewers’ blood and makes them wish for a stake through the heart."

Richard: "A guy with his dick caught in a laptop is also pretty funny. Maybe we should hire this guy named 'Worm' to handle some of our Chip-jokes."

Chip: "I saw a farting horse at yesterday's Old-Fashioned Christmas parade."