Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Boys Consider the Continuing Controversies / Plus, Is This Band Hip, Or Isn't It?

With the inevitable firing of Coach still hovering in the (near?) distance, former players continue to come out of the woodwork with troubling allegations, such as today's claims by 02-03 player Cory Kipp that the coach forced him as a punishment to "bear-walk" across the Astro-Turf, which burned his hands.

"The thing was, that day, it was so hot on the field," says Kipp (LJ-World), who apparently has pictures of a blistered hand to prove it.

What do the boys think?

Richard: "I think I could deal with an occasional poke in the stomach or a blistered hand in exchange for the pussy these players get."

Chip: "Look, we pay this man to inspire our players however he sees fit, and sometimes he sees fit to make them 'bear-walk' on steaming hot Astro-Turf or yell at them about how they'll end up like their alcoholic daddies or their street-corner 'homie' buddies. I'll take a guy who can win an Orange Bowl over the likely too-soft replacement who will probably insist on taking the team out for sundaes, win or lose, and maybe buy them all a kittycat if they make it to a bowl game."


We've been having some trouble deciding whether tonight's show at the Granada by Deluka is hip or not.

Let's try to figure it out.

First, it's at the Granada, which immediately suggests unhip because the band is obviously already well-known enough that they need a bigger, less hip venue instead of the Replay or Jackpot.

However, they are from Birmingham, England (which sounds hip) and are fronted by "enigmatic frontwoman Ellie Innocenti" (which sounds hip).

BUT, they have a song featured on the soundtrack of one of the Grand Theft Auto video games (perhaps irredeemably unhip?).

Finally, we must check the reviews.

NME describes them as: "Girl-charged electro-skuzz punk, akin to Ladytron snacking on The Killers for brunch."

Richard: "Fuck it, I'm in. But I'll make sure to go to the bar and ignore them when they play that Grand Theft Auto tune."


Anonymous said...

My vote is: hip. Considering Nog's bullshit statement that the GTA theme song is unhip, I must rebut. I can easily picture myself doing many, many hip things in the GTA virtual world while listening to that song. Like blasting the heads off virtual cops. Hip. Like selling drugs to virtual school children. Even hipper. Like fucking virtual prostitutes after masturbating (in reality) during a lap dance (virtual). Totally hip. Finally, I can totally see myself driving through virtual Williamsburg on a nefarious killing spree, dropping hipsters with a military model assault rifle from the driver's seat of a fuckin Ferrari. That's not hip. That's AWESOME. Actually, considering that the band is from bloody England. It's BRILLIANT! So take that Noggy. I have no clue who this band is and probably never will. But they're hip enough for me to sleaze on some hipster skanks with severe daddy issues at the Gra-nasty for an hour while I listen to them.

virtual nog said...

You almost convinced me. Almost. But I'm still going with unhip.

Oh wait, the show was officially sponsored by KJHK, so...hip!