Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Today in Local News: The Pride of Larryville

New road signs went up on I-70 this week trumpeting KU's recent championships. The signs feature a Jayhawk followed by these three lines:

“An International Research University.”

“2008 NCAA Men’s Basketball Champions.”

“2008 Orange Bowl Champions.”

Kip says: "The research part should come at the bottom."

Richard says: "They forgot the championship debate team. And they should also add that the Replay won Esquire's 'Best Bar in Kansas' award a few years back. Sure, that's not KU-related, but it's important."

Kip says: "Then they should also add that Quinton's waitresses are the hottest in town, using the Sm.lie ratings system, which focuses on three things, breasts, asses, smiles, in that order. And Quinton's is followed by Jefferson's which is followed by the Yacht Club."

In other sports-related local news, the men's basketball team is nominated for "team of the year" in this year's ESPY awards alongside the Boston Red Sox, New York Giants, Boston Celtics, Detroit Red Wings and Tennessee's Lady Vols.

Kip says: "One of those teams is a silly choice, but I won't say which one, for fear there are feminists reading this and once I got slapped at Quinton's by a sexy redhead for making the kind of statement I would like to make right now."


Rarely would I do anything for Kip... but -- said...

--Your welcome, Doughie

TV: teacher, mother, secret lover said...

Funny. But it's too bad Kip is grounded and can't read the blog while living with his folks in the summer.

Waittress Ogler said...

This bar expert would have to disagree with those ratings. Sure, half a decade ago Quinton's may have been brimming with enough ass to start the Alpha Sigma Sigma sorority, but today it's just a pale shell of its former self. The Yacht Club on the other hand, well, they have some of the finest "talent" this side of the ass-version of Fame!

eyes on the prize said...

Sure, your sorority strumpets are all well and good and there's many I'd like to fuck on the ice bar at Quinton's (if you catch my meaning), but if we're talking individual merits alone (as we should, of course, as we are gentlemen) then there's a beautiful Bohemian barista-ess at the Bourgoise Pig and a leggy Replay bartendress that I wouldn't trade for three of your sorostitues (unless, of course, I could have all three at once).