Tuesday, July 15, 2008

This Week in Local Court Cases (Follow-up Report) / Plus, The Boys Consider Johnson County!

This week, a jury ordered local business Joe College to pay KU $127,000 for copyright infringement and discontinue the sale of approximately 50 of its shirts. "Muck Fizzou" can stay. "Our Coach Can Eat Your Coach" must go. "Our Coach Beat Anorexia" can stay.

Richard: "Some may think the decisions on what can stay and what must go seem arbitrary, but in actuality it's very logical. The anorexia slogan is a celebration of fatness in the face of adversity. That's fine. While the eating of other coaches portrays Mang.no as a ravenous, cannibalistic man-beast. Clearly unacceptable."

Kip: " 'Muck Fizzou' is pure comic gold. It's like seeing someone get kicked in the balls: funny every time! And I already own the 50 shirts that have been discontinued. So I'm fine with this settlement. I've got family birthdays coming up. It's shopping time!"

Meanwhile, the case against Sherron C.llins seems to be fizzling as the mysterious "evidence" was deemed insufficient for trial.

Kip says: "What good is being a basketball superstar if you're not allowed to whip your dick out and wave it around every once in awhile? An elevator is pretty much a private place. And the lady should be honored he chose to show it to her."


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In other news, Overland Park, Kansas checks in at number nine on Money magazine's annual list of the best places to live in America.

Kip says: "I want to hate Johnson County, but when I look at all the sweet young ass around me at Quinton's I remind myself: 'So much of this ass was born and raised in Johnson County.' So I can't quite hate it. I do, however, have a tendency to make fun of the County's stereotypes when I'm teaching, which recently resulted in me being called before the Western Civ. administration and receiving a lecture on how our students are unable to understand sarcasm and that it should not be used in a discussion course."

Richard says: "In my darker moments I sometimes think about abandoning my bohemian, academic lifestyle and getting a job at Sprint Nextel and getting married and having three kids (one of each*) and walking around the Great Mall every Saturday before a nice dinner at Applebee's. But then I remember I fucking love the Replay Lounge!"



*Woody Allen joke

2 comments:

Dr. C said...

I was hoping for a list of all the banned shirts, because the Joe-College case is an interesting one. Thank god juries stil have the power to protect us from those who want to censor free speech by owning all the words! Remember that next time somebody tries to sell you on "tort reform."

I wish there were a list of the 50 banned shirts. Looking at Joe College's catalog, some of them do seem to be pretty clear violations, while others are just funny.

One I kind of like is "Kansas girls are like summer . . . always hot." Of course, the shirt neglects to mention that summer in Kansas is also moist.

our coach is phat! said...

Yeah, I couldn't immediately discover the specifics of all the banned shirts. But I'll bet the local discussion boards and such will have plenty of amusing commentary on some of them!

("moist" would indeed make for a better shirt!).