Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Kip Reviews Summer Cinema: Sex and the City!

Kip says: "Movies in the summer are awful. This summer, for instance, brings us an old guy with a bullwhip and a young guy in a tight bat-suit. Sounds a little fruity, if you ask me. But at least one film this summer tickles my fancy and that's Sex and the City. Finally, we have a film for men! It's about four old women, cougars, one might call them, who live in New York and have sex with a lot of men. It provides a valuable service to men because it teaches us what women really want, which is primarily a lot of sex and nice shoes. And the problems they face are quite similar to my own, such as whether to order an Apple-tini or a Cosmopolitan. Feminists liked the show because it's about strong, single women, but they may not like the film, because all the women end up attached, whereas feminists like to believe that women should never get married. In fact, the film is mostly about a wedding, and as we know all great comedies must end with a wedding in which everything is resolved and the characters end up living happily ever after. In this sense, the film resembles the best of Shakespeare, except of course this is much better than Shakespeare with its witty and risque contemporary repartee about vibrators and orgasms, which I'm led to believe is the way that all women really talk when they go out for brunch. Does Carrie marry Mr. Big in the film? Yes, of course, she does. And if you're a woman you'll cry because you're very happy for her (unless you're a feminist who feels she's better off alone or a lesbian), and if you're a man you'll wish your own name was Mr. Big, or at least that your girlfriend would occasionally call you by that name. The women in the film still look pretty much the same as they did in the show. The boring one is still a lawyer and Samantha is still wildy horny (her character always scares me...I just don't think women are supposed to enjoy sex that much!). Carrie still has a horsey-face and Charlotte is still the hottest. But I'd bang them all. Thumbs up!"

6 comments:

Mummy Fucking... said...

...and too much talking.

This movie should be destroyed.

Dr. C said...

But the review was great. I'm glad I don't have to see the movie now, but I can still talk to all the chicks about it.

kip said...

Old women should either be moms, grandmoms... or shot.

Unless they bake me pie or want to take my seed.

Dr. C said...

to the mouth of babes, eh?

Kip is now in the comments?! said...

Normally his ideas remain in the posts!

Kip is now in the comments?! said...

Normally his ideas remain in the posts!