Kip Reads the Classics, Vol. IV: The Scarlet Letter

"There's a lot of 'thee's' and 'thou's' in it, so it sounds a lot like the Bible, but it's not as good as the Bible, which is the only book most people in Fort Scott ever read, besides Field and Stream. Anyway, we read Scarlet Letter in high-school and it's about Hester Prynne, who commits adultery and is forced to wear a scarlet letter "A" on her chest to shame her, because this is Puritan times. I can relate. When this kind of thing happens in Fort Scott, we don't make women wear an "A" of course, since we're not barbarians, but we talk shit about them at Wal-Mart until they usually leave town and move to Joplin, which is full of whores and whoremongers. It turns out that Hester's lover is the town minister. Shocking, right? And her old husband, long thought dead, returns too. And there's a daughter. And a scarlet "A" ends up appearing in the sky. That's probably symbolic. I can't really remember much else. This was high-school. We watched the movie too, which stars Ashton Kutcher's old hot wife."