Friday, November 18, 2011

Weekend Guide: Sparkly Vampires, Sparkly Singers, Royal Bangs and Bear Hands

If you're a tweenage girl, a vampire freak, or have a boner for Kristen Stewart (Chip: "Guilty!"), the movie of the weekend is of course The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-- Part I (which has been divided, Harry Potter-style, into two parts to gauge as much money out of you as possible).

In a surprisingly un-scathing review, the AV Club asserts: "In directing these final films, Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) has created something that’s half shameless wedding fantasia and half David Cronenberg-worthy body horror."

Richard: "I'm literally crying right now to see Cronenberg's name invoked in connection to these films."

But how do the snarky AV-Club talkbackers feel:

bukaball says: "My wife guilted me into watching the first one. I didn't even need to ask for the blowjob, that's how bad she felt."


If you're looking for an early excuse to booze it up tonight (7:00-9:00), we recommmend you stop by the Jazzhaus (that's right: the Jazzhaus!) and listen to KC's Li'l Rachel belt out some blues with the Rhythm Busters. She's quite popular in Europe, she dresses in sparkly dresses, and you might remember her from such local booze-soaked evening as the Free State Glass Christmas party from a couple years ago. We'll be on the scene.


And of course you'll want to spend as much time as possible at the Jackpot in the next few weeks before it transitions into...something else. Saturday offers two Pitchfork-approved bands: Royal Bangs and Bear Hands. The latter is pictured below. The dude is wearing a shirt with the Morton's salt logo! That's got to be hip, right?

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