Monday, November 28, 2011

Nice Guys Finish Last (And $6 Million Richer): We Say Goodbye To Turner Gill / "He Blows a Lot," Part II: The Ballad of EmmaKate988

Readers, college football is a business and, if you lose enough games, you're eventually going to get sacked, no matter if you are a big fat bully or an upstanding Christian gentleman. So we bid Turner Gill farewell today and hope his players immediately get drunk, open Twitter accounts, and have sex after 10:00 pm.

But what will the future of KU football hold? We've got our fingers crossed for former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, who's currrently suing ESPN and is prone to making offensive comments about his players' "fat little girlfriends." Sure, he'll no doubt get into trouble and have to be fired within a couple years as well, but at least it will be a fun ride while it lasts. We might even win a few games.

Here's Gill preparing to thumb a ride on the private jet he can purchase with his $6 million dollar buy-out:


Local progressives have been in desperate need of a new Kansas folk hero, and teen-tweeter Emma Sullivan is proving just the ticket after last week's Brownback/#heblowsalot controversy. Word spread last night that Sullivan would NOT be writing the school-mandated apology letter to the Governor, assuring us all that certain rights (namely, the right to tell each other via Twitter who blows a lot) are worth protecting no matter the consequences.

Today the governor's office issued a statement of apology for his staff's over-reaction (an act of damage control, no doubt), which included this statement: "Freedom of speech is among our most treasured freedoms."

But we personally won't be satisfied until he issues a statement admitting that he does blow. A lot.

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