Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Liberal Missed Connection of the Week / Natural Grocers on 23rd Street / We Consider Jodie Foster's Beaver

People seem to enjoy Larryville's Missed Connections on Craigslist, so here's another one for you. This guy wants to get into the girl's pants but, just as importantly, he wants to educate her about corporate-sponsored homophobia!

"I saw you eating your chic-fil-a this morning (10ish on Tues.) and I've seen you around before. (The owner of chic-fil-a is against gay rights so be mindful of where you shop.) When I turned around you were looking right at me. If I see you again, I won't miss my chance to chat you up."


Today's LJ-World reports that Colorado-based Natural Grocers will be razing the Burger King on 23rd Street and opening a "full-line store" as part of a major Midwest expansion plan (Chip: "I'd rather have a Whopper."). The project developer says that the store will "carry everything a Whole Foods store does but at better prices" (LJ-World).

Richard: "Chances are, this will be cheaper than the Merc. But if I shop there, will I be seen as a traitor by the over-zealous Merc-ies?"

Chip: "I call them 'Merc-enaries.' Get it?"


When Mel Gibson went on his anti-Semitic tirade a few years back, we swore to ourselves we wouldn't pay to see another of his films. But then Edge of Darkness came out, and we dig a good, brutal vigilante flick, so we (guiltily) watched it on DVD. Then Gibson launched into a series of misogynistic, racist threats and we said to ourselves, That's fucking it! No more will we see his films. But now he's made a movie in which he plays a man who finds redemption through the use of a beaver hand-puppet that speaks "in a Cockney croak that Gibson cleverly develops to sound like Michael Caine on a contact high" (Peter Travers). And that movie is called The Beaver (a title which is sure to produce the most intentionally and sometimes unintentionally hilarious review headlines ever!) Obviously, we have to be first in line.

Chip: "I initially thought The Beaver was the first in a series of 'educational' films I once rented in the back of Miracle Video."

The film, directed by Jodie Foster, is proving as divisive as one would imagine, but Travers' Rolling Stone review is the one that sells it best for us:

"In a style more European than American, Foster shows no fear of abstraction. The Beaver is Walter's id run amok. At first, Meredith believes Walter's lie that the Beaver is a "prescription puppet." The therapy results in a bout of wild sex that may be the kinkiest three-way ever."

Liberty Hall, we hope The Beaver is on your line-up (perhaps with a few midnight showings so we can watch this thing while hammered and laugh it up, even though it is decidedly NOT a comedy).


Anonymous said...

Can't wait to get my hands on some fuckin veggie chips!

Jodie Foster said...

If people would just try my Beaver, I think they'd find that they really enjoy it.

Latecummer said...

Why oh why'd you have to put Mel Gibson in your beaver, Jodie?