Easter Weekend Picks for Godless Scenesters: 1,000,000 Light Years at SeedCo, Life of Brian at Liberty Hall, Arts and Crafts at Replay Lounge

The folks at SeedCo for this evening's 1,000,000 Light Years performance will almost certainly have no idea that KU is concurrently playing in the Sweet Sixteen.   Why?  Because they will be on acid.

Reread our recent piece on the new 1,000,000 Light Years EP over here and visit the FB event page for the SeedCo show here.





The closest that most scenesters are likely to come to a church on Easter is Film Church at Liberty Hall, which serves up a screening of Monty Python's Life of Brian on "immaculate 35 mm film" (get it??).

Chip:  "Well, somebody at Liberty Hall is going to hell for this idea.  Also, I hope they serve a nice Easter ham for brunch."





And what better way to spend Easter afternoon than on the Replay patio for an arts and craft show called
Boutiques des Folles?   These crafts are made by "your favorite Replay patrons," so we assume most of them will be constructed from PBR cans.  Plus, live music from LFK troubadours Lance Fahey, Lonnie Fisher, and Michael Buck.  

The FB event page is here .

Final Friday Picks: mARTch Madness, Wonder Fair's Secret Order of the Black Diamond, Andy Byers' Servants at Invisible Hand

Readers, let's face it.  Most of you are going to watch KU's Sweet Sixteen game instead of looking at Final Fridays art this week.  But here's another truth:  there's a small but significant contingent of artsy types who will still be hitting the art trail on Friday, people who are either oblivious to--or openly hostile toward--the LFK sports culture.

Chip: "I refuse to believe this truth."

It's true, Chip, and sometimes we can almost relate, especially after spending the last game at Dempsey's near a group of young bros who were loudly calling Roy Williams a "faggot" and making cancer jokes.

Anyway, here are some picks for Final Friday. And of course all these exhibitions continue onward after Friday for basketball fans who also enjoy art.


1)  mARTmadness is underway at 1109 Gallery.  LFK's art tourney modeled on the NCAA brackets has an opening TONIGHT and then marches onward on Final Friday with another round of cuts.  (Re)read our behind-the-scenes look over here .   And please vote for this painting which we believe is a commentary on the efforts of science to illuminate the inner workings of the animal mind and...oh, who are we kidding! We just like the kitty!

2)  Our friends at Wonder Fair are always doing things that are completely bugfuck nuts (as the kids say), but usually we have at least some grasp on what's going on over there.  Not this time.  We seriously don't understand anything  about their "Secret Order of the Black Diamond" project (except that there's a Kickstarter element: they need your money to continue their oddness).

Perhaps you can piece some of the mysteries together with help from the FB event page here and make sure to watch the awesome video on that page.  Here's a flyer that probably contains some important clues. 
 




3)  The opening with the most prestigious pedigree is surely Andy Byers' Servants at Invisible Hand.  According to the press release, Byers "has worked with film iconoclasts such as Isabella Rossellini, Guy Madden, John Cameron Mitchell and James Franco."   Will Franco be on hand for the opening?  Probably.  That son-of-a-bitch is EVERYWHERE!  

Servants is a  "a multi-part art experience in collaboration with Lawrence rock band Hospital Ships." 

To understand all these parts (even though you probably missed the first two parts),  visit the FB event here .

 

In the meantime, let Isabella Rossellini teach you about dolphin sex:

Behind the Scenes: mARTch Madness Begins at 1109 Gallery!

On Monday afternoon at 1109 Gallery on Mass. Street we joined some of LFK's most esteemed art critics (such as the I Heart Local Music gang and the host of The Not So Late Show) to make our choices for the first cuts of mARTchmadness, an important new art show modeled (obviously) on the NCAA tournament.    The official opening is this Wednesday, March 27, 5:00-9:00, where you'll be able to see all the entries on display and vote on your own favorites, with the next round to follow on Final Friday.  The first cuts will be announced around 7:00 on Wednesday.  There will be a keg on hand to increase your art fervor or drown your sorrows if you didn't make the cut.   Visit the FB event page here.

Readers let us tell you that it wasn't easy helping to pare the 64 entries down to 32 for the first round.   Below are some insights into our own voting process [Note to sensitive artist-types:  the commentary may--or may not--reflect the "real-life" votes we cast].

Chip began the judging session with this assertion:  "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.  And what I like are works involving naked women, cute animals, and/or PBR."  He then vowed to keep anything with these elements in it, but soon found himself in a quandary with a match-up involving...two pieces with naked women:

Chip:  "Tough choice, but ultimately I'm more of a boob than an ass man.  Also, I enjoy things that are in color."

Not unlike Chip, The Not So Late Show's Mike Anderson also found himself enthralled with some of the ladies on display.

We certainly tried to keep anything involving cats (and there were more than a few) because we find them especially adorable.  This one, featuring a cat with a woman's body, was a no-brainer:




















Another tough match-up was one of BARRR's continuing series of reworked covers of classic albums vs...a photograph of LFK-legend Dennis and his beloved Sheryl.   The Dennis photograph, with its snowy backdrop, is a powerful statement about warmth and protection but finally we had to go with BARRR's piece. After all, it's The Doors with basketballs for heads, for fuck's sake!
















 


And this one?  Well, we simply found this one to be erotic.


















Let's conclude with a transcript (below the painting) of our discussion of Leo Hayden's portrait of a young girl and her basketball.




Richard:  "Leo's piece is surprisingly more grim than it first seems and, indeed, functions as a commentary on how childhood innocence is simultaneously an inexorable "march" into the maelstrom (or "madness," if you will) of modern life, represented here by the cracked floors and the little girl's (brave) facing of the dark future that lies ahead.  I cried a little."

Chip: "Her purple basketball is pretty cute!"

See you at the gallery.

A Special Announcement From Me Like Bees / Plus, Heavy Metal Hilarity with Horror Remix at Bottleneck and Spinal Tap at Liberty Hall

Our charming Joplin friends in Me Like Bees return to LFK this weekend (Friday March 29) for a show at the Jackpot.  Re-read our 2012 interview here and give them a "like" on FB over here.  Their last Lawrence show was on KU's Stop Day, a night notorious for its debauchery.  This gig is on... Good Friday, not generally known for revelry.  But it's also the date of KU's Sweet Sixteen match-up with Michigan.  So there might be dancing in the streets around the time of the gig.  At any rate, whatever happens, please swarm the Jackpot (if you catch our bee reference!) and make this a memorable evening for these good folks.

We asked Tim from Me Like Bees to send us a blurb for the show and here's his response:

"Dear Reader of the Larryville Chronicles, 

This might be the best show you've ever seen, or worst.  It all depends on the outcomes of the NCAA March Madness tournament. "

The flyer is pretty cool:








































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We were faithful attendees of Horror Remix for many months, but we've slacked off lately.  Hopefully you haven't made the same mistake, since this month's rock and roll edition (Death Rock, Part One) is looking pretty awesome.  It's Tuesday, March 26, at the Bottleneck, and contains two condensed horror films about heavy metal followed up with a bunch of  "rock shorts from the likes of Hell’s Bells, Heavy Metal Parking Lot and Hard Rock Zombies." 

Visit the Horror Remix website here .






Wednesday brings Liberty Hall's screening of This is Spinal Tap, to be followed by karaoke ( continuing the fine tradition of previous screenings of Stop Making Sense and Purple Rain).

Chip's practicing his rendition of "Big Bottom" already:

"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo."

Chip:  "Pure poetry!"

The LC Theatre Review: EMU's Ten Minute Play Festival "Snake, Rattle, and Roll"

The theatre scene isn't exactly thriving in LFK right now (Chip: "What? You must not have seen The Fox on the Fairway at Theatre Lawrence!").  Luckily, the ever-revolving cast of scrappy writers, directors, and thespians from EMU Theatre have, against all odds, been around since 1998, occasionally offering up treats like their 10-Minute Play Festival, which continues tonight and next weekend.  This year's title: "Snake, Rattle, and Roll." 

The crowd was decent for Friday's opening night despite some overlap with the first half of the KU/Western Kentucky game which, by all accounts, wasn't worth watching anyway.  Not true of Act I of the 10-Minute Play Festival, which is front-loaded with worthy stuff such as David Butterfield's scary-good performance as a dying man in "The Things We Leave Behind" (the evening's heaviest drama, which interprets its 10-minute runtime rather loosely) and the annoyingly titled but very funny "Kuppulls Thairoppee" (we liked everything but its "meta" ending).  Act II seems tailor-made for LFK's heavy drinkers (there's plenty of PBR on hand at these shows, don't worry) who enjoy their theatre on the lighter side: it contains a wacky home-invasion farce, a very dark Dark Knight riff (which could have been potent but seems mainly interested in dirty jokes and punchlines), and a bizarre history of Henry the VIII with a couple of dance numbers.  Sandwiched in the midst of this frivolity is a quiet little gem from Andy Stowers called "God's Work," which deals with storytelling and (unlike several other of the evening's plays) uses its "twists" for character development as opposed to mere plot devices. 

Verdict:  we fully enjoyed at least six of the nine plays.  It's fascinating to see what can be accomplished in ten minutes (more than you think, in numerous instances).  Add a little PBR and some between-play improv from EMU-Prov, and you've got yourself a reasonably-priced ($7) evening of entertainment that will still get you out on the town in time for at least four more hours of drinking at the Replay or Frank's.

Visit the FB event page here for info on each of the evening's nine plays.





Coming soon:  the LC's Film Corner examines Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers.

Chip:  "There are so many titties, I ultimately had to forgive its unrelenting artsiness."

Weekend Scenester Picks: Heinous Sh!t with BARRR And Rob, Rockin' Benefit Show at Replay, Olassa Variety Hour, EMU's Ten Minute Play Festival

If the worst happens and KU shockingly loses to Western Kentucky during Friday's late-night NCAA match-up, we know where you will be:  rioting in the streets.

Assuming that does not happen, head over to the Bottleneck after the game (or watch the game AT the Bottleneck) and witness "Heinous Shit," featuring BARRR and Rob in something that's "kind of like a talk show."

Rob sent us this little missive to describe the event:

"This boner of an evening is what will soon become a reoccurring event at what is an ex-roller skating rink.

The subject for the first installment of H.S. is DRUGS. Stories will be shared, songs will be dissected, questions will be asked.

Are you a bad enough dude to come see ROB AND BARRR battle it out?"

Chip:  "Is this going to be all dudes?  Just a big sausage-fest with BARRR swinging his dick around on stage?"

 Well, Chip, we assume BARRR will be swinging his dick around (that's a safe bet), but hopefully there will also be some ladies there as well.   

Only 20 brave souls have committed on the FB event page so far:  please join them here.




On Saturday, the Replay hosts an early benefit (5:00-9:00) called "Cancer Sucks."  It will raise money for an LFK local with breast cancer.  Four bands are on tap:  Radar Defender, the Sluts, Ebony Tusks, and Drop Jaw, plus a bunch of chili and baked goods!  Sure, it will probably be snowing like hell on the patio, but go to this anyway.  The chili will warm you up.  Visit the FB event page here




And follow up your good deeds at the Replay by returning to the Bottleneck for the Olassa variety show.  We caught Olassa's St. Patty's set at the Replay last Sunday (yes, they were swilling a big pitcher of green beer) and they were sounding as pretty as ever.   And apparently they became a four-piece when we weren't paying attention??  At one point on St. Patty's, they even became a five-piece, welcoming a guest vocalist to make the harmonies even sweeter.  The show will also include Monzie Leo, some Foxy by Proxy chicks (in fact, 7 of them!), and puppets.  Because it's not a variety show without puppets.  We hope there's a Monzie Leo puppet.  The FB event page is here.  Starts at 9:30.

 


And EMU Theatre's annual Ten-Minute Play festival (featuring many of your favorite scenesters) kicks off at Lawrence Arts Center tomorrow with shows the following weekend (March 29 and 30) as well.  Try to pencil it in around the basketball tournament (Chip:  "Easily done.  KU's dropping early this year, as I've said.").  The FB event page is here.  One of the plays is about "spirit animals," which sounds pretty cool.  Chip's spirit animal is a little donkey.

Tuesday Scenester Pick: Jaill and Widowspeak at Replay

We weren't planning to blog this week, but tonight's Replay show of Jaill / Widowspeak looks too hip not to mention. Also, it's snowing like hell on Spring Break, so what else have we got to do?  Plus, we like bands that are interestingly punctuated (look at that second "l" in Jaill!) or playfully named (Widow Speak?  Widow's Peak?).

Pitchfork bestows a respectable 7.3 on the buzzy Brooklyn duo Widowspeak's Almanac (full review here ):

"A new focus on low-range brings out even more of the "creepy Disney soundtrack folk group"-- Hamilton's original idea for a band called Widow's Peak-- behind the spidery banjo and baroque accordions in "Thick as Thieves".

You had us at "creepy Disney soundtrack folk group."

But it's the following snippet from Rolling Stone's 3 and 1/2 star review that really gets us going: "the overall Twin Peaks vibe is so thick David Lynch should get a production credit." (Full review here).

Look for us at the bar obnoxiously rattling off Twin Peaks quotes all evening:  "The owls are not what they seem!" 

And what about the headliner?  Pitchfork says of Jaill's 2012 Traps:  "It mingles the barely contained frustrations of OG wimp-rockers (and fellow Milwaukeeans) Violent Femmes with a hearty Midwestern fondness for riffs and boss solos, while replacing that trio's anti-folk underpinings with a bit of swagger from power-pop godheads the dB's."  

Sounds good to us.  Read the full review here : the verdict is 6.8.

St. Patty's Scenester Picks: Parade at Frank's, Hoolie at Granada, St. Patio Show at Replay, More Booze at the Pig

With the basketball tournaments underway and St. Patty's on Sunday and Spring Break kicking into high gear, many of our readers will be drunk from now until...well, whenever KU exits the NCAA tournament (Chip:  "It's a second round kind of year. Mark it.").

We're mostly taking a hiatus during Spring Break, but we'll leave you with a few St. Patty's events to consider.

Kick off at noon with a "hoolie" at the Granada.  It's not St. Patty's without a hoolie.   Tyler Gregory will be there.

 


Where's the best place to watch the parade this year?  Frank's North Star, of course.  Grab a front row seat as the parade makes its final descent toward the Dirty Bird. And Frank's will be serving up Irish Stew.

Afterward, head to The St. Patio Show at the Replay which kicks off at 3:00 and features The Recessionists, Olassa, Tyler Gregory (his second but presumably not final gig of the day!), Sunflower Colonels, Carswell and Hope, James Rose Jr, and the Horsebite Tears.  The FB event page is here .

We hear that the Replay's newly remodeled patio is just waiting for you to puke and spill green beer all over it.  Luckily, the rain and sleet and snow will help clean it up promptly!

Then eat some more Irish Stew at the Pig.




Enjoy St. Patty's and Spring Break and we'll leave you with this picture of a Twinkie riding a PBR!  (read the LA Mag piece about PBR saving the delicious and endangered Twinkies here ).

 

Nerd Nite 15 Recap: James Naismith, Prester John, Billy Jack...and Volcanoes!

The Nerds congregated once again and here's what happened:

After Travis Weller's telling of the Nerd Nite origin story, our friend and Pachamama's bartender Chris Marshall delivered a surprise, stat-heavy history of KU basketball, from Naismith to Self.  Yes, Chip booed the picture of Roy Williams till his throat was sore.

1)  Matt Kirkland's presentation on the legend of Prester John,  "the awesomest historical figure you've never heard of,"  was easily one of the funnier ones so far and also claimed the title of "best power-point ever," according to co-boss Becky.  Kirkland explained the stories of Prester John's magical 12th-century kingdom, supposedly full of gold, elephants, unicorn, and...pepper, along with numerous efforts to discover it, including one quest led by none other than "Marco Fucking Polo."


Moment of simultaneous nerd erections: a shout-out to Game of Thrones while "Winter is coming" appeared on the screen.

A possible moral for this tale:  "The urge to believe that somebody somewhere has their shit together is really strong."

 



2) Rocking an awesome Billy Jack t-shirt, our friend Julia Good Fox traced the history of Haskell in particular (and tribal colleges in general) from the trauma of the boarding-school eras where children were stripped of their heritage up to the present day where a bad-ass like Julia teaches classes on decolonization and genocide.  After the presentation, she vowed to take us out to the Medicine Wheel on some warm day in LFK. 




3) After a little history on the geology of the ancient civilizations of Mesopotamia, Egypt, and Greece, Josh Feldman ended the evening with a nerd-pleasing series of facts about volcanoes and volcanic ash.  According to Feldman, "the coolest volcano" is obviously Mount Tambora, in Indonesia, with its 1814 eruption.  Google it, nerds.




Upcoming:  The April Nerd Nite is slated to feature none other than our former guest columnist and all-around hilarious person Courtneybelle.  Rumor is that the evening may deal with cults and secret societies and such.  Skip the Kool Aid and stick with the PBR.

Trippy Local Album Release of the Month: Your Spaceship Awaits You, My Love From 1,000,000 Light Years / Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds at Love Garden on Wednesday

Readers, the official digital release of the new 1,000,000 Light Years album on Range Life Records is still a week away, but we wanted to give you plenty of time to stock up on the necessary drugs before Your Spaceship Awaits You, My Love beams right into your headphones on March 19th.

Here's an excerpt from the Range Life press release:

"...1,000,000 Light Years makes the kind of gorgeously rational music that blings on the page while arrhythmic pulses and free-form effects blur the boundaries in the headphones. Meditatively danceable, emotively New Age, "Your Spaceship Awaits You, My Love" is prismatic music for both inner and outer space." 

This press release wasn't written by White Flight's Justin Roelofs, was it??

Chip:  "You had me at 'danceable,' but you lost me at 'New Age.'"

While you wait for the release, read the full press release at the 1,000,000 Light Years page on Range Life Records here and find all the links you need to prepare your mind for the 19th.

Also, we highly recommend watching this video called "Introducing 1,000,000 Light Years" in which Patrick Hangauer talks about the influence of Raffi (" 'Grampa's Farm' is a pretty hot track.").

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We stopped by Love Garden last week to buy the new ACB's album (because we are hip) and we were chatting a bit with Kelly (because he is hip) and he told us that Wednesday's show with Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds is likely to "get rowdy."  We believe him.   KC's Lazy is slated to go on at 7:00.  Visit the FB event page here and stop by and see Kid Congo and company before they head to SXSW and then...across the pond!






Listen to the spooky-as-hell track "Conjure Man" via Youtube here:

Nerd Nite 15 Preview / Foul-mouthed Dance Party of the Week: The Leotards Return to the Replay

The nerds have scheduled their Nite on a Tuesday this month so as not to interfere with any of the Big 12 tournament (Chip: "I'm pleased to see that the nerds know their place in the greater scheme of things around here.").

As usual, the line-up looks intriguing.  Here it is, with brief thoughts in bold.

"Lies, Damned Lies, and Primary Sources: The Lost History of Prester John" by Matt Kirkland


That's a Mark Twain reference, right? We enjoy references.


"In the Heart of Indian Country: Lawrence and Its De/colonization (Part One)"
by Julia Good Fox (Pawnee)


Julia is a friend of ours, but what's up with this "Part One?"  Cliffhangers make us nervous!  Please don't make us wait TOO long for Part Two. 


"Domineering Boulders: What Geology and the Natural World Have to Say About Our Civilization and Our Culture" by Josh Feldman

We can't think of anything very amusing to say about this one, but it sounds quite enlightening.

Visit the FB event page here to discover that 84 nerds are supposedly attending.

As always, the flyer is terrific:

 



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The Leotards haven't graced local stages with their (surprisingly danceable) porn-punk stylings in quite some time.  To be honest, we assumed they were in prison for their depraved hijinks, or holed up somewhere hopelessly addicted to heroin.  Perhaps they have been. At any rate, they will resurface on Thursday as the opener for King Dong's Variety Hour at the Replay.  Is that a band, or an actual variety hour, or both?  With a name like that, it hardly matters.  Just go and find out. We predict that, at some point in the evening, King Dong and King Tosser of the Leotards will engage in a battle of masturbation jokes (or, as they call it, a "joke-off"). 

Read our old interview with The Leotards here

 

Weekend Music Picks: An Old Fashioned Freakout With Psychic Ills, Blues Control, Follakazoid at Jackpot and Ol' Yeller Returns to the Replay

If you're on drugs tonight and looking for a place to zone out and drone out, drop by the Jackpot for Psychic Ills, Blues Control, and Follakazoid.  Not convinced?  Let's see what Pitchfork has to say.

They give the  "psych-dabblers" of  Psychic Ills (who have been dabbling for ten years now) a 6.0 for 2013's One Track Mind:

"Almost every track features similar components-- rippling, melty guitars, country jangle, hints of desert mirage psychedelia..."

Full review here .

They give Blues Control's 2012 Valley Tangents a 7.0 with these intriguing descriptors:

"Suggesting Vince Guaraldi leading an acid-jazz workshop..."

"... trusses the ruptures of 80s hip-hop rippers Death Comet Crew to the swivel of Neu!"

Full review here

And what about Follakazoid?  Well, they're from Chile?  And how many Chilean bands have you witnessed during your years on the LFK scene?  Less than eight, we'd imagine.

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Readers, some of our best times during our glory days era at the Replay were at Ol' Yeller shows.  Their "muttonchop rock" with a touch of roots was just our thing!

Chip: "Also, back then, we had a real boner for this Ol' Yeller-loving gal named H...".

That's enough, Chip.  Anyway, it's been a long time since we've seen these Minnesota heroes, but we're pleased to report that they are not dead (if you get our film reference!) and in fact will be stopping by the Replay on Saturday on their way to SXSW.  They've even got a new album called Levels.

Give them a "like" on FB over here and head to the Replay Saturday, although we probably won't be there, since we don't want to sully our old memories.  They'll be playing with Art Dodge and the Horsefeathers.  Of course they will.

Yet ANOTHER Very Special Message From The Noise FM: See Them at Bottleneck on Friday With Quiet Corral and The Envy Corps

As you may know by now, when the Chicago-based "Noise Boys" of The Noise FM have a show in LFK we always ask them to send us a "very special message" about the gig.  Their last several appearances have been holiday affairs and benefits and such, but their Bottleneck show tomorrow (Friday, March 8) is just a plain old rock show as best as we can tell, so you don't have to worry about dressing up or doing good deeds or any of that crap.  Just go and drink and rock.   They're opening up for The Envy Corps and Quiet Corral and they go on early at 9:00-ish, so don't be tardy. 

Revisit our official Noise Boys interview here (yes, it's the one with the legendary picture of Austin walking Mr. Budget on cuteboyswithcats.net ).

And revisit our Quiet Corral interview here (contains a fun Rufus Wainwright encounter).

And check out The Envy Corps on FB here (because we haven't interviewed those gents yet).

Now here is this gig's blurb from Alex from The Noise FM, complete with a timely Hugo Chavez joke:

"We recently announced our spring tour dates, which mistakenly includes a stop in Springfield, Missouri on March 17. Austin FM booked the tour and didn’t realize there was more than one Springfield in America when I said, “Book us in Springfield because it’s on our way home.” Though I was referring to Springfield, ILLINOIS, we’ll play the show regardless because it’s St. Patrick’s Day and there’s a 40% chance the venue will give us a free drink.  Anyway, there’s a Facebook event for the Springfield, Missouri show, and some dude wrote on the wall, "Holy shit, The  Noise FM are still around? Saw them in '07 ... awesome."  You’re god damn right we’re still around. We'll always be around -- just like the penny, the pope, and Hugo Chavez. 

We're coming home to Lawrence on Friday for a show at The Bottleneck with our buds in Quiet Corral. We're kicking off the show early at 9pm so we're anticipating a crowd still buzzed on La Familia margs.  You can expect to hear lots of new material from our upcoming years-in-the-making record "Chinese Democracy."

 

And here are the Noise Boys on a romantic ferris wheel ride together:

Our Chat With Kentucky Comic Versace BB: "l'm the only authentic gangster-ass redneck."

As noted earlier, it's a big week for stand-up comedy in LFK.  Tonight's Jazzhaus showcase is bringing in some Chicago cats and, our personal favorite, the Kentucky gentleman Versace BB.  We had a chance to quiz Versace today about his comedy and his influences.  Enjoy!  And remember that the date on the flier below is wrong (these shenanigans happen TONIGHT!  Doors at 7:30).

Chip: I dig Southern comedy. Would you say that you are more like Jeff Foxworthy or Larry the Cable Guy? Because both are fucking hilarious.

Versace BB:  Well, Chip, first off thxxx 4 havin me. Yes. l'm southern. Shit is much different in Kentucky. l travel a lot to do comedy. All over the world. But...the SOUTH rides with me! Jeff Foxworthy is actually my uncle. l don't usually talk about it. REAL TALK. We're very different. Uncle Jeff is really square, don't know what he even really thinks of my comedy. He keeps it clean. l have gold teeth and a coon skin cap at some shows. He's making a killing so... l can't front on that. Get thoze staxxx, son! Larry the Cable Guy is a fake-ass bitch too. He used to wear sleeves. Pauly Shore's mom told him to rip them shits off. He did it and, poot, he's famous. A famous dicksickle. l'm the only authentic gangster-ass redneck. Tag em and bag em. l get all that azz.

Richard: Tell us about your comedic influences. Also, who do you think is the best nationally-known comedian working today and why? Gervais insists that it's Louis CK.

Versace BB:   Obviously l love CK. Gervais is killin it. But l'd rather be watching Doug Stanhope, Brian Posein, or Bill Burr. Patrice O'Neal was the man tho. R.I.P. Sometimes you just gotta let bitches kno they bitches. Especially if you talkin to a big fukn baby....thinkn he "indy." Shut up, bitch!

Chip: You don't do "anti-comedy" do you. Because I like my comedy to be funny. Will there be actual jokes at this show? And will there be any dick jokes, because those are my favorite.

Versace BB:   This ain't anti-comedy. lt's comedy. Maybe a bit larger than life and in your face but that's my life. I was born in the back of a Cadillac in a Carl's Jr. drive thru. True story. My pops was mad hungry. My mom was havin a baby. They never saw eye 2 eye. l was always stuck in the middle. This pretty much formed my life. Crazy fuckd shit sittin around smokin weed and avoiding my fukd up methed-out neighborz. So...you could say that Death Row records raised me and we were too poor for Aldi. That's it. Rap and hunting...and A LOT OF WEED. l can talk about my dick for hours on some real shit too. If that sounds like something you want to hear jokes about then you'll laugh till u GZA. 

Chip:  I'm fucking hyped, Versace! I can talk about my dick for hours too.  For instance, let me tell you this story about this boner I had last week...

Richard: So I know that you're a Kentucky gentleman, but are you familiar at all with the LFK comedy scene. There's a real abrasive cat named BARRR that does some interesting stuff. Ever heard of him?

Versace BB:  Yeah. I fucks with BARRR. That dude performed with me on tour last year. A few small clubz/bars on a 2 week tour. He invited me to come to Lawrence. Just poppn thru. l once saw him almost get stabbed in Mississippi after farting on some drunk bitch. He called that crowd-work. Laughed my ass off. That dude has major drug/booze problems.... but I def fuck with him.

Chip: Tell our readers why they absolutely MUST attend this show at the Jazzhaus. Also, do you use props in your act? Please tell me yes. Prop comics are my favorite.

Versace BB:  This show haz 3 separate seasoned comedians traveling here to perform. This aint no bullshit. That fuckn weirdo Ed Parker is puttin together one hell of a show. l don't know much about the Jizz Haus but if they fuckn with Versace BB....it must be a sicc-ass joint. lf you like 2 laugh & u aint a bitch then come fuck with me. l just bought new fronts for this show.  NOTHlN BUT REALTREE & GOLD, BlTCH!

Boner Joke Alert: Important Stand-Up Comedy Events at Jazzhaus on Thursday and Frank's on Friday / New Songs from The ACB's

The LFK comedy scene doesn't always get much attention, on this blog or elsewhere, so we wanted to make sure and feature two worthy events this Thursday, March 7 at the Jazzhaus (yes, at the Jazzhaus) and  Friday, March 8 at Frank's. (NOTE:  the flyer below is wrong:  the Jazzhaus show IS on Thursday).

We can't claim to know much about these cats at the Jazzhaus, but we do know that some of them are from Chicago and that the "special guest," Versace BB, is a crazed Kentucky hillbilly-gangster.  Chip is intrigued by this Versace character, and currently pursuing an interview.

The cleverly titled comedy showcase "Cheers With the Cast of Friends" is scheduled for 9:30 on Friday at Frank's.  It features our friend Peter Lyrene, Chance Dibben, and many others.

Peter offers this comment on why the event is an absolute MUST-attend for scenesters:

"CWCF is all about the tatted up underemployed locals, some of whom have been writing comedy as a serious hobby but haven't performed in Lawrence yet."

So go and support them and maybe they won't have to pick up that fourth part-time job. And hopefully some of the cast of Friends will actually drop by as well.  Schwimmer doesn't seem to be doing much else these days, does he?

Visit the FB event page here to learn that at least 45 of your comedy-loving friends are ready for some dick jokes!



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On the music front, The ACB's new album Little Leaves is out today.  Oh, it's all very pretty, and just the perfectly-polished break from sloppy garage rock that we are needing!  For an actual review, turn to our friends over at I Heart Local Music here , but please read it while LISTENING.

Our favorite line:  the haunting refrain of "Nobody wants me there...but I'm onnnn my way" from "Xanies."

Because we don't approve of leaving LFK, we missed the ACB's major record release party with Fourth of July at the Record Bar last week, but hopefully they'll be visiting LFK this spring when the Fourth of July record lands (if not before). 

Listen up and order via Bandcamp.

Saturday Scenester Picks: Craft Beer Expo, Variety Show at Frank's, Honky-Tonk at Slow Ride

The Kansas Craft Brewers Exhibition returns to Abe and Jake's today (we didn't even know Abe and Jake's was still functional).  We'll be protesting because there's no PBR on the premises, but this event is a big deal, so hopefully you've got tickets in hand and are ready for a fine day of beer swilling and touring the Bowersock hydroelectric plant and such.  Visit the official website here for a schedule of events, ticket info, list of beer vendors, etc.

 

We're especially curious about the Peace Tree Brewing Co. out of Iowa, which we assume is composed of hippies.  They have a seasonal called Black River Gumbo Stout.

Chip:  "I hear that each bottle has a shrimp floating in the bottom, like the worm in a bottle of tequila.  This may not be true."

Check out their website here.

Here's the Red Rambler Ale logo from Peace Tree:

 

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Waaaay over on the North Side, our good friend Steve Dahlberg and his honky-tonk pals in Cryin' Out Loud are playing at the Slow Ride.  (for you scenesters, that's the other bar on the North Side besides Frank's and Gaslight...you know,  the biker bar!  the one you've been scared to go to).   They start early (8:30-ish) and go late (1:00 or so).  And they play a mean cover of Old 97's "Victoria," so request that one for us, since we probably can't make it.  They're also competing with legendary Texas singer-songwriter Robert Earl Keen across the river at the Granada, so Steve better step up his storytelling skills between songs to give ol' Robert Earl a run for his money!   FB event page here .

Cryin' Out Loud:



Robert Earl Keen:

 

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Another option is to head to Frank's for some late-night variety-show action as our friends from Card Table Theater serve up another round of their "Under the Table Show."  This one promises a "sketch about a sad kangaroo" as well as "Old School Rock from the German Foreign Exchange Kids."  However, those with coulrophobia should beware:  there WILL be clowns at this show.  Visit the FB event page here .