Guest Column: Andy Morton on Death and Dick Jokes (A Very Special Message From Loaded For Bear, Vol. II) / Hippie Pick of the Day: Infamous Stringdusters at Bottleneck

Readers, if you are like us, watching Andy Morton's 1-on-1 Trivia on Channel 6 while drinking PBR and playing along is an integral part of your week. It's even become part of our vocabulary.  When Chip is befuddled (which is often), he loves to shout,  "I'm gonna use my Alan!"

So we're quite pleased to have LFK legend Andy drop by today for this guest column to promote this weekend's Loaded For Bear comedy shows at the Arts Center (Friday and Saturday at 9:00).  Andy is a co-producer and also stars in this weekend's shows, and in this moving piece he assures us that the shows will, indeed, have plenty of dick jokes.

HOW I BECAME INVOLVED IN LOADED FOR BEAR 3: ROCKET TO AWESOME by Andy Morton, co-producer

How did I become involved with "Loaded for Bear"? Ah, the memories:

I used to be in charge of a Speed Dating service out at Brandon Woods. My job was to follow up on the couples, monitor their progress, and make sure that all of their funeral arrangements were in order. After successfully matching Matt [Gaus, co-producer] and Emily [Lowrance-Floyd, co-producer, director], I noticed that I would frequently bump into them in public, which was odd because whenever I would ask Emily to pay me for the dating service, she would insist that she couldn't bring me a check because she was agoraphobic. (I know that's not funny; it's really kind of sad. She can't help it that she's a liar.)

The first time that Matt died, I wrote a heartfelt memorial speech and read it during his funeral. I thought it was fittingly tender and packed an emotional punch that clearly demonstrated how he had touched my life. Emily thought it was a two-minute "dick joke" that I was trying to sneak past everybody and she was infuriated for days.

Luckily, when Matt came back to life, he told Emily that my speech was entertaining and we should put together a show that is all about old people, death, and dick jokes. Ta-da! "Loaded for Bear"!

I'd like to think that I've learned some other styles of comedy along the way, but as I read back over what I have written for this website, I see that I still have much to learn.

If you are reading this, and willing to die so I can have another chance at being funny, it would be greatly appreciated.

LYLAS,

Andy (the short one)

P.S. Come see Loaded for Bear 3: Rocket to Awesome, Lawrence Arts Center, November 16^th and 17^th, 9:00 p.m. Tickets on sale now!



Thanks, Andy!

Now take a look at this powerful "Oscar moment" from Loaded for Bear:  




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If you're looking for the most well-attended show in town tonight, and the one most full of people who are fucking HYPED that Colorado legalized weed last week, head to the Bottleneck and check out The Infamous Stringdusters.  These high-energy pickers and grinners are getting a lot of buzz these days, and it's another show sponsored by Free State Brewery (these shows have been packing the house at recent gigs by Junior Brown and The Gourds and James McMurtry).  Starts at 9:00. 

 Here they are in black and white via the Examiner, but they'll appear in color at the Bottleneck: