Monday, June 16, 2008

Weekly Replay Roundup, Vol. II / Bloomsday (in Ft. Scott!) / The Boys Prepare For a Chautaqua!

Each year at the Replay there are a number of perfect moments when the bar proves its greatness. Last night brought us one. With a wall-to-wall patio crowd composed of equal parts hippies and punks, local bluegrass barnburners The Dewayne Brothers performed a version of the Dead Milkmen's "The Thing That Only Eats Hippies," briefly uniting these two groups of mortal enemies as both joined forces (to make fun of hippies).

As our readers no doubt know, today, June 16 is the day on which the events of Joyce's Ulysses transpire and on which admirers across the world gather to read the book in whole or parts. Kip has decided to bring a little culture to Ft. Scott today, wandering about town like a traveling minstrel and reading the dirty bits on a podium in the town square: " . . . and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes." Responses to Kip's performance are likely to be mixed, ranging from bystanders saying, "What the fuck?" and "This is a bit gay," to more positive reviews: "I'm so proud of him!" (Kip's mom).

In Larryville this week comes the much-anticipated Kansas/Nebraska Chautaqua, this year focusing on America in the 1930's and featuring local actors and historians portraying such figures as FDR, Zora Neale Hurston, Huey Long, and Will Rogers.

Kip says: "The mistake is letting Nebraska participate in this enterprise. While they don't suck as much as Missour-a, they still suck, bad."

Richard says: "It hasn't been publicized much, but I'll be making a Chataqua appearance as...Charles Lindbergh!"


Chataquaphobic said...

The word "chataqua" scares me.

Nocturnal Emissions said...

Now "chautaqua" - that word fills me with a sense of joy I only experience in dreams...highly sensual, somewhat sticky dreams.

Dr. C said...

When the one with a discharge is cleansed of his discharge, he shall count seven days for his cleansing; he shall wash his clothes and bathe his body in fresh water, and he shall be clean. On the eighth day he shall take two turtle doves or two pigeons and come before the Lord to the entrance of the tent of meeting and give them to the priest. The priest shall offer them, one for a sin offering, the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make atonement on his behalf before the Lord for his discharge.

Dr. C said...

You know Cruden's "Complete" Concordance has no entry on "discharge," "bodily discharge," "emission," "bodily emission," "nocturnal emission," or even "semen"!

cruden said...

Concordances are very dull.

But chataquas are very great!