Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Jazzhaus Gets Chronicled (Without Kip!)

Of course Richard has been to the Jazzhaus many times over the years, but never as part of the Chronicles' official tour of local bars. The time finally arrived last night, as he joined local tunesmith Cl.thier at the weekly open-mic night.

The main thing to know about the Jazzhaus is that there's no jazz. Ever. Under any circumstances. There's "horn-section funk," and "hippie jamgrass" and shitty watered-down blues, but jazz just doesn't go over with the crowds there. Jazz makes people concentrate on the music, and the Jazzhaus does not want people to concentrate on the music, but simply to get drunk...and dance...by candelight. Indeed, the Jazzhaus has always seemed untainted by the hipsterism of the Replay, the Jackpot, and the TapRoom. Jazzhaus crowds want to get drunk and then get laid and that's it. Simple. And sometimes they have a "shitty beer" night (Hamm's, Old Style, Schlitz, cans for a buck).

At the bar last night, Cl.thier and Richard discussed the passing of George Carlin, with Cl.thier providing a poet's perspective, marveling at the amount of time and care that likely went into the ordering of the "seven words" ("Shitpissfuckcuntmotherfuckercocksuckertits"). "I sincerely hope," Cl.thier said, "to write something that beautiful one of these days." During their discussion they were treated to covers of O.A.R and Sinead O'Connor by various local troubadours. Cl.thier himself had been granted the prime 1:02 to 1:17 a.m. slot ("People are at the peak of their drunkenness right about 1:12"), but Richard called it an evening before the time came.

But where was Kip? Rumor has it that he's attending the Country Stampede in Manhattan, where he's the only person there who enjoys tennis and has a full set of teeth.

2 comments:

Dr. C said...

Ahh the Jazzhaus.I had some really great times there. Jayhawks games from uplifting victories to crushing defeats. Some fun times dancing, too.

I don't think, though, that I ever saw a really good show there. The music was always just okay at best.

I think about old beer commercials when you mention their cheap beer nights. I was reminded of Schlitz's campaign the other day: "Schlitz malt liquor . . . beer." And didn't they have a bull that crashed through the wall in their commercials?

Was Hamm's the beer that had the cartoon bear in its commercials? Beer commercials were so much more interesting when they were allowed to advertize to minors.

hamm's! said...

Yeah, I believe Hamm's had the bear. Apparently some local connoisseurs enjoy a "Hamm's on ice." Sounds odd. (sounds odd enough to try!).