Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Boys Hollywood Report!

Chip recently learned that many women were intrigued by juicy Hollywood tales regarding their favorite stars and upcoming films. Having only seen a total of six films himself, Chip was surprised, but nonetheless determined that the boys should capitalize on this phenomenon and perhaps attract more female readers (right now we have four).

Our first bit of movie-related news is particularly worthy of LC discussion as it relates to a literary classic: Moby Dick. As you may have heard, a new version is the works to be helmed by Russian director Timur Bekmambetov, who gave us this summer's Angelina Jolie action-picture, Wanted. The filmmakers are promising to fully capitalize on today's CGI technology, ditching Ishmael's narration in favor of a "graphic novel" feel and providing a backstory involving the whale's earlier battles. The filmmakers promise this will be a full on "action-adventure revenge story" to be written by some fellows who recently worked on the Olsen twins' film New York Minute. How do the boys feel about this?

Chip: "As a literary elitist and self-professed fan of the "old dead white men" school of literature, one would expect me to be a little dismayed. The truth, however, is that most of today's readers simply aren't smart enough to read Moby Dick. And there is an awful lot of material in there about whale blubber...some of that fat can probably be trimmed with no great harm to the book, we've got to admit."

Richard: "I've always felt a little unclear regarding the whale's motivations and I believe this backstory may provide some much-needed psychological insight. I just hope there's a way to find roles for the Olsen twins."

More disappointing is our second story of the day: LC favorite Scarlet Johannsen finally tied the knot this week. The lucky fellow: Ryan Reynolds.

Richard: "He just seems awfully boring to me. Like he might be the kind of guy who'd want to discuss an interesting science article he saw in the Times while he's banging one of the sexiest women on the planet. It's not even very hot to imagine them doing it, you know?"

Chip: "Yeah, I imagine he spends a lot of time discussing his 'feelings.' I hate dudes like that."

And finally: Chip's DVD pick of the week--Sex and the City: The Movie!

Chip: "Some of you may remember my rave review of this from earlier in the summer. Well, let's just say that seeing this in the theater was a treat, but seeing it at home--curled up in your jammies with a bowl of ice cream--is just heaven."


Anonymous said...

Get hip, Hipster!

The real Hollywood moguls know that the phat new trend isn't Hollywood (we got strikes coming up) --


--Now let's get some on with our best dance numbers!

Anonymous said...

Who will play me? I vote Russell Crowe. Or Ashton Kutcher!