Monday, December 5, 2011

The East Side vs. Doug Compton / Hanging Dong on the Big Screen

An important local showdown is slated for tomorrow, when the City Fathers will consider plans for the new six-story hotel/apartment building next to the Arts Center. The Percolator folks are hard at work on protest signs that read "Please don't take our sunshine away." But will this be enough to stop the march of "progress?" Let's see what the talkbackers are saying.

Consumer1 says: "Look where the shadow falls this time of year??? There is almost no shadow at all, and in the summer time they should wecome the shadow from the intense evening summer sun. What a bunch of crybabies!! Grow a pair!!"

Deec counters with a Compton-attack (complete with a fantastic zebra reference): "Compton rarely if ever has built a project without taxpayer subsidies. His company is a predatory landlord. He had an unoccupied house that was within the environs of a historic structure that he didn't want to build around mysteriously burn to the ground. He buys up buildings and lets them deteriorate for years, then asks for taxpayer funds to fix them up. A zebra he owned attacked an employee. That's for starters."

And beatnik says: "we obviously don't care about preserving historic downtown except as a growth area so why don't we kill 2 birds with one stone and build the hotel/apartment building on top of the masonic temple?"

Chip: "Great minds think alike, Beatnik!

Eastsiders, If you don't support this plan, Compton might sic his vicious zebra on you!


If you've watched more than a few raunchy bromances in recent years you've no doubt noted the number of stars "hanging dong" for laughs. The censors are cool with it. But to go full-frontal in the context of a searing indie-drama about sex addiction will earn you an NC-17 and a lot of attention. Check out this description of Michael Fassbender's member in this AICN review of Shame:

"Now I don’t know if Fassbender was rocking a stunt cock or what, but let’s just say that my reaction to him in his fully uncensored glory was approximately that of Tom Hanks in BACHELOR PARTY upon seeing “Nick The Dick”: reluctant amazement, giving way to awe. As I straight man, I am here to tell you that this thing in its fulsome magnificence is the kind of talisman that can unite a divided nation, and has such power that it will lift us out of our economic malaise. Audiences will be blown right past revulsion or defensiveness into a state of wonder formerly achievable only by meditation or reflecting upon the cosmos. And that’s the real reason SHAME can’t be anything less than NC-17. Its best supporting actor would end up on the cutting room floor."

Chip: "All this is well and good, but will I see Carey Mulligan naked or won't I?"

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