Thursday, December 4, 2008

This Week in State News: Manhattan, KS-- Keeping America Safe! / Plus, More Art and a Bit of Porn!

Stateleaders are celebrating the major news that Manhattan, Kansas, has been (most likely) chosen to play home to a new $450 million biodefense facility, providing new jobs and a general sense of well-being to Kansans.

Chip: "If we're relying on Manhattan, Kansas to keep us safe we're in a sorry state of affairs indeed."


The artists responsible for a nationwide art project called "Before I Die" are in Larryville today collecting contributions. The project asks people to submit a Polaroid photograph of themselves with a caption below that completes the phrase "Before I Die." ( Note the example below.

Chip and Richard are expected to submit the same sentence: "Before I die I want to bang a Quinton's waitress."


Just because Sarah Palin did not make it to the White House does not mean that the boys aren't keeping up with the status of the Nailin' Paylin' porn film. Reviews have now arrived via the interweb and here's part of one:

"The composition of the camera angles worked well for most of the ladies, their bodies enhanced in most cases but still looking quite healthy. The editing was on the choppy side, sometimes leaving a position too soon...The bitrate varied a lot, staying in the mid 5.1 Mbps range a lot, resulting in no noticed aliasing or compression artifacts."

Chip: "Porn works best when the bitrate stays in the 5.1 range."

The review goes on to note that "the levels of replay value and strokability were higher than average."

Richard: "I'm glad to hear that the film doesn't just play like a novelty item but is in fact something that people might still enjoy beating off to in the years to come."


billy squier said...

And isn't the ability to return repeatedly to a text and encounter new complexities the true test of art? Well, that and strokability.

clarence clemons said...

You got THAT right, Billy Squier!