Thursday, December 18, 2008

The LC's Final Art Stories of 2008! / Plus, the Boys Consider LJ-World's Picks for "Stories of the Year'

Our readers may remember Richard's recent adventures at the opening of the Percolator's "Utopia/Apocalypse" exhibition. The events of that show continue tonight as the Percolator presents a lecture with this title: Modeling the Arrival of the Apocalypse: Quantifying Equestrian Alienation, the Swine Contradiction and their threats to our Existence. A presentation by Professor Blazon, Executive Director of the Research Institute for Apocalyptical Transitions (RIAT).

Professor Blazon is slated to "share the cutting edge developments in the emerging field of Imminent Doom Science (IDS)."

Richard: "Not rain nor sleet nor snow can keep me away from this!"

Winter break is about to begin on campus after one more day of finals, but a new work of 'public art' has been installed on the Chi Omega Fountain just in time for the last days of exams and will remain on display through February. KU Senior Matthew Farley's piece, "Frozen Assets," consists of around 1000 plastic water bottles arranged to mimic flowing water. “I wanted to approach the idea of a fountain and what that could mean and how it might be related to the way we consume water,” explains Farley (

Chip: "First off, Farley, a fountain is not an 'idea'. Second, I don't like the idea of 'art' tainting the sacredness of this fountain, which is known as a place where sorostitutes from the nearby houses frolic naked in the spring and occasionally fuck in, according to 'Sex on the Hill.' "

Richard: "One of my New Year's resolutions is to bang a sorostitute in that fountain in 2009."


The LJ-World website is currently offering "Top Five" lists of Larryville's major stories of the year in various categories. Number one on the list of "City Hall" stories is, of course, the passing of the sales taxes to save the T. (also included: Wakarusa's move to Arkansas and the closing of the Last Call nightclub, home to numerous gun-battles).

Richard: "I don't think it's too early to go ahead and predict the number one story of 2009: the rise in domestic hedgehog ownership."

Chip: "I agree 100%, and I fear it's only a matter of time till those hedgehogs turn on their owners in a bloody massacre that rivals Quantrill's raid."


hank moody said...

A noble goal indeed, Richard!

Word verification of the day: synopea

sugar fried sugar said...

"Their lyrics about hot dog suits, cow clouds, and sparklemittens are hardly the too-cute variety of less capable twee-pop acts..."

No write-up of a band has managed to tap the deep well-spring of hate buried deep in my soul quite like this one. Did they just say "sparklemittens" is "hardly too-cute"? The lyric, "I cover you in sugary glitter kisses, my cotton candy kitten," sounds like death metal compared to "sparklemittens." I hope this guy is having sex with the girl in the band, because if he thinks these kinds of lyrics are going to pick up women, he's wrong. Perhaps they'll pet his face and show him their drawings of rainbow spirits, but that's it. Pathetic.


a hipster's defense said...

But look at them: they ARE so cute!

Absolutely adorable.

They make me want to float away on an ocean of "cow clouds."

cl.thier said...

"Adorable"? That's what passes for "adorable" nowadays? Winnie Cooper was adorable. In the etymological sense of "worthy of being adored," this woman is worthy of being regarded with an esteem on the verge of worship:

See? "Adorable" in both senses of the word! Not those two thrift store posterchildren. I can tell you right now that that guy is slightly overweight and wears jeans two sizes too small four inches too low on his hips so that it looks like he's carrying a small load of crap in his skinny-leg acid-washed Levi's. Cool! Sign me up!

Has anyone taken the risk and listened to one of their tunes or read the interview? Ridiculous. The tunes literally sound like you burned the Super Mario Bros. soundtrack onto a CD and now it's skipping uncontrollably. Meaning, it's awful and only and Chip would like it!

Whew. I sound a bit like the crazed Dr. Sommers, don't I?

That was Josie Moran by the way. She's adorable. Adorably smoking hot. Damn!


Mr. Bubbler said...

Wow, you hipsters can be hostile. It'll be a different town with Wakarusa fest--a lot less hippies to help the town chill out. When hippies disagree about music, they just listen to it around the chronosaurus until everybody agrees it's "far out."

And I think we can all agree that "sugary glitter kisses" are far out.

This is how Dr S sounds said...

Listening to the transmittens, I rejoin moments of my youth when I dared think that, somehow, if I just pushed hard enough, I could give myself a blowjob... but actually ended up giving myself a hernia. (The upside was that I still got someone to cup my balls.). But, I think the real message here concerns one word:


To say, kip, in his love of TM, and of his persistence to slide his own feeble tool into his moouth like a child supping sweet, creamy milk from one-twentieth the length of a drinking straw, is/ is trying to be skullfucked. And, I would note with little irony that the TM of Transmittens is 2/3rds of the TMJ that Kip will get as he oils his orb like body and tries to do the monkey on the floor horizontally... with a channel lock surrounding his junk, pulling, pulling, pulling... Desperate to know the feel of his joint between his soft, doughy lip and cheek... not unlike those pungent, muffled warbles as when he's be stuck like a pig behind Rusty's for indicating he likes TM... And that he has a purrty mouth.

--I had a small seizure when I wrote that.

the chronosaurus said...

Dr. S's post is harshing my buzz, man!

I'm going to jam out to some Transmittens and drift away on a cow cloud...